Some half a liter, some fried chicken, some eggs, some everyone they want to have a drink with papanov, i mean, im yelling into this very megaphone, they didnt give a damn, but then theres no police, how to deal with them, anatoly sword takes the megaphone and in highquality, selective russian, explains everything to them, thunder erupts applause, motorboats roared, they all walked away, it grew into some kind of legend, this is how papanov covered the local population, but how he communicated with colleagues in ordinary life, like a big star or like, you know, the thing is that i didnt know her before, but i had a parallel and because hes doing some kind of satire of his own in the theater, i think that this is a person with reliable humor, such an anecdote, a vesenchak, nothing under. Concentrated, i would say , even a little chaotic person, bookish, he is closed, smart, focused, intellectual, since he means that somehow, some kind of cloud passed, some kind of state in nature, he says, he blissfully visited the whole world, her moments are fatal , tishchevs line, i remembered, i say, lets insert it into the picture. Got surrounded, fled, came out to our people alone, then its clear, 10 years of defeat in civil rights, blessed is he who visited this world, his moments are fatal, why i didnt want to do tests, i didnt want them to know each other, so they punched through. Sat in the bullpen, this fear was enough for me for the whole the rest of my life, so i have this human experience, then when people nearby disappeared, these are comrades and fellow soldiers, this happened, every time i thought that it could be me, this is the property of not only a great artist, this is the property of a very large personality, so accept everything, yourself, the nature of this talent is in great sympathy, the ability to sympathize with someone elses pain, someone elses misfortune, you really want to live like a human being, work, yes, yes, work, an amazing person, amazing, you know, there are actors who express their time, but there is. A unit of exception, which is for all times, which, so to speak, expresses some kind of mental code of the nation, thats. Only i sucked the fucking mines, he licked the spoon, but didnt have time to take a drop, but in the war there was a day without deaths , there was never a day, you couldnt see enough, how much time had passed, that damn mess stood before your eyes, well, at least die, yes. That s how it happens in life, but these are stills from the film, the hero actually speaks, and not anatoly popanov himself, but there was its also a story that a fellow soldier, his comrade in arms, died, and here its as close as possible to his own memories, well, yes, at the front, in his company there was this alek rafaevich, they only met there, allik rofaevich was also a moskvich and he. I studied at the Camera Department in gika, and dad wanted to be an actor, both were muscovites, then it turned out that they lived not far from each other, so they were very friendly, and then in one of the battles they kill rafaevich right before our eyes, when dad was already there quite was famous, his invited to television, and he told this episode, how his friend was killed, and alek rafaevichs mother accidentally watched it, found our phone number, i myself was a witness, she came to us and dad told how they were friends, his last days, and where in general he died, she was so grateful, because they told her that he was missing, but in general he told you about those years often, never, well, may 9 was really a big holiday for us, he put on some of his ordinas, he was often invited to the kremlin for to the ceremonial meeting. My grandmother gathered a table every may 9th, baked her signature pies with cabbage, well, that is, i dont remember if guests came, but our whole family gathered, may 9th is a holiday, a big holiday, the novel by doctor zhivag in the original version of pasternak is called there is no death, for death does not exist for a person gifted with creativity, especially since this phenomenon of cinema is, well, 27 years old. Little devil to the top, it happened in our country that it was at the novodevichy cemetery, many, many years later, that i was the last to speak a word before he was sent into the ground. Dads parents lived nearby on davatora street, this is the sports metro, and grandfather, dads father, often loved to walk around the novodevichy cemetery, and dad always did. I recalled various interesting things that he said there, and he says dad, what are you doing there at the navadevichy cemetery, he says tolya, you dont understand, such forces are buried there, forces, if only he knew that he would be later run, but where else is the nationality, yes, thank you very much for coming, y i have a whole flower shop here, thank you very much, thank you, it was very nice to talk to you, thank you very much, thank you, what a beauty, fresh. That we remember your wonderful parents, and today we talked to anato dmitrievich, papanov, a real hero of the great patriotic war, how since everyone , happy victory day on may 9, this holiday is always with us, and such wonderful people and examples, their courage, thank you, thank you very much. Mikhail zadornov has been on stage for more than 30 years. Good evening, dear ones. Ladies and gentlemen, former comrades, i apologize, you two are alone, but you are going to the same place, keep in mind, take a seat. To look at his attitude towards the chauvinist pushkin, he wrote without taking into account the Current International situation. And the prophecy of the legendary writer satirist. I have a very good feeling about our russia, it is not organized, it is not equipped, but there is a life of the soul in it. I usually do this kind of warmup to get the young people ready. Correctly in short phrases, such shortwave humor is needed at the beginning, you know, you are visiting me, visiting what the operative serves, at first, such a humorous operative, but today i think the best thing to do is to warm you up with predictions for the new next year, predictions for next year, the number of road accidents in russia will increase after driving tests begin to be carried out in the form. Unified state exam. Oh, you dont even need a warmup, to be honest, its the start of the year that gets to you. The ministry of education will make concessions to schoolchildren and will rename the unified state examination to the unified state examination. Unified state eg. The next phrase is very difficult. I want it to be very complicated right away, and indeed, i often say this if i dont i warn you that its difficult, few people react, but at least someone, they say, is a fool, or what . Wait, not this phrase, this program put forward by the president of russia, the program for the demolition of dilapidated housing, the demolition of dilapidated housing, will call into question the continued existence of russia, okay, it can warn you every time, then it will be even more complicated, corruption will disappear in russia, it will be renamed the police. Oh, already bravo, good, in fact, our rally has begun, now, in russia , an analogue of the ipad will be invented, it will be called ainefpopad, the phobos soil satellite will return to soil with samples of the soil of the satellite of mars, in the soil they will find cigarette butts, beer bottle caps, a note, sasha and katya were walking here, in full force. In the countries of north africa, this is also a complex phrase, so i will read it slowly; in the countries of north africa , a horror story will be published for arab children, which will begin with the phrase a black hand in a White House Presses the red button. but the russian bulava missile will be recognized in the United States as the most terrible weapon, since no one knows where it will fly and where it will explode. Not for you, but for me, i need to pronounce it somehow, america will refuse to provide guarantees, and not the direction of its missiles against russia, until russia provides a guarantee of the nondirection of its falling satellites glanas against the usa, ugh barely, 2016, with this phrase i im proud, however, they will find oil in england and france, and the United States will have doubts. And if the french decide to extract their own oil, they will be accused of violating human rights. In the struggle for peace, american peacekeepers have already torn several countries to pieces. Democracy has become an export item. And is taking over the world under the slogan that anyone who is against democracy will be shot. we trust you, lord, i really do, i want to draw peoples attention, here are some moments of our planetary life, they are nominated for the nobel prize for the invention of viagra, the gypsies, the gypsies and they realized that stealing horses now is not profitable, they became hackers, gypsy hackers, this is powerful. Estonian killers have appeared in estonia, the most reliable killers in the world, everyone dies from their rubles, some even by their own death, everything is mixed up, everything is mixed up, apparently they just dont have time its time to slow down, this pileton was written in the city of riga, i go there often, bush was supposed to come there, i wrote this for his arrival, and god, what did the latvians do there, i also once wrote such a grateful story. There were barbers sitting on all the rooftops, and if you meet bush, then you shouldnt wave your hand at him, just hold your hands like this, that means, because in case you shoot, dont put it in your pockets, and if you put it in, it itches, thats it, screw it up dont stick your head out, thats it, i also offered them this, you know, no allowing people to address bush, mr. Bush, this could be. Perceived as an invitation to drink, they say, bush or no bougie, in general , nationalists, i must tell you, are very funny, and latvians, i dont know, in general, as a result bush arrived in riga, there was no population, he thought that it was just a Nuclear Winter that had come, or everyone had died out altogether, no one, only there were snipers watching him from the rooftops, and he was also. Called bushs, because only latvians they translate surnames, well, they dont translate them, they pronounce them in latvian, here i am zadornovs there, putin will come, there will be putins, well, so long as its not like the russians, just to be in antagonism with russia, bush bushs, hes already a bush, here the bushes are in shabby numbers, you you know, i once knew netanyahu, the former Prime Minister of israel, he knows russian quite well, and he told me that he. And bush in general, this is interesting, of course it translates, you know, that george, georgia this is georgia in english, and bush is a bush, here is george bush, a georgian in the bushes, he later flew to georgia, bush, to georgia they are nato they brought the uniform, oh, and the georgians just want to show off something, this is the nato uniform, ho, these nato members, of course, are not very smart people, to put it mildly, they think that the army will be georgian, there will be a choir in the nato one. Georgia has never fought, it has always asked russia to fight for it. Diary of an american soldier, emails from the front. Email number one. Hello, dear, today is a holiday at our military base; we are flying to iraq. The command warned that the war would be very difficult, because it was very hot there. The guys say iraq is very far away, even further than mexico. And the sergeant generally claims that iraq is located in the very south of africa. But the colonel, who used to teach geography to High School Students in college, said the sergeant doesnt teach. And that iraq is not in southern africa, in northern india, and in the morning the president contacted us via pager, he explained that the iraqi leader does not want to share oil, this means he is against democracy, and now americas main duty is to bring democracy to the iraqis, since we the american people, the main peddlers of democracy in the world. The colonel said that our president is a very courageous man, since he dared to fight with a country only 20 times smaller. But we are all confident of an imminent victory, because we have the most modern weapons, antipersonnel diapers, only one thing we cannot understand is how to say it correctly, iran or iraq . And one more good news now you will see me quite often, dear, on tv, tv will show fights live, between the Television Series death by toothpick, the result of the show the effect of solar storms on cellulite in male californian tortoises, i promise you . During every battle , wave your hand, dont worry about me, i took sunscreen, emailed a second, hello, dears, we arrived in iraq, its really very hot here, apparently, this is not india after all, because the inhabitants they dont look like indians at all, but the colonel clarified to the command that the correct name for the country is iraq, but iran, it turns out, is such a radioactive substance, iran 238, the sergeant warned us that tomorrow at. Chemical defense. They look very nice on this is a ukrainian battalion that has arrived to fight background of the desert in its forest camouflage. Everyone is wearing green camouflage suits and has tree branches on their heads. The officers have hemp. So that they could be distinguished during the bombing, some estonians, lithuanians, latvians arrived behind them, the sergeant claims that these are tribes from American Reservations that are located in the rear of europe. However, these tribes are very kind, they sent humanitarian aid to iraqi children. Estonians two trucks with baby food, lithuanians four trucks with childrens clothes, and latvians, 200 trucks with latvian textbooks language. Email third, email third, today we took our positions for the first time, hostilities began , because the day before yesterday the iraqis treacherously fired at our plane, which was peacefully bombing their cities. The command terribly warned us that no one should surrender. The iraqi wars torture our people terribly, dont give them popcorn, take away our dvd players and prohibit them from using them. Floss for cleaning the interdental space, but we feel like heroes, they say the whole world has already responded to the war on cancer, Britney Spears is learning iraqi, madonna has grown a beard published a new book in bed with hussein, but the worst thing was that they gave us ukrainian gas masks, they smelled so much of lard and garlic that we decided it would be better to breathe in eprite and sarin, tell your son that dad. Because his helmet was spinning. The nurse wanted to give him an injection, but he sued her for sexual harassment. But the iraqis turned out to be barbarians, they dont know. Knocked him down with a hoe, the pentagon sued him for using an unauthorized weapon, the president asked the senate for 5 billion for antimatt protection and the antishovel doctrine, since the previous antisoviet doctrine is outdated, the fifth email, today is the worst day where you got lost. Field popcorn macdonalds, the advance of our tanks stopped, as the traffic lights near baghdad turned red. It turned out that these savages had ruined the traffic lights, we stood at the intersection until the evening. The sergeant claims that if there were no iraqis, we would have defeated them long ago. Journalists are asking us to pour it on the palms when we enter baghdad. So that they have enough light for filming. The only thing, we are forbidden to bomb the north of baghdad, since hollywood is filming an erotic thriller there about the capture of hussein, sex with hussein in the big city. Initially , arnold schwarzenegger, tom cruise, Julia Roberts and Macaulay Culkin were going to star in the role of hussein, but the fee was such that Saddam Hussein himself agreed to star. In desperation that the war will end soon, i wont get on tv, i began, dear, to wave at you in front of the camera with both hands, the journalists finally came to the rescue, unable to bear the smell of onions, iraqi troops fled the city, after which our the troops heroically entered it, email seventh, dear, you can congratulate us, thanks to the resourcefulness of the sergeant, we captured 34 husseins, this is 11 more husseins than the platoon next to us captured, and the ukrainians captured only eight husseins, of which two were women cat. All the husseins have now sent the dna of their ducks to the casting, its nice that our hussein took first place, the jury has established for sure that it is him, now they are establishing who he is, its just a shame that it seems that we fought in vain, endured all this deprivation, since Nuclear Weapons inspectors the un never discovered it, it turns out that no matter what Iraqi Nuclear scientists have been doing for the last 10 years, they have always produced marijuana. But the president sent us all a text message on our pager, he congratulated us all on the successful completion of the operation, he emphasized that we, america, are a peaceloving power, so we will not leave the world alone, and will soon take it to north korea to iran, the sergeant said, north korea is a lake in the pacific ocean, but they are not ready for war with us; fanta has not yet been brought there. Ps, evening of the same day, looting began in baghdad. On us unexpectedly attacked the ukrainian battalion of chemical defense, he tried to take away from us everything that we took from the iraqis, it turns out that the ukrainians are not paid wages at all, they said that if you get it in iraq, then so does yours, there were no such strong battles during the entire war, if i im not coming back, tell your son that his father was a real american. Heroic peddler of democracy. Cognac monte shoca, a product of the stellar group. Rom castro, a product of the stellar group. Vodka, veda, product of stellor group. Cognac. There was such hatred for everything russian, i thought, why . Firstly, apparently, because the great russian poet did not write in lithuanian, but in occupation russian. Secondly, this is the most important thing. I think i ve found the right solution. In his poem to the slanderers of russia, pushkin directly asks the question what excited you about the lithuanian unrest . Immediately neglected. Answers leave the eternal dispute between the slavs among themselves, the poet offended the lithuanian people by classifying them among the slavs, meanwhile, according to the statements of modern independent lithuanian historians, the lithuanians and the romans are the same people. Many lithuanians today they claim that the first person on earth was also lithuanian and his name was adamkus. However, every cloud has a silver lining. There is no shedding blood with terrorist attacks, imagine, in the ninety second year there was no chechnya, the word terrorist attack already appears, do not shed blood with terrorist attacks, but it is reasonable, in the baltic way, to calmly settle scores with the classics, the lithuanians should immediately smash all the busts of pushkin in estonia for the line shelter of the poor chukhons, not only did the poet call the estonians chukhons, they were also wretched, this cannot be forgiven. And helping to break busts of estonians the finns should, since the words the finnish fisherman is the sad stepson of nature are no less offensive to them, he is not even a son, he is a stepson, that is, it seems like nature rested on the finns, hints that many peoples need to reconsider their attitude towards the chauvinist pushkin, he wrote without regard to the Current International situation, what right he had to begin. And todays new translator was still cautious and adjusted it according to todays events, it was the timid armenians who fled, but the chechens in general should quarter all the monuments to lermuntov, for the line of an angry chechen crawling ashore, many authorities have something to think about, the cartoon should be banned in ukraine. Combined with the word russia, in russia the time has come to break diplomatic relations with latvia forever, it was the latvian artist who painted the famous painting latvian riflemen guarding lenin in smolny. Latvia could not think of a greater provocation towards russia. But in lithuania, in an independent one. In vilnius, on the site of the monument to the occupier pushkin, it is best to erect a monument to the liberator dantes as a symbol the murder of russian culture should be written on it with gratitude from the independent lithuanian people. But jokes aside, scientists have already appeared who prove that indeed all the languages ​​of the world originated from our language. Moreover, i received another letter from a foreigner, and he writes you are absolutely correct in your language. for example, organs, as he noted, after all , there are very smart people among foreigners, you know, i must admit how unpleasant this is for me, but there are very smart people, and he wrote to me wonderful letter, i think that he should be given some kind of russian award, he writes that he knows many languages, and he made such a wonderful observation, for example, he says that you say russian i, and we say ay, ah this is the reverse reading of i, and in the bathhouse he realized what the difference is, in the bathhouse, when. They were naked, the russians say i, point with their hand away from themselves, and they say ah towards themselves, that is, their tongue rows towards itself, shes giving away from herself, well. A controversial statement, but what i really liked is that he writes that all organs of the body are called correctly only in russian, according to the functions of these organs, heart, middle meridians, stomach, life, lungs, you breathe easily, you live easily, as we call the fontanelle, and in english top, apex, apex, bottom, and so with all the organs, only. They are very practical, i will still instill an interest in the liver, it makes sausage, that is, bros, our language, of course, they tell me, why do you think that this is all, all languages originated from the language of our ancestors, and not vice versa, but because they have one the root is one word, but we have branches of words, for example, three in english, three, somewhere three. Our root is everywhere, well, thats it, but we have a word , look, mood, there are three of us, no, no, no, not in that sense, my friends, no, no, no, in the sense of the holy trinity, but to be upset is stop feeling the holy trinity, of course, its difficult for them to learn our language, an american friend of mine asked me again a question, explain the difference between okay and well okay, now its funny for you, he had to explain it, and you try to explain this difference, their language is for transmitting information, he conveys information more accurately than ours, and ours to express the overwhelming feelings of us, okay, well, okay, it depends on the intonation, i tell him, okay, yes, thats true, he says, okay, what a fool i felt when i i explained to him what it was, okay, i said, okay, thats not really true. In general, lets get smart, so i started talking about russia, all these mongrel countries are now bullying russia, but my friends, latvia, lithuania, estonia got the opportunity for the first time to form an independent state thanks to russia, few people know this, finland remembers this, and i recently spoke in helsinki at the lenin house of culture, because thanks to his signature it gained independence. England, if england does not lift the blockade, england got scared, lifted the blockade, americans should raise a glass to the russians when they drink to their independence, everything, everything is forgotten, latvia, lithuania and estonia say you must compensate us. Ok, but i figured out what kind of losses latvia should compensate us for . Latvian riflemen guarded lenin. Its impossible to even calculate how much damage they caused us. They consider us aggressors. And by the way, in paris they ate all the animals in the zoo, including two baby elephants, when there was a francoprussian war and. It was occupied by the germans, and now compare with the siege of leningrad, no one was touched, and in general its an idea that there is no censorship in russia, no, everything im telling you, no one has ever reprimanded me, what kind of censorship is there after that . Recently a liberal came up to me at an exhibition and said how can you live under fascist regime . I tell him, if we had a fascist regime, you would have been in prison the day before yesterday, and they. Then the normans came, slaughtered 2 3 of the male population, raped the women. The english are british women who were raped four times , they have fear in their genes, they have goosebumps, we dont have that, the french came to us, they went back, the germans came, they stayed with us longer, well, that didnt happen, we dont have fear, we are russians in general. Europe is just as stupid, they dont understand that all the way to paris, there are only stupid americans and they are frightening people who are scratching with a knife with sanctions back, who picks his teeth with a fork, and the teeth of the fork diverge, at 40 he goes to work on foot, because there is a bus. Frozen at 120 in the bathhouse screaming, something is too cold, give me some more, who opens beer with his teeth, does not wear seat belts, hangs up safety icons, only stupid americans with their sanctions are trying to break the people who, in the absence of an iron, can iron their clothes with a hot frying pan, boil dumplings in a kettle and try them overnight. Yes, it flows from a hot tap, thats all they are, where the bus, stuck in puddles, can be pushed by passengers, to the end, oh, well, the last joke that was sent to me, not me, the people have better pure humor than our professionals, the americans decided to attack russia, they ask the french when is the best time attack . The french say we dont know, but definitely not in winter, the germans say in summer its also not worth it, they asked the chinese, they say, right now, the russians are building a stream of power in siberia, they are completing the construction of the eastern cosmodrome, the bridge to crimea will soon begin to be built, bam they decided to restore hes building stadiums for the world cup, exploring the arctic, theyre fucked up, they need prisoners like they are. Kvn, major league, new season, watch the time after the program. Mancacher whiskey, a product of the stellar group, cnop gin, a product of the stellar group, cognac monte chococa, a product of the stellar group. Rom. I dont relate to the golden billion in any way, well, this is a life parallel to me, they just dont interest me at all, i know what youre talking about, i think it will collapse very soon, it wont exist, to the future, i owe you say that after traveling in russia, i came to the conclusion that in russia fontanelles have become living water, fontanelles, and soon they will gather into streams, and then into fullflowing rivers. And young people will be doing this, i have a very good feeling about our russia, it is not organized, not equipped, but there is the life of the soul in it, because i said on television, when we look into a room and there is no one, we are not talking about souls , but in english there is rudeness, there is no torso, for them the torso is more important , but we continue like this with our language to move forward without feeling it, but i want this process to be conscious, so that people. No thank you, but thank you, so that you understand the difference between mind and intelligence, young people are cool, ill tell you that im like. It so happened that when i began to travel around the country, and i grew a beard, my generation stopped recognizing me, and young people began to recognize me, they have such a tenacious memory, their processor works quickly, they began to come up to ask questions, and its so interesting listen, they hear everything, they dont have beacons, they they are educated, maybe its good that they dont have an education . And there is no point in them having the wrong education, they hear me say that i decided to do this television program, it is addressed to young people, so that they already know where real life is. I want to tell you that there are three manifestations of god on earth, these are nature, love and a sense of humor. Nature helps us to live, love, survive, and survive humor. Sometimes they write to me, oh, listen, its interesting to live like this, is this how you are . Advise, wrote one from america, i came to america to work, and i didnt believe you, that they are stupid, and you know, you are wrong, they are not stupid, they are idiots. He says, im a skydiving instructor. I was so tired of their idiocy, their formatted thinking, narrow minded, in english, that i began to tell them its not scary if the parachute doesnt open, otherwise they are very afraid, thats all, the main thing is to be able to land. how, how, how , he says, its necessary, its not hitting the ground thats dangerous, but bouncing off the ground, you have to grab the ground so as not to bounce, and he began to train them, you have to fall without rebounding, well, thats the attitude towards life i already like, one woman wrote to me you know, because of you, i gave birth 4 hours earlier, normal, normal presentation. They brought her to the maternity hospital, admitted her, a young doctor came in, decided to pretend to be perky, took a smartphone and asked google how to deliver the baby, she gave birth right away, oh, but the most super thing, in my opinion, is just a letter, which is in this i mean, i got it, this woman wrote i was traveling with a young man from st. Petersburg to moscow, he was so sad, he had a backpack, and. He turned out to be a pathologist, well, of course, there was nothing to have fun, but he had a backpack full something, no, no, not that, no, no, no, not that, and, i tell him, you are sad, young, thats why i cited a few of your jokes as an example, he looked at me slyly , squinted like lenin, went off somewhere, returned with an empty backpack, 15 minutes later, sitting, enjoying himself, quietly, with himself. After another 10 minutes, the conductor runs from the next reserved seat car, shouting the boss, hurry up, i dont know what will happen to you, hes attached to everyone whose legs were sticking out, i must say our language is figurative we feel it, the british have an informational language, the exact plane landed on us, the plane landed where it landed , what are its legs . And the woman says i came by plane, yeah, but will you fly by train . And none of our people Pay Attention to the fact that our language, it is felt, here. To continue the topic, in english, the boiler went bad, right, right, our boiler flew, where, she has wings, and thats in everything, the numbering of the cars starts from the tail of the train, where you have this tail on the train, one woman says to me i already ive been sitting on carrots for a week, youre not ohohoh on carrots here, she says next week ill switch to potatoes, but. But your buttocks are really normal, if youre from carrots to potatoes, oh, then for the british and anglosaxons dont explain that our women go into the sea, a wave, thats informational this is complete nonsense, they hold hands in the sea, they sing joyfully in the sea, the woman sowed peas, what kind of peas can be in which sea, they are happy, oho, they fell on. A knife from a pocket, where is the moons pocket, what a knife, this is our figurative language, we are in soul we read, the horse wasnt lying around, why should it be lying around, that is, you did the work and the horse is so joyful, he lifted his legs, didnt kick him in the tooth, what . From the point of view of rational thinking , our language is no good for the west, so we will never understand each other, a girl comes to a store in nizhny novgorod, says i need a dress the color of borscht, so how . Try telling an american, she will freeze, our saleswoman says should you have borscht with mayonnaise or sour cream, should you pepper it or not . And in the end i have to say the main thing god bless you, be rich in our original sense of the word, all together our slavic, dear, cheers, thank you, thank you i dont even want to part with you somehow, to show you for your applause, for the first time with a beard, because the east is not europe, more and more. Hello, the Vremya Program is on air, in the studio of iktorin andreeva, the main event of the day. The new government, who will retain their posts, who will be promoted and new faces, candidacies have been submitted to the state duma, and today the president signed it