And to spend that we meet with global news makers and talk about the stories that home to their own. Hey theyre welcome to the stream home edition im josh rushing sitting in for the irreplaceable to me ok today in today we time a trans racial adoption now in the u. S. Most babies who will be adopted are nonwhite but 73 percent of those will be adopted by white peer its in this raises a whole host of questions about what does it mean for that childs culture for their identity particularly as they become adults now if youre joining us on you tube i want you to be a part of the conversation so that box over there thats a live view to chat and we have a stream producer in there waiting right now to get your questions and your comments into the show were going to get them to mean im going to get into our guest speaking of our guests there are 3 to 4 people who are involved in trans racial adoptions in the u. S. All from a little bit of a different angle and im going to ask them right now to introduce themselves were going to begin with Angela Angela can tell us a bit about who you are how i share gaffneys Angela Tucker and i am black from an obviously i was adopted from the south and tennessee to Washington State rests white parents and a predominately white town and i searched and found my birth parents in my twentys and thats when i really started. Exploring and discovering my frock chason my black atty. I now run a. Good option department in seattle and really worked for its center and adoptee. Great now and im going to take your word for 2nd here you got a movie closure that people should check out they get that pretty much anywhere the streams that at this point are right in line and. Yeah yeah and then youre going to fry cast youve got a podcast coming out is it to mom does not owe it to morrow your high caste ok whats a park is called if i can ask how to get out the next hour and were going to fall fast fast well people can find it anywhere you get there your gas applesauce spotify us just sure ok ok called nicole you know something about this to you wrote a book called was it all we can ever know that right all you can ever know thats right its a memoir about growing up translational you adopted small white tile in Southern Oregon im actually the daughter of korean immigrants so my birth parents immigrated to the u. S. Shortly before i was born so the 1st member of my birth family born here grew up in a closed adoption like me nothing really about my origins and i decided to search for my birth family in my mid to late twentys while i was pregnant with my 1st child was really a kind of impetus for my search and i wrote about it in a memoir called oh you can i remember it was just happens to be right over your shoulder there yes maam we did we didnt we didnt say your full name in the introduction there was nicole chung. And moving on to kid q you founded reason cultures right q tell me a bit about that. Yes my name is kid zones baldwin i found it raising culture is after i adopted 2 biracial children and a caucasian fern and i kind of found that it was very difficult to get any resources as a trans racially adoptive parent especially the way around weve experienced a lot of different. Prejudices the racism do that do so that it is just been a crazy whirlwind of things and so im trying to bring awareness to transfer racial adoption the other way but what do you mean other way around. When you say youve experienced crazy things racism what he what he talking about. When i say the other way basically when a caucasian families adopt africanamerican children or you know brown children its not quote unquote frowned upon or its normal to see that in society however when africanamerican families adopt a white check out we get a lot of backlash from both communities from the black community saying well why dont you adopt a black check out there are so many black chow that Needs Children that need care and then we get it from the asians i will why dont you leave this white baby and in a white family you know so its been its been wow. Whats it like being raised outside of your culture whats been the impact on your life. Well its a lot of impact when i frame that question wrong side of your culture im assuming what your culture what is your culture like i just loaded that question with the. Right assumption. Thats ok yeah im a black woman proudly and i was raised completely outside of my culture and i think to adam up here was saying what she means when she says other way around is that for white parents for my parents for example they i was always met with people running up to them saying what a great thing youve done how wonderful that youve adopted this child and i can understand from p. S. Perspective she gets the complete opposite but it was my childhood as well a my parents are fantastic but i was raised in racial homogeny and so that really leads to a lot of tokenism and a lot of me just automatically being the educator just by walking through the world every day people are always curious about where i came from how i got there wanting to touch my hair or wanting to put their hand skin up against my brown skin and that was just the norm and to grow up in that presence difficulties not just for me trying to figure out what does blackness mean for me because i didnt have any representation but it also creates this strange. It was like i had White Privilege by assonance this is how i felt that i was accepted it because i had white parents next to me but it all changed when i went to college and left the home and all the sudden im just a black person and i went to a predominantly black. College and university and so are predominantly White College and so people around are like i dont understand rate has this college where you hear that kind of thing even though thats what i grew up with and thats what i knew. Were getting some you tube comments in here ones from tiffany eunice this is nicoles book was amazing she articulated. She articulated things ive experienced as trans racial adoptee it was amazing so youre really speaking to people out there nicole i want to bring in a voice from our community this is in a yates and shes a foster mom is about to go through it with a trans racial. And the foster parents living and health care from kona who i eat in the middle of a change a short option and a white van i have felt horrible and killed in the cold before mary felt ill that i was reading another womans child. See heres the thing with adoption is that the number one i think the number one concern is is the child safe and are they healthy and will through them can navigate through the water instead of 3 and as why perry and its our responsibility is simple superconscious all our efforts towards their heritage and towards the city. The coal the coal what kind of advice would you give him to their. Its hard to you know i never feel super qualified to give advice but i can say you know when i talk to people who are considering transitional adoption and overwhelmingly who i hear from are white parents who are considering adopting across racial lines i mean the 1st thing that i usually suggest they do is take a good hard look at their community and by that i dont just mean the town or the city that they live in i mean like look at their neighborhood look at the schools that their kids would go to if theyre part of Community Organizations or religious organizations take a look at those and ask yourself you know what kind of environment would this be if i were bringing a child of color into it with they find mirrors what they find any peers who look like them with they find role models and friends who look like them and i think that is like not by no means the only question but one question with one place to start and then the other thing i would say is that we hear a lot more in transitional adoption these days about like honoring a childs heritage and celebrating and i think thats all to the good i think its a Great Development and there are more opportunities certainly than there were like when i was growing up i think a lot of families gravitate toward these things because theyre fun and like they can be a lot of. For like the childs culture of origin maybe like the music the food but what i found is that of course its like a lot harder to have those like those conversations about race and about White Privilege and about White Supremacy like in this country just the way that it permeates our culture its a lot less fun to talk about we know from studies that a lot of white parents dont talk with like their biological kids about race or racism quite enough whereas often parents of color sort of have to. You know so i think like being able to have those harder conversations knowing those are coming and being like just as ready to do that as you are to celebrate the childs culture its just a couple places that i generally start if you look you could say a lot about this but those are kind of the 1st 2 things. What i want to enjoy you actually do counsel people in these issues right and we have a couple more questions from our you tube audience that is. Do you feel comfortable claiming your racial slash ethnic identity even though you were raised outside of the culture and another one how did your adoptive parents talk to you about race and differences what was that conversation like interval. Oh yeah i definitely feel comfortable as a black woman now and i definitely identify strongly that way. I think the one thing though going back to the quiz question is. There are many white people who choose to adopt or foster children of color and as nicko said its really important to look at your community and seeing you know if there is racial diversity where then but another question that i have i ask him i still think about why hasnt there been an ever city in your family in your life before you chose to adopt a child that it can see oh really. Like a big burden on asked if parents are only coming to think about racism and start these conversations because. It has they got asked so thats one thing i think that my parents dead well which was. Eyeless not them protest for them to learn about their own witness and their White Privilege that they have an interest in cultures across the board before i came and they were also very aware of their position out of the and why it was such that that they could adopt me and send a black family and that that was rooted in White Supremacy i was really grateful that they were that that was kind of the foundation because it allowed me to ask questions without them feeling defensive questions like why didnt the black family adopt me why were the choices so slam and so then we were talking about how their institutional racism is baked into Child Welfare as well and i was really comforting for me. Not in the sense of understanding my blackness my back and then again but in a sense of understanding why but shipped across the country to be raised by this white strangers. Curious as a peer what kind of conversations you have with your white son about race in america i imagine explaining whiteness in america that youre so must be trying to explain like what water is to a fish abuses is a different kind of conversation and. Yeah you know well right now my son is 3 years old so hes really you know not understanding anything other than we are his parents however my has been he is a Police Officer and with everything going on with you know protests and all of these things it becomes increasingly difficult to try to talk to our biracial children our. Africanamerican daughter about racism without our son who is 3. You know kind of joining in on the conversation he says hes very intelligent in so i can imagine the conversations that im going to have with him when he is getting ready to say in kindergarten and we walk him in a class on the the 1st day as africanamerican parents and in when we run into these things because i do have a 3rd grade son whos biracial whos run into. If youre my racial then why do you have 2 black parents and hes only in the 3rd grade in so kids are to be very observant but very cruel is whale and you know go on back to something that angela say it which was make sure that your children are educated and you know Race Relations in conversations because it can make an increasingly difficult situation for trans racial adoptees when they are in these classroom situations. Like that ill go to my computer here and show a stat this is how long babies wait in foster care by race and after the american babies dont ever say 39. 4 months compared to white babies which is really about half of that q i know you talked about this in the preview that i read this. About the adoptive assistance keep can you kind of explain that story in the way that went down. Yes so you know i was 19 when i 1st started this whole thing that chien and my biracial son when he was adopted he was also part of a sibling group but as we all know if youre biracial most at a time you consider africanamerican by those that really dont understand it just look at your stand and it was told to me by a prosecutor supervisor at the time when i was adopting my husband and i were adopting our car kazans and that he would not qualify for adoptions assistance and you know luckily and thank god we didnt need the assistance however i wanted to know why so i question her whoa you know when we adopted our biracial son he he received adoptions assistant so whats the difference and she said oh you know well hes under 3 and hes caucasian and he had in end blond hair and so i would not have a problem with placing him and i was just on the floor like also you guys are on a star system and with the way that you you know a place children for adoption and its unfortunate that africanamerican children are in the foster care system in most of the time they age out without ever being adopted and its also unfortunate that it is a star system where our cation children are more likely to be adopted then children of color we actually have a caucasian mom kim there brunton her community who sent us this video. When it comes to the issue of White Privilege in raising 2 black children as a white person its complicated because right now when theyre young they are protected kind of in a bubble of my way privileged when we go out and about together but i know that it will not always be this way especially as they get older and so we do a lot of talking about these issues we talk about racism in america we talk about the realities of being a black person in america how we teach them to be proud of who they are and to live fearlessly. And these things are hard to talk about and its heartbreaking to expose them to the realities of these issues in this country and its necessary because im hoping that what were teaching them today will help them survive as they get older and on the back of that we have a comment from someone in our community kelly less than you 2 right now as a white adoptive period tell can i respond to the inappropriate questions in public like where she from or here touches such or to a fur my daughter. Yeah. And so i find it so important that we center at doppies and that adoptive parents often are kind of creating in shaping the narrative where in reality it for me it was really important to learn at an early age how i wanted to respond to those interests of questions that everyone asked and so my parents we did a little bit of role play before i went to school early and so when people ask me where is your real parents i had a pat answer ready and my answer in Elementary School was like i have pinched my mom before and she says our so i know she is real it is really good she really age appropriate and it. Has succeeded in the goal of just taking the pressure off of me over explain or to let people in on some of my private details that are maybe didnt want to share that its important for us as adoptees to figure out how can we answer peoples questions without telling them our whole history you know i was born here and then banned in there and its like theres a phenomenon called narrative burden which means that we are sharing our truths because of peoples kind of entitled curiosity graviton sharing our trees because we actually want you so those intrusive questions you know where they from instead of saying whatever it may be i was abandoned under a bridge you know and so then i got adopted and then i ended up in this state and i met the school now instead of doing that i was able to have left this pat answer so then when i went home i can talk to my parents and you know someone asked me this question again and suppressed. But i didnt have to do that like on the spot because when youre in Elementary School and all you want to do is spit n and it its hard enough. I think i have one related to kim who was basically talking about how she. Talks to her kids a lot about race i was recently working with a teenage trans racial adoptee and she was telling me about how when her her white parents talk to her about racism within america she feels like they do it in an apologetic way like. You know im so sorry that youre going to have to deal with this but this is the reality and very kind of sad about it and this transformational adopted teen went to one of her friends houses a black friend who has black parents who is not adopted and those parents were talking to both of them about policing in america and those parents were doing it and just in fact way that was not apologetic and she came away feeling like our parents equipping me well enough because she saw the stark differences and how how these 2 people were talking to their kids and i think its rooted in the fact that white parents just dont know what its like to be black you can never know and so there are some pieces that i think need to be outsourced and that a black person whos lived it has to talk to that black generation. In order to really get the point across the color see you nodding over there that. Its all. Im just kind of thinking about how you know i was relating to a little bit of what angela said im obviously not black but i grew up in a really White Community i was actually the only korean person i knew until i left home for college so i would just think about how much i would have really like to have other Asian Americans and korean americans that i was close to growing up because that would have been maybe an opportunity to have some of those talks with people who share my background and also consider teach me how to be emphatic and to be proud of it and to understand kind of what it meant like i think one issues that certainly not all but like a lot of about these who grow up in a white families a White Communities do grow up in this kind of racial and cultural isolation where they may not have access to people like that i was just thinking like agreement with angela sounded like a very powerful. Powerful conversation that this was adoptee got to have with his friends parents and i started to have those experiences like in college and. Actually with some of my my College Friends families and you know and have had more experiences like that with my birth family as ive gotten older but it was sort of late in coming. I think to about like what it means for even white parents who live in very Diverse Communities to kind of if theyre not already if they dont already have a diverse circle of friends or community if theyre looking to like you know like of endless of the kind of outsource some of those conversations you know how how are they going to try to gain access is it going to be in a way thats like. You know like very like respectful of those communities and those people involved thats another another question that i have because ive definitely also been that transitional it up that like what parents who have obviously very few or no friends of color go to for reassurance and to tell them its going to be ok like youre going to be fine and to give advice and you know i mean i think you also to think about how youre really going to do to have those conversations as parents how youre going to approach if you if you know what. There its transitional it up these are just like other people who share your childs backgrounds. You know what are those conditions going to be like and again its ideal if youre not just starting that after youve adopted transitionally. Here i see you nodding on that what were you thinking over there. Yes you know definitely Representation Matters it is it is one of the most important things. How i mean is as it relates to trade racial adapt i feel im not an adoptee so you know i cant relate in the end but are raising cultures i definitely get a lot of questions from parents asking about Different Things they can do in order to keep their children connected to their culture. Whether its taking your chat with barbershop where theyll get that exposure or you know getting them a book by an africanamerican author or korean off their you know let me give you less than 30 seconds left the show is on this topic i love where youre putting this to about getting educated all of my guests today are on social media you theyre raising cultures or. That through pod casting through books you can find them there and i think thats a key to this really is getting educated and having a conversation about this it started writing about the story. Thats for being with us well see you tomorrow. Or in. The. 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