Time in this nest, waiting for the fact that they should come to their senses and finally appear in your life, but it seems to me that they are unlikely to do this, i assure you that they will do it, well, yes, they are 21 years old v in general, they didnt really do this, they wont do something now , they just dont know how, they just dont know how, that is, youre right, they love as they consider possible, as they believe is true, at some point, when they got divorced, they might not have cared about you at all. Most likely, this feeling of loneliness, a feeling of deepest dissatisfaction, it is precisely this that gives rise to that very depression, so if you and i try to understand the etymology of the word, then you understand, yes, that dep is suppression, that is, there is word press, yes, accordingly it depresses, it presses, but it is very important here what you suppress inside, because if we are not talking about medical depression, i assume that if you had medical, clinical indications for to call it clinical depression, you would at least be admitted to a neurosis clinic , so i suspect that what the doctor called severe depression, well, lets chalk it up to the fact that its some kind of psychological depression, some kind of depressive disorder, yeah yeah , then we can talk about the fact that you are suppressing something inside yourself, thats what anya is and what feelings, what in general you show there inside, i dont know, yes, well, nothing will happen if you suddenly wake up tomorrow an absolutely happy person, what will change, what will collapse, well, i probably wont go to work, yeah, because i dont like your job, yes, yeah, the young man will stay, yes, yes, yeah, in fact, only he will stay, and the rest i would cross it out altogether, but what about mom, what would you do, ideally i would probably. In general with i didnt communicate with her, well, just like that, then it turns out that you suppress this feeling , the feeling in which you turn around , leave, crossing out, as you say, all of them, that is, you suppress that same anya who may not go to the party tomorrow work, stop communicating with your loved ones and everything he does, i dont know, enjoy the company of your boyfriend, well, there are some external ones, 100 yes, 100 yes, but these external circumstances, they really can. The problem is to realize it, but suppress it you decided for yourself, well, as if, if you dont suppress it, it will become even worse because , well, just imagine, i would like to kill tatyana now, yes, its quite possible to imagine, you dont even need to imagine, this is reality, yes , but at the same time, i have a desire to kill her, one option is the feeling that i experience at this moment, and the other option is that im sitting suppressing these feelings, then well, now at least i would look inadequate, i have there would be no interest in your conversation, because all i did, i would sit, accordingly, and suppress this feeling in myself, uhhuh, at the end of the program i would definitely lead myself to depression, because then you would suppress with this layer nothing that you call, i dont feel anything, there is nothing, this is the same state that is above this pressure, and under the pressure is your desire to take a sharp action , the desire to leave, pull away, push away, its just still within the framework of some everyday circumstances, yes, but i cant to do this as abruptly as i would like, and why, and what are your everyday circumstances, well, lets say, to move out and somehow separate as much as possible from your parents, well, you need a little more capital, well, its elementary, yes, but this is what prevents you from earning this capital , but i still dont understand why you need capital to move away from your parents, or rent an apartment . Well, its good there, you can rent a room, you can live in a hostel , well, that is, there are actually options, and it often seems that they are too expensive, but this is not always the case, i dont know how your pictures are. Thats possible too you can go to college on a budget with a hostel, even this is possible at 21, and even later , that is, there are options, but you seem to see only one picture, that you are moving out of your mothers house into a rented apartment, now, as far as i know , its very popular to rent an apartment for three or four, and share, as it is now, that is, you can also eat. Now they are called Public Places where people offer this, this is also possible, it will not be quite customary, however, well, yes, maximum, and there is not that much money needed for this, well, in fact, yes, its just that then you seem to leave there, leaving everything as it is , nothing will change there, this is the part that expects that something will change, so it depresses yours. Responsibility and essentially your desire, its just so strange, well, as if it had been clear for a very long time that nothing would change, they never will, this does not mean at all that our offended part will not expect that it should change, you know, children often have such thoughts, im going to die and youre all going to cry, even it may change, it is more likely to change, if you dont wait, so i dont seem to wait, well, consciously. You dont consciously wait, of course, you are an adult, this is the triggers with you podcast, its host is psychologist tatyana krasnovskaya, psychotherapist sergei nasebyan, and we are talking with anna about how to overcome depression at 21, what do you work for, a secretary, lets say, ok, you work as a secretary, its unlikely that this is your dream job, judging by how you said, what kind of job would you like to work in . I m studying to be a psychologist, oh, thats why. Not like that, its necessary says im studying to become a psychologist, yeah, this is your first higher education, yes, yes, the idea would be to become a psychologist, well, what year, third, and well , its the same as at the journalism department, in general, depression is a the normal state of a third year student at the faculty of journalism and a third year student at the faculty of psychology, well, if he is at this age, yeah, because you process so much information, depressive literature, which cannot help but plunge you into this state, in general, if you read psychological literature, then its easy to come to the conclusion that life is continuous pain, just like classical literature, so good, you would like to work as a psychologist , but now you are still working as a secretary, you would like to work as a psychologist, apparently, while you cannot work as a psychologist, of course, yeah, you are parttime, parttime , parttime, parttime, that is, in general , you have time for work, yes, why dont you work, well, in another field, i dont know, now theres a huge amount. Theres a very long story about why i even work at this job, and again its tied to my mother, i i understand, but if you say that it doesnt matter what the story is, you even go to work, because your mother said, obviously you can definitely change your job, judging by the way you say, what you say, your salary is not what you you were holding on to this place, you dont really like this job, also because its your mothers patronage, the salary there is not what youre holding on to . Well, its obvious that, lets say you earn x ruble, but exactly the same ruble earned elsewhere will bring you more pleasure than here, this is the first thing you need to figure it out, i thought about this a lot , last year, i almost quit, but something went wrong, and i was very scared, of course, this is normal, well , some unknown thing. You need to take this step, because nothing will change in itself, but somehow there are a lot of fears, yeah, but i understand correctly that working in this company or wherever you work there is, as it were , some kind of condition of your mother, that in this case , she pays for your training, no, i pay for the training myself, then you pay for it yourself, i generally pay for everything, then why are you there you work, for what reason, well, because again, she put in a lot of effort , lets just say, so that. If i plan to quit her, it means i need to quickly pack my things, move out, well, now you ll probably have to do this, because its obvious that after this program your employer will look at it, and so will your mother, and so will your mother, its unlikely that you will stay to work there, but with everything in this company where you work, its also impossible to make a career . Well, there is no psychologist, no, well, not necessarily a psychologist, you can become there deputy director, for example, gradually studying psychology, as if at some point there was a passion with which i came there, because before that i worked there in catering, there in sales, lets call it that, and naturally there, well, there was a different passion , and here i kind of sat down like this, for several months i, well, sitting here turned out to be very comfortable, especially in a depressive state, but then this state didnt even exist yet, its slowly, little by little, like mud is clouding, at home everything is very understandable and depressing, at work everything became very understandable and depressing. Well, look, you are slowly, slowly, as if you are pulling this mud over yourself, and your young man, how is your relationship with him . In general, its great, everything is fine, well, support, its just also because hes studying, but theres no super profitable job there, theres no opportunity to quit everything and suddenly move in together, i understand, yeah, thats it, but this is the only one. Probably an area that still makes you happy, then you definitely dont need to take antidepressants, because it will go out, so i dont want to, your depression somehow leaves an imprint on your relationship with your boyfriend, but very often there is a fear that if its bad with me, there will always be a person with whom its good and easy, then what do you do when such a thought appears . Nothing, usually im talking about litter, of course, of course, thats it, well, that is, youre slowly destroying the relationship, yes , yes, great, youre great, youre coping on all fronts, yes, look, anya, in order to grab the next branch , you need to let go of this one, in order to open another door, you need to close this one, whatever you like, any metaphor, yes, but you will have to, as it were , leave, this whole place you are in, it seems to be squeezing you out. This is the same thing, when its time for a child to be born, he is faced with the fact that the entire body of the mother , which until that moment was his shell, carrier, feeder, there, i dont know, love, yes, suddenly at one fine moment begins to to be rejected, and this is the most severe trauma for the one who is about to be born, and the child at this moment goes through the most difficult paths, the most difficult tests, we have never experienced anything more difficult in life have to go through. If you dont believe in life after death, and the child goes through this, that is, nature has laid down that he is able to survive this, emotionally, mentally, and the child is born in shock, yes, because only shock allows him to do this, you will do exactly the same thing, if you are kicked out now from all these circumstances, you will be fired from work after our program, your mother will kick you out, and you will find yourself with a knapsack on the street near the kazansky station, where you will need to spend one or two nights, at least for in order to gather your thoughts there, yes, then you will then be at the pinnacle of success, you will look back and say lord , how i lived it, like any person who achieves success, but its just that there you are a child who doesnt know that its time for him to be born, here now , you see, its as if you are pupating now, yes, but if you know how, uh, that a caterpillar, it begins to pupate, uhhuh, for a caterpillar, pupation is death, so. Not a single caterpillar knows that she will be born as a butterfly, this is a fullfledged living organism that consciously goes to this death for subsequent metamorphosis. Metamorphosis is the transformation of one thing into another, if in principle you see any anya who is capable of being happy, why did i say what will happen if you are happy tomorrow, and what if there is at least some kind of fantasy anya, who is capable of this happiness, female happiness, professional happiness, personal happiness, right . Then in order for this to happen there, it must, how to say, pupate here, this is a caterpillar, you know, this is the moment, it is coming, but rebirth will not happen, not metamorphosis will occur if you dont take this step, this step towards growing up and 21 years is exactly that age, i understand, but the feeling is just like at some point, if before, i understood that i was really there, well, sort of i can do something. And that is, now there is a feeling that i cant do anything at all, that i dont represent anything at all, and well, in general , im sitting there, no one doing anything, i dont know where i ll go and what in general ill do . Anh, you live with the feeling that no one needs you, and no one will get you out of this depression, no one will come for you and will not save you, you can stay there, you know how it will. It will end , how you will feel, slowly, slowly, sergey just painted a picture of how everything will gradually begin to die away, you can stay there, yes, i understand, but you can take a risk, but look, is it even possible to have a conversation for three with mom and dad . No, thats simply impossible, impossible at all, they dont communicate with each other, they dont communicate, yeah, its possible to have a conversation between you and your mom, you and your dad separately, uh, where you would be able to its also impossible to convey to them to describe your condition to them, they wont hear, they wont hear, they wont understand, they dont need it, they wont agree to support you, for example, for a year that you will live, are you sure, are you sure. Why are you so sure . Well, some life situations show that you dont have to count on them, huh, are there some people in your life, maybe neighbors, maybe some of your friends who need help more than you . One friend, old, perhaps old in the sense elderly or old, i mean, have you known her for a long time . Well, i mean, ive known her for a long time, yeah, what kind of help does she need, in your opinion . In psychological terms, excellent. Well, where you live, there live some, well, women, grandmothers, old people, grandfathers who look at least lonely, i dont even know, i dont pay attention, but you try to pay attention, thats when you go to work , from work, yes, look, maybe you will see several people around you who need help more than you, depression it is also dangerous because at this moment your ego is very strong it captures and holds your attention. Yes, im telling you, as a future colleague, yeah, one of the elements through which we can get out of this depression, and so you understand, hippocrates treated depression with warm enemas, that is, well, to make it clear how this was treated before, yes, where did your parents get such a generational attitude that this is all nonsense and fiction, so one of the elements that will be very useful to you now is to expand your attention to see people who need help more than you need. This is the triggers podcast, we are with you, its host is tatyana krasnovskaya, a psychologist and psychotherapist. Sergey nasebyan is a psychologist and psychotherapist. And we talk with anya about depression and how to overcome it. You know, i once gave my daughter, in my opinion, the most valuable advice, which she took advantage of. I told her that if you dream of something, but for some reason you feel like you cant. To realize this dream, well, due to lack of resources, yes, then always find where others are realizing this dream, so if you have a dream , whatever it is, maybe to become a psychologist, maybe some other one, yes, try to get as close as possible to the place where other people are implementing it, yeah, and being useful to these people, you will learn a lot, at least it definitely helped her, im sure it will help you, and it once helped me, to find that same job in the environment, to be nearby , bring. I dont know tea relatively speaking, but to be where people are are being realized, yes, i understand, what does a dream or the life of your dreams even look like . Well, im a cool psychologist, so cool its like a soughtafter, good specialist, yeah, with a lot of knowledge, well, that will come with age, i beg you, well, i m looking ahead for many years, yeah, you should already be there by fifty dollars , so . Well, either a house or an apartment, uhhuh, a dog, uhhuh, husband, uhhuh, well, thats it, well, well, as it were freedom, freedom in some actions, freedom in selfdeprecation and you work in a welcoming profession, youre a psychologist, yes , yes, what does your work look like, m, you conduct receptions, groups, training, i conduct receptions, sometimes trainings, yeah, but i have some kind of. Super cool cozy office and i conduct mostly facetoface sessions, you are shown on tv, yes, of course, so many i also take money for this, when you are shown on tv, what are you talking about, about how to get out of depression, great, why not, a great idea on how to get out of depression , start right today, get started. Keep a diary write down life hacks, how how you how it works for you, where there are failures, the way not the same, yes, if you, uh, feel like, relatively speaking, such a cool psychologist who helps people get out of depression, then how can you help them if you yourself would not have entered into this depression, so you consciously entered into it, then your the task of consciously getting out of it is like going into a dark room , you know, if we had more time, if we had more of a psychoanalytic session, then i would of course suggest that you go through the womb. Your mother, yes, whom you reject, well, youll sort that out on psychoanalytic sessions, when you go to a psychoanalyst, this is also part of the work, but if we are talking, for example, about getting out of depression, then. This is what i told you, these will be just good steps for you now, then you can say, what did you come up with, dont refer to me and bring people out of depression, but you will see, because it has been working for many years, it has been working for millennia, when there was no such thing as depression yet, and when you write a book, you are on the first page , title page, i think what will you write that i really understood why i had that depression, i hope so, and you can start this book right today, you can write this first page right today, asking yourself this question, why, of course, why do i need there was this depression, if you see how many people you will eventually help, that people will be there, i dont know, to republish your book in order to cope with this depression, you have depression as a special kind of depression that allows you to write a book, just like that, well, it really all worked out, look, firstly, i definitely want to recommend one book to you, although in theory you should. Already come across it, this is viktor frankol, yes , a concentration camp psychologist, tell life yes, yes, i heard, but right now you are starting to read it, the second a book that will be of interest to you, as a specialist, is byron katie, work, thats what the work is called, and this is just a woman who discovered herself, without being a psychologist yet, found herself on the floor in a clinic with a depressive disorder, when she was already everyone else turned away couldnt live with her, this book is about how she came out of this depression , yes, okay, thank you, tell me what you are leaving with, with motivation, with some kind of passion, to start changing something, why to be happy, then lets sum it up once again, so to speak, dont change anything, an, look around and see who around you needs help more than you, the first thing you need to do . Is to take the focus of your attention away from yourself, start serving people with small actions, small deeds, and you will be amazed at how much you can do, ok, yes, even if you are a believer, for example, you can just go to church every saturday to pray for other people, and this will also be a lot for you, it will bring meaning that now you are 21 years old, you look like this, there is no point, and there is no point if you dont create it. Okay, write down these steps , really start doing this, this is very useful advice, okay, yes , what you feel now, i cant describe yet, as its somehow ambiguous, Francoise Sagan has such a wonderful work, vague smile, it seems to me that this is very similar, yes, yes, something from this series, thank you, thank you, well, it was triggers podcast and we were with you, its hosts, psychologist psychotherapist tatyana krasnovskaya psychologist psychotherapist sergei nasebyan. Our guest was anya, a young, beautiful girl, with whom we talked about depression. Hello, this is the ezenstein125 podcast. Im a historian. Cinema natalya ryabshchikova, we are talking with my colleague film critic artyom sopin about sergei ezenstein. And today we have a topic of incredible foreign travel and adventures of eisenstein and his friends in europe, the usa and mexico. Hello, yes, and this trip, in general, divided esensteins life into two parts; it contained a lot, despite the fact that it lasted, in general, on the one hand, not so much and not so little 3 years. During these 3 years, isenshtein managed to catch many phenomena that by the end of the twenties were just leaving european culture, but he still managed to, as they say, feel, touch, look at them, on the other hand, he was already very shrewdly noticed those features that would be characteristic of the thirties and forties, no longer traveling outside the soviet union in subsequent years, he nevertheless met in the Foreign Press or in the domestic press, meeting certain names mentioned, he said, and i said this i already know, ive already seen it and here it is, how its developing now, and it was back in 30, 31, it was an absolutely turning point, because izinstein was invited to hollywood, invited to hollywood in 27, but he went hes there only in the twentyninth, and 29, this is already a completely different world, this is a world on the eve of the collapse of the nyuk stock exchange, this is a world where it is no longer possible to imagine oneself as a silent film, ezenstein maybe also, maybe, silent films are still being made in the soviet union, but all the world is already engaged only in sound cinema, and thats why hes coming, to try sound cinema, to see what it looks like , because back in 1928 here in the soviet union, he wrote an article application, or rather, under it there are three names isenshtein , pudovkin and alexandrov, but as we know, pudovkin came to visit esenstein, they discussed the theses together, but ezenstein still dictated the text, and alexandrov simply wrote down the two of them. And uh, in general, this article, which is loudly called an application, is just a proposal on how to use sound so that, on the one hand, not to lose the expressiveness of silent cinema with its editing, attention to detail, on the other hand , add sound as a new phenomenon, so that not just to record the sound, but to have the sound, for example, of a person riding. On a train and, so that we didnt hear the noise of the wheels, but so that we could hear the noise of his thoughts, uh, what hes thinking about now, and not necessarily as a voiceover, exactly how such an isenstein will continue to think, how to convey the structure of thought, this is his favorite topic, here we are just about the structure of thoughts, here sits this iz einstein, they invited him to hollywood, and he tells them, but i definitely need to go not alone, with my cameraman eduard tisse, well, roughly speaking, from hollywood they tell him, well, the cameraman is important, good, and then he says, but i also you definitely need to take your assistant, coauthor, Grigory Alexandrovna, and they tell him what, why, who is he . So he writes down some requests for esenshtein , yes, and there are actually three people going, very different, and one of them immediately feels a little disadvantaged. Moreover, einstein is from a family where special children were hired to teach english, german, and french, and this is not his first trip, yes, he finds out, he knows people who come to moscow, theodor dreiser comes to moscow, and of course goes to visit esenstein, to get to know him. And in the fall of twentynine, in turn, isenstein and his group come to europe, why, because in the soviet union it was impossible to obtain an american visa, because only in the thirtythird year the United States recognized the soviet union, and in order to obtain an american visa, it was necessary to go to berlin, where there was the closest opportunity, and after berlin they travel around europe for some time, waiting for opportunities to get to america, they make a living by giving lectures and making films, in particular in 1930, just in the spring, they received an offer to produce a film, a sentimental romance, this is a small short film, which, in general, was ordered for them by one large businessman, so that it could be filmed there wife, and azenstein, of course, jumped at it, because it was possible with the sound just. Try, by the way, we have the opportunity to watch it, endless love, wonderful woman, mara gris, not a wife, by the way, she is generally a mistress. Was, they then we just got married, no, this is important, it seems to me, because in general this whole company, party, yes, how do we get income, where from, they apparently agreed that they you left, they are practically without money, alexander later he said they were given 25 dollars, and what they are paid as business travelers in moscow goes to their families, isenshteins mother, aleksandrovs wife, for a small child, yes, mother, tisa, his sister, they agreed that everything they earn. To the common pot, but who earns, again, well, basically, mainly by his name, ezenstein, he counts the reports, here , of course, alexandras was also worked on, yes , although on the contrary, on the one hand, this short film has such a reputation that its such a pretty, well, vulgar story, it just sits there, girl, so that it all looks as beautiful as possible, lush, glamorous, on the other hand, yes, yes, glamorous, in general, then some sculptural figures appear there, these types of nature appear there, all this creates quite ironically in reality in fact, this is the context recently, in the journal film notes there was a very interesting article, which suggested the hypothesis that the entire film was invented with esenstein s sense of humor, but in general this remains a hypothesis, since the film is, in general, not so a lot can be extracted from it, but here, first of all, the prologue is rushed, because in the prologue we see just such a rhythmic sound experiment, and we can see, in fact, how isenstein, indeed, in this case, isenstein himself first came into contact with sound. So, in fact, thats why its important that they are in berlin for a reason, they sat and waited for a visa, especially since there is such a story that they arrived, and they were told that the invitation was cancelled, they need to wait for a new invitation, they need to organize it somehow, but they are also going to berlin in order to organize the european premiere of the general line, esenstein has finally finished, he has been making the film for 3 years, now it needs to be shown, and when they arrive in europe, they understand that this also needs to be voiced, moreover, zenshteina already exists a prepared plan, he knows that he has a composer there, Edmund Meisel , who voiced both potemkin and october for him, he has such plans, he wants to use termenvox , he takes the invention, this electronic Musical Instrument of the theremin lion and assumes that they will take this machine, where you type with your hand near the antenna, and you hear these sounds, higher and lower, yes, they will take these sounds, completely unrealistic , and put it. On a soviet village, instead they have to earn a living what they have to do, here in france they are filming a sentimental romance, in switzerland they are making a film popularizing abortion, a film called womens misfortune, women s happiness, a hymn to the art of medicine, which tise, in turn, is working on to a large extent, and after that, finally they already in the thirtieth year they were sent to hollywood on the steamboat europe, but we have a small piece from. A swiss film , by the way, where in the general plan there is a birth, its not just a woman lying, its Grigory Alexandrov lying, we know this from memories and alexandrov even have to stay in europe. For a week or two, esenstein leaves with tise, who has signed a contract with his new producer , jesse lasky from paramount is traveling first class on this liner, and alexander, it means, is there finishing off this sentimental romance, Something Like that, and hes traveling alone, moreover , he is detained in new york, esenstein is already visiting celebrities and suddenly writes that grisha is on aliceland, alice island is a place where those immigrants who had something wrong with their documents or were unworthy of someone american society, maybe they are disabled, so they wont be able to earn any money, and there will be a burden on society, and the group that goes to hollywood, its already falling apart a little, there are some tensions in this, nevertheless, in hollywood they end up in quite a lot a difficult situation , because when they were invited, there was a passion for the avantgarde in fashion and they thought that they could give isenstein something to try, hollywood was making very good money, it was possible. Do something experimentally avantgarde and make advertising out of it, but when isenstein arrived, the Great Depression broke out; in general, hollywood was no longer ready to take risks. For me, isenstein is a person who is so in front of. Put together cinematic montage, how we understand a work of art, how we create it, if we say we talk about why watch the film viva mexico now, then my answer would be in order to understand how something is created, yes, how it can not be created, how it can then exist on its own, how on this journey we see, well, we see mexico, lets say, ethnography , we see not just what it is, we see it through certain eyes, we see it through the eyes of tise and through the eyes of esenstein, when the film had not yet been edited, when people saw other peoples editing versions, they said, but its all the same, we understand that this is ezenstein, because we see how the shots are constructed, it cant be anyone else, this is the work, it manifests itself no matter how it is edited, and we see the world through the eyes of these people, and we can, at this stage, and of a halffinished film , edited later, somehow penetrate into the workshop , into the kitchen, this is, in general, just incompleteness, but we know from einstein from texts, from photographs, from memoirs about in it, we know what a living figure he is, and in fact, when we see that this material has not yet been edited by esenstein himself, and despite the fact that it will never be edited by esenstein himself. Unfortunately, but nevertheless, we are present all the time, as if next to him, that is, thereby we we find ourselves really involved in his laboratory, in his Creative Process and. And this is probably the most interesting thing in this case, this was the ezenstein 125 podcast, film historian natalya ryavchikova and cinematographer arrtem sopin, goodbye. Russia, sacred, our power, russia, our beloved country, helping will, great glory, yours on earth, glory. All the fatherland, fraternal peoples, union of negovy , rolled image of the people