Larry wow. Woo yeah, yeah welcome to the nightly show. Im larry wilmore. Thank you very much. audience chanting oh man. So nice to be back. Oh, wow. I like how it sped up. Its like, larry larry, larry. laughter man, i missed it. I had to go into starbucks and beg for that every day. laughter it was horrible. It was horrible. So many things happened over the break. There was the deal with the with the other thing and laughter right, right, right . And then the blah blah with the laughter yeah, right, with the you know, [ bleep ] that [ bleep ]. I havent forgotten about you [ bleep ]. laughter i have not forgotten about you. cheers and applause ive been thinking about you the whole time of lets get right to it. Over the weekend, the New York Times got ahold of the full 2005 cosby deposition from a case involving a few of the at least 48 women who have accused cosby. imitating cosby and it is full of things about the inappropriate, the blah blah, the bizzah bazzahs, the raping and the touching and the drinking, the baahhh laughter why didnt you take the quaaludes, the lawyer asked him. He says i used them. He said, for what . Cosby said, the same as you would, say, have a drink. laughter larry no, no no its not the same. Lets have a drink isnt a fun way to tell someone youre going to rufi them. laughter just like lets hang out isnt a cutcy way of saying youre organizing a lynching. laughter not the same. imitating cosby okay, so what was another cosby says the darnedest things thing . laughter she meets me backstage. I give her quaaludes. We then had sex. The lawyer says she said she believes she was not in the position to consent to intercourse after you gave her the drug. Do you believe that is correct . I dont know, cosby replied. Larry yes, you do laughter you gave her a drug and then had sex with her you knew she couldnt consent look, i only know three things in life to be true baby corn should not be a thing. laughter all right . The word moist should never be used except next to the word towelette. laughter all right . True . And bill cosby knew what he was doing. cheers and applause he knew it. You cant do that and not know. applause all right . imitating cosby okay lets keep this going what else craziest thing it i did i say . laughter then in regard to another jane doe, he says you began talking about her career and asking about her father who died of cancer. Do you remember that . Yes, he said, i remember that. Larry oh, [ bleep ] no, no, no. laughter please dont tell me youre going to use this cancer thing as a way to get her into bed. Did you ask her those questions because you wanted to have sex with her . Yes, i did, bill cosby said. [ audience ohs ] larry you used her dead father to have sex with her literally her ghost dad laughter i mean cheers and applause okay. What else . He also admits in this that he never went the entire way with women. That he believes sexual intercourse was concerning because somebody could fall in love with him. He didnt want that. laughter larry so let me break this down. According to cosby, when youre drugging women who youve seduced via ghost dad cancer talk, dont have fullon sex with them or theyll start to get a little clingy. laughter damn, bill cosby who are you getting your dating advice from . Bill cosby . laughter sorry, i couldnt think of anyone else. laughter all right. So what else did the coz brag about . Cosby claimed he and his accuser were playing sex, were playing, petting. Larry petting . laughter thats gross. I mean this isnt a field of cute little puppies, bill. laughter by the way, you guys have sat through a lot of disgusting bile tonight. I give you a lot of credit. You know what . You deserve a break. Lets actually see some puppies running through a field. laughter cheers and applause thats the stuff man. laughter all right. Back to the bile. If this deposition proved anything, its that cosby has absolutely no selfawareness. I think im a pretty decent reader of people and their emotions in these romantic sexual things, he told the lawyer, whatever you want to call them. Larry whatever i want to call them is rapes laughter cheers and applause thats what i would have called them. Hold on and what do you mean you are a decent reader of emotions . First of all, there is nothing decent about you. Absolutely nothing. All right . And secondly, knockedoutandsnoring is not an emotion. laughter all right. Now, this deposition was not the first time cosby boldly just explained to us what he was doing. Check out this spanish fly routine from 1969. This was from his comedy act. You know anything about spanish fly . Well, theres this girl crazy mary you put some in her drink, man. Shes like ahhh. laughter go to a party, see five girls standing alone. Boy, in i had a whole jug of spanish fly, id light that corner up over there. [ audience ohs ] laughter larry this was 15 years before the cosby show was even on the air. This wasnt a red flag. This was a huge cosby sweater pattern flag. laughter right . Wait, hold on. applause and even on the cosby show, he talked about spiking the barbecue sauce. Havent you ever noticed after people have some of my barbecue sauce, after a while, when it kicks in, they get all huggybuggy . I love your neck, honey. Its perfect, like a swan. Ooh, elvin. Larry jesus christ, sondra cant even keep her eyes open. laughter weve got Cliff Huxtable on camera forcing mesquite rufi sauce on his own family. laughter so let me see if i can really be clear about this. Okay . This is how horrible of a human being that [ bleep ] is. This is why i call him a [ bleep ] all the time okay . laughter he believes that truing and he believes that drugging and raping women deserves to be laughed at. He put it in a comedy act, and he put it on his tv show. He finds what he did to be funny. Five words you. Can. Go. [ bleep ]. Yourself. cheers and applause all right. Okay. For more on this, from our 24 7 cosby situation room, is our own holly walker. Holly cheers and applause hey, holly i know you have a lot to say. What do you have to say about this . First of all, we havent forgotten about you, [ bleep ]. laughter . Larry yeah, yeah. We i i i actually already covered that holly. laughter okay. Then i really have nothing to say. laughter larry really . Wait, nothing . I cant say it, larry. I have to rap it. cheers and applause larry you have to rap it . Why do you have to rap it . Because cosby hates rap, and my mission in life is to do anything that might irritate that asshole. Larry okay. All right. laughter go for it. Give me a beat. rap beat ah, yeah cheers i was chillin in hawaii sippin on a margarita smooth as can be like golden brown velveeta then i saw a newspaper had to spit out my food bill cosby confessed to using quaaludes . Tons of women vindicated i found myself crying finally, theres proof pill cosby was lying deposition released much to bills chagrin call me coppertone cause im rubbing this [ bleep ] in laughter bill cosby is a rapist everybody will know its true he should stop doing shows its just not funny hello friend goodbye to you there were other news stories nothing stuck with me not even jared being raided for his pals pornography nothing else mattered for 14 days all i thought of was the rapist that said hey hey hey laughter the serena slam and pluto up close meant zip when he confessed to giving women a dose not the womens world cup or caitlyns espy snag now that cosbys going down like the Confederate Flag and im out cheers and applause larry wow. Holly walker everyone. Well be right back. Nice cheers and applause its time to bid farewell. To this booking incredible island resort. And its incredible island staff. father i cant imagine life without them. This is not goodbye. Yes, it is. father no, it isnt. Ok, i guess its not. You got it booking right. Booking. Com booking. Yeah if you cant stand the heat, get off the test track. Get the mercedesbenz youve been burning for at the summer event, going on now at your authorized mercedesbenz dealer. Hurry, before this opportunity cools off. Share your summer moments in your mercedesbenz with us. This is an iphone. And it comes with something amazing an app store with over one and a half million of the best apps available. Thats over one and a half million handpicked, aweinspiring, justplainsurprising, whoknewaphonecoulddothat apps. If its not an iphone, its not an iphone. Crispy m ms® are baaaack. What are you doing . You said to tell our fans crispy m ms® are back. Not those fans did you mean this fan . No. annoyed grumbles what about that one . Theres a fan in the break room, oh and in the. trails off so good, theyre back. Daves been working on his game, and starting each day with a delicious bowl of heart healthy kelloggs raisin bran. Hows your cereal . Sweet tastes like winning. How would you know what winning tastes like . Invest in your heart health, with kelloggs raisin bran. No crying today. groan im starving. Weve been compromised dont let hunger kill your game. Hot pockets brings you new snack bites. Bitesize hot pockets sandwiches with 100 real cheese. Guys im back new snack bites from. Hot pockets cheers and applause larry welcome back. Time to check in on the president ial race. All right. Whats happening with the unblackening . laughter larry man in completely unsurprising news, president ial candidate donald trump spit out another series of vile comments over the weekend. What . laughter this time, in the form of digs at senator john mccains war service. But, frank, let me get to it. Hes a war hero. Hes not a war hero. A war hero. Hes a war hero because he was captured. I like people that werent captured. Okay . I hate to tell you. [ audience boos ] larry i dont think you hate to tell us anything. laughter and what does that mean, i like people that werent captured . Sorry. imitating trump thats why i hate slaves. Im okay with slavery, but slaves are loozas. laughter come on, they got captured. I hate to tell you. laughter this is so unbelievable to me. Calling out a vet for being a p. O. W. . Whats next . Calling out a firefighter for getting caught in a burning building . laughter imitating trump hes a looza. Didnt you see the fire burning in the building . laughter right . Whats the matter with you . Thats looza logic. laughter hate to tell you. I hate to tell you. cheers and applause looza. Listen up, listen to me. Some people are born loozas. laughter thats why i hate csections. Loozas. laughter what are you, coming out sideways . Youre all captured in there like a looza. laughter youre starting out your life as a looza. Maybe you should write in your journal day one looza. laughter donald trump, everyone. Thank you very much. cheers and applause looza, looza, looza, looza. Now, some of you may be too young to remember who john mccain is. I mean, he last ran for president in 2008. Thats like 400 twitter years ago. laughter long time. But john mccain didnt just spend 5 1 2 years as a prisoner of war, enduring torture and injuries that still plague him to today. He had the opportunity to come home early, but he refused special treatment unless everyone was released. What mccain did was honorable and selfless. How can i put it in a better way . It was the exact opposite of putting up a goldplated hotel with your name on it. laughter cheers and applause look, guys i get it. I know its crazy season in a president ial cycle, but usually the crazy ones start falling away when their craziness is exposed. Nine, nine, nine right . laughter but not trump. He just keeps right on trumping, i mean, and laughter right up the republican polls. Its unbelievable. But, hey, im not saying stop. laughter ive got a comedy show that needs content. laughter keep on trumping. Well be right back. cheers and applause prep trauma unit 5. Whatve we got . Bp 64 40 sterilize sites. Multiple foreign objects in the body. Tweezers. buzz buzz if youre the guy from the operation game, you get operated on. Its what you do. buzz if you want to save fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance you switch to geico. Its what you do. This is an iphone. And unlike most smartphones, we design the hardware part and the Software Part. So the hardware part makes the most of the Software Part. And the Software Part makes the most of the hardware part. Yep. When you design the whole phone, all the parts Work Together as one amazing part. If its not an iphone, its not an iphone. groan im starving. Weve been compromised dont let hunger kill your game. Hot pockets brings you new snack bites. Bitesize hot pockets sandwiches with 100 real cheese. Guys im back new snack bites from. Hot pockets daves been working on his game, and starting each day with a delicious bowl of heart healthy kelloggs raisin bran. Hows your cereal . Sweet tastes like winning. How would you know what winning tastes like . Invest in your heart health, with kelloggs raisin bran. No crying today. Some people may think subway doesnt have enough flavor. Im here to help em think differently. You know that sandwich you always get . I can make it even better. You ever try this toasted with monterrey cheddar . You know what, why not. Ok how about we spice this up a little bit . That sounds amazing. Lets rock this sandwich together. Subway. Eat fresh. Ladies and gentlemen, today we will be offering. Theyre gone. What do you mean theyre gone . The snacks. Theyre gone. Theyre missing. Well they have to be here somewhere. Theyre not here. They cant just get up and walk away. Alright, only 13 more hours to go. Youre gonna have to hold it larry welcome back. Im here with my panel. The nightly show contributor and member of our barbershop mike yard. cheers and applause very funny comedian kerry coddett. cheers and applause and back with us again, cnn legal analyst sunny hostin. cheers and applause okay. Lets get right into the pudding pop man. laughter in his own words, he comes out and says all this stuff in the deposition and it still sounds like some people are struggling to say that he raped. Why do you think that is . Why i think because people think its dr. Huxtable, right . I actually dont think theyve been able to separate the two. But i think most people believe it now. I think its sort of the fringe crazies that are unwilling larry i think hes a pudding pop but who are who are these people . Are they rapists . laughter . I think larry all these people that would not are rapists. Rapists are like, nament ah he is not one of us. laughter exactly. We do not drug people. I think people are having a hard time calling him a racist because they rapist because they think, these girls signed up for it or these girls went up to his hotel room or they knowingly took a pill. If im an actress and im trying to get ahead in my career, that doesnt mean if i go up to a hotel room with bill cosby, i want him to have sex with me while im unconscious. It might mean i want him to fondle my titties a little bit. laughter cheers larry let me see if i understand this kerry. Youre saying he doesnt have to knock you out to fondle your laughter . Thats what im saying. I want to be conscious. laughter if you say kerry ill let you be the new mike yard if you come up to the hotel. laughter i did not get fondled to be mike yard. Okay . Dont put me in that. laughter larry im not sure what position youre taking kerry. Im saying even if the woman went up to the hotel room, it isnt mean they signed up to get raped. Larry i dont think anybody cheers and applause thats what im saying. Larry exactly. There is no such thing as this is signing me up i wanted to sign up for rape, this is not laughter wheres the signup for rape . Thats what were all struggling with is that issue of consent. I read the deposition, 1,000 pages. I spent the day reading it, and what was so shocking to me is he seemingly believed that he could assess nonverbal consent when a womans been knocked out on quaaludes. So many of the women larry but hes clearly lying right there. Hes clearly lying, bum of the women came forward and said just that. He took my ability to consent. He took my ability to do anything away from me. And thats when youre talking about a real sociopath. I agree. cheers and applause i actually think the word is i think the word is monster. Larry yeah, hes a monster. Hes a dirtbag. Larry he has the medal of freedom that he got like 13 years ago. There was a great reporter that asked obama straight up, can you take it away . He said, we dont have the mechanics for that. Mechanics . You can sign an executive order. Hes the president. Hes got veto power. He can do whatever he wants. Larry cuba. That was padlocked shut. They ran all kinds of [ bleep ] he says that he doesnt really care, right . Hes got the bucket list now that rhymes with something else. laughter so im actually larry his black side is president ing right now. laughter so that was actually very surprising to me that he he thought he couldnt do anything about it. Damn his medal of freedom. How about we take away his freedom [ bleep ] . Not his medals. cheers and applause larry see i think if youre a serial rapist like that rape is horrible but hes been doing it since the 60s for christ sake. Yes, he has. Larry there has to be a mechanism for putting somebody away like that. There isnt now, but i think thats going to change actually. I did child sex crimes as a federal prosecutor. Larry you did child sex crimes . laughter . I prosecuted child sex crimes. laughter and the statute of limitations has changed for child sex crimes. I do think after this quite frankly, this scandal, i think that were going to see a Movement Towards changing the statute of limitations at least one good thing will come out of it. But i dont think hes ever going to see the inside of a jail cell actually in these cases, but whats important, every single victim of crime that ive met has said they wanted to be believed. Larry right. They wanted to be validated. And guess what . Every Single Person now believes most people believe cheers and applause yeah. Larry i started to say a little bit about the huxtabless do you think people have a hard time separating the art from the assholes . laughter i think if we look, people have been able to turn a blind eye if art is good enough. R. Kelly peed on a kid. He came back stepping, we were singing right along with him. Thats right youre right i wasnt. overlapping talking and the reason people dont forgive chris brown is because his music is just not good enough. Thats fact. Its true. And thats why i think people just cant separate the two. But i think people need to startceptrating the two. I dont go watch Roman Polanski films anymore right . I dont do that. I dont listen to chris brown anymore. I dont do that. Larry youre saying leonard part 7 was hilarious. I never had that problem because ive never been a big fan of any of the cosbys fat albert, dr. Huxtable, the rapist. laughter ive never been a fan of any of them. cheers and applause i never had that problem, not being able to separate. Hes a [ bleep ] rapist. The great that [ bleep ] did it. Larry well be right back. cheers and applause larry if you live in the new york city area or planning to visit, grab some free tickets to an upcoming taping of the the nightly show, monday through thursday. For complete details go to the thenightlyshow. Com tickets. cheers and applause every coconut has a dream. To come out of its shell. To show all the world its true, inner beauty. And then, in an ironic twist get covered up by chocolate and almonds. Almond joy mounds. What every coconut wants. If you cant stand the heat, get off the test track. Get the mercedesbenz youve been burning for at the summer event, going on now at your authorized mercedesbenz dealer. Hurry, before this opportunity cools off. Share your summer moments in your mercedesbenz with us. [ horn honks melody ] well, well. If it isnt the belle of the ball. Gentlemen. You look well. Whats new, flo . Well, a name your price tool went missing last week. Name your what, now . It gives you Coverage Options based on your budget. I just hope whoever stole it knows that it only works at progressive. Com. So, you cant use it to just buy stuff . No. Im sorry, gustav. We have to go back to the pet store. [ gustav squawks ] hes gonna meet us there. The name your price tool. Still only at progressive. Com. Break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. Ice breakers. cheers and applause larry thats our show i want to thank our panelists mike yard, kerry coddett, and sunny hostin. Give them a nice round of applause. cheers and applause join me tomorrow night when judd apatow joins me on the panel. Goodnightly, everyone cheers and applause [classical music] i can hear you breathing. Please stop. Eggs dauphine, my lady. Blanche, i said i wanted scrambled eggs. Blanche, you idiot you got egg upon my snood he was going to wear that today now he has to select another snood im lillian. Im the pretty, smart, funny, ambitious nice body, soontobe famous one. And im beatrice. Im the pretty one. Sir, telegram for you, lady beatrice. Ooh [clears throat] oh. Mm. [sighs] what does it say . I dont know how to read. Right. Oh, darling, your friends, the claudette sisters . Theyve passed. [gasps] our best friends died finally the claudette sisters passing means theres 2 spots open in the newport 400 the 400 most important white people in all of america. And i know whos going to fill them. Who . Us. Well, id like to propose a toast to the death of our social rivals. To the claudette sisters and to tuberculosis for taking their lives at such a young age. Yes [laughter] mm