Again, and published option b. Now she has a new call to action to companies and their leaders. Joining me today on studio 1. 0, facebook coo Sheryl Sandberg and author of lean in and option b. When you wrote your first public post about his death, you shared advice about how to approach someone who is going through something tragic. Dont ask how are you, ask how are you today. How are you today, in this moment, two years later . Sheryl i realized after i lost dave, how badly we deal with grief, how badly we deal with not just finding what we need for ourselves but supporting each other. I realized that, before i lost him, i had no idea how to handle a colleague going through something hard. I would say, im sorry for your loss, and i would never mention it again. After i lost him, i realized that even the basic pleasantries, to someone who was just diagnosed with cancer or lost a child, that can seem like a really insensitive question. Emily do you feel like he is still teaching you, all of us . Sheryl definitely. I try to remember what dave would say, i try to remember the things, the way he looked at things. It gets harder as the years go on. Certainly, as a parent, specific situations, when i first lost him there were situations of my kids where i dont have his opinion, but then i remember what he cared about. He cared for my children, and i know he cared about people in the workplace. Ive watched surveymonkey redefined a purpose around curiosity and how people use data to make decisions. I know how much he would like that. And being on your show was emotional for me, because whenever i saw you is when i would watch him. Emily how have you changed how you lead . Sheryl it was something that surprised me. I thought about the fact that when you list someone, you are sad or angry, but what no one had talked about was the confidence loss. When it happened to me, it made sense. He said things to me that i used to say to people, of course you can get through it. In the days where i wanted to be at work, because being home was horrific, hearing of course you cant concentrate, that undercut by confidence. Now i have a different course. Start with time off, but if someone is choosing to be at work, i will say, thank you for that contribution. Even the most basic complement can really help someone who is facing a personal crisis, facing a cancer diagnosis, struggling with something in their personal life, because it tells then you think they can contribute. Emily facebook had increased paid family leave as a result. How has this shaped facebooks culture . Sheryl this is an important conversation, not just for facebook, but for all companies. I believe we need 21st Century Companies and 21st century commitment. Emily what does that mean . Sheryl it means Public Policy this country is in a bad place. We are the only developed country in the world to not have maternity leave, the only one. We are one of the only countries in the world that doesnt take family medical leave. Companies have an opportunity and obligation to step into the gap, and whats important for companies to understand is that it isnt a tradeoff between the right thing and the smart thing, this is both. I actually believe it will create the kind of companies that will outperform in a globally competitive environment. Emily i know you have been quietly disseminating this philosophy around corporate openness and talking to other ceos. What are you telling them . Sheryl lets start with the policy side. We need better corporate policies. Parental leave, maternal and paternal, adopting a child and childbirth. At facebook, we offer four months, and we encourage people to take it. Mark zuckerberg set a great example. Paid family medical leave so people can take care of themselves. And bereavement leave. I didnt think much about bereavement leave until i lost the david. Facebook has good policies in place and we extended them further. We offer 20 days for someone who lost an immediate Family Member and 10 days for extended Family Members. I have been talking to a lot of ceos about extending their per easement leave. Mastercard announced, and i was so happy to applaud them for it. Surveymonkey did it as well. I hope that more companies will step in and offer substantial paid reasonably. Emily it is hard to leave any job, but tech moves so fast. Are people taking the leave they are given . Sheryl we encourage dads to take the leave. One thing we do is we give them four months over the first year, and if you want to take it up front, that is great, and we are happy to encourage it. But some people have said, my mother will be there for the first month, i want to do it later. One of the ways we encourage people to take the leave is they get flexible. Emily what if you work at a car company, a consulting firm, a company in china, where it might be more difficult to create that kind of culture . Sheryl i have been talking about this for a long time. I wrote in lean in that i cry at work sometimes. That was reported that i cry on Mark Zuckerberg shoulder, which is not what happened. I wrote that i leave work at 5 30 to be home for dinner. The concept that we can be great leaders, managers, contributors, but also great parents and wives and husbands and fathers and mothers and, i dont think these things tradeoff. I think they go together. Emily when you said you leave work at 5 30, someone else said, you couldnt have gotten more publicity if you murder to someone. [laughter] but i think it is fair you dont leave work behind. The expectations of modern workers are higher than ever. How do employers address that . Sheryl it is such a good point. The expectations are higher on both sides, and you are right. When my parents were in the workforce, early days, there was no internet. You couldnt work at home, and now we can. Im not pretending i leave work at 5 30 and dont pick it up again, of course i do. But the idea, to go home have dinner, then work, gives me the flexibility i need to be home. We need to communicate well with our employees, not everything is an emergency. I said emails late at night, i have a system with people at work for, if it is important and i need an answer, i will read flag it. If i dont, you can wait. I want to set it up so i can work hours that make sense for me, but it is not forcing them to stay up for that late gmail to respond. Emily one uber investor told me he would die to have you in that spot. Why not . Emily Tech Companies have these amazing campuses, you never have to go home. Some people call it assisted living. Facebook is one of those companies, you offer so much. Do you see a downside to that, a downside to the fact that you can sleep at the office if you want to . Sheryl we try to offer things, but we dont require it. We offer dinner, but no one is required. I know people who take dinner in a box for the commute or when they get home. I think we have an obligation to do what we can for employees, and that means contractors. We did something to years ago which is pretty unprecedented, we announced we were going to pay all our contractors, that we would have deals with them to pay a minimum wage at 15 per hour and get paid leave. Thats something more companies can do. I recognize the margins we have, and that we are able to do more, but i think almost all companies could stretch to do more for their employees, and offer as much as they can. I think this is the 21st century commitment. We need people to work for us, and that includes contractors. Emily the gig economy is changing the way we work. Uber is in more flexible work. How do we take care of them on a policy level . Sheryl Corporate Leaders need to think about leave policies, pay policies, not just for their employees but for their contractors. I encourage other people to do it. Lets talk about Public Policy. The only country in the world that doesnt offer paid maternity leave. Lets talk about family medical leave. Theres a good bill senator gillibrand. Its a good bill. It offers 12 weeks. It covers men and women. It offers substantial wage reimbursement and replacement. It covers all forms of meeting leave. That is the kind of Public Policy we need. There is some progress at the state level, it became the fifth state to offer a leave policy, but i dont think we can fully rely on companies. We need Strong National policy. Emily apple build a brand, spanking new campus with a gym, no childcare, much was made of that. Tech companies have never shied away from radical solutions. Should companies with the resources offer things like child care . Sheryl child care is often complicated, in the sense that a lot of companies that offer indirectly have long wait lists, and a lot of places arent zoned for it. I have talked to a lot of companies who have different ways of dealing with it, but here is what every company should make sure employees are paid enough, that they can afford good childcare, whether it is offered on campus, which is great if you can do it, or if it is offered elsewhere. Employees have the flexibility that when a child is sick, they are not worried about losing their jobs. We know that, with people who are employees with apples and facebook, they are more likely to be able to provide those things. Emily i am curious how the message of option b and corporate openness can sharing hurt women more . Sheryl there are double standards. But if people have never had it it turns out babies cry the same amount. As adults, women cry more than men. We socialize that, and i think our culture needs to change, because we are holding men and women back. I really believe the best leaders and managers do not shy away from emotion, but embrace it. That doesnt mean we spend all day kumbayaing, no one is saying that. But it does mean that when someone has lost a child, how are you today . I am thinking of you. What can i do to help you . On the way out of the meeting, are you sure you want to be here . But you made a great point. That is how you use eq and iq to be a great manager. The best managers are doing it and more can. Emily care has been an explosion of stories about Sexual Harassment in silicon valley. People have lost their jobs, the ceo of uber has resigned. Are you surprised . Sheryl i mean, i am hugely disappointed. Sexual harassment has been around for a long time in every industry. Its abominable that it still exists in this day and age. People know better. I think its great when people lose their jobs when it happens, because that is what i think well get people to not do it in the future. I think it is a leadership challenge. As the leader of a company, there needs to be no tolerance for it. Full stop, no tolerance. No one should go to work and face this. Emily what is your advice to the next leader of uber . Sheryl i think people responded to what is tolerated and what is encouraged. A great leader can change the culture of almost any company and almost any situation. You put in new policy, you have new procedures, to language is different. I am always optimistic. Emily one uber investor told me he would die to have you in that spot. Why not . Sheryl because i love facebook, i really do. I love my job. I love our new mission about building community, and i left the community that is this company. I get to do something i deeply believe in with one of my best friends in the world, but there are a lot of great people out there who can lead uber and lots of other companies in ways that dont just prevent Sexual Harassment that is basic. We could do better. Emily part of the problem is that it is still maledominated. Despite your leadership, on this topic has it that hard to change the ratio than your thought . Sheryl our numbers are still low for women, underrepresented minorities, and that is something thats a problem, because it is hurting us. Diverse teams make better decisions. We are having some success on the business side of the company, our company is more than half women on the business side and i am proud of that. On the tech side it remains a struggle. There are 16 of Computer Science graduates that are women, compared to 35 in the 1980s, when the field was smaller. Blacks and hispanics are not represented in Computer Science. We have to persuade more women in underrepresented minorities to go into Computer Science. We take that seriously at facebook. We have a large Internship Program and we hire people who are computer scientists of all backgrounds. We created facebook university, tried to find women and underrepresented minorities who we thought could be great at compete or science but werent yet, so we could get them earlier, invest in them, keep them in. We have a large Computer Program that we do with linkedin and my foundation, trying to get women to feel that they have peers from the beginning. If you go to a Computer Science class but there arent enough women, you can be in a lean in circle of computer scientists, where you are seeing more women. We need to do more because we are still not moving numbers enough. Emily i have heard you talk about how much you enjoy visiting lean in circles and hearing other women talk about the challenges they are taking on. What challenges do you want to take on . Sherly i feel fully challenged. [laughter] emily mark has just gone on a tour of the entire country to connect with real americans. Sheryl well, mark wanted to make sure he had gone to all the states. It was interesting, when i first came to facebook, mark told me he had never really gotten to travel that much. He started a company before he graduated from college. He took a trip where he could see different parts of the world. I think he realized he hadnt even understood and seen his own country. I think what he has learned and experienced has been important for facebook, because it is helping inform our products. When he rolls out a new mission of being communitybased, that was coming from a deep place of experience, of what he was seeing, it was being found and lost in communities. Mark and i, and all the people who work here, we know we have a very big responsibility, and we want facebook to help. We always have. Mark having that direct experience is helping us build products that will build community. Emily facebooks new mission is not just to connect the world, but to bring people closer together through groups. Do you think groups are the future of facebook . Sheryl i think groups are important because they bring people together. They are one product manifestation of the community. Emily mark has talked about concerns of isolation and nationalism that have arisen despite facebooks efforts to connect the world. Groups coalesce around likeminded views and interests. Do you think facebook is part of the solution or the problem . Sheryl any technology that has ever been invented has been used for good and sometimes used for bad. We work very hard to make sure the bad is not on facebook. I think groups are helpful i think they bring people together. You see a lot of groups that are broad. One of the women i met with, women of muslim and jewish faith together, very much on purpose, bring people together. There are a lot of groups that serve the purpose of bringing people who wouldnt otherwise connect together online. That is what powers of technology. A huge part of our user base has crossborder connection, and i think about that in my own life. When i was in high school or college, i didnt know anyone outside our country. I grew up in miami, i barely knew anyone who wasnt from miami. But if i am on facebook now, i probably have a friend on facebook from another country. Emily would you ever consider showing people news or information from the other side of the aisle . What about people who think differently than me . Sheryl i think people worry that facebook puts you in a news feed is all the people of the same views as you that is not what happens. Because the facebook, you can hear from more voices, and on average, by extending to more voices, you see broader views than you otherwise would see. That doesnt mean everyone is being blasted by views from the other side, they arent. But on average, i still think we all can do more to learn more about what other people think and what their experiences are. Emily whatsapp is now partially blocked in china. Is marks view of connecting the world sheryl we always have the whole world includes china. Emily mark said facebook is more like a government then additional company. How this facebook manage the spoke of its policy media, and all these different responsibilities, in this modern age . Sheryl we try to do it by empowering local teams. We know we are not going to get everything right, so with Public Policy, we have hired local teams on the ground, with extraordinary leaders around the world, and they make sure we understand what is going on. With so many people posting to facebook, we make mistakes. We are trying to address them quickly and correct them. We are also really investing in community operations. We are hiring thousands of people to work, and that is a pretty serious investment, around the world. We want to get the policies right, get there quickly, and make sure we are staffed to be as responsive as possible. Emily if facebook is more like a government that the company, what is your role . Sheryl well, we are company. We are a company that is broadly used. We have deep responsibility to people who use us to put out a product and service that enables them to share and keeps harmful things from happening. We have a responsibility to the people that use our products, when we report something, we get to it as quickly as possible. We have a responsibility to build teams around the world that have empathy for local users. Emily facebook is pushing forward with artificial intelligence, you are hiring 3000 people to moderate content. Ultimately, this will be a Job Technology might be able to do. What you see as the impact of automation on the human worker . Sheryl automation has had very profound impacts for workers, and we know that. I am old enough to remember when you used to get money from a bank, when you used to check in with the person to get an airline ticket. We see how automation is taking jobs. Technology can also be used to grow jobs. We have 70 million Small Businesses that use facebook on a monthly basis, and we Just Announced we have 50 million Small Businesses using instagram. These are mostly businesses using the power of technology to find their customers. We study are impact on the economy regularly, and we care about the millions of jobs we create. The work really hard to help Small Businesses use technology to help them thrive, and importantly, all businesses. Emily facebook is making a huge push into video, and some think it may be more like a competitor to youtube. How you hope this changes your perception of what facebook is . Sheryl four years ago, you tried to post a video, you couldnt. It was super annoying. Today, video is exploding because the technology is there. What we are doing is making sure people can share and consume content in any way they want. Video is an important part of that. Emily facebook has taken on many of snapchats most popular ideas. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but others may not feel that way. Do you think there is room for another social network in the facebook empire . Sheryl mobile time is exploding. People are using more and more mobile time, more and more social time. I remember interviewing for this job almost 10 years ago, mark saying more things would be social. That is whats happening. There is certainly room for a lot of companies to offer lots of great services. Emily i heard you talk about how much you enjoy visiting lean in circles and hearing other women talk about the challenges they are taking on. What challenges do you want to take on . Sheryl i feel fully challenged. [laughter] facebook just hit 2 billion users around the world. I love working with mark and the team on that. Im glad i wrote option b, it was emotional, but i think it was important. If it helps just one person, then that gives daves life a little more meaning, and that has all the meeting in the world for me. Emily would you ever run for office . Sheryl no. [laughter] emily ok, got it. You have been here nine years. What are you most proud of, and what is one thing you still hope to do . Sheryl im most proud of our teams around the world. People i work with every day at facebook believe in our mission. They work so hard to get it right. They correct when they need to. They are building products, and i am proud of them, and i am grateful. And i think there is a lot we still need to get right. We still need to built products and services that help people share authentically. Emily Sheryl Sandberg, facebook coo, thank you so much for joining us. Narrator fx harsono is among indonesias most important living artists. He has been a part of the art scene for over four decades. Fx harsono is one of the most significant artists to come out of indonesia, in terms of his political involvement, his role as an activist