Number 25, take me back. Number 24, i can be a better boyfriend. Number 23, im sorry i backed over your cat. Im not drinking anymore. And if we do get back together, these are the top activities we would do. Number 25, get you a new cat. Number 24, go out for drinks with your friends who no longer talk to me. Thats right, im drinking again and drinks brings us to our number one album of the year, beyonces hope you enjoyed the late shows top albums of 2016. Call me karen, please announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, stephen welcomes Octavia Spencer, comedian john mulane and musical guest travis scott, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york cheers and applause . Stephen hey thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much welcome to the late show, everybody. I am your host, Stephen Colbert, and check ones calendar because right now we are 43 days from the inauguration, and donald trutinump con to fill out his cabinet. Watching trump pick these people is like watching your nana get a spongebath; you know it has to yesterday, trump named scott pruitt, Oklahoma Attorney general and sworn enemy of the e. P. A. , to be the head of the whats the word . The e. P. A. I would change my phone number, or else hes going to get some pretty angry calls from himself. There is a trend of trump appointing people to head things theyre against. Im looking forward to Surgeon General joe camel. cheers and applause stop it stop piano riff this is the nicest audience i think that weve ever had. Very lovely people. So what kind of e. P. A. Head will pruitt be . Well, hes repeatedly explained that he thinks the states are in the best position to regulate local industries. Makes sense. The mississippi river, they just tell those chemicals, remember, you stop at the Arkansas State line. Youre on your honor, okay . No further jon stop at the line, boy stephen look, mister laughter trump also appointed w. W. E. Billionaire and woman whos always in the front row of aqua aerobics, linda mcmahon, to lead the Small Business administration, which natural fit because w. W. E. , of course, stands for wee wittle enterpwise. laughter piano riff i think its great that were bringing wrestling into the Trump Administration because, when the jabronis in congress try to block trumps agenda, lindas going to reach for the folding chair. laughter diamond cutter listen up laughter for now, trumps still living in trump tower, which is costing the city of new york 500,000 a day in extra security. Hes not even president yet and trumps already done the impossible made it more expensive to live in new york. laughter to cover the cost, mayor bill de blasio has asked the u. S. Government for 35 million, but Congress Says theyll p 7 million. The rest of that cost will fall on new york city taxpayers, which, fun fact, does not include donald trump. laughter as far as we know. audience reacts booing we dont know. We dont know. Ugh met with mark burnet to start planning his inauguration, mark burnet, the reality tv producer behind shows like the apprentice, survivor, and the peoples choice awardspeoples choice, technically this year, was Hillary Clinton. cheers and applause doesnt matter. Still going to be president. And in the meeting, burnett es with a parade up fifth avenue in manhattan. What . No. We just had the thanksgiving day parade. We dont need to watch another bloated cartoon dragged down the street. cheers and applause that was a pretty good balloon, wasnt it . Impression, i like that. Stephen its a skill. laughter and why hold a trump parade here in manhattan when Hillary Clinton won 87 of the vote . Thats like holding a gay pride parade in mike pences backyard. Makes no sense. applause now, for some people, its been hard dealing with the trump victory, but, in these tough times, its important to look for inspiration wherever you can find which is why i am looking to the most Inspiring Team in the n. F. L. , the Cleveland Browns. cheering yeah. If you dont like football, you might be a Cleveland Browns fan because they are currently 012. They have not won a single game this season. So, technically, i am as good of a Football Team as the Cleveland Browns right now. applause but having the worst team in the n. F. L. Isnt getting the city of cleveland down because it was announced yesterday that plans for a Cleveland Browns perfect season parade are moving forward. Thats right. If the Cleveland Browns can manage to lose every single game this season, the city will throw them a parade. Yeah never say die jon now thats a thought applause stephen its like the old saying life gives you lemons, those lemons probably play football better than the Cleveland Browns. This is one parade i can get behind. Im rooting for the Cleveland Browns to lose all their remaining games. Come on, fellas you cant do it leave it all in the locker room and then go out there and give it 10 . . Weve got a great show for you tonight. Octavia spencer is here cheers and applause but when we return, well show you the top rejected holiday cards. Stick around. Lips appear to age faster than other skin. No worries now theres chapstick total hydration. Its 100 natural, agedefying formula is clinically proven to provide healthier, more youthful looking lips. Chapstick. Put your lips first. Hey ba an borrow for the Holiday Party . Of course p ready to eat my dust . Too bad i already filled up on raisins. Kelloggs raisin bran. Deliciously heart healthy. Life was over. Wearing depend underwear has allowed me to fully engage in my life and im meeting people. Unlike the bargain brand, depend fitflex underwear is more flexible to mo. Reconnect with the life youve been missing. Get a free sample at depend. Com. Reconnect with the life youve been missing. Jack be nimble, jack be quick, jack knocked over a candlestick onto the shag carpeting. And his pants ignited into flames, causing him to stop, drop and roll. Luckily jack recently had geico help him with renters insurance. Jack got full replacement and now has new pants he ordered from banana republic. Visit geico. Com . cheers and applause stephen give it up for jon batiste and stay human, everybody cheers and applause stephen i feel good. I feel free. I feel fine just being me. I feel good today. One of the things that makes me feel good on a dayreich today is holidays are coming up. Jon oh, yeah. Stephen its an exciting jon its a great time. Stephen yeah, and there are all the preparations you do for the holiday, people get very busy about it. You going home . Jon yeah, going home, bringing gifts home, giving gifts out before i leave here. Stephen oh, thats cool. Have you gotten me anything, jon . Jon i cant tell you yet. Weve got to wait till the time. Stephen you cant even tell me whether you got me something . Im not asking what you got me. I got you something. Jon whatid stephen im not telling you. Thats how it works laughter no pressure. A lot to do at christmastime. Got to guy presents, trim the tree, make the eggnog whatever eggnog is. I think there is egg in there. Im not sure what nog is. Tastes like bourbon and pancake batter, the consistency of it. Jon Something Like that. Holiday greeting cards. Theyre a wonderful way to tell your loved ones, i went to the drug store. But even the best holiday cards had to start somewhere. Somebody had to work hard to write them. So tonight were going to look at some early drafts of greeting cards in our segment, first drafts cheers and applause thats stupid cheers and applause of course, long of first drafts know that we look at the first draft of something before it became the thing you know and love. Tonight, were going to look at first drafts of christmas cards before they were good enough to give to loved ones. Of course, to help me do that, i need a volunteer from the audience. Okay, lets go out there and find somebody. Help me out here. cheers and applause okay. Anybody . Name . Tova. Stephen tova, would you like to help me with first drafts . Sure. Stephen lets do it. Come on tova, everybody cheers and applause thank you very much. Tova, this is for you. There you go. Talk into that and then the people at home can hear you. All right. Oh, know what we need first of all . We need our christmas sweaters. Th there you go. cheers and applause clash with my top . Stephen you look fantastic, tova. No, no, looks incredible. Now, tova, where are you from . Delaware, originally pennsylvania. Stephen okay. And what are you doing in the city . Im with my dear friend bobby mccullough, and we grew up together out there in pennsylvania. Cookie . No, thank you. Ive given sugar up. Stephen would you like cold milk . Yes, i didnt give that up. Stephen okay, wonderful. This is what i need you to do for me, tova, is here are the holiday cards i will be showing to people. You hand me the next one in the pile when i call for it. You up for that . Yes. Stephen all right. What are you doing for christmas . You going to be home, travel . No, im going to be home and i have two wonderful boys i just love dealer. Stephen thats nice. What are their names . Michael and jamie. Stephen are they getting you something for christmas, do you think . They better if they know whats good for them. applause stephen first card. Heres a nice one that says, joy to you and yours this Holiday Season very sweet. But the first draft said, i cant remember your kids names. Happens, right . Yeah. Sometimes and i would call them the name of the family dog sometimes. Stephen what is the dogs name . Docksy. Shes passed away, though. Utephen docksy . Dotsy. Stephen do you ever still call your children dotsy now . No, my memorys better now that theyre older. Stephen heres another one. Here we have a nice manger scene on the front, wishing you the gift of faith, the blessing of hope and the peace of his love at christmas and always. Jon oh, pretty. Stephen but the first draft said, i know youre an atheist, but please pretend for grandma. cheers and applause i have family members like that. Stephen are you a person of fairkts tova . Yes. Stephen okay, great. Good for you. laughter heres one that says, joy to the world. Thats a nice message. But the first draft said, i sell weed now. A similar its a similar sentiment. Similar sentiment. Now, where did you grow up . I grew up well, mainly in pennsylvania. My dad was a 22yearold seabee navy guy. Stephen so you went around the world . Well, he did. We would be at different ports and he would come home. Stephen did he tell you you chasing him . No, i think my mom was sometimes running from him, but he found us all the time. Stephen thats a heart warming holiday story. Thank you. applause thank you, tova. Heres one that says, may all of this good cheer last throughout the year. But the first draft said why are you such a bleep the rest of the time . In case people are watching, is there anything you want this year that you want to throw a hint out there for people because there are still a lot of shopping days left . Another dog. Stephen another dog . Mmhmm. Stephen what would you name the new dog . Lucky. Stephen lucky. Yeah. Stephen wow. Lucky that its that i would be lucky to have the dog. Stephen oh, that is really sweet. That is very sweet. applause outside, and it says, christmas is not a date, it is a state of mind. Thats a very sweet idea. But the first draft said im high right now. Happy labor day. laughter and we dont want to exclude our jewish friends, so heres one with a menorah, and it says wishing you love and happiness all hannukah long. But the first draft says this was the only hanukkah card they laughter applause now for the final first draft card. Heres a classic sentiment im dreaming of a white christmas. But the first draft said, make America Great again. applause tova, thank you so much for being here holiday cards. Happy holidays to you all, no matter which one you celebrate. Just give people cash they love it back with Octavia Spencer thank you so much that made plastics that make them lighter . The lubricants that improved fuel economy. Even technology to make engines more efficient. What company does all this . Exxonmobil, thats who. Were working on all these things to make cars better. . cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody my first guest tonight is an Academy Award winning actor help and the divergent series. Her new film is Hidden Figures. Please welcome Octavia Spencer. cheers and applause . Stephen good seeing you so nice to see you again ne stephen you were on with us last year. We had a lovely time. Had a ballast time. Stephen you seem to have a lot of fun wherever you go. Can i show this picture . Yes stephen you were at the u. N. Last week . Unicef. I was at the emcee at the unicef ball. Stephen you ran into a very interesting public figure when you were there. How did this figure come about . Actually, i came out of the bathroom and hillary was there and it was, like, oh, my god, my hands are wet, and i love you seriously. Stephen it must be interesting to run into her. Its like running into sasquatch, super famous but you dont see her anyplace. Did you ask how she was . I just told her i love her. Stephen she looks happy. As much as you might want to be president , its a hard job. I know. I different, but we will learn, wont we . Stephen yes, well persevere. You have something a lot of people dont have, i dont have, you have a day named after you in your home state of alabama. I dont have that in south carolina. You have Octavia Spencer day. We were talking about holiday food before the break. March 21 . Yes, meatloaf, turkey or regular. Stephen i enjoy all my meats loafed. Anything under a thick layer of ketchup and im good. I will eat it. I love meatloaf, i just love it. Stephen did you make it yourself . Is it a family thing . I try to make it, but im not a cook. So, you know, i just kind of pitch my friends out and hope they make it. You know who makes an excellent mean meatloaf melissa. Stephen how did you learn this about her . We were all really, really poor and we would have game night. It was the ugliest meatloaf ever known, but she would make a giant meatloaf for 40 people and i would always show up with my togo bags. Stephen nice, and a spatula. Its wonderful. Stephen your new movie is extraordinary story of people coming together in the Mercury Program for n. A. S. A. , and specifically the africanamerican women who i did not know were the human computers, the people doing the calculations for launch and reentry. Yes. Stephen and specifically the story tells about getting john glenn into space, the First American to orbit the earth three times in five hours. Yeah. Steen special bo bo poignancy. We recorded this just this afternoon and we just learned john glenn died. What did he mean to you before you did this movie . John glenn was the touchstone and we focused on the who got to go to space, but he was an honorable man. There is a moment in the film that he says he doesnt want to take the flight unless the johnson, and that says a lot, because she was a woman of color, and it was hard being in those rooms. And he showed a true act of faith by putting his life in her hands. Stephen how did this come about . You know, theres a sign, actually, in the movie at one point where the room where your characters are working which were real women which says colored computer because you were these women were mathematicians, polymaths. They can work in any field in mathematical sciences. They were all pretty brilliant, because i can only do one math, its called basic. laughter and Katherine Johnson was a brilliant mind and my character Dorothy Vaughn was the acting supervisor of the africanamerican computers and, assign people to different jobs, and she knew katherine was capable. Stephen ive always been fascinated by n. A. S. A. , and ive interviewed some of those early mercury astronauts and apollo guys and i was obsessed with this when i was younger. How come i didnt know this story . I didnt know about it either. When i got the memo i would be meeting about this, i thought it was historical ficti is because the arbiters of history are at that time the press. They were more focused on who was going but not how they got there. And these women were the inner mechanisms. They worked behind all the scenes. All the women, africanamerican and white worked behind the scenes, so there was very little regard to their contributions. Stephen besides being mathematicians and polymaths, yes, they were. Stephen and they looked out for each other. Yes, they did. Stephen we have a clip of some of the women looking out after each other at a picnic, i think. Hes coming over. Now why would he be doing that . Because mary is waving at him. No, im not ladies, fix your hands. Hi, colonel. Im dorothy. This is katherine. Not married, a widow with three girls, so well bed angels on earth is what we like to call dorothy. Slice of pie . You already have a slice of pie, dorothy. laughter applause stephen and its not just my understanding is that it wasnt just sort of the mental calculations and the pencil typical calculations they were doing, its that then how did they respond to that . Well, the computer wasnt like the portable thing that we know now. It would take up a room this size, and they had these men who were supposed to figure it out, and they couldnt get it to work, and Dorothy Vaughn, who she could, you know, disassemble and reassemble anything electronic, she figured out what the problem was and then realized that by getting the machine to work, it would put taught herself how to program it, and then taught all the other women how to program the i. B. M. So shes the mother of women who code movements. applause stephen im sort of obsessed with space travel. In the near future, it looks like civilians will be able to go to space. Do yo