those also. but first let s look at tonight s guest. he sells his fans razors in case they prefer suicide. [applause] can we go back really quick? doesn t he look like a member of kiss without the makeup? she is such a whiz they put her on philly cheesesteak fox news business anchor lawrence and eddie. [applause] and to terrify the minions. charlie her. and finally she is like barbie small and one with fake hair. cap cat kat timpf. now before we get to some stories and we had plenty of them let s do this. leftovers. we will be the jokes we did not use this week so if they suck we will tie joe to the table and that monkeys rip off his face. it might be an improvement. he is homely. brian kilmeade took on a wrestling bout this week in a match called the unstoppable force versus the unwatchable object. a contract of tyrus power against the skills he learned playing soccer that bore me to death. and austrian growth will just grocery store was evacuated after a spider whose bite c
Passive. greg: up next, california prosecutors will not press charges against the 7-11 employees who went viral defending themselves with a stick. a shout out to the audience who applauds. and audience after my heart. the robbery suspect to us since been arrested after learning he was connected to multiple robberies. surprise. they robbed more than one place? you mean recidivism actually exist? i had no idea. you can hear it right now the left says oh my god this will greenlight vigilante and people have their own frontier justice. yes that s why in the first place they said we will
The unhinged citizenry. we find them in the house. homeless people? snakes. greg: lauren? my story is depressing. it was given to me. these are not my dogs. this stranger is popping the champagne and the dog is looking so cute. they want to drink the champagne. they just want the cork. it s so depressing. go for the champagne. how much does he drink that they know it is about to happen? i was a server once opening a bottle of wine in front of everybody. i was for years.
A piece of advice to enroll in things that are challenging you. a service journalist. you have the hardest job you get in front of an audience telling jokes that rarely, if ever land. i m not one of those comedians that needs laughter. [laughter] they are so needy. greg: that something i admire about you that you can just do in our and not get a simple laugh. thinking of western reserve.com. but i guess i knew. i learned as a kid we worked at a small efficiency apartment under the stage at carnegie h hall. greg: really? know. greg: you had me. [laughter] i had you on that?
Had to get some chickens and they start to lay eggs but the problem is you have to get there before the snakes do. so now we battle the snakes for our eggs. there you have it. at your house? yes the nesting boxes we use the us mail crates. don t come at me u.s. postal service. greg: hunter biden. speaking of snakes. this is the thing when you go out to collect eggs that s what you run into. greg: that s a great story. why do you live there? been have you walked outside in new york? i would rather see an animal go to the bathroom in front of me. technically they are not animals. greg: but he would rather face a dangerous serpent than