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OPINION: Hookup culture: Why do body counts rise if orgasms don t?
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The Tricolour Sex Column: The Orgasm Gap vs. the Pleasure Gap
The Kinky Scholar talks about how we should stop talking about the orgasm gap and instead discuss the pleasure gap
February 11, 2021
Equating orgasms with sexual pleasure is just not how sex works.
The opinions expressed in this piece reflect only the experiences of a brown Queer Muslim cisgendered woman whose upbringing included poor access to sex education and reproductive healthcare. No article, author, or publication can accurately reflect the experiences of all women. Please read with caution and kindness.
If you haven’t heard about it by now, ‘The Orgasm Gap’ is the concept that some folks, depending on their gender or sexuality, are more or less likely to achieve an orgasm during sexual encounters with one or multiple partners.
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San Francisco mother Sara Lopes didn t even realize she d lost a part of herself until she got it back. I had been so consumed with both children and starting to work again that we hadn t had sex in maybe a year and a half, says Lopes, 41, whose first name has been changed to protect her privacy. Figuring out how to have dinners prepped, remembering to buy rain boots, paying our credit card bill, scheduling play dates, worrying about summer camps. I couldn t even think about my social life, let alone my sex life. Only after Lopes and her husband instituted Saturday night sex did the truth dawn on her: I had needs that I had absolutely forgotten about.