Hatred, anger, they said something to each other, but mostly she has her own character, because this is many years, and over time pashka has become completely different, he has become softer, he has become wiser and he loves her very much, what happened to you such that mom is worried that you dont communicate, and we have a breakup. A very long time ago, i internally forgave, well, well, probably, like a father, he, he, he forgave, but never forgot, but it doesnt just happen that people stop communicating with loved ones, what there must be some resentment in order not to talk for so many years, he didnt offend me, he, well, it was on my birthday in odessa, for example, my fortieth birthday, with a word he offended someone close to me, a dear person, but he, apparently. Understands everything that he did something wrong, he doesnt remember, i think, this, hes definitely worried, he even knew that you would come to us, i really asked you to give me a message, can i show it to you, yes please, dad knew perfectly well, that we dont communicate with my sister, he regretted it, probably regretted it, we communicate with her through my mother, so i absolutely know what s going on in her family, whats going on, she knows 100 whats probably going on with me, we are hottempered people, we can. Catch fire in a second, i always, if im aggressive , then outwardly, yes, you can say too much in this heat and this and that, well, then once you calm down everything, and your conscience immediately begins to torment you, you immediately begin to think, damn it, why did i do this, we are not conflict people ourselves to myself, well, it happens, well, the only hope is that its simply necessary, i dont even doubt that. Well definitely make peace there someday, well talk, well, not now, then later, lord, nothing personal, veronique, what kind of grandfather was for you, i probably already saw that period when grandfather was still at home a lot, he spent time with me , again, i also grew up on cruises, on these ones, we spent a lot of time there. Together, my grandfather took me to the circus, he took me to theaters, to a sanatorium, i went with my grandmother and grandfather, the three of us, that is, i directly remember our time together, he wanted you to become an artist, i think that he would not want , to one of us became an actor, an artist, an actress, in the case of my mother, unfortunately, she was not allowed to become an actress, but i wanted, yes, yes, i, right from childhood, i studied, i strived, i was constantly on stage, in student and school, and danced and walked, practiced speech, but my parents didnt give it, they didnt give it, my mother didnt give it, she said that this is not a profession for a woman, this is not a family, not children, specifically not for a woman profession, because my brother was allowed to film yarolash there, then go somewhere else, he has a different appearance, she told me, well look at yourself, youre small, well. This, well, apparently, is the best profession for a woman, so i graduated from the medical stage, in the student theater, in kvn, we played, staged plays, well, thats how i graduated from medical School Institute arkadiyevich, what is the phenomenon of this artistic onelove, after all, both kartsev and ilchenko, like this, all their lives, their one beloved, each, found someone to surprise. i lived with one wife for 61 years, thats why im asking you, do you know exactly what the secret is, i think its because she, unfortunately, left 2 years old, me. I think this is her wisdom, you know, not mine, im lazy, i could even go our separate ways if there was something she, she somehow wisely didnt Pay Attention to all these people hovering around, she calmly took myself all household, two children, everything, i left to study at vgik from kharkov, i left parttime, she was left alone in kharkov, an engineer, today, thank you, i was very pleased to see you, i thank you, i admired your strength of character, undoubtedly, and you look fantastic, tatyanavna, its really incredible the feeling that somehow this is what feeds both victoria pallovna and tatyana dinovnina, the love that has been there for so many years, thank you very much, thank you, thank you, thank you. That they remembered, its nice, thank you, Mikhail Zadornov has been on stage for more than 30 years and joked about the most important thing, about you and me, who can laugh at ourselves like that, but only ours, about relations with western countries, and if we are all in russia in cash lets chip in dollars, we ll rent america and. Other things, the world was changing, but zadornov always remained relevant, we have collected the most complete collection of the best issues of the legendary satirical writer. Take care of the americans, if something happens to them, they will start making things up about us again. And well start with a monologue from the distant nineties, but which is still relevant today, because zadornov made eternal jokes. I used to think that i dont understand anything about us, i said, i dont understand this, the third one, now i understand, its they in the west who dont understand anything about us, right . Look, the germans are neat, professional, reliable, they understand why they are thin, we are twice as thick as them, but they send us humanitarian aid, the arms race with us, they somehow endured, but no one can endure friendship with us, they dont have enough money to. Be friends, but the americans turned out to be the most incomprehensible, when the truth is about some other country, here the americans understand everything, they will give some country a loan and then squeeze this small country to the state of dried fruit, all countries listen to the americans as a commercial racket of racketeers, with russia its not clear that he gave money to russia and what, let alone with interest. There are more American Cash dollars than in america, they are surprised, they say, how is it possible, in america we dont have so many cash dollars, why . Thats why its not because we have them, and if we all chip in cash in dollars in russia, well rent america. For that kind of money, clinton will work as a lawyer on the border. The question is, who is whose appendage, are we theirs or are they ours . They think that we are theirs, let them think so, they dont understand how we russians differ from others peoples other peoples of the world pretend to be smart, they havent read our folk tales, but with the most misunderstandings in the west were the former antisoviet radio stations, they taught us all the time, you need a multiparty system, we proclaim everything, you need it get it, now they themselves dont understand, how many parties we have, as they are called, they dont understand how. We understand something about them, but they dont understand that we are not going to understand anything about them, we are interested in watching them like horses at a race, but we know for sure about ourselves, we have there are two parties, those who grabbed it and those who didnt. They are trying to understand something about us, the institute was created to study zhirinovskys election campaign, but they dont understand how he won the elections, how people joked, it was sunday, people were in a good mood, they wanted to slip a pig to the democrats. Tyutchev was right when he wrote about our relationship with america, you cant understand russia with your mind, and especially with a computer, clinton is tall, handsome, smart, he comes all the time , he teaches us all the time, you need this, then that, then after this, this after that, she or he just nods his head, of course, we ll do that, how smart you are, damn clint. Well do it, just give us loans, otherwise we re poor, hungry, damn it, clinton, when we re beggars, were scary, oh, well trample on you, give us loans, we still have nuclear warheads, oh, were scary, damn hungry with heads wedge, and the whole world doesnt understand what to do with the russians . Doesnt understand because bismarck should have been read. Bismarck wrote before his death, never. Bismarg was a smart german because he lived in st. Petersburg for a long time. He wrote in his will never dont plot anything against russia. Russia will always respond to any of your cunning with its unpredictable stupidity. Only in russia the concept of homeland and state are different concepts. A colony that needs to be fed, all countries were plundered, we have our own indians, our siberian ones, there are udeges, nanais, no one ever drove them into reservations, and we are aggressive, there was such a bishop, a christian, he read the bible in nanai, translated it into nanai language, koryak to koryak, can you imagine an american conquistador, a spanish one . Who is reading out the bible, this never happened, thats why they say the development of siberia, but the conquest of america, yes, they said, if you want to be baptized, be baptized, whoever you want to be, they said, chukhch, vasily, we will be, if you dont want, you will be fedor, we did not execute women at the stake, how aggressive we are, we didnt live in life, thank god, our dads were womanizers all their lives and. But now you look, here i am on the beach in riga. I see a woman walking, i immediately see what nationality she is, such a beautiful, slender woman, all eyes, inquisitive eyes, so lively, tenacious for everyone they look at the men, what kind of glasses, uh, what kind of swimming trunks, at the sight of her the men tuck up their bellies, this, this russian woman is coming, shes also beautiful, her eyes are sluggish, sluggish, latvian, thats it, western. What did he answer me, you attacked against the swedes near poltava, okay, but how did they end up there, you can answer me, these six countries were formed as antirussian, so aggressive, which came under the influence of america, america seems to treat us well now, these are poland, latvia, lithuania, estonia, ukraine, georgia, six countries, large six, nato members, they did not receive the same education as we did in soviet times, they, they do not know the difference, an estonian, there, a russian lithuanian, you know how our businessmen send their children to england to study, they write in the preword in a cool language in rider, dont put my son there with a russian for anything, because if there are two russian children in school, the whole school will speak russian, this is crazy energy for russian children, estonians to me. Only the russians are innumerable tourists come, having drunk all their money to the store in venice and ask where can you donate blood . Our features, they are similar anyway, in none of these countries anyway, people dont answer the question, this is purely slavic, i ask the waitress if the yogurt is fresh, she says pear, i want to warm up our person first, and then start talking, so give it to the forehead, then start talking, because this is only a russian person, running into the bus, and having caught up with him, jumping on it, he says what number is this . With dumbfounded eyes half a bus, and the devil knows, this is in all our countries, in all in our countries, people have the same balconies, you know, we are one people, just remember what is on your balconies, these people cannot live well as long as they have this on their balconies, but do you know what we have . On the balconies, everything, everything that didnt fit in a large apartment, and the woman applauds it, yes, i like it that way, almost everything, wait, quiet, quiet, let me guess, skis, old, old, some have one ski, one , you ask why you need it, he says, just in case, what. You might have any case, what are you, when if youre traveling as a disabled person, theres a chain from a 25yearold bicycle next to you, just in case, there are potbellied threeliter cans on the chain, they say cucumbers, theres mushrooms, ours never have the same inscription as whats inside, never, stockings, socks, a case of war, what kind of war, are you going to throw off this refrigerator, or what . Everything is dusted with tights, our people never throw away tights if they are worn out on top, they cut them off and wear them like socks, women wear tights if they wear out underpants. And one woman says to me im old tights i never throw them away, in the garden i pull them on eggplants, on eggplants, i say you made eggplant caviar for me, is this the result . She says no, you didnt understand me, this is so that the crows dont peck, because crows, ill tell you a secret, they cant stand the smell of worn tights. Thats it, they fly away and never return to the garden, even the children of these crows do not return, this is already in the dna memory of these tights, apparently we really wont be able to live well in the near future, some program went wrong when foreigners come to us, but if they dont know russian, its fine for them, if they know, they cant understand anything at all, the customs officer asks the foreigners in front of me for frances parlev. Question, now i will teach you how to do this, i am a complete optimist, i realized this while walking in the forest one day, such a difference, a pessimist asks the question how long to live, cuckoos, optimist guys. I am the head of the leninsky district administration, valentin sergeevna, here are some sweets, here are some flowers, do you like dahlias . No, who doesnt love it . How did you end up here . A its like you got through to a direct line, you looked at me so sternly from the tv, and mukhtar was actually walking with me. Kvn, First Quarter final. Watch the time after the program. Actually, we were preparing for a regional music competition, our school should win. And who is this . Why am i seeing this for the first time . She is an excellent student. Im liberated. What did you sit for . Stearsman bourbon is a product of the stellor group. Whiskey. Mancatcher is a product of the stellar group. сnop gin, a product of the stellar group. Cognac monte shoca, a product of the stellar group. Rum. Castro, product of steller group. This is the liver, friends, this is where the gallbladder is located, something from the life of the gallbladder, important and. Yes, this is a mulya, tell me, you are ranevskaya, yes i am ranevskaya, i havent experienced anything in my own skin, the war passed her by , look at this face, exceptional, there are many great directors, but there can be only one great meeting, ill make a call, come to me, they love you, a serious, smart man, and youre making faces, from monday on the first one, happy birthday to someone leo nikolaevich tolstoy. One day, georgian archaeologists dug up an ancient cannonball, after which georgia warned russia that it also had nuclear weapons. In general, with georgia, such interesting situations arise all over the world. You know, in america there is a state of georgia. Georgia in english georgia. Recently , georgian events have been shown a lot in world news programs. The americans have no connection, no connection, they knew that they had the state of georgia, but did not know that it was so far away, but the georgians are now so interesting, they are doing everything if only, not like in russia, okay, wow, they say, georgians, wow, this is amazing, such a temperamental wow has never been seen in the world, and most importantly, they celebrate all holidays, american holidays, its sacred to them, halloween, oh , from which people get upset with humor, as i should treat this, then its easier, for example, russian tv channels were turned off in georgia, because according to saakashvili, russian tv presenters are spies through the tv screen. Where will i be put on trial, this is america, why did i say the word blacks, this is so funny history, they have introduced the so called political correctness, the word negro is considered not political, impolite, insult, interesting. Snow white, the disney cartoon, was banned from being shown on all American Television channels, none of you, even the most educated, will guess why, all the dwarves are white, its not politically correct, they are now remaking snow white, its normal, yes, one dwarf will be mexican. Two on the artaricans, and i advise them to make snow white a black woman, this will be a brilliant interpretation of snow white, why do i talk so much about america and talked so much, but because i dont want us to grow into such spiritual fat, i didnt want to talk about america anymore, i wanted to throw out this topic, but something happened that i didnt expect , our people come up to me on the streets, come up. In shops, on planes, they say, i ll tell you something about america now, and they tell me things that are impossible not to retell, im proud that thanks to me there are fewer jokes about the chukchi appear, the chukchi say, take care americans, if something happens to them, they will start making things up about us again, its just that some kind of game has started, emails come to me, they just give me pleasure, i cant. Retell what people tell me or what i comes by email, the girl studies in new york, at an american institute, she is from corelia, when American Students find out that she is from corelia, they tell her you dont look like a korean, the guy studies in baltimore, sent me an email, me American Students were annoyed with the question is it possible to get to russia from baltimore . Can you get there by car . I already say that it is possible, then they ask how long it takes. Ski instructors in austria in the alps told me that when americans call and ask if you have snow in the alps, they tell you yes, good cold weather, come, americans after a pause often ask the question what about kangaroos in your country . This time . Austria, they confuse sweden with switzerland, this has already been noticed in the world, and a couple i know is studying in los angeles, one day they went to dinner with an american couple, and they asked them. Tell me, is russia bigger than los angeles . Our people say it with pride, of course, but they thought about it and asked you again, is it possible to take los angeles and its suburbs . Well, ours say, well, it will be about the same somewhere, because ours can no longer seriously answer this question. Our former professor from novosibirsk sent me an email. Novosibirsk is a city of soviet scientists, it is a surprisingly high city in terms of education. Here is a scientist, one of ours, who went to denver to work in a computer center, and he writes an email to me i didnt believe what you were telling me, i thought you were making fun of me, but after spending 2 years here, among the american professors, i also couldnt stand it and decided to make fun of me, and so he describes me, what further happened, i asked one of my colleagues, an american professor, how much is 2 2 2, so you giggle, and by the way, i say with pride, we perform in. Countries, i noticed that only in russian halls there are some people who know the correct answer to this question, because that they received a fairly powerful education, and they know that first multiplication is carried out according to the rules, that is, the answer is six, the american professor answered eight, ours said six, the american said eight, but he is the main one on earth, he is an american, ours said six. Says 8 6 8 6 two professors are arguing, a very intellectual argument, the american couldnt stand it, hes the first to say, lets check for. The exact toast, he thought the americans would laugh, now, im telling the toast, have you been paying attention , gentlemen, for one fact historical that columbus discovered america, but america was not named after him, but the reason is this 200 years before columbus, america was conquered by our uzbek emir, he became very friendly with the indians, when he sailed away, the indians saw him off with tears in their eyes , but he didnt tell them what to call them, they shouted to him at the stern of the ship, what to call you, so that we pray for you, and he shouted to them from the stern, my name is ibn said, yes kefir, abdurashlyeb abdurrahman there and so on, well, in general, the whole song has a chorus, and the indians, so what . We wont remember, we are indians, we have small heads, you are shorter, but there is such a word in central asia aka, aka this is a very respectful, respectful word in relation to the one to whom he is addressing, this is the elder gentleman, this. Its you who laugh, this is how the word america appeared, it was you who laughed, and the uzbeks also laughed in this company, only the americans did not laugh, the American Ambassador rummaged through reference books for a week. Not a single good word has come from the word west, a trap zapadlo, you know, there is an amazing russian expression, you all know it, but not everyone, perhaps, understands its meaning, learn the mind, the mind, the mind and the mind must be in harmony, what is the mind, the mind is europe, it is the west, it is smart, the mind is a machine, and the mind is the driver of this car, if the driver is bad, a disaster is inevitable, so they live smart from disaster to disaster, and the east is the mind, but without a car, so he cant even earn money, the east, all indian Homeless People all over the east, only the slavic peoples can become a bridge between mind and reason if they develop rational thinking without losing creative thinking, because asia, asia. We are eurasia, what is the meaning of the word asia . The basics and i, and europe are the jews iopa, this does not mean that we have nothing to learn from europe, intellect, yes, but not intellect, why dont we learn from them, for example, to install the correct plumbing in our houses, they always have it wrong tap with cold water, how did they achieve this, cold water flows, well, what do they not have. The end is holy on earth, but the human mouth must be continued, the russians will survive, the masai and the chukchi, the americans will not survive, they have the electricity went out in the supermarket in new york, there was panic, screams, terrorists, in belgorod a year ago the electricity went out in the supermarket. No terrorist screams, 10 seconds of complete silence, and slurping, slapping hands, remove your little hands, i took it already, when the light turned on, the sausage loaf was lying in the right place, bitten on four sides by different teeth, everyone noticed that when the light turned on , the supermarket somehow turned into a minimarket right away, and even among our people, thanks to our magical magic language, you know, what is especially developed is a sense of humor, i generally believe that with humor we are restoring the National Idea of russia, that we are some kind of person who knows how to laugh at himself like that, well, only ours, because our man is in trouble, he laughs , oh, listen, they took the wheels off my car, and hes laughing. Yes, can you imagine, theyre all different, one from volga, one from kamaz, two from zaporozhets, everyone around is laughing, i was, i was in india with a group, in this group there was a kid, such a buddy, he went to the elephants enclosure to take a photo , elephants are very this he doesnt like it, i warn you, dont do this, well, as a result, he ended up in intensive care, i come to visit him, i ask the indian doctors, tell me, how is he doing, theres something strange with him, he says, i say hes laughing. In intensive care he wants them, you know, i say, this is normal, i come to him, he says listen, well, i specifically, the first time i got hit in the head with a trunk, our sense of humor is our saving inclination, with humor you can solve what cannot be solved seriously, and an example of this, categorically and most concretely, is the polish border with belarus, two of our crossing the border, the poles are holding ours, the poles really dont like tourists, in general from the former soviet union, someone shouts at a pole customs officer, someone says ill complain, nothing helps, it only delays them even more, one solved the problem, with humor, he approached the poles, many of them still remember the russian language, they asked, the question was so unexpected that, of course, this pole customs officer was stunned, the lord knows when the germans attacked poland, he says, yes, but what in the thirtyninth year, second question, made him sad . Customs in poland, we still have something left in us, he says no, ours says, they were registering for something that is terrible to lose, only our man can but. Go out of town, climb a rock above the river to drink tea with thyme in the moonlight, only our young guy can quit his job on december 31st because his shift fell on new years eve, only our guy can swindle a purchase for an amount three times the cost of this purchase, only our guy can go out drinking all night and convince him that were with. Idiots and punch him in the face when he agrees. Kalmykia is called the birthplace of the wind; it is so strong here that many centuries ago it turned part of the land into a desert. In kalmykia they say that there is only two winds, six months east and six months west. How many arrows should a kalmyt warrior be able to shoot in one minute . At least 22 arrows, we will shoot at the kalmyk, that is, from the ring, let go, every family used to have a camel, where exactly the camel lay down, they tried. Build huts and dig wells, because the camel feels the water. How can she show her dissatisfaction . Their lives. Premiere, tomorrow on the first. Vodka, pechora, product of stellar group. Vodka veta, a product of stellor group. Cognac oldb. Product of stellar group. Bourbon stirsman is a product of stellar group. Mancacher whiskey is a product of the stellar group. Three chords, new season. Tomorrow, after the evening news. It will be hot, what, where, when, summer series of games. Tomorrow, after the program time. As a result, our children suffer. Poor fellows brought up by modernization, innovation, internetization, they know nothing about life, nothing. About nature, mushrooms cannot be found in the forest, only in yandex. Dosynovik found it, they dont distinguish chanterelles from toadstools, wolfberries from blueberries, they will end up in the forest, they will get poisoned, they will get lost, if they dont have a gps navigator, they will look for which tree stump to insert a flash drive into, they are afraid of nature oh animal world, they know from scarecrows and hollywood horror stories, they believe that every mosquito is a mosquito, they run away from mosquitoes, they run away from spiders, they think that ants can eat people that Drinking Water from a well will be harmful due to allergies, they go into the forest in nature wearing gauze bandages, either to prevent a microbe from entering the forest into the mouth, it doesnt matter, clearly, a microbe does not get into the mouth, or to prevent an ant from crawling in spite of themselves, they dont know how to plant a flower, they dont know how to make a fire, apply plantain if they get hurt, because they dont know. What does a plantain look like, if one of your friends hits, falls, his nose will bleed, as in that old joke, he will put a tourniquet on his neck, how will they live, how will they explain that if you want to be happy, you have to live according to the laws of nature, you have to live according to legal laws, but so as not to be imprisoned, they dont know that if the sun sets in the water, wait for good weather, they dont even know that the sun doesnt wait for in the morning, when the pet screams. He believes that mold can climb through the window into the house at night and strangle the sleeping people, i had the opportunity to visit the usuriysk, well, the usuriysk region with young people, there in the foothills of the sikhata olimya we went on a hike, girls, here these city dwellers zipped up their tents at night, set up suitcases so that the bear doesnt get into the rooms, i tell them, magazines on top. In the language, not in english, because the word revenge, i talked about this, but i will repeat it, means its eating me, if you take revenge, it will eat you too, the word prelude means you fell in love with a guy, the word gluttony means pleasing worms, feeding sheets, they dont know that you cant swear in a public place, why . Because if you deprive your sex chakra of energy, you can become impotent. You cant swear with the names of your reproductive organs, its sacred, you can use them you can only admire the sunset, the sunrise, but dont swear, they know this young people, because the new version of the word program does not highlight russian swear words in red, it emphasizes if the swear word has errors, its ours, you have to manage it, some swear words with an error. They write, this is blasphemy, how can you make a mistake in a word of three letters, our alphabet and that one were redrawn, ours was wonderful. Russian alphabet, even i found it in primers, now we have an alphabet, and b, in the state duma, this is what the alphabet is, this is writing in letters, sound writing, and what is the alphabet, this is different, each capital letter corresponded to an image, well, for example, the letter, what is a capital letter l . A man, a woman, are depicted as two vertical sticks, dashes, they are connected, a fontanel. The first sound and the child will come from space, these are fontanelles at the sexual level with the first sound of space, this is the first sound from which everything is born, so with this sound everything begins, the alphabet begins, hence the word basics, beginning, what is men and women love each other, united with fontanelles and more . At the earthly level d house, each, each capital letter corresponded to the image of the word, well , a man stands firmly on the ground, with his arms outstretched, this is a solid state, there remains just a letter, i. E. There is no more meaning in it, except for the transfer of information, b. Pregnant woman. And if you read our alphabet according to this image, you will get a message from our wise ancestors on. Feels much more, in my opinion, i am expressing my point of view, we have much more energy and feeling, and we are not but the russian person is different in that it is calculated for the west, but this is our grandiose, i generally believe that the west hates russians for this, because it cannot understand us, cannot understand, it is insanely jealous because they are coded. But we havent yet, and if the revival, in my opinion , begins, it will begin with russia, with our feelings. Hello, the program is on air, Ekaterina Andreeva is in the studio, the main event of the day. Arkhangelskaya is ours, a new liberated settlement of the donetsk peoples republic, how the village was taken, our soldiers tell us. Be one step ahead