[cheers and applause] greg: yes! yes! yes, indeed! ha ha ha ha! happy monday, everybody. so imagine you have a big guard dog to keep an eye on your home and you depend on the dog to keep your family safe in a tough neighborhood. now imagine the dog disappears for four days. would you notice? if the answer is yes, then you re normal. if the answer is no, you re joe biden. [laughter] greg: because how the hell did he not know his secretary of defense was missing for four full days. it s not like he s hunter on a crack binge only shoaling up to ask for more cash for meth and antibiotics. this is the secretary of defense. in case you missed it and the white house hopes the world did lloyd austin was admitted to a hospital. we wish him a speedy recovery for whatever it is. knowing the military now, i hope he s not pregnant. but the fact that we don t know what the problem is, that s the problem. shouldn t the american people be told when our top defense officials in the icu
this texan just tested positive for barbecue sauce cohost of fox and friends weekend, will cain! [cheers and applause] greg: this pyro lights a fire in my heart, cohost of fox and friends first todd piro! [cheers and applause] greg: she s like a bass drum. she s like a base drum. makes a lot of noise and gets hit on by marching bands. fox news contributor kat timpf! greg: and his forearms are the size of four arms. my massive side kick and the nwa world heavy weight champion tyrus! [cheers and applause] greg: all right. before we get to some new stories it s friday so let s do this. greg s leftovers. greg: it s leftovers where i read jokes i didn t read this week as always it s my first time reading these so if they suck i don t care. in an interview this week former new jersey governor chris christie is considering running in 2024. [laughter] greg: the bad news, he means for president. you could see that one coming. much like him. ha because he s a big. nice wa
His side of the story. like what happened? like, sir, you seem to be going through something. greg: yeah, what s going on kat: are you good? anything i can do for you, sir? greg: yeah, it s hard to talk to somebody when they re that i can educate look i can that. but you know what i noticed when i was watching that tyler? i think we just figured out a way to remove protesters. if you have soapy water, you pour soapy water on the ground, right, and you just slide them. right? tyler: right. that would be great if they weren t doing it on the bridges where we drive but that s what i call gender fluid right there. you know how he came up with that idea? we should get naked appear go down there and jump in the water. greg: they say mental illness so then you have to stop and go, oh. but i often wonder if that is being overused a lot kat: i think that this situation, i don t think it s a far cry. greg: i had a friend who dove into an aquarium at a las vegas
Coach jim laganella and you focus on dan hurley s boxers. greg: i think it s weird a typical guy. that s the excuse why i m not changing my boxers. come up with something more creative. kat, what s going on in michigan? kat: okay, not much. so i m not from cleveland, but i decided to pretend to be from cleveland because this bus driver is no longer a bus driver after this. greg: why, what happened? kat: we have a video, yeah. i m sick of you i m sick of all of this [bleep] i m done with it. emma going to start kicking some serious [bleep]. do you hear me? yes. my butt s going to be so far up your [bleep] it s going to [bleep]. i m done with you. greg: tell me, what happened? who is this? what s going on kat: to be clear that was a school bus driver, no longer. but i think that she has like a career elsewhere, you know?