This is our market that will be great stand Lemonade Stand that took im trying to get the weird ones i got. Us four days to do i was just look at these i have all show stuff here colors are you kidding meught what woue oh, my god, khloe would kill still care for you me if i showed these tel jimmy come on. Fun is we could use it as a desk okay. Like daddys desk at work and i ill do a group one. Your brothers apartment when life was can read you some jokes. These ones arent that bad like a wishing wel you want to hear some jokes . Yeah. 4 00 am and raising hell damn i knew you oh so well but theyre like me and my friends. We have amazing show tonight. Never thought wed eve have t go without take you over this is like maybe 2009. Jimmy wow. Anybody else hands down Kim Kardashian west is my guest. Were the typ of melody well be zooming with her you really are going back there. That dont fade out dont fade ou those are high school ones. Cant fade out didnt didnt i talking about her new thos
Always been anti democrat and republican and in my neighborhood up there all of a sudden i started seeing nice barkley signs for congress or senate. Barkley barkley. Whos this barkley this Independence Party at the time. And so on. I realized that the majority of the. Great many of them were disgruntled democrats and republicans who feel the systems failing and they want something new. I felt that way also in. The long story shorter. Walk in it so were walking. Crazy but theyre going crazy for me. Good deed leaning over to me and whisper in there didnt have to whisper it was pretty loud he said see the wrong guys running that was the. Thats the wife of my you know it was my hometown was a little embarrassing. But the north completely really did. And i just wonder this would translate into popular and thats where the idea how my hand in thats worth of thought started we had a great big Budget Surplus because the economy in the ninetys was super strong and because of the taxation rate in
Can i get you a drink . Name your poison. Dairy, it gives me terrible gas. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, weight botchers and real news tonight talks to South Carolina voters. Plus, stephen welcomes tyra banks and wildlife expert coyote peterson featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hi how are you . Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah hey happy friday. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen. Stephen happy friday. Lets go into the weekend strong, everybody yes thank you cheers and applause hello, my friends. Amazing. What an amazing crowd. What an amazing city. What an amazing world. How great to be alive. Welcome, one and all, to the late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. With all the news about the coronavirus, i hope everyones doing everything they can to stay safe. If you need information about how to stay healthy, dont ask donald trump, because were learning
Its also his dogs name coincidentally. The coronavirus this coronavirus is all i hear about from whoo . [ laughter ] people are selling off stocks and buying up toilet paper. And if you are buying up toilet paper, i have a question. Why are you buying up toilet paper . I think youve got the body upside down because people are canceling events. The south by southwest festival in austin was canceled over the weekend. Theres talk they may hold nba games with no fans in the crowd. Italy the country is closed. For real. You know, i try not to get too worked up about this sort of thing, but then, i saw this headline over the weekend. And for me, now this is serious. Costco is pulling their free samples. [ laughter ] trump needs to send mike pence to costco to figure this out right now. This is also scary news for costco shoppers. This was from the weekend too. O. J. Posted, coronavirus . Whos afraid . [ laughter ] i dont know. Are those two separate questions or one . Because whenever youre
Finally i read that abc is working on a new version of the bachelor for the elderly [ light laughter ] im not sure its necessary. Theres already a place where old people can meet. Its called the democratic debates. We have a great show give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a fun show tonight. Supertalented show. One of my favorite guys, nick jonas is here oh, i love nick jonas. [ cheers and applause teve a delight. Jimmy hes awesome steve man is a delight jimmy love that guy. Also, one of the funniest people out there i love him, too. Steve coogan is here steve come on. [ cheers and applause jimmy good movie hes really good and we have a great were so lucky we get to have broadway performances because were here in new york and broadways right down the street and theyre so talented we have a performance from the new Broadway Musical featuring the music of bob dylan girl from the North Country is here tonight. [ cheers and applause im excited