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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131025

(cheers and applause) stephen: welcome to the report. thank you for joining us. thank you very much. thank you. folks, thank you so much. self-en, stephen, steve ebb! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) folks, thank you so much. thank you for joining us. folks, if you know me an i hope you do, if you watch this show, you know i will do anything in my power to support our military short of enlisting. (laughter) frankly, folks, i cannot even look at our so-called commander in chief. jimmy, can i get a picture of him please. thank you. (laughter) he is always weakening our military preparedness and unity cohesion. first he gets rid of don t ask don t tell. suddenly an officer and a gentleman sounds like date night. and now, now this. the department of defence is thinking about spending millions and millions of your dollars to buy our marines new hats or as they call them covers. and here s the problem. appa

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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131026

well, then si have to assume the new hat is a neon mesh and secured with a ball gag. all right, jim, let s see this new girlie hat-as trophy next to the current deny. oh, o my god, look at that i just cannot tell which one is the new one. (laughter) which one oh, it s the one on the right, the one on the right, yeah, hate those. it s so feminine, i m just ovulating looking at them. (laughter) this hat might as well be made of tampons and copies of eat, pray, love. i mean those two inches of extra brim is the difference between marine and maureen. now sure, the department of defence says the proposed hat is based on the one worn by world war i hero and two time medal of honor winner sergeant major dan daley. what does that guy know about being manly. he s wearing two necklaces and a broach. all that is missing is the matching earrings. mark my words, folks. next obama will have the army rangers in barratts and dress the navy up in little sailor suits. we re not selling cracke

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11 Democratic candidates will run unopposed in legislative races

Eleven candidates, mostly incumbents, won legislative races Friday as they did not draw opponents before a qualifying deadline, while the Florida Democratic Party hit a goal of having candidates vie for every seat up for election.

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Democrats, many from South Florida, lock up 11 legislative seats

Eleven candidates, mostly incumbents and many from South Florida, won legislative races Friday as they did not draw opponents before a qualifying deadline, while the Florida Democratic Party hit a goal of having candidates vie for every seat up for election.

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