Equal is gay marriage . Wanting that this programme contains flashing images. I think if i look back to when i came out, when i was 22 a couple of years before, you know, gay marriage was a thing that you could do the world that was around me or any person thinking about coming out then is so different to what a lot of people seem to experience now. Theres a couple of teachers who are, like, lgbt trained. I didnt come out till i was in my 205. Yeah, that was a difficult, difficult time for me. I mean, i always knew i was gay, so i actually saw all of my siblings get| married, one by one. And weve a decade since that law changed. Societys changed, expectations have changed. Im interested to know whether gay marriage has changed things as much as it seems like it might� ve. Theres still so much work to be done to try and fight for our right to be able to get married in a church. For us, faith is really important. Its really difficult to actually have a religious ceremony. I think within five years i or so, i think we will have Same Sex Marriage in the church. So, how did we get here . And is everyone in the country able to benefit from the changes in the law ten years on . I guess its how equal is equal marriage . Its ten years since the first Same Sex Marriages in the uk and, for many people, it is a bit of a milestone. Part of me struggled to come out and i wish id done it a bit sooner, and i wondered if we had more role models when i was growing up, if that might have been a bit easier. A six week stop to fighting in the middle east. I also speak to lots of people in this job and hear different opinions on issues in the news and, historically, the law hasnt always been on the side of gay people. It took decades of protests and campaigning to eventually see marriage laws change in march 2014. I am now very happy to announce that you are now legally husband and husband. Cheering and applause. An historic moment as the first Same Sex Marriages take place overnight. It was a time for celebrating for gay people, and lots of it. We want to be classed as equals. We shouldnt be made to feel any different. Good morning, gentlemen. Lovely day for a wedding. Thank you very much we are now legally married, and thats a wonderful feeling. Nearly 5,000 marriages between same sex couples happened in england and wales that year though not everyone was happy. We cantjust redefine an institution. The law changed at different times across the uk, too. As husband and husband cheering and applause. In scotland, gay marriages started at the end of 2014. Northern ireland waited until 2020. This is my wife. I can finally say she is my wife and we have actually had our marriage. But is everyone in the uk now able to benefit and does it make coming out any easier . One person whod know is a tottenham striker, an England International and a lioness bethany england, someone whos regularly called an lgbt role model. Its not often im sitting with somebody thats played in a World Cup Final. Yeah. Captain of a Super League Football team. Fancy a kick about . Yeah, lets go for it. Despite bethany� s skills and success, she has to have a thick skin. This is vaguely terrifying, just in case youre wondering. Shes played in a World Cup Final. I bought these in the shop this morning. Its not good. You were playing in that World Cup Final last year. Do you find that you do still get the hate . Nine times out of ten, its not Women Trolling women, its the men trolling the womens game and how bad we are and its the same generic, get in the kitchen or no one wants to watch you. Yet, you found the time to comment . So, its like i dont see the point in people needing to troll. Do you get homophobic abuse on there as well . Ive had a few comments, mainly when if ive put a post up of me and my partner, i definitely had a few on twitter of some guys basically saying, 0h, come to my side. Ill show you a good time. And like, you dont know what youre doing with a woman, and it tends to be a lot of religious stuff that gets thrown our way. I find it more awkward, i think, for my partner because, obviously, im very much an open book. I dont mind walking down the street, holding hands. My partner is very much more reserved, so its quite sad that she feels the need to not make other people feel uncomfortable when, ultimately, what should it matter what other people think, as long as youre happy and youre with me . Youre engaged. We are, yeah. Congratulations. Thank you very much. I know it was a year ago, roughly. Yeah, yeah. Just over a year ago. That you posted that news. Yeah. How was that . It was really nice. Obviously, when it happened, it was all emotional and i always wanted this big, fancy wedding, but now, obviously, imjust like, maybe not so big. Were not getting married in a church. Obviously, most churches, its quite hard to accept for a gay wedding but also, its such a shame that theres still so much work to be done to try and fight for our right to be able to get married in a church as well. Livingston was a nice place to grow up. We moved here when i was nine or ten from glasgow. I loved football, was obsessed with football. Its looking very different than it used to. Wanted to play it, wanted to talk about it, watch it, get it on the computer game, talked about it with my friends. Ive seen this before. There was just nobody in football that was gay. In a Football World with lots of other guys that dont have those conversations, its easier to ignore completely. This is where we all met or got to know each other, because of livingston football club. It was a cup final i think a scottish cup final where some of the fans at it were singing about the other teams fans being gay as an insult, and that was just accepted. I kept telling one of my mates that i needed to speak to them about something and kind of then putting it off. It took being on a night out and probably having too many beers, trying to go home and them saying, no, actually, wait a minute. Youve been trying to tell me something for weeks. Youre not leaving before you do that. I knew i didnt really want to date girls. I remember thinking you were incredibly unlucky or really bad at it because we would put ourselves in situations obviously talking about going to pubs and clubs, so we were around it a hell of a lot. I didnt overthink it, to be honest with you, but, yeah. Me coming out i think back a lot, and what i might have done differently, how i might have dealt with it differently. What do you remember about it . Iremember it. It was i think at the time it was something that was i dont want to say taboo but it wasnt something that wed really probably had much experience of, like, as a group. We were all guys who played football, went to the football, went out together and it wasnt probably at that time something that youd heard much of. I think when you did, for us it was or, certainly, for me it didnt change anything. It was more nice to know that you felt comfortable to do that with us. Yeah. I know when we talked after that, that was a big deal for you having those i conversations with us and coming out to us. Was it a surprise . Yeah, ithink it was a surprise. For me, it moved on quite quickly into, ok, lets go| and get another drink, then. We were in the pub at the time, so. I do you remember much about it . No, i do, i do, i do. You told me about the experience of going and meeting someone for the first time and that was the way you chose to deliver it. It was just a case of, well, how did it go . Was the first thing i think i remember saying to you. I didnt say the word � gay�. The word gay was probably used quite a lot and thrown around back then by all of us harmlessly, we probably felt but in a different way to maybe it would be now. You know, playing football, in the changing room, you probably werent realising, are the things im saying could they be potentially hurting people in the group . Words like that and the conversations that we were having at times like that, were very conscious of now. Even though my experience of coming out went well, i want to see if things have changed for people younger than i was. I was at high school from 2001 to 2008. I dont remember any out gay pupils in the school. We didnt talk about people wed seen on telly that we liked that might be gay or talk about the fact they were gay. How are you going . What sort of support do you think you get at the school when it comes to talking about identity and that sort of stuff . If you want to learn about it, you can go to, like, obviously ask questions in wellbeing, and you will get the occasional pse lesson. But other than that, its, like, everyone� s kind of chill about it. Theres a couple of teachers who are, like, lgbt trained. Sometimes we have, like, meetings and its, like, how do we, like, represent lgbt more . Is it stuff you guys talk about or not really something you mention . Occasionally. But most of the time, just kind of, like, its never happened like, i was always just me. It doesnt really come up a lot, honestly. Just its there, and simple. What i ended up with was feeling a bit uneasy about something as i went through my teens because you knew there was this thing you werent being honest about. It would have been, like, a neater situation, in a lot of ways, if youd realised, ok, im gay. So, ten years on from the Same Sex Marriage act coming into effect. But lets go back a bit to the 16th century, when king henry iii made gay sex punishable by death. Over 300 years later, the Death Penalty was replaced with a Life Sentence in prison, or hard labour. By 1885, when canal street In Manchester was trading cotton instead of drinks, the law was extended to include all homosexual acts as gross indecency. It was used to prosecute gay men like oscar wilde, the author, and world war ii codebreaker alan turing. By 1954, more than 1,000 men a year were being sent to prison. That led to calls to look again at the law. I went into this toilet i suppose two or three times in the course of an afternoon. I came out and somebody said that they was arresting me for importuning. In other words, looking for sex in a public place. This man spoke anonymously to the bbc about being arrested. So, they put me in a cell. I never slept ijust sat and cried. In 1957, a uk government report recommended decriminalising gay sex. Sirjohn wolfenden chaired the committee that published it. Adult, Consenting Males in private should not have their behaviour in this matter brought within the criminal law. It didnt happen until 1967, and only in england and wales. But a change in the law doesnt guarantee a change in attitude by the rest of us. For many of us, this is revolting men dancing with men. Any progress in the rest of the uk was slow. Gay sex was illegal in scotland until 1981 and an offence in Northern Ireland until 1982. Mufseen, from london, came out as gay when he was 24. Hes from a big family and has gone to lots of their weddings. But he wonders whether its something he might be able to do, too. Yeah, so i grew up in brighton and my parents are both bangladeshi and muslim. It was, like, a very lovely childhood to grow up by the sea. So, i grew up with five sisters and one brother and im the youngest. Wow. So, i actually saw all of my siblings get married, one by one, until, like, the Pecking Order came down to me. Going to some weddings, especially as i got into, like, teenage years, it became bittersweet because i was like, oh, you know, i really enjoy weddings and all the tradition. When its my turn, im just going to probably disappoint my parents. And thats quite a lot to hold as a young person. When did thinking you might be gay start . Ive always been gay. And i think in south asian cultures especially, like, with the older generation, theres this idea that it was a choice, which is obviously completely false. It was difficult and i knew i wasnt going to get a positive reaction, so i kind ofjust took it on the chin. And over the years, weve been able to rebuild our relationship. The relationship with my siblings is great now and they are very supportive. I have seen some of my queer south asian friends get married, been able to incorporate their culture, have Family Members and relatives come, and thats beautiful. And if i do get married, id love to do it the same way. I would love for everyone just to be able to celebrate that one day with everything with, like, completely unfiltered joy. Wagwan, 1xtra happy tuesday and when it comes to no filters, remi, who i work with at 1xtra, really fits the bill. I wish there was just like a live feed where people canjust watch whats going on in the studio. Thats right. Its remi burgz, your local energy provider. Im going crazy to these songs. This hat is off, the glasses are in the corner, the hairs swinging from side to side. It was very, very important for me to come out to my family. Growing up nigerian, respect is a massive thing in our culture so, for me, i didnt feel like i could do anything until i told them. How did that go . How did that work . Telling my dad ithink he was the one i was scared to tell the most because we had a good relationship. It was just a random day, where i casually go to my parents house and i kind ofjust told him like, yo, like, this is who i am. I had a massive cry, like, and he hugged me and hejust told me that, i just want you to be happy and i remember i remember leaving that house like i was flying. Ifeel like, growing up, iwas like, yeah, i want to get married. The law is there which allows you to have Same Sex Marriage. Its still something that i dont think is visual. Growing up, i didnt see anyone who looked like me, so it was very hard for me to imagine that i could live it. Im just following love and wherever that leads me, oh, if it means i say i do, then i do, innit . But if not, then i dont. While marriage isnt on everyone� s minds, the issue is forjide macauleay. Hes a priest in the Church Of England which, right now, doesnt allow same sex weddings. I grew up in a very religious environment. Part of my personal challenge was actually trying to deal with the fact that im gay and that it was against both my culture and my religion, as i understood it at the time. I was on a journey suppressing my same sex desire. I was also having Mental Health issues. I was breaking down. And i remember it was the summer of 1994 when i sat with my ex wife and had to tell her that this is who i am, and that broke the two of us. Goodness me. Sorry. Its all right. I havent thought about this for. But its ok. Take your time. Its ok. You know what . Every time i share my story, it hurts. I always felt that, you know, the church could be a safe space and that is why i do what i do today. I just love the fact that i was so camp. Actually, i want to be that person that you can look up to to say, jide is notjust a priest hes also a black man, a gay man, and someone thats living well with hiv. We can look at him as an example of change that were seeking to see. I would love to be able to celebrate and offer Same Sex Marriage as a priest in the Church Of England. The church has evolved from issues around slavery, racism, you know, the subjugation of women. If we came back in ten years from now, will that be happening . I strongly believe it will be. It will be a dream come true. Im hoping that within five years to ten years that we will say, roll over, you know, in the Church Of England, where we can have those marriages in our church and be able to say to people, god bless you. That is all it takes. Its a big church. It is a big church. Jide is someone whos turned his life around. But the pain and trauma of his past lives with him a burden many gay people say they also carry. So, protect yourself. By the � 80s, the outbreak of hiv and aids, which killed millions worldwide, saw gay people stigmatised. You must wear a condom. Some politicians even called for making gay sex illegal again. Weve rolled forward since 1957 and today is very different. Weve got aids, which is a menace to health. And the schoolbook the Education Secretary wants to ban. In 1988, a law was brought in to stop schools from doing what they said was promoting homosexuality. Theres some very good material on sex education, but this is propaganda. It was called section 28. Are being taught that they have an inalienable right to be gay. In 1990, Justin Fashanu became the worlds first top level footballer to come out as gay. His professional career ended soon after. No, id do the same again because the bottom line is be true to yourself the bottom line. He took his own life eight years later, aged 37. By 1994, the government lowered the age of consent for gay men from 21 to 18. When it went in favour of 18 and the vote for 16 was defeated, the crowd erupted. In 2000, it was lowered for most of the uk to 16, but Northern Ireland held out for another eight years. By 2000, section 28 was toast. Devolution saw scotland become the first part of the uk to scrap it. Why did you force through this repeal of clause 28 . Well, i havent forced it through its not through yet. Ive come to leeds to meet a bishop and ask why the Church Of England wont allow its clergy to do same sex weddings. But first, some numbers. Under the 2014 law, religious institutions were automatically not included in doing gay marriages. They could opt in if they wanted to. Most still dont. In fact, of almost 40,000 Places Of Worship in england and wales, which you need for a religious wedding, only around 1,100 do Same Sex Marriages today. Thats less than 3 of all buildings where those weddings happen. Some of the people weve spoken to would like to see the Church Of England opt in to the Gay Marriage Law and allow its priests, if they want to, to do gay marriages. What do you say to them . Just a few months ago, in december, we had the First Services where churches were able to bless the relationships of gay couples. When Same Sex Marriages first came along ten years ago, the legislation that enabled that specifically said that the Church Of England cannot do gay marriage. So, as part of that, in order to get to a point of changing it, requires the Church Of Englands own parliament, and parliament itself, to actually go through the process of changing that law. Do you think its happening fast enough . Because right now, a person of faith whos gay cant get married in their own church. And i think there are many voices within the church not least the gay women and men who are bishops, priests, in our pews who are saying, this needs to happen sooner. And there are others and some of them also gay women and men who are opposed to this and who would say that the services that happened in december are already something thats happening too quickly for them. The Church Of Scotland has opted in. There isnt a total figure we can compare but 156 of its ministers will conduct a same sex wedding. 105 from the Scottish Episcopal Church will do the same. Were the first in the county, so were very, very thrilled. In 2005, civil partnerships were brought in a new legal Relationship Status for same sex couples. Why we may not register as each others civil partner. Then in 2013, a law was passed paving the way for gay marriage. The first gay weddings in england and wales took place on 29th march, 2014. Peter mcgraith and David Cabreza from london were among the first to tie the knot, just after midnight. Its very, very humbling. I feel very privileged and honoured and proud. Scotland came slightly later that year and Northern Ireland in 2020 though, at the time, some people were still concerned about redefining marriage. There are many millions of our fellow citizens who are deeply uncomfortable with a change to a treasured institution. Northern ireland introduced Same Sex Marriage in 2020. Steve ames performed the first religious ceremony here. We have folks who are from all sorts of different denominations and they all want to get married. So, although the legislation changed from the government side, the churches still have to opt in, and none of the mainstream churches have in fact, 98 of all religious officiants in Northern Ireland have not opted in. So, that leaves very few of us who are actually legally able, so that means i have a lot of couples who will come to me and theyre asking me can i officiate a more catholic Same Sex Marriage or a more presbyterian one . These folks really wouldve preferred to have gotten married within their own religious context. I can still offer them Something Like that but its not really what they wanted, you know . Chris hudsons from a Smaller Church that allows Same Sex Marriages, and he campaigned for the law to be changed here. Theres still not very many celebrants in Northern Ireland who will do a Same Sex Marriage. Why do you think that is . I think its because of social conservatism. However, you will find in opinion poll after opinion poll that the majority of people in Northern Ireland support equal marriage. How do you engage on that with other people in those churches . You dont run around calling people homophobes, you enter into dialogue with them and, a lot of the time, youll hear a sort of a fear element that somehow, by changing the laws of marriage, youre diminishing marriage. But when you explain to them, here is a group of people who are every bit as religious as you are but yet, you think they should be on the outside. Theyre discriminating against somebody on the basis of their sexuality is that not the definition of homophobia . Its a conservatism to conserve what they believe are the Better Things in life. If you call somebody a name, its not a great way of pushing your Point Of View or winning an argument. Yes, there are people who are homophobic but i believe that most people arent. But sometimes, something that you might think is homophobic is just innate conservatism on a particular issue. Youve a rainbow flag in the corner of a church i dont think ive ever seen that before. Jade came here to All Souls Church for a pride service, and she says it helped change how she thought about her identity and faith. Shes here with her fiancee, lucy. We are getting married. Woo still feels a bit surreal to actually say that. You went down on one knee, did you . I went down on one knee, i did. You know, with a view of the sea behind us. I arrived to lucy standing at the most beautiful viewpoint on the north coast, loads of italian tourists, whod been put on pause to wait. Yeah, thats where you proposed, and it was beautiful. Jade, youve been quite involved in getting to this point, where gay marriage is a thing in Northern Ireland. I suppose there are a couple of ways that weve been involved. One is through active campaigning. The more profound piece for me has been Holding Space publicly for our relationship. When i say oh, do you know my partner, jade . My colleagues in front of me and goes, oh, your partners name isjake . How lovely just sort of being able to have the confidence to correct that. Whilst we now, thankfully, do have equal marriage in Northern Ireland and across the uk, its not as straightforward now we have that. For us, faith is really important and its really difficult to actually have a religious ceremony and to get married in a church. If a church doesnt want to marry us, i wouldnt want to force them to do that, but i think they should have to opt out. I think i was a little bit naive in thinking religion wouldnt be a big part of this because, all right, ten years on from gay marriage, so many more people have role models they can look up to, they can feel themselves, they can be comfortable as themselves, they can get married. But if youre a person of faith, you dont really have equal access to marriage. If you or anyone you know has been affected by the issues raised in this programme, more support� s available on the lgbt pages of bbc action line. Hello. Weve seen some fairly heavy rain through the overnight period and this morning as well, pushing its way northwards across much of england. Its going to sit for Eastern Parts of england and Eastern Scotland through the course of the day, gradually easing. But therell be some sunshine coming in towards the west. So certainly a day of mixed fortunes. This area of low pressure has been bringing us that rain. Its pushing northwards around the east coast in particular, some blustery winds around that area of low pressure too. Some sunshine out there for western scotland, Northern Ireland, wales and the south west of england. But therell also be a scattering of showers thatll be fairly hit and miss. That rain slowly easing away from the South East Of England and east anglia, but sitting across Northeast England and Eastern Scotland for a good part of the afternoon. Some blustery winds in and around that area of low pressure in the east. We could see gusts around 30 miles an hour or even a little bit stronger close to that east coast. And its really going to feel quite chilly, just seven degrees in aberdeen. Feeling cooler than that with the wind chill but up to about 13 in the sunshine towards the west. Into the evening hours, well eventually lose that wet weather from most places. Its going to linger longest up towards parts of northern scotland, the Northern Isles in particular, more rain moving in to Northern Ireland by dawn. For most of us, a frost free nights, but we still could see A Touch Of Frost across rural parts of central and Eastern Scotland. Now into monday, the next area of low pressure arrives from the west. This time, quite a few isobars ahead of it, showing us its going to be a fairly breezy sort of day on monday, but certainly an improved day for central, southern and eastern england. Mostly dry here with some sunshine. There will be showery rain, though, pushing its way gradually into many central and Western Parts of the uk. So blustery, quite windy and still rather cool in the north west. 12 or 13 degrees, but 18 down towards the south east, so significantly warmer than weve seen over the past week or so. Into tuesday, low pressure is out towards the west, higher pressure in the east and that combination means well be drawing the air in for more of a south easterly direction. So the orange colours arriving again across the map, showing us its going to be a little bit warmer at last. Not completely dry, though, and still quite blustery, showery rather cool across Western Parts of the british isles. For instance, belfastjust 12 degrees, but norwich and london sitting at around 18 in the sunnier spells. And then for the week ahead then, well continue to see those temperatures rising for a time. Could be close to 20 degrees at times towards the south, but low pressure not too far away, still some showers, perhaps something a little drier towards the bank holiday weekend. Live from london. This is bbc news. The us Secretary Of State heads to saudi arabia as diplomatic efforts intensify to stop israels move into rafah. Ministers insist health is a priority after the tory mp Daniel Poulter defects to labour because of concerns over how the nhs is managed. The tesla chief, elon musk, Lands In Beijing where hes expected to meet chinese officials to discuss electric vehicles. And as australia demands an end to violence against women, Prime MinisterAnthony Albanese says the countrys culture and mens behaviour must change. Hello, im catherine byaruhanga. We start in the middle east where efforts are under way to agree a truce that would delay israels Attack On Rafah in southern gaza. Israels Foreign Minister says this is possible if hamas agrees to free its hostages