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Get a domain website and email starting at 1 month all at godaddy. Comedy central from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. Welcome to the daily show. I am jon stewart. Thank you very much for coming tonight. cheers and applause hey, guess what . I got big news. This is it. This is the final episode and what a night what a big big night. A short time ago, the first republican president ial debate wrapped up in cleveland. And i think youll all agree with me, it was incredible. laughter applause so. Articulate. And because of that, even though it is our last night on the air i feel a responsibility oooh jon but yet, we all still remain alive. Last night on the air. I feel somewhat of a responsibility nay nay, an obligation to devote the entirety of our last show to our standard postdebate full team coverage. And so. cheers and applause standing by tonight outside of clevelands quicken arena, where the debates were held weve got Jessica Williams joining us with the bush campaign. cheers and applause weve got hasan minha. Hes with scott walkers campaign. Thats right. Jon Jordan Klepper. Trump applause . Jon Jordan Klepper will be covering donald trump. And i want to ask you guys what are your impressions of tonights really interesting debate . Oh man jon. I thought jeb did well jon uhhuh. Walker, also. And i cant believe trump took out his penis. So so late in the debate. Jon it was a surprise to everybody. laughter now, obviously, our coverage is a bit limited. Were limited to the top three candidates due to the size of the republican field relative to the size of our current stable of correspondents. So unfortunately jon, jon cheers and applause jon assif, thank you. This is an enormous assif thank you for spontaneously appearing in cleveland to help us. Ill take kasich. Jon thank you weve got four people covered now. cheers and applause oh, my god al madrigal. Who do you want to cover . I get it al youre latino. Cover cruz or rubio. You disgust me, stewart jon al, there are six remaining candidates. Take whoever you want. Ill take rubio, please. Jon at least we can cover five people, and that. cheers and applause john hodgman and lewis black, the crbdzor pitching in tonight. Thank you so much for lending a hand to our coverage. John hodgman why dont you take rand paul. And lewis black, chris christie. Oh, i get it. Lewis, youre an angry asshole. Cover christie. You disgust me jon what . cheers and applause this is amazing. We were almost there. Kristen schaal, thank you so much. This is i gotta tell you something really dressed up for a debate. You look lovely. Oh, jon, youre still here . I thought trevor had started by now. Jon what . I said well miss you jon all right you too. All right, eightut of 10 candidates. Eight out of 10 candidates. cheers and applause sam ive missed you so much. Thanks for pitching in tonight. No, jon, thank you, there is no one else i would fly to cleveland in august to help cover wait, im sorry. Whos left . Jon ben carson or huckabee. Oh, my god, ewww jon all right, oh, damn it, nine out of 10. Damn so close it would have been great. cheers and applause i dont know what to say. Oh my god. Im sorry. I cant hear you, jon. Theres a lot of applause here in cleveland. Thats right, jon. Tonight, i heart huckabee. laughter applause jon steve i gotta say this is for me its very touching that you would come back after 12 years and do this. I never left, jon. Becoming an International Superstar is just something i did while waiting for my nassignment. Weve all just been waiting jon, the whole time. Jon youve been waiting the whoam time, that cant i cant believe it we all been waiting a really long time, jon. Where do you get off i have two children to raise. And i have three. laughter . Jon wait a minute. Has everyone, have all the correspondents just been just been waiting around like its been 16 and a half years. That cant be. What about like, Vance Degeneres and mo rocca . Are they were here, jon. Jon they couldnt be here were here, jon. Jon oh, my god i cant believe you guys are here. Were here down on wall street jon . Waiting to do our signature dollars and sense coverage. Jon its been so long since that bit was done on the show. I cant believe you guys are here. To just now do a financial segment. Well, apparently, there wasnt much Financial News to cover this this past decade. Jon all right well, you know, you do the best add tele hey buddy. Oh, man. Day dave. I wouldnt miss this for the world. Let me tell you something, jon. Youve done it. 16 years of great tv. Jon thank you, sir. Next stop, podcast. Jon this is this is unbelievable. How far back are we going to go with these reports . Okay so we have time for one more question. cheers and applause right there, yes, you, the old guy. Jon oh, hey, matt walsh, dave bakkedahl, its me jon stewart. Youre on my show now not your show. What do you mean our show. Jon veep, before that you were correspondents on the daily show so i was expressing happiness that you were here and were done here, thank you. Jon i just want to say one more thing hey hey, asked and answered, asshole. Yeah, you bleep face. Were done here excuse me, jon, skews excuse me. Jon oh, my god, this is amazing. I thought id stop by because i got nothing else to do tonight. The nightly show got bumped. applause gl sorry about that, larry. Black shows matter, jon. laughter applause jon i apologize. Wheres jones . Jason jones . You didnt hear. Hes in georgia filming a new show larry. Why dont you go to him. Jon thats not going to work. It will, if you believe. Jon all right. I didnt know that. Well, let me try it. Let me see what i can do here. All right, thats weird. Lets see if i can do it. Lets go to jason jones. That one. Thanks jon. Let me just say i am so happy youre gonna have some welldeserved time off to watch my brand new Television Show the detour on tbs. Jon well, obviously, you must be busy ill let you get back. Thanks for asking, jon, it is a hilarious new comedy show coming soon on tbs. Jon what an oddly crosspromotional move by hey, jon jon josh gad whats up. Do you want to leave the show man jon oh, you played olaf the snowman in frozen. Thats right, i did. Im a show business god, jon. Jon among eightyearolds. Disney money, bitch cheers and applause wow, wow. Jon. Jon. This is intense. So many so many old faces. Jon rob corddry. I cant even believe youre back here. Come on give me some sugar. No no. Jon rob corddry, everybody. I cant im like im like knocked out here. I didnt want to do this. Its very embarrassing. Its just that everybody here, you guys youre like family. You know, especially you, jon. Jon thank you, rob. You youre like the brother i never had. Jon thank you so much, rob, except i think you have a brother. laughter . No, nope. I dont eye dont think youre right rite about that. Jon i think you have a brother, rob and i think his name is nate and he actually was a correspondent here, too, nate corddry. No, nate does not ring a bell. Jon no, it was. cheers and applause i think you do. Im nate corddry. Im your brother. Come on, corddry come on corddry come on i told you to wait in the car in the trunk of the car go i am sorry jon. You should check in with your other correspondents. Jon all right im all right,il let me wait whats that sound . Ill check in with another correspondent lord vader . Is that you . Stewart. I am more machine than man. Twistd and evil. Responsible for the deaths of bill yons of sentient beings. But it has come to my attention you have been comparing me to dick cheney. laughter that seems a bit harsh. Jon i just thought it was something sith lordy about you and him and i just thought let us be clear, there is the dark side and then whatever he called his sick thing. Jon i didnt mean it. Anger leads to hate, and hate leads to shooting your friend in the face. laughter applause . Jon thank you, lord vader. Wow, that was that was intense. Sith lord as a correspondent. You know, speaking of shooting lets go overseas to our middle east correspondent bassem youssef. Bassem, are you there. Jon, i knew they would eventually get to you. Who shut you down, the white house . The secret police . Thanks obama. Jon no, no ones shutting show down. Im leaving because i want to. Whoa. Thats it. Jon yeah. What a pussy. Jon oh,. Jon its me jon michael che . Hey whats up. You know michael its great to see you but you were a correspondent for three weeks. I dont know if it warranted a full cameo. Maybe some of us like changing jobs before the ass groove in our desk chair is old enough to vote. Jon i have to say that hurt a little bit. I tried to do a good thing and let you do some bits for us, and then we could go through and get and get some applause actually hey, trevor, could you give me, like, 20 more minutes . Oh im so sorry. Jon its great to see you. Its going to be great. Im so excited for you. Just real quick if you dont mind. Jon oh, sure. Thank you, brother, i appreciate it. Well do it later. cheers and applause you know what . That remind me, its not the first time that theyve had to retailor the suits here. Youre finally getting canceled jon. I hate to stay but i knew you were going to run this thing into the ground. Jon its good to see you, too, greg. Jon jon olivia munn olivia, how are you . Congratulations jon olivia, thank you so much. So nice to see you. Of course,. Jon how are you . You didnt have to bring me a cake. Thats lovely. Of course, i did, its your 70th birthday. Jon not my 70th. First of all, its not my birthday, and im not 70. What is it like, 75 no, you do not like 80 jon no its neither one of these. This is lovely why are you on oh, my god come on, jon ive come to take you out of here buddy hey, munn, whats up girl. Jon riggle what are you doing . Put me down riggle. No way, jose. Youre coming with me if you want to live. Jon were having a nice celebration here. Theres no reason to go rambo. You sweet, naive frail, tiny little yes, did i say frail. Jon you did say frail. Do you have any idea the trail of hate that youve left behind . Roll 212. Im paul brown c. E. O. Of arbys brought to you tonight by jon stewart. Jon stewart, its like a tv threw up on your face. Ill never forget you, jon, but i will be trying. Good riddance, smart ass. Dont go. Come back. Jon, ill being sarcastic. And just when im running for president. What a bummer. See you, pipsqueak. What has nine and a half fingers and wont miss you at all . This guy. Jon, i just dont know what to say. Im sure youll, missed by somebody. Un, there are a lot of things happening around the world that keep me up at night which is why ive relied on you to put me to sleep. Have fun feeding your rabbits. Im jon stewart. Im dumb, im stewart. Nahnah so long. cheers and applause jon im not going to say that didnt sting a little bit. That was awesome. Jon ed helms whats up, baby . You look great. Jon its so great to see you, ed and its wonderful to see you jon thats right, you did love to sing. I do. I like to sing. I like to make movies with my friends and, of course, i have my real passion which is rung the Rocky Mountain institute for men hoget more distinguished and handsome as they age. cheers and applause . Jon ive heard of that. And actually, its kind of nice that youre here because im going to be having some free time. Perhaps i could stop by the institute. Um just for a quick visit at the no. Jon all right. I mean yeah, i guess youre right jon jon what the is that . I know that voice. I know that voight voice. Is that wyatt . Wyatt, where are you . Where are you, wyatt . cheers and applause hey wyatt i cant hear you for crazy aapplause. Yeah. Jon are you across the street . Maybe. Jon you look like youre right across the street. Are you coming over . Im thinking about it. I got some balls in the air. Jon all right. You good . Yeah im good. You good . Jon yeah im good. Id love to see you. Ill think about it. My social medias ploag up. Jon i hear you. Hey, jon hey jon what the . Hey jon jon lets check in one last time at guatanamo bay with our old friend, gitmo hey gitmo yay yay what a great day yay jon oh, my god, gitmo. Gitmo and jon stewart finally getting out. Yay hooray for gitmo. Jon gitmo, i got some news, im leaving but they didnt ever really close guantanamo. Im going gitmo. Not leaving . Only jon stewart . Jon yeah. bleep aarrgg jon well get you out of there, gitmo. Well get you out of there cheers and applause i have to say jon i just have to say working here meant the world to me. I have such great memories starting with my very first day. So lets just dive in. Jon sure. I remember for breakfast there were egg sandwiches and i chose the egg whites, because youre getting the protein, you know youre getting the protein, but also youve leaving yourself open for a second sandwich. So thats why with egg whites jon this is all fascinating. Were going to have to pick up the pace just a smidge. No, no, no, jon we cant. When something is important its worth taking the time to discuss it in depth. Im talking 15, 18, even 20 minutes if necessary. Oise oiz what, are you doing. Jon eventually we have to go to commercial. Hold on. What the bleep is a commercial . What are you talking about . Youre talking madness, boy. cheers and applause jon wow, this is this is i have to say, ladies and gentlemen, this is amazing. Thats it. My thanks to everybody. Over all these years, when you look at the talent thats passed through these doors it would have been hard to screw this show up. I just want to thank everybody who lent their talents to this program. It meant the world. cheers and applause i understand. Calm down. I get it. Thank you. Thank you. Just a moment Stephen StephenStephen StephenStephen Stephen cheers just a moment. Arent you forgetting someone, jon . You cant possibly leave without saying goodbye to yer your sam. laughter jon wait. Whos sam . I am jon. laughter jon what am i diane . What is this cheers . I dont understand. No, jon, dont you see . Youre frodo. Jon youre saying im frodo. Why arent you frodo. Jon, one of us is adult sized andsizedand doesnt have hairy toes. Jon point taken. Jon, like frodo you are leaving us on a voyage to the unlying land. Jon im just going to new jersey. For 16 years, you and your basic cable fellowship of funny the ring of power and trudged up the steep slopes of mount doom. Whats the metaphor of ring . Simple, jon, the ring of power is a metaphor for power the power to be a player in the world of media and washington politics. Jon i dont really want that. Jon, you know who else didnt want that . Jon frodo. Your words, jon. Frodo thought siewrl sauron would know they meant to destroy the ring, but i dont have to tell what gandaff said about that. Jon youre just going to tell me that, arent you he said, and im parfraigz here even if i could do it verbaitin if i wanted. He said, my fellow americans, it has not entered into saurons darkest dreams that we would destroy this hideous power. And in the metaphor here power also stood for power. Jon i just want to say that i am so touched that everybody could be here tonight. And me, too, jon. Is there a party or anything . Because i brought a lot of people from cbs. And i told them that i know you. Jon yes, there is a party. And you can go to it Stephen Colbert everybody. Well be right back. cheers and applause actually jon, jon actually, no please sit down. Actually, jon, were not quite done. Jon dont do this. Just a moment, jon. You cant stop anyone because they dont work for you anymore. Huge mistake, jon. It will be quick if you just hold still. Jon, ive been asked and have the privilege to Say Something to you that is not on the prompter right now. Jon please dont do this. Heres the thing jon, you said to me and many other people to never thank you because we owe you nothing. It is one of the few times ive known you to be dead wrong. We owe you and not just what you did for our career by employing us to come on this tremendous show that you made we owe you because we learned from you. We learned from you by example how to do a show with intention, how to work with clarity, how to treat people with with respect. You were infuriatingly good at your job. cheers and applause okay. All of us, all of us, who were lucky enough to work with you and you can edit this out later all of us who were lucky enough to work with you for 16 years are better at our jobs because we got to watch you do yours. And we are better people for having known you. You are a great artist and a good man. And personally, i do not know how this son of a poor appalachian miner i do not know, i do not know what i would do if you hadnt brought me on this show. Id be back in those hills mining birds. Jon you know by now, id have id have dung lung. So jon and its almost over. Jon all right. Know you are not asking for this, but on behalf of so many people whose lives you changed over the past 16 years, thank you. And now, i believe your line correct me if im wrong yes. Is well be right back. Jon well be right back. cheers and applause busy day, huh . Yup. Our annual clearance event really brings em in. I can barely keep up by myself. 0 apr financing. Tons of amazing inventory. 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And now, the tripadvisor you have always trusted for reviews now checks over 200 websites to find the best price. Book book book book over 200 sites checked to find the best price. So dont just visit tripadvisor, book at tripadvisor. It takes technology, engineering and coordination for pga tour professional Rickie Fowler to hit the perfect shot. At quicken loans technology, engineering and coordination come together to deliver a customized mortgage experience. Quicken loans home buy. Refi. Power. Official mortgage sponsor of the pga tour. cheers and applause jon hey everybody. Welcome back not sure not sure what you missed during the commercial break. Ah so, so, okay. laughter you know, one of the things the thing im going to miss most about this place is the people i work with. They are amazing. Every conversation we have is illuminating, uplifting. There are days where you come in and the confusion and the fog is everywhere, and the people here never fail to have my back on those moments. Somebody in the building bringing inspiration, ideas, tenacity, hard work its the thing im proudest of, of this place. Its not the show. Its the process of the show. Its the people of the show and the atmosphere poop. Ive been in show business for a long time and worked in lots of different atmospheres in zeroing levels of toxicity and this is the most beautiful place i have been and ill never have that again and i had to come to terms with that before leaving knowing what i was walking away from, and i can tell you what each of these individuals individuals is like and what they have brought to us, but i really thought rather than you watching me dissolve into a puddle again, id rather let you meet them. As far back as i can remember, i always wanted to be a comic. Comics were the coolest guys around after athletes, movie stars, sirngz, carneys narcs, but after that, comics. For 17 years i got to do it with the people in this building. My crew. If something had to be done if you know what i mean we took care of that thing for you. Jon i know what they mean. Every day wed meet up at our favorite hangout, the office. There was, of course cool zach. How you doing, guy. Jon and the writers, the bread baker and cage. If hut is a species, why did he call himself jawf at hut. Its like an epithet, like jimmy the geek. Nerds. Theres zbone, joan, dlaifery, trayvon, midwest alley. Im from colorado jon there was beauty mcflad, and beauty mcflad, and beauty mcflad. Were different people. Jon you have to be quiet walking past. And sean. Hed made sure everything we said was correct and thats why i called him the researchinator. You never once called me that. Jon these poor soles did the hardest job of all watching the news all day. Juliette, liza. Brunch man. And, of course, gagagoo. Hey, jay. Taxler. James francis and mel kerrs. Donald trump Just Announced hes running for president. sirens . All hands on deck jon we should probably go. Denny wires had the whole place wired. Off to production. The hurt locker. Dev. Donnie appleseed, and brittany. Its for the show jon sure, it is. Theres lisa. And then theres that guy doesnt work here. I dont know who that guy is. And, of course, the prop master. It took 36 months to build. Build another one. I saw the pool on the roof. I like it. Jon accounting laundered moved the money. Lisa christie. Jon hey, go buy yourself something nice. Jon dont mind if i do. Sometimes the stories didnt come to us. Thats when the Field Department was for. We sent outer correspondents out into the world and used their miles to get discounts at amazon. There was nate j. B. And moxies dad and polly. And the producers. Im not jewish. Jon no one believes that here. Youre going to do a great job. Just answer the questions directly. Jon now if you really want to know who ran the joint, you had to hit the executive suite. Hey fellas. What are you doing there . Are you playing cards . Did i interrupt . Ill go. Meow. Heartbreak hill. She booked all the guests. He wants to talk to you. I think hes a little mad. Hey, jonun you ripped me off for the last time of goodfell as okay. Youll hear from my lawyers soon. Jon i dont know what hes talking about. And aib and felipe, antonio. And the maestro at the editing bay. The doctor. Im open. Im always open. Nick, and wheres zuzu. Are we going to have to edit this later . Its one take. Jon and i spin the camera and we end up in the graphics cage. Joe hogan maddie, and jenny. Finally small victory. There was hasan. And polly p. I need 10 minutes. Jon why . My sons are sick, boss. Jon the control room. Christina, tim rob, zoe. Whats up, pauley. And the big man, chuck. Cant forget rocky andrian. Ready, camera, three . Hey, hey, anyone out there know why fruit makes you burp. Jon hey mikey. Another paul on warmup jan and marilyn. And the capos. Greenberg. We lost a minute on the fees. We need that. The network approved the joke. Finally, a bald joke on the daily show. Jon finally we had hey, guys. Hi. Jon correspondents. Finally, the studio where it all came together. Philly phil. Chris. Richie on jib. Franco. T. D. , mike qig, and, of course spin. Here we go. Heres the show cheers and applause jon theatre best in the business. Well be right back. cheers and applause a handpressed burger, melted cheddar with crispy hash browns and an egg your way. Now thats a burg. explosion groans you want that to go again sweetie . The thing burger. Welcome to dennys. Fantastic 4, only in theaters. groan im starving. Weve been compromised dont let hunger kill your game. Hot pockets brings you new snack bites. Bitesize hot pockets sandwiches with 100 real cheese. Guys im back new snack bites from. 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