Image: Alina Grubnyak
Do you feel an unshakeable urge to put hot sauce on your watermelon? When reminded of the great Cash Money Records takeover of nine-nine and the two thousands, can you resist backing dat azz up? Have you ever wished a motherfucker would?
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If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be suffering from being Excessively Black.
Although this condition has plagued melanin-rich people for years, experts traditionally considered Excessive Blackness to be a psychological syndrome that can strike at any time. Many people immediately dismissed Beyoncé when she detailed her battle with the disease. But either those people don’t have to jump to put their jeans on, or they don’t have the genetic markers for EB (It’s most often found among those whose daddy is Alabama and mama is Louisiana).