might as well have fun, so that s what i did. once we got married. i was like, great. and then there were questions of, are you going to have children. he said to me, this is not a maybe we will, maybe we won t thing to me. this is an obviously, we will. and i said to him, well, for me, it s a, if it happens it happens. if it doesn t, it doesn t. and looking into his eyes and saying now what if we never have children, all of that was on the table, and it created a deeper connection with my husband, because it was an opportunity for honesty. and we laid the ground work for later the real serious hard work of partnering. we were on a sky trip in utah.