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Q: “How do I deal with a disrespectful teenager? My son often hurls mean, snarky comments our way with no restraint. Most of our interactions end in shouting matches, where he doesn’t hesitate to say that he ‘hates’ me. How can we make things better?”
When I work with families like yours in behavioral parent training – a therapy designed to improve a child’s behaviors – we always start by drawing the line between normal teenage attitudes and unhealthy behaviors that actually impair family functioning and need to be improved.
When the parent-teen relationship gets to this point, the primary focus should be on rebuilding connection and creating positive moments. This process can take a considerable amount of time, as parents have to think hard about genuine, neutral ways they can spend time and engage with their teen – without these moments turning negative, as seems to be the prevailing pattern for your family at the moment.
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