In the republican field. But only one is giving me joy right now. This guy. laughter wass the latest in the saga of the hugest most classiest, most elegant most luxurious kind of day ever. On monday nbc announced it will no longer air the miss usa or Miss Universe pageant partly owned by trump, following a similar step by univision which also dumped the event. Larry oh. Univision. Trump no es elegante. And to the surprise of move one trump reacted by suing univision for 500 million dollars. And apparently he had to this. People say wow he is really running. And i give up a the lo. You know when i do this i give up a lot. As an example univisioning im going to have to sue univision now. laughter larry okay, first of all its univision. And second of all why are you just suing them. Didnt nbc dump you too . Maybe i will be suing nbc too. Larry oh. Pardon me. Man, im really lacking forward to the trump presidency. To combat Global Warming i will be suing icebergs and polar bears. Yeah. Im also suing this hurricane thats approaching florida. Back off what the hell is going on. Oh but my favorite of trumps tit for tat legal strategy president ial Campaign Rollout strategy logic jijitsu has to be from yesterday when macys dropped trumps not made in the usa clothing line. By the way which is the hugest, most classiest most elegant you know the rest. You know the rest. To which trump said ive decided to terminate my relationship with masseys. applause larry seriously . Oh my god. Whats oh, oh, you have decided to are you trying to gas light us. Do you know how reporting works . We all know you were dumped. Its like a fiveyearold you know. Hey masseys im rubber youre glue or better yet im the moss classest most serious, most vulcanized rubber ever made and youre the most disgusting most liquidiest least adhesive glue ever. And if you think that was some fifth grade level histrionics this one doesnt even make trump sense, okay. So at his president ial Campaign Announcement trump ent ared to neil youngs song rocking in the free world, okay. So well when young asked trump to stop using his song trump responded with i dont even like that song that much. laughter larry you picked it as the walk on music for your president ial announcement. Its not pandora. I mean right you dont just type in president ial announcement and surprise neil young comes on right. Im walking out to this but im thumbsing it down. Right . It doesnt make sense. applause larry i tell you donald trump, donald trump is like the ass hell in the bar with calls a girl ugly after she refauses to go out with him right. Shes not classy. But its not just individuals and Companies Running from him. The entire city of new york is questioning its relationship with trump. And the controversial comment, of course i dont know if you remember these words in his announcement speech about mexican immigrants. Theyre bringing drugs theyre bringing crime. Theyre rapists. Larry i dont have a joke here i just want you to bathe in that for a second. Take a little bath a little trump bath in that. Because later on in an interview he said this. And i love mexico. I love the mexican people. I love them. Larry you just called them rapists and drug dealers. Did you think they were so busy raping they didnt see your speech . Seriously. I mean surely donald i mean youre running for president of the united states. You cannot say an entire group of people are raping. Surely youre going to go on television and clear this up right . I think hes going to take one of televisions top journalists to get to the bottom of this. I never thought i would say this but don lemon mr. Lemon youre our last hope. I have lead ive read the washington post. I read the fusion i read the huffington post. An thats about women being raped. Its not about criminals coming across the border or entering the country. Somebodys doing the raping, don. I mean you know i mean somebodys doing it its women being raped, well who is doing the raping . Larry whos doing the raping . Okay, whos bringing the chips . Whos bringing the beer . Wait, wait whos doing the raping . Oh okay very good very good. I didnt know i had to ask. I have to tell you though as far as Campaign Slogans go done all trump 2016 whos doing the raping . Right . Its not bad. cheers and applause larry its not bad. Hope and change whos doing the raping . Not a bad ring to it but i tell you one group that all this doesnt seem to turn off. Amid the controversy trump had been surging in the republican polls. Up to second place in the first primary state of new hampshire. Whoses the best on terrorism, thats a pretty important subject trump right at the top. Whos the best on handling international trade. Like not even close. Trump is like almost double anybody else. Larry okay, hold on a second. Is he analyzing his own poll results . And then referring to himself in the third person . What are you a president ial candidate or prima donna wide receiver. I dont applause but i tell you what you know Republican Voters okay this one time im not going to chastise you. Im not going to ridicule you. You keep doing what you are doing okay. So i can keep doing what im doing, okay . Trump 2016. Whos doing the raping . Well be right back. cheers and applause hot dog. Pizza. Hot dog. Pizza. Hot dog. Pizza. Hot dog. Pizza. Hot dog. Pizza. Hot dog. Pizza. Hot dog bites pizzaaaaaaa two classics together at last. Get a hot dog bites pizza with 28 hot dog bites. Limited supply, just 11. 99. No one has more flavor. When Francois Thibault said he was going to make vodka in cognac with spring water and the best french wheat. Everyone here said. Non, non but little by little the world got to love what he had made. Grey goose, francois . The extraordinary belongs to those who make it. Verizon say neversettle. Tmobile agrees. Never settle for verizons overpriced gimmicks. Try the uncarrier riskfree for 14 days youll love it, or well pay for you to go back. If you misplaced your Discover Card you can now use freeze it to prevent new purchases on your account in seconds. And once you find it you can switch it right on again. Youre back freeze it, only from discover. Get it at discover. Com. Moms know their familys mouths often need a helping hand. After brushing listerine® total care helps prevent cavities strengthens teeth and restores tooth enamel. Its an easy way to give listerine® total care to the total family. Listerine® total care. One bottle, six benefits. Power to your mouth™. And for kids starting at age six, listerine® smart rinse delivers extra cavity protection after brushing. Larry welcome back. I have to say one of my favorite stories of the last week involved a young lady who took an Early Morning excursion to retrieve an unsavory relic. Or in laymans terms she took the con federal flag down. You scaled the 30 foot feel and desned with the flag in hand. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome bad flag snatcher bree newsome. cheers and applause thank you so much for being on the show. Come on out. Have that seat right there. There we go. Thanks so much for joining us. Thanks for having me. Larry i noticed when you tweeted you were excited to be on the show to share some mint julep with me. Yes larry kind of a little toast. And discuss a discussion of removing the flag. Larry exactly am so here is what i want to he no. How much planning like went into that. Did you have like a pole in your backyard to practice on. Well, yeah, it was about ten of us who pulled the whole thing together including folks who mr. Down in South Carolina who could like actually go down there and look at the scene see what all what be involved what roles would be required. And so then by the time we came to get it some of those logistics had been laid out and it was just a matter of who was going to fill what roles including climbing the pole. So i was like i will do t had i climbed a pole before no, but lets do it. So there was a whole group and you said wait wait. Yeah i mean yeah i mean, we went through it and of course we had to discuss that the two roles one of chriping the pole and one of being at the bottom and watching guard those two people might an rested. Larry how many people were on the scene during the about nine of us. Larry there were nine people there. I know that. Yeah. Larry there was a wol group of you that did this together. Yeah t was coordinated. Larry did you all work in your core like at the same time. That is what i would have to do. So what went through your mind the moment you had that flag . Did you realize the importance of this or were you just kind of like god i can see my house from here. What did that feel like. It was just like this really amazing feeling of like Mission Accomplished you know. I mean one of the hardest points that i was concerned about is just get being 15 feet up the pole and i knew once i got that far up i was pretty much clear to make it up there. Once i got up there and was able to unhook the flag. High enough that no one could grab you. Exactly. Once i got up there an grabbed it, it was just like yes take me to jail. cheers and applause larry and when you were about halfway up did you when the Capitol Police showed up. Yeah. Larry were you scared at that moment . What did that feel like . No not reallyment because i was out of reach. It was kind of this awkward thing of them being to come down and me just being like no. You know. Larry were they pretty cool about it . Yeah, i mean clearly i had ruined their day i mean you know, i was like. Larry but oops sorry guys. Sorry for the inconvenience. Larry some people compared to you rosa parks called you like a superhero right so here is what i want to do. We need to come up with a proper superhero name for you. Okay. So the offender. Soul pole, kind of cool sounds like frozen a little bit. Sister slicker or queen bree. Question one queen brie . cheers and applause larry actually, i think the proper superhero name is bree newsome. There you go. Thank you. Larry so we also have an award we want to give you. Okay. Larry its titled the bre newsome award. I dont know how that works. And unfortunately i dont have it here but we put it in a place that might be easy for you to get. So if we can just show yeah, so you can grab it. No no no. Its not true. No, no the bree newsome award unbelievable what she did. Well be right back. Bree newsome cheers and applause automated voice to file a claim, please state your name. Carnie wilson. Thank you. Can you hold on . Hold on for one more day really . Hey, i know theres pain. Why do you lock yourself up in these chains . This would be so easy if you had progressive. Our mobile app would let you file a claim and help you find one of our Service Centers where we manage the entire repair process. Things will go your way if you hold on. [ sighs ] someday somebodys gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye. Say goodbye no, you just made it weird. Looks like that gun boat is aiming right at us. Dont be ridiculous. Destroying this sniper tower would provide no strategic advantage. I stand corrected, johnson, it is super fun to blow something up that provides no strategic advantage. Alright, lets head home, boys. Boom beach. Come with a plan or leave in defeat. Larry welcome back. I am here with my panel tonight. Hes a comedian and nightly show contributor but you know him best as black ice mike yard. Hes an incredible comedic performer and nightly show writer but you know her best as the incognegro hunter holly walker and a comedian and nightly show executive producer but you might know him as the one who plays all those dutchy white guys rory albanese. And a contributer who actually got a rossie par easy at the last parade ricky velez. Before we start i want to explain were going to do something new. We started to talk about that the people we see at the time were in my barber shop. It matter what you say when you go out everybody is open so these are the people when you see our regulars they are in our barber shop. So were collecting people in our barber shop and audience members will have a chance to bet if the barber shop too. So that will be fun. cheers and applause so im excited tonight were doing bag of grab so there is an unusual object in there, and you take it out, whatever it is will be our topic. We will do these topics, holly, you want to go first. Yes. Larry what can be it be licence ladies first. Larry the object will tell us what the topic is. Okay. Larry i like that one. Okay that this one is great. This is a these are what you see on lawns this is for the drought inical call. There is a lot of rich asshole whs keep watering their lawns at ridiculous rates, they dont care. They say they are above it. We had this huge argument over lawns, okay. So who look, i will just say these people are wrong. But is it okay to have lawns . Lets just start there. Its okay to have a lawn if you live like in michigan. But if you are if you are living in tatuine and there is no water to be found you dont get to have a lawn. Larry i dont know if that place exists or not. No no hold on. Star wars. If you have the money to pay for the water why shouldnt you be allowed to use it. If i had the money i would clean my car with fiji every day, okay. Thats [bleep]. You think rich people should hog the water. If they can afford it yes. If i can afford something are you going to tell me. They are using water from like the supply that supplies everybody and im rich so i want a lawn grow up, i mean. Rory. Im pro lawn. Oh. Nice. Daisy dukes. So how do you get in there. Okay so tvland announces its pulling reruns of the tv show dux of hazard because the Confederate Flag controversy. First of all any dukes of hazard fans in the audience . I love that show great show. Tvland doing the right thing. No comment about this because like its not because im mad about the Confederate Flag its because im young. And. So you are calling us all old. Pretty much. All old. I am going to call chips on you that is how old i am. No clue what that means. I will have punch and john come arrest you. I love the dukes of hazard and field like the show is the show t exists already. Inglorious basterds with swastikas they arent going to pull that. The duke boys never mean no harm, you no he what i mean. They literally they literally boss hogs that saul they were doing. They meant no harm. They tell awe head of time. They inintro with the lawn says the day they were born. I didnt know this about the duke boys. I just want to say i want to just say that is the whitest thing youve ever done. I have known you a long time. That is the whitest thing you have ever done. Larry go ahead. I was just saying the voice he did was the most racist thing i ever heard. Its. Larry okay. What have we got. This is a hymnal for the president ial president obama last week at the charleston eulogy broke out in song, right . Can we see that real quick. Amazing grace how sweet the sound. Larry okay, let me just say, i am so glad he did this because this proves what i my theory that his white side governed for the first six years. And now his black side is president ing currently right . It is. Yeah. Larry his black side is currently president ing. Was this obamas blackest moment . I mean if a white president just broke out like a preacher in a church and then started singing people would be going [bleep]. I think they would have sounded exactly like that i think that was his white part trying to brust through. Larry you think so. That was awful. Larry . Larry he sounded like a hineu trying to sing gospel come on, man what was that . Larry hes the president come on. That was that was a black moment. Any time are you in a churchnd and you start singing and people are like do it mr. President. Larry he the president they have to. At the dont have to. Larry the president gave an unbelievable speech, and everybody is like this. Yes mr. President. He starts thinging theyre like oh [bleep]. Okay okay. cheers and applause when the hands start doing this, it is a black moment yes. It didnt matter if he sounded good or not. Larry and the women are all doing this. Yup. Even though there is air continuing on. Because i have been to many a black church where people dont sing on key. Im saying it is the president. What is this talent show at the beginning of the week he did a pod cast. He did the he is going to join an improv group in the next ten days. His blackest moment to me was when he was dealing with the heckler that is when he got really black. Thats when he got really black. He did the little head lean when a black man does this, he is up set. Underneath the pattio he snapped a belt real quick. Larry i dont care what it is im telling you i like my president like i like my coffee anybody else want a big black ass cup of coffee. Well be right back. cheers and applause bran some free tickets for an upcoming taping for the nightly show, go to the nightly show. Com tickets so this beauty can be yours with a down payment and 10 financing. Oh larry, lawrence. Thanks to the tools and help at experian. Com, i know i have a 798 fico score. [score alert text sound] [score alert text sound] oh. Thats the sound of my Interest Rate going down. According to this score alert, my fico score just went up to 816. 816. 816 816 fico scores are used in 90 of credit decisions. So get your credit swagger on. Go to experian. Com become a member of experian credit tracker and take charge of your score. People tell me stories without saying one word. So i listen. Then i give it back. What are you chasing . Hennessy. Never stop. Never settle. [ male announcer ] give extra. Get extra. From the people who brought you the baconator, its Wendys Baconator fries just a buck ninetynine. Freshlycooked applewoodsmoked bacon joins forces with melty cheddar to take fries to another dimension this summer, baconator fries at a wendys near you. [ding, ding] hey buddy. What can i getcha . 1, 2, 3. Redds apple ale. [ding, ding] redds apple ale. Also in strawberry and green apple. Anybody else . Panelist hero bree newsome. cheers and applause . S. Womens soccer team. Lets kick the world cup ass cheers and applause from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central jon hi, everybody welcome to the daily show my name is jon stewart my guest tonight one of our alltime favorites, sarah vowell will be joining us tonight. Were so excited about that. cheers and applause you know what . This is the last show before we go on a break a coupleweek break. Then when we get back, basically its a threeweek run to the finale. Obviously, ive got a lot of mixed emotions about this, but i want to talk about one person whos been there for me, really throughout this whole run but