Teacher, that is, popularizer, i know, when i was at school, i remember, we. Came to yekaterinburg, went to the faculty of philosophy, and we attended a lecture about engels, and i remember, this is what the teacher said, that marx was really a thinker, and englis, he is such a popularizer, and somehow this thought stuck in my head, and not in the sense that i compare myself with engels, but i understand that i am a popularizer, i can find contact from the audience, while i have this, i understand that it could go away tomorrow, because as you know very well, every time you enter the audience its like anew, and you dont understand whether this lecture will work or not, in fact, i got this turn and as for my current main obedience , forgive me, im using this word, well in some sense, this is the case, thats how i feel about it i probably was needed , i was given such an honor, they called me, i came , that is, you didnt ask for it, i didnt ask for it, i didnt go, i didnt go because this is Something Like that well, i just didnt have it. Such plans, i wasnt going to change anything, i was the head of the journalism department, we were going to write some kind of textbook, i planned to somehow build this uh, some kind of academic career, yes academic, yes teaching, academic, this turnaround its unexpected, but i understand that for these 15 years i lived there, well, several lives, and whatever dimension you take, i was on bering island, accompanying his holiness the patriarch, but when would i end up on bering island, yes never, what is it capable of. 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I want a daughter from me, once my ears are together, its better in a good way, clap, fiction, the next level from october 27 to friday, on the first, we continue, this is a podcast the life of the wonderful, im with you, its leading writer alexey varlamov, in my guest is vladimir romanovich ligoida, professor mgemo, editorinchief of thomas magazine, chairman of the senodal department for interaction between church and society. But in general, this world of the church is quite closed for most people, not very understandable, well, you can remember the wonderful book of archimandrite tikhon, but not the holy saints, which is largely, yes, thanks to its circulation. The world of the church, but still, in russia, historically it turned out that way, yes, that society lives according to its own laws. The church lives by its own laws, literature also lives by some of its own laws, so the dialogue between them does not always go well, so what is your feeling from this world of the church, what is it like . Well, you know, of course, i had very little experience with the Church Bureaucracy until the moment when i started working in the church, and i would say that the word bureaucrat is more likely to be used, which for me in 2009 was on the verge of such, yes, abusive disdain, i for example, i clearly understand now that a healthy, highquality bureaucracy is very important, in the state, in the church, anywhere, it seems to me that i understand its limits, i understand, so to say what can be achieved through bureaucratic means, well, i dont understand everything, but somewhere yes, what can be achieved, what cannot be achieved, and at the same time i cannot share the opinion of people who know these same bureaucrats from the outside, that these church bureaucrats, they are there they almost dont read or pray at all, furthermore, im not talking about the holy patriarch there, because its enough to visit the altar once, when the patriarch is praying, so that all the questions you have, even if there were any, they will immediately disappear , but i just see a lot of people, with whom i have been working for these years, i feel them completely differently, of course, and even publicly famous people, individuals whose behavior caused, i would say, justified questions from society, i had these questions, and we introduced complex internals. Discussions, i probably have the feeling that people are also, you know, how there is one story, one entrepreneur , very similar, well, from the forbes list, in short, they brought him to the deveyevsky monastery, so he walks for the first time, here he walks, walks and is silent , they show him a groove there, there something else, and he is silent all the time, several hours have passed and he says, well , how he was silent, he says, people too, here you have. That the church still has its own and slightly different history than the state, and if we remember, as it were, in chronology, then the relations were very different over the course of many millennia and the baptism of russia, but if there is, well, there is no conflict conflict, but if we say that the church has its own interests, its own goals, the state has its own tasks, then what choice will you make, because i i understand that you are a statist at the same time, well, you know, i can have a few of these here before answering the question, not to gain time, but just a few important points, the church and the state really have a different history, including in the history of our country, but they have never existed one without the other, yes , and i think that they cannot and will not be able to exist one without the other, and the second important point, if we take the thousandyear history of the Russian Church, it really never been so free from the state like today, this does not mean that there are not some kind of mutual relations, very difficult, sometimes , something is based there on some personal contacts, some systemic decisions, but just no matter what period you take, to be honest, here as it seems to me, if you look at the history of the Russian Church in relations with the russian state, then the church has never had such an opportunity to independently make decisions about its internal life, now to your question, here i will refer to it, its just that its already included in my. Positions, there is a basis social concept of the Russian Orthodox church, yes, where it is clearly stated that if the state forces a believer to do something that contradicts his faith and what is said in the gospel, then he can or must, i dont remember the exact wording now, express disagreement with this, yes, so i hope, firstly, i hope that this will not happen, but if there is something that will put me in a situation of choice, in this sense i really like my good. Friend, probably, friend, words are too much binding, uh, by the polish director krzysztof zanusi, in one of the books, he says that i am grateful to god for never putting me in a situation of choice between my faith and my family, you know, such an honest confession of a thinking person who lives a difficult life, i very often return to this thought, because its easy to say, yes, ive never been there, well, okay, so from what you said, we can conclude that there is such a serious problem, as before the relationship between church and state, it at least, its not as acute now as it was in previous times, and maybe it has been removed altogether to one degree or another, but what, from your point of view, are still Serious Problems or challenges facing the Russian Orthodox church today stand, some pain points have been identified, you know, it of course depends on at what level we are trying to answer this question, because if Something Like this in hamburg. That is, the wonderful gospel words of christ, which in some way i mean, well, the verdict of the church is at any time, so everyone will know that you are my disciples. That you will have love for one another. This phrase, it seems to me, is the most important attempt to live according to the gospel comerton and the impossibility of this, we are in some sense doomed to the impossibility of this, but this gap between the gospel ideal and reality, it can be a little larger, smaller in different , well, in some cases, again , its not that its more or less, but it can take place in different ways, yes, you said about complex relationships with literature, yes, after all here today, you love dostoevsky, thats almost it. Are you orthodox or not, yes , although we know that the relationship between the official church and Fyodor Mikhailovich developed very differently, but i think this will surprise many today, as because that mikhailovich is almost the author of the catechism, yes, here its just these features of time, i think that in trying to solve this global problem, it is very important today to find some kind of balance between this pace of time, from which. You cant fall out completely, but he, i dont like this word, but its really apparently unprecedented, for civilization, that is, the way people live today has never lived before, from the point of view, i think no, yes, from the point of view of the flow of information, technology, yes , on the other hand, i once came up with, forgive me for such involuntary narcissism, i really like it, i once said that if the church does not keep up with the times, so much the worse for the time, so find some then the balance between not running, lifting up your pants and not running after this komsomol, so to speak, technological and so on, on the other hand, not to look like, well, a savage from the mumba yumba tribe, but in a situation where you need to react, and uh, this is probably difficult, so lets talk a little now about missionary activity, look, maybe im wrong, but probably now is such a unique moment in the history of the Russian Church, because when there was a prerevolutionary period, there was synodal activity and before that there was missionary activity. There was, but it was mainly aimed at there other nations, in soviet times, for obvious reasons, missionary activity practically did not exist, now thats how interested the church is in having as many people as possible come to it, believe or, well, whoever walks and walks, they will be saved or not saved, in any case, here we are, we are responsible for these, yes , and let them live as they want, or for those, our souls also hurt, and in fact, here in front of. To the magazine, which, it seems to me, in many ways serves as such heres a tool thats not an attempt at conversation only with people who are already here, churchgoers, but with those who are interested, to whom this is important, what do you think about it . Here are the words of the apostle paul, that for everyone i became everything in order to gain at least some , they are such a missionary imperative, but the position of a christian missionary, it has not changed, but historical circumstances can change, the legal field that you must take into account, right . Because any church, it correlates itself with the existing government one way or another, should not violate some Legal Provisions to fit into this legal field, there is this internal mission, in this sense, in many ways, foma probably began to deal with it at some point, when we had our own audience, maybe to be small, but devoted or changed there, but here we are together with us or we are together with the audience, rather , but there is of course an external one, i think that the church is certainly not interested, but another thing is that the church, you know, as if. buzzword qi, use that quantity, never it was not, of course, a cap for the church, precisely because you said, the manycalled little chosen ones, but this is such a paradox, yes , an ecclesiastical one, this does not mean that one should not strive to preach to everyone, but it does mean that one should not consider so to speak, by looking at their heads and by this determining some kind of success or failure, because everything that the church could do to the maximum was done by its founder, and what else, so to speak, is our task. Just to testify to this in all episodes of the podcast lab project look at the first website channel 1tv. Ru, we continue, this is the podcast life of the wonderful, i am with you, its leading writer alexey varlamov, my guest is vladimir romanovich ligoida, professor mgemo, editorinchief of the magazine thomas, chairman of the department for interaction between church and society. What do you think, is it necessary, for example, is it possible in russia, a political party, well, this is how it happens in other countries, a christian one, i think, now, probably just in case, ill say that im saying this in a personal capacity, i think that today there is no , v including, you know, there is such a general approach, i remember once metropolitan kiril, then the future his holiness patriarch, i was at some round table with one of the party functionaries, i dont remember now which party, but he said, that the church is conservative, our party is conservative, lets support us, he says, well, the party by definition, as they say now, i m not quoting, but ill try to convey the idea, this is part of it, it works as part of society, and the church is for everyone, so i i understand that this is not the answer of a political scientist, someone will say that this is not interferes, there may still be some kind of christian democratic party, but just at the philistine level , the difficulty will arise that they will say, but if there is a christian party, then all christians should support this party, and so on, in the political world its like that does not happen, and i think that in our time, which is not fully enlightened by the gospel, it will not be useful to serve, but will create additional points of tension in public life, from here the next question follows when are church ministers, and there, priests, can they with your point of view about going into politics, i dont know, there was a time when they were peoples deputies, then, in my opinion, somehow this now exists in our country, here i will not separate myself from the function that i am, in our country there is a very specific ban on this, all kinds of statements on social networks, i dont know somewhere else, this somehow gets assessed from the outside. You dont need to get involved in this matter, or vice versa, they call someone and say, you need to speak out, support them when there are local elections, something else, no, its more likely our interaction with priests who are present on social Networks Today and are quite active, we have hundreds of thousands of people there, millions of people, here there is rather interaction, including our department, as a specialized one, with priests who work like us we are talking as an internet mission, and we can ask them for something or or ask them to. Do or not do something, and they dont always listen to us, but we try to convince them, so to speak, and to be in dialogue, but its not concerns, as a rule, some political statements, this can only concern us in the sense that we ask them not to make political statements, since there is still a certain opinion on this matter, that is, a certain discipline exists in this world, exists , but you understand how, in the Russian Church, in general in the entire Russian Orthodox church, there are more than 40,000 clergy, in this sense , of course, we have such a free situation, because i remember once, many years ago, we, a representative, some kind of pr man main one social network held a closed seminar with us, he said, well, where does highquality, highquality communication with the public begin, with the fact that a person stands out who can speak on behalf of the organization, a ban is imposed on everyone else, and even though we explain there that this is the position of the church, who can express it in such cases, but we have no prohibition, but this is unimaginable in any government or business structure. Which presupposes his entry into this space in one way or another thus, out of these 4000, everyone, well, not everyone, many can understand this in their own way , and well, anything can happen here, and we have to give some explanations, i did a lot in my time and still do, now its true that we are less communicated with journalists and explained that if some priest said something, then there is no need to immediately Say Something in the Russian Church, they decided or decided or believe, just as there is no need to bore us with these questions, but what is the official position of the church on about gmos or homeopathy, why should the church be the official position on homeopathy, or gmos, why we do not admit that among millions of believers, people may have different attitudes to this, there is no dogmatic meaning here. In these respects, well, i mentioned the trinity , yes, im really interested, because this is such, well, there was information, there was a lot of noise around this event, thats what, what do you think about this story, you personally, i had an interview on a respected radio, a wonderful colleague, he began with the fact that society was split over the program trinity of the church, this is what you think about this, and with your permission i will simply repeat it, because it seems to me that this is very important, firstly, society is split only in the media, but there is no split in society. Does not exist on this matter, to say that our society is split into two groups, one for, there, the other against, and secondly, and i think he added that the fact that this is a cultural catastrophe or a problem, well, somehow so, well, at least these assessments sounded not from him, then from others, but i just the day before i spoke with one, a young man of student age, and we accidentally came up with this topic, and not only did he not know that the trinity had been handed over to the church, he did not know that such an icon existed, when i asked him who Andrei Rublev was , he said tanisist, thats why this is, in connection with what i think about the trinity, that the cultural catastrophe today is that we have people, young, maybe not so young, who dont know that it exists, so this is the problem, and not the fact of the transfer of the church and it is possible that everything will be fine with storage, the church certainly has no task of storing the icon so that it is poorly preserved, so to speak, well, on the one hand this is understandable, on the other hand, why. Right now this happened, not 5 years ago and yet , well, if there are no strict causeandeffect relationships, then i really dont want to put on the costume of my political scientist colleagues, ask. About which, well, of course im being ironic, explain something, or predict something, then, when it doesnt come true, explain why it didnt come true, but i dont do that, here, well, this happened now, but by the way, to say, this is a process, also last summer the icon was transferred to the trinity, yes, so this cannot be said that this is a onetime decision, just today, i know, i read when today in a number of social networks , here are the explanations of what happens in some decisions , including personnel ones, and when i know exactly the background of these decisions, then i can tell you that in 100 of cases, even what can be called more or less highquality analytics does not coincide with reality, simply because an analyst operates with logical constructs, well, plus he knows the context, the situation, yes, but if he does not know the true reasons for the decision or the real situation, then he still rationally constructs reality, and life as a reality does not lend itself to rational construction, life as a theory, lends itself, but as a reality it doesnt, that is, when you read such secular journalism, which writes on church topics, you read it with such an attitude, this is right, this is wrong , you guessed it right, you didnt guess it, not only secular, even there are now people who are professionally involved in some things, but lets say, religious scholars of some sort , people who are, i dont know, some orthodox oppositionists, so i read their explanation of some of the events that are happening now i understand that you guys didnt get it, well. Its not like you, what you think, but do you perform in such cases, or what . Well, it depends on each specific case, that is, here, you personally make a decision whether to speak or not to speak . No, not always, there are situations when the patriarch is there says that you need to give it, or asks or they say, you need to give it, i can say that maybe its not necessary, although i must admit that there were situations when i tried, thats how it seems to me, well, after all, i i feel responsible, i may be trying to say that your highness may not be needed, but all sorts of things. I then make sure that the patriarch makes the right decision, that is, you are in Constant Contact with his holiness, yes, but at the same time i believe, its wrong to constantly pull it, because why would i then i need it if i start calling the patriarch on any issue, well then he can do without me, of course, its understandable, so you started talking about this young man, and for whom Andrei Rublev is a tanesist, well , look, im even interested in returning to your teaching activity, what is most important for you, it is obvious that not all of your students are believers, maybe even quite the opposite, but for you it is important, in your lectures, to somehow emphasize your belonging to the church and try to drag students on my side, no, i dont do this on purpose, moreover, in this sense, well, i somehow think its necessary, that is , your church is separated from the demo, well, no, not quite like that, and i i remember that after all, the separation of school from church, yes at one time, this. But it did not in any way follow even from the separation of church from state, maybe directly, but i still have, within the framework of the courses that i teach, and there is topics related to religion, but not with orthodoxy and not with orthodox theology, just culturally, i as a culturologist, as a teacher of philosophical disciplines, i proceed from this, i never hide my views, and in general i think that it is impossible, but for some reason this does not bother me very much, i am especially not worried about student. Atheism, because it almost never does not happen through suffering, but if, when we touch on atheism, i especially if the guys ask, i always say that this is often the case, we are with this, we know this, from the history there of philosophy, and in general human thought, that very often atheism so deeply thought out, its tragic worldview, and it seems to me that it cannot be any other way, because in fact , this is the solution to the main question, yes, death, finitude there, nonbeing, yes, thats why i understand that the students worldview is not complete, so by the way , to say, these are all, sociological aprova, young people have become smaller, there, i dont see a problem in this at all, because i know, i saw how students change from the first year to the fourth, they began to experience what in the first year they seemed generally unworthy of the experience, although interest in religious problems, religiousphilosophy, it is consistently high, and i m teaching now for ninetyfive, and i dont see that changing. That is, it seems to you that all these generations, as they are called, are not there, they are , they are changing, of course, a lot seems to me to have changed for the better among the current freshmen there compared to the freshmen 1015 years ago, and although something has not changed, maybe it was grafted onto me into the soviet, but now they say that we have lost our youth, we raised them wrong, we need to change the system education, everything needs to be changed, it turns out that nothing needs to be changed, no, the education system, of course, needs to be changed. I also try to think a lot about it and even Say Something, but this education in general seems to me to be in crisis in everything in the world, it has reached such dead ends that it cannot get out, but the guys on their own. Have even become. From the point of view of perception of religious topics, it seems to me that they are much more open today, they still know very little, sometimes they demonstrate some kind of monstrous general cultural ignorance, but this a description of how they were prepared, yes, how they were taught, what they did for the last 2 years at school, and we know that they were preparing to take three disciplines, the unified state exam and did nothing else, yes, the vast majority, with the exception of olympiad participants. Who didnt do this, but simply tried to win the olympiads, theres some kind of openness, its, well, i just have a simple example, this, of course, may not be very highquality sociology, but i ve been teaching a masters course there in Political Science for five years communications of the modern church, and although this is course about the modern church, you still have to start from the stove, because there is no knowledge, there was no course in the history of religion, although they come to us from different universities to the magistrate, just like everywhere else, like any other, but from year to year so far, each new set demonstrates more and more for me, maybe im so lucky, theres interest in the topic, so you said in education it is necessary to change education in a crisis, but what would you still begin to change in education in the current russian one . I just think its a very good idea aleksanovich fodeev, which he is now also saying, that we must precisely, if we are at a turning point, especially, yes, we must set some kind of largescale task, this is. A move, training a person there with the competencies, he is so petty, it is so inconsistent with either the time or the problems that exist, we have so forgotten that man is a seeker of truth, goodness, beauty and goodness, and this should be manifested in education, it seems to me that this is a return to education, understanding the scale of the goal, that a person, a person who is being educated, education is training, we have removed education, it is just training , it is no longer education, yes, that this education is a person, actually a person, as such, because an uneducated person is not yet a person , this is the task that just needs to be proclaimed, and there is no need to be afraid to say that knowledge is a value in itself, yes, not just any value, but it is knowledge as a worldview category, not information, not a set of information, so we must set this task, with fodeev, when we talked, he said a very correct thing that. After all, this is not the task of bureaucratic structures, that society should discuss this and set some ideas, articulate some ideals, which then and some goals, which then the bureaucratic structures will provide there is already movement in this direction, not in the sense of excluding them from the process, but still you cannot demand from the ministry that they now take us here and lay out these concepts, so it seems to me that we dont talk about this very much, well, we and you about it lets talk today. All the best in the magazine, which i really love to read , i wish you all the best in your work, in all its manifestations, thank you very much, it was a podcast about the lives of wonderful people, it was hosted by a writer, our guest was bylirovyda, the chairman. On interaction between church and society, editorinchief of the journal thomas, professor mgimo. Hello, this is the psyche podcast and we continue to sort through the bones, molecules, atoms, looking for human destinies. The right development strategy, or just trying to understand how to live happily, my cohost, clinical psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences, mikhail horrs, a true master of this art, well, our todays hero came to us with a problem that, it seems to me, will resonate in the hearts of many girls and men too , alena doesnt know how to part with her lovers , alena doesnt know how to throw out of her. Heart, traumatic , painful relationships, thats what she came to us with, hello, alena, hello, well, tell your story, youre just generally you dont know how to part with any lovers, or some one hurt you so painfully that you cant get this wife out , there were two of them, the first was my husband, with whom we broke up 7 years ago, i had very difficult parting and i couldnt forget him for 3 years, i still have three children from him, and literally. A little over 7 months ago we also broke up with a young man, having met for more than a year, i still cant forget, although they say time heals, well , to be honest, i can hardly imagine how can you. Forget the person from whom you have three children, but this is simply impossible, if you are raising these three children, you are raising these boys, girls, you have boys or girls, and you have three boys, you probably see in their looks, movements, plasticity, facial expressions, you see your father, yes, well, usually by the word forget, they mean not to suffer, not to suffer, not to think, constantly, that is, you suffer, im not like you you want to forget and just cross out this part of your life. Moment appears, i im starting to think about this person, but what are you starting to think about this person , i just want, before mikhail begins to heal you, so to speak, or show you a strategy for getting out of the situation, i want, at this everyday level, to just understand what s wrong is happening to you, well, that is, you cry, i cry, i think whats wrong with me, im starting to delve into myself, now, why is something wrong with you, i dont know, ive always been good to everyone, i i tried to be good for them, made many concessions, and you can give an example bring, what does it mean, i tried to be good and made concessions . The most typical thing is when i lived with my husband, i know that he comes late in the evening, i took on all the household responsibilities, well, accordingly, i was on Maternity Leave then, no matter how tired i was with three children, i cooked him a hot dinner, he ate and went to bed, thank you, he told you at least, thank you, he said, sometimes he said, sometimes not , he has his own there too, sometimes he didnt even eat, because he says, i dont want to, i think, well, i stood there for half the evening please yourself, and you, then, when, well, he went to bed, he didnt ask what, how it all happened, how , i bathed the children, put them to bed, then cleared the table, washed the dishes, collected the toys, that is, he came home to spend the night, to spend the night cleanly, and he he left you himself, yes, he himself, why did he leave you , how did he have some version, well, he met someone smart, young, beautiful, thats all, but he met another woman, and how do you tell him about it she said, he didnt say anything, i just saw the correspondence, when it was already like that well, seeing his correspondence, i told him showed me, i said, what are you . He says, well, yes, there is, and what, i say, like what , nothing, that we have a family, you and i have children together, he says, well, its okay, and come on, he says, well probably break up with you, thats it , thats how it all happened, in general he was happy with everything, until i found out all this, he packed his things and left, no, he didnt pack his things, he asked me and the children to leave him, because we lived in his apartment, so that s it and he said, well, at that time i was still pregnant with my third child, on my seventh month, he says, come with your camp from my ha with your camp, about your common children, about our common children, yes, then we sued him for a very long time, because the girl with whom he began to live, she could not have children, she offered him, lets take them with you, cool, because there are a little less, i have them three years old, yeah, okay, thats it, for 5 years we were suing, well, everything was complicated there too, well, since i already went to work, everything is fine with me, that is, a miracle did not happen, he didnt repent, didnt apologize, didnt say that he was wrong, now you, when you started talking about your first husband, the father of your children, you cried, youre sad, i see that youre hurt, it hurts, what exactly, what hurts , where, oh, it hurts that i couldnt keep a family, a complete one, it turns out that i have children without a father, i agree, it hurts, its insulting, although now after a while, they tell me, mom, we dont want to to dad, i also say, lets go to dad for the weekend, he invites you, no, we say, we dont want to , it turns out, i also have a counterweight, he he says that im turning them against, i say, well, you can talk to them on the phone yourself, he says no, its all according to your diction, i say, i dont mind, on the contrary, for children, boys to communicate with dad, so they dont want to, they saw it all, it was all in front of them, despite the fact that they were not little, that is, you are not mourning your womens dreams that have come true, but a Strong Family in which there is a father and mother, three children, you you are raising each other together, how many years have passed since you broke up, 7 years, but can we now have a second one . Second story, here it was a little different, well, in some ways even similar, i met a young man , it seemed to me that everything was wonderful, i m probably just used to the fact that the men in my life, i probably turn them into children, i begin to patronize, look after, take care of, offer some options for entertainment, and here there was a similar situation, the vacation was at my expense , i also bought groceries in the store, well, and it immediately became so that you became such a mommy, and a mommy with. Sponsors or thats it right away right from the first day, and then on the contrary, we dont exist, i tell him, listen, why do i always pay for groceries at the checkout, hes like, well, its your own fault, you quickly take out the card, great, thats how you choose them, tell me, by what criteria, well that is, what did you like about both of them, that you decided to enter into a relationship with them , i probably like external characteristics, i love tall, big men, how did this relationship end, he was very jealous, and even but. I wake up , he looked at my phone all the time, i look like this, there is no person, where he disappeared, i go out to the kitchen, and my phone is charging, and he is trying to find something there, i say that you stood there on his initiative . Initiative, yes, as it was, there was also terrible jealousy, we have a mutual friend from our company, when we already started, well , communicating with us, he was jealous of him, although that friend was dating my friend, as he told you that you are breaking up, and he said so, he says, im done, i cant stand you anymore, im already tired of everything, but there were some, he said that he couldnt stand you and he left, mentally, and then you tried to return something, i tried to return it, tried to communicate with psychologists, tried something myself, what was valuable for myself, you know, i had two psychologists. And it was very amazing when one girl told me, she says you need to try to save your family , do it in every possible way, so lets stop , yes, if a psychologist commands his clients, patients, this is a toxic psychologist, from such a psychologist, dear viewers, you need to run away , oh i didnt know, by the way, a psychologist is not talking about to do, yes, but about what can be done, then there are several options, because often the client does not see any options and they can offer him. Sides to see, or about what to understand, and what prevents a person from doing something, yes, even if he sees some options, he may have some internal obstacles, fears , irrational beliefs, and so on and so forth , okay, whats the second thing for you . The second one told me the opposite, to leave my husband, chew the earth and try not to get along with him, so that it doesnt happen, well, yes, and i stayed, then like boron nunhausen herself, pulling herself in by the hair, but what about him . Made attempts to return to the family, we tried twice when he broke up with his previous girlfriend, and each time you accepted him, and the children and i went to see him, we lasted literally for a week, some of his correspondence and messages continued again , calls, not spending the night at home, well then your sons can be understood, since they were thrown here and there like that, like dogs, yes, well, we already understood that here the question cannot be forgotten and not thrown out of your heart, yes in itself, then there is this manifestation of such selfishness, but in fact there is no need to be embarrassed or ashamed of this, i plunged into my hobby, painting pictures and creating jewelry, of course, i know that you have achieved Great Success and i have prestigious awards , this gives you something, yes. Yes, but here it is important to consider yourself as, well, a metaphor, or something, yes, as a kind of vessel with energy, with a resource, you can pour a resource into this vessel, this is what you do, creativity, some achievements there, yes, these are behavioral changes, but you can close the holes in the bottom of this vessel, that is, stop losing your personality resource, yes, these holes are our negative emotions, and most people know that there is a reason for their negative emotions, because you ask the person why you you worry, and the person will answer i worry , i mourn because i couldnt save my family, yes, that is, here is the answer we hear the reason for my worries is in those circumstances that i can no longer change, they already exist, these are external circumstances, in reality it is not so, the reason for negative experiences, well, in 95 of cases, if we remove 5 biochemistry, this is. An assessment of the circumstances in which we are, or were once, so, accordingly , our job with you is to see what it is for grades that hurt you, and change these grades. This is a psychic podcast, and today we are discussing the story of alena, who cannot part with her lover. Mikhail khors, clinical psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences, is looking for the right way out. Please tell me what the person is called, there is nothing to use, he something begins to constantly think about it, somehow, yes, if he occupies himself with something , he seems to let him go, but suddenly he has a free minute and he somehow begins to suffer without a glass, as this person is called, alcohol addiction, he has an alcohol addiction, so if a person is dependent on something or someone, he experiences suffering without