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Many years ago, I started getting emails for other Carmen Machados. One in Chicago, another in Arizona, another in Florida. I’ve gotten a photo of a daffy, grinning pit bull in a Santa Claus hat and endless reminders to update gym memberships and once, alarmingly, a discharge report from a Midwestern ER. I also get emails in Portuguese for an unclear number of Brazilian Carmen Machados. Sometimes the emails appear to be about real estate or finance; sometimes, students emailing their professor. I say “appear” because I am not Brazilian and don’t speak Portuguese. I used to try and use translation software to create some sort of response “I am not the Carmen Machado you’re looking for!” but it didn’t seem to make a difference, and so I gave up.