Boyfriend Upset About Something American Government Did In 1970s
CLEVELAND—As he paced around the apartment muttering about the military-industrial complex and nefarious Cold War policy initiatives, sources confirmed Wednesday that local boyfriend Kyle Palmer was upset about something the U.S. government did in the 1970s. “He’s completely incensed, going on and on about how the CIA committed crimes against humanity with an operation called Project something or other—I’m honestly not sure,” said girlfriend Kathleen Durham, adding that while Palmer appeared to want to explain to her what he was so mad about, he also seemed angry that she didn’t already know. “I think it was in Latin America? Or maybe Afghanistan? I don’t doubt it was horrendous, and seeing how angry he is, I want to be supportive. But there’s not much I can do about half-century-old atrocities. I’ve tried changing the subject, but even a topic as innocuous as whether we should order Thai food or pick up dinner from the falafel place will send him off on another tangent about some disastrous and unconscionable thing Henry Kissinger did.” At press time, Palmer had reportedly punched a wall after Durham said she thought perhaps President Carter had tried his hardest when dealing with the shah of Iran.