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Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20241003

[ cheers and applause ] greg: yes, yes, you you should be clapping. I would be clapping if i were you. Happy wednesday everybody. The performance at last night s debate was panned up by both parties now talk of replacing him with a sharper more capable candidate. In a bazaar gaffe he said he was school shooters friends. School shooters denied this not wanting to associate with him. Ana navarro said of j. D. Vance to be a shape shifter. She s jealous he was able to shape shift without i was and pick. Throughout the debate he was seen writing on a notepad what could he have been writing. Nothing wrong with loving sports and men and sportsmen. Speaking of he called himself a knucklehead for saying he was in china during the denman square massacre i guess he needs to take this picture down from his website. Throughout the debate he had a deer in headlights look on his face looking like he. [ bleeps ] his pants according to someone familiar to the situation. Jimmy carter turns 100 this week ....

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Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20241001

[applause] greg: yes! yes! i know. Awesome, thank you. In all honesty this success is getting kind of boring. [laughter] happy monday, everyone. This friday joker number 2 arrives in theatres and it is about a mentally ill man who terrorizes society with his mentally unstable female sidekick. But most if you have already seen it. You saw that one coming. Had the crowds like here we go. Earlier today president biden delivered remarks on the devastation caused by hurricane helene. He comforted victims by reminding them how he wants once survived the flood in an arc. Reportedly tim walz is nervous about tomorrow night s presidential debate. He has not been this nervous scents that time he ran out of tampons. Doug emhoff was told that he has a quote, reshape the perception of masculinity. In those days a guy like that might have talked to the into keeping the baby. [laughter] archaeologists in china have discovered a 36yearold mommy buried with pieces of cheese. One ticket to china, please ....

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Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20240925

[ ] feels good to be on top. And the bottom. Happy tuesday everyone. Earlier today president biden interest united nations general a simile for the last time as commander in chief. He said he will miss their colourful costumes and the way they sing. At the small world after all. Earlier today the president of iran also addressed the u. N. Asking leaders from all over the world to put aside their differences and enjoy america s quality. He then led the entire assembly in arousing performance of death to america. But in a sign of goodwill is representative with a monogram pager. [cheering and applause] [laughter] so the president of türkiye also addressed the general assembly today. Causing 1 man to ask, did someone say türkiye? new footage of an unidentified hump in scotland s loch ness suggests that there might be 2 loch ness monsters. 3 more and they will have a show. [laughter] joe biden met with martin sheen and other actors of the west wing. Sheens it was nice to meet someone ....

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Transcripts For FOXNEWS Gutfeld 20240918

Greg: yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I like my haircut. Happy tuesday, everyone. Scientists have discovered what they call a third state of existence. Somewhere between life and death. No kidding. Democrats responded to the second assassination attempt on trump by turning down the rhetoric by comparing the former president to mussolini. In a rare sign of unity, maxine waters has offered to schedule his next tee time. The biden a ministration has promised to beef up security for president trump. Using the same agents that protect kamala from reporters. A neighbor of the accused gunman says the family was weird and kept a live horse in their home. Further proof that the suspect was unstable. [ laughter ] greg: it s okay to boo that one. I felt the same way. An investigation into the immigrant crisis in springfield, ohio reveals that auto accidents have increased four fold. I did not know the haitians were all women. Rfk junior is being investigated for allegedly cutting off the head ....

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