And i d sit in this rocking chair and stare at the wall. i wanted everything to stop. i wanted to stop feeling. and it was actually at that point that it all turned around, that i made a decision that i couldn t live my life that way. i didn t know how we d survive another week like that. and i made this decision that i would wake up in the morning and say this is my last day alive. and then i would believe it. and i did. the first day i did it, i was scared to death. i woke up and said this is my last day alive. what would i do with it? would i care if my son has a tantrum out? would you care about the stares from other people? or would i give my son the best day he could ever have? so we went out and we failed. we went out and we failed. failures and all, we just keep going back. the wonderful story about max and our church and it s so important to me because there are all these families that are home on sunday morning, and i don t think our churches realize
Of our church. then this past fall something wonderful happened, because max got a little braveer and he crept into the church at the end. i was so proud of him and i m leaning over him saying, max, great job being in church. well, the lights came up, the music ended and max shot out of his chair and started shaking hands with everybody saying good job sitting, great job being in church. and i thought now that is a greeter. so max is now the first person people meet when they come into our church. and i think that says [applause] all are welcome. remember something that happened to us when we were two years. max came. we re going to see how this came there.
How significant the problem is, because we re not able to cross the threshold to get there to say we need help. i started to bring max back to church a few years ago we had been five years at home. i thought there was one thing he loved about church when he was young. he loved it to be over. we went back when it was over. it s not just autistic children who feel that way. [laughter] so we went back at the end of church. we called it backward church. a man came up to max and asked him to help stack chairs. so max started helping out. and at the end of the service, he came back to max and put his hand on his shoulder and said max we could use you on the grunt crew. that s the team that cleans up the church afterwards. he was so proud to be asked. it just took that one invitation. and for six years we went to backwards church, and max became a central part
Of our church. then this past fall something wonderful happened, because max got a little braveer and he crept into the church at the end. i was so proud of him and i m leaning over him saying, max, great job being in church. well, the lights came up, the music ended and max shot out of his chair and started shaking hands with everybody saying good job sitting, great job being in church. and i thought now that is a greeter. so max is now the first person people meet when they come into our church. and i think that says [applause] all are welcome. remember something that happened to us when we were two years. max came. we re going to see how this came there.
How significant the problem is, because we re not able to cross the threshold to get there to say we need help. i started to bring max back to church a few years ago we had been five years at home. i thought there was one thing he loved about church when he was young. he loved it to be over. we went back when it was over. it s not just autistic children who feel that way. [laughter] so we went back at the end of church. we called it backward church. a man came up to max and asked him to help stack chairs. so max started helping out. and at the end of the service, he came back to max and put his hand on his shoulder and said max we could use you on the grunt crew. that s the team that cleans up the church afterwards. he was so proud to be asked. it just took that one invitation. and for six years we went to backwards church, and max became a central part