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COM The Colbert Report November 19, 2014

They say giuliani cleaned it up, but new yorkers still live with the looming threat of the ground. laughter thats why theyre called the mean streets. And this accident caps off a week that was already no bueno for bono. Theres word that bono from u2 lost his luggage. His private learjet losing the rear cargo door 8,000 feet above the ground, luggage flying out. Investigators say the door and several pieces of luggage landed somewhere on the outskirts of germanys capital. Thats right. Bonos bags fell out of his private plane. And after three days of intense searching, bono. Still hasnt found what hes looking for. cheers and applause naturally, this incident set off a wild frenzy of speculation that can only be described as the today show. laughter can you imagine finding bonos luggage . How exciting. Dressing like a rock star. Youre plowing the fields, next thing you know, bonos luggage falls from the sky. Stephen yeah, i mean, can you imagine what its like to be minding your own busine ....

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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart November 18, 2014

From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central jon wohl come to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. My guest tonight, laura poitras, she is the direct heer of citizenfour, a tremendous documentary about Edward Snowden and the nsa case. First, first, illegal immigration. Years of inconsistent policy enforcement. The fact that everybody want to get with us. laughter i think theyre ready for the jelly. They have left us with roughly 11 million illegal aliens with only one showing any interest in going home. laughter and, red rum. Different. Different finger, different finger. Ill never forget how on february 14th, 2013, i logged on to google hangout to ill never forget this. To find out if our president would a ....

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COM The Colbert Report September 14, 2013

Stephen are you telling me you had a photo shoot with a bunch of gay people with duct tape and you have no recollection of what happened. This was about three minutes. They walked me in, put the tape on, put the thing on my cheek, took the picture and i was gone. Im not quite clear. Stephen i think youre gay married now. I think are you gay married. cheers and applause okay pikes place market which is in seattle, they salmon at each other. Would you help lee live out a lifelong dream and throw some salmon back and forth with me. Great, lets do this thing. cheers and applause stephen whooo whooo congressman, thank you for talking to me today. Great pleasure. Stephen im fat. Washington 7th, put it up on the big board cheers and applause stephen looks like Harold Channing just dropped some more a stephen welcome back, everybody. Thank you so much. Thanks so much. Hey, how are you doing, everybody. I dont know about you but im having ....

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