Transcripts For KYW The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170427

Including so now that were all good, im going to take a moment to enjoy canadas beer in the most canadian way possible. Thanks, ryan gosling. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes America Ferrara Thomas Middleditch and dave and virginia grohl. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause stephen good to see you. Ladies and gentlemen welcome, welcome, everybody be down here, up there, down there, around the world. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Well, the big news out of washington, d. C. , just this afternoon, as the white house finally released trumps tax plan. That plan . Never release trumps taxes. laughter anything . Has he released them yet . No, no. So far, all hes released is his 1040 fu. To explain the plan, trump sent out his team of working class, blue collar, former Goldman Sachs executives, gary cohn and steve mnuchin. We are going to cut taxes and simplify the tax code by taking the current seven tax brackets we have today and reducing them to only three brackets a 10 bracket, a 25 bracket, and a 35 bracket stephen oh, yeah, baby, fewer brackets. Its really going to simplify your office pool during tax madness. , of course, look at the bractses. You can tell. Its poor versus middle class, and rich versus nobody, because they win. Now, the Trump Administration has a very strong rationale for simplifying the tax code. In 1935, we had a onepage tax form consisting of 34 lines with two pages of instructions. Today, the basic 1040 form has 79 lines and 211 pages of instructions. Glsk, 1935 was the height of the great depression, so the twopage form was just page one do you have money . Yes or no. And page two was so you would have something to eat. laughter but trumps made this plan even simpler because its just one page of doublespaced bullet points with some hefty margins. Im going to say its not realluconfidence building when really confidence building when your tax reform plan is half as long as the instructions to set up a vitamix. Hey, you guys remember about trump and russia and how maybe they have incriminating information on our president and are running him like a Foreign Agent and how members of his team were caught on tape by the f. B. I. Talking to known russian operatives after promising theyd never met them . Remember that . applause well, theres more. This time, its about former National Security advisor and before picture in a laxative ad, Michael Flynn. The president fired flynn back in february because flynn lied about discussing sanctions with the Russian Ambassador before trump took office. Turns out, that was just the tip of the corruptionberg, because we learned yesterday that flynn also didnt disclose that he had been paid more than 65,000 by companies linked to russia in 2015, including a 45,000 speaking fee from the kremlincontrolled tv network, russia today. And i believe we have some footage i know, its upsetting, its upsetting. We have footage of flynns speech. Ohohohohoooo lalala thank you for your service, sir. But its not like flynn was a double agent working for russia. He was a triple agent because he was also working for turkey, which paid him more than 500,000. Look, when youre National Security advisor, youve got to disclose foreign payments. Otherwise, you end up with a situation like this general flynn, should we bomb turkey . Hold on, sir. Let me check my venmo. And id hold off. And the chairman of the House Oversight committee, jason chaffetz, had what i would describe as a flaccid condemnation of flynns actions. From what youve seen so far, do you believe that Michael Flynn broke the law . Personally, i see no information or no data to support the notion that general flynn complied with the law. Stephen i have seen no information or data to confirm that flynn comflied with the law. There it is. You cant say anything stronger than that, darling, i have done the research, and i see no evidence that im not in love with you. Therefore, the only possible conclusion i can reach is will you marry me . laughter then chaffetz burrowed over to greta van sustrens new msnbc show to clarify. All right, to shorthand this, would you say after what you reviewed today that general flynn is in a heap of trouble . Yes, yes. Clearly, uhm, you cant do this. Stephen yes, you cant do this as George Washington said to benedict arnold, no fairsies, benny you promised to be on our side. Knock it off seriously jason chaffetz, please, just grow a pair and tell us what flynn did. cheers and applause you gutless Charles Schulz rough draft. Quick aside, quick aside. Congratulations to greta on her new, show for the record. If you remember, for years, her old show on fox news was called on the record. Because for the record, she no longer believes anything she said that was on the record. I look forward to seeing her future cnn show, please erase the record. As a political outsider, its taking donald trump a little while to get a handle on how stuff works in the nations capital. But theres one piece of white house protocol that trump has mastered, because according to the associated press, with the push of a red button placed on the resolute desk. Oh, god what happens when he pushes the button . A white house butler arrives with a coke for the president. laughter applause cheers and applause thank god. I was worried there. Hes just turning the oval office into an 8yearolds drawing of a dream treehouse. Thered be a button where i get coke wherever i want, and a slide into a ball pit, and bigfoot sleeps over and he teaches me karate. cheers and applause thats nice. Good for him. Good for him. He should have some fun. The president deserves to be refreshed. The pause that refreshes a butler bringing him his coke really living the dream. I believe we have a picture of the butler. There you go. Yeah, yeah. Heres some good news. On sunday, we got some unlikely allies in the war on terror when three isis fighters were killed by wild boars. That is both shocking and not halal. laughter and kind of not fair. applause theyre wild pigs. They cant eat them back. Its not fair. Of course, its not the first time animals have helped in the war on terror. After all, Osama Bin Laden was taken out by seal team six. Huge news in the world of sport. You know i love sport, jon. I talk about sport all the time. Jon all the time. Stephen it looks like baseballs Miami Marlins are going to be sold to a group led by derek jeter and jeb bush. Or as theyre known by their celebrity couple name derek jeter. applause fits. Fits. Works. Baseball apparently very popular with republican dynasties because this is true look who just got edged out from buying the team tagg romney. I think this isnt fair. I think a guy name tagg should really own a baseball team. The same way the knicks should be owned by billionaire. Dunk hooperson. Weve got a great show for you tonight. America ferrara is here. But when we return, ive got a special message. From jesus. Stick around. Its crispety. Its crunchety. Its a oneofakind experience. Butterfinger. Theres nothing like it. Im dr. Kelsey mcneely and some day you might be calling me an energy farmer. Energy lives here. band playing cheers and applause stephen wooo welcome back, everybody. Give it up for jon batiste and the whole band right over there cheers and applause jon, jon amazing. The people at home people at home didnt hear that whole thing. But these guys just burned the room to the ground just now. Jon, you are totally in your element tonight. Please tell us why the band seems to be twice its normal size tonight. Jon because it is. Weve got preservation hall jazz band playing with us tonight stephen welcome to the show, gentlemen. Good to see you. Theyll be these fellas are going to be here all night long. Theyll be playing some songs from preservation hall jazz bands new album, so it is. So it is. Jon yes. So it is. So it will be. Stephen tow it is, so it was. So it ever shall upon opinion jon, you like ted talks . Jon i love ted talks. Stephen did you do ted talks. Jon i did. Stephen what was that about . Jon jazz, there is it is. Stephen there it is. So it is. Right now the reason i ask is the annual ted conference is happening in vancouver, and it kicked off yesterday with a surprise skyping in from none other than pope francis i think its impressive for an 80yearold to set up his own webcam. Its not like he can get help from his grandkids. Jon oh, yeah, yeah. applause stephen pope francis talked about developing a healthy relationship with technology. translation how wonderful would it be if the growth of scientific and technological innovation would come along with more equality and social inclusion. laughter stephen im sorry. I was on my phone. What were you just. I just blocking jerks who dont agree with me. And the pope used a powerful metaphor to describe how power corrupts people. translator power is like drinking gin on an empty stomach. You feel dizzy, you get drunk, you lose your balance, and you will end up hurting yourself and those around you. Stephen true. Though, he left out calling your exgrilfriend at 3 00 a. M. And buying a broken turntable on ebay. And ive just got to pause here and say, gin on an empty stomach . Thats pretty specific, your holiness. Are you filing the job pressure right now . Is this why you spend all day in your bathrobe . Of course, a lot of people were surprised that the pope decided to do this, but religious figures actually have a long history of giving ted talks. Jim . Ladies and gentlemen, i come here today as a simple carpenter who also happens to be the son of god. But i didnt get here today through nepotism. No. I got where i am today because of a few simple systems ive developed. First up, weve all been there, right . All youve got is a few loafs and a couple of fishes, right . And you have to feed a crowd of thousands. What if i told you that you can do it. Now, i know what youre think ago geez, me . No, geez, us. Right . Thank you. applause now, ordinarily, someone slaps your cheek, what do we do . We want to slap them back, right . But weve been testing a Pilot Program where you turn the other cheek. Now laughter excuse me. Just needs to get a drink of water. Or is it . cheers and applause thank you. Thank you, guys. You guys have been an amazing audience. Ill be out in the lobby signing copies of my book. Thank you so much. I love you all. cheers and applause stephen well be right back with America Ferrara. When youre close to the people you love, does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment . If you have moderate to severe psoriasis, you can embrace the chance of completely clear skin with taltz. Taltz is proven to give you a chance at completely clear skin. With taltz, up to 90 of patients had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. In fact, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin. Do not use if you are allergic to taltz. Before starting you should be checked for tuberculosis. Taltz may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. 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Oh im so proud of you. Well thank you. Free at at discover. Com creditscorecard, even if youre not a customer. Bryan denton we spent almost the entirety of the next 10 hours under fire. You know, everybody was very focused, looking out the window, scanning for car bombs. Being outside of a vehicle was suicide. To say that i wasnt operating at a constant level of fear, id be lying to you. If i didnt believe in the importance of journalism, i wouldnt be able to continue to do this work. im bryan denton, photojournalist for the new york times. To help provide access to cleanh water to womengenton, and their families in the developing world. We can be the generation remembered for ending the global water crisis once and for all. band playing cheers and applause stephen thats springtime right there. Wow. Welcome back, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is an Emmy Award Winning actor who stars in superstore. Please welcome back to the show, america ferrera. applause stephen highway are you . Im good. Stephen you look good. Always nice to have you here. Its your third time on the show, i think . It is. Stephen one of these frequent cards we punch out. What do i get . Stephen a free sub, i think. Legally, all of those cards have to be paid off with a free sub. The last time you were here was in the before times. You were here in september of 2016. Yes. Stephen i dont know if youve been checking the news. Since november. But you were a big clinton supporter. You were out there on the stump. I was. cheers and applause stephen for the secretary at the time. How how have you been . How have you been dealing with reality . Uhm, well, for a while, not dealing. Stephen yeah. You have to cope the way you can. Stephen sure. I have a bar. You have a what. Stephen i have a bar in my office. laughter . And then, you know, then we had to get back to work and, you know, figure out what was next and galvanize our colleagues and our friends and our families, and figure out how are we going to protect people . cheers and applause stephen good luck. Thank you for doing that. Last time you were here, you were also you were also branching up on the in another way. Last time you were here you just finished your first triathlon. I did. Stephen now youve done your second triathlon. I did. Stephen and youre on the cover of triathlete magazine. cheers and applause yeah. Stephen which im not sure im even allowed to subscribe to, given the shame im in. What do you get out of it . What do you get out of it . Is it like is it one of those things its so greet when its over that you feel good . Like keep punching me in the face. It feels wonderful when you stop . What is it about the triathlon that draws you . It makes me week looking at this. That surprises me. I pictured myself on the cover of a lot of magazines. Triathlete magazine was not one of them. For me, its this thing ill never be great at, so it takes the pressure off. I get to just do it and have fun stephen but finishing one means youre great at it. I mean how many people have done a triathlon here. light applause youre liars. What are we talking about . How many miles swimming, biking . Swim a mile in the ocean, which is scary. Stephen with sharks and everything. Sharks arent real. Stephen sharks arent real . Not real. We get to decide whats real now. Stephen sure. laughter applause the upside. Then we ride 25 miles on the bike. I get super bored on the bike. I start singing super loud. Stephen are you allowed to have music . Youre not allowed to have music. So you have to make your own music. Stephen wow. And i start singing my beyonce real loud so i can get through it. Stephen all right. And then you run 6. 2 miles. And four weeks before this triathlon, i spraend my ankle. Stephen what . What did you do . I know. I was running and i just, like i sprained my ankle. And then i rehabbed it, not knowing if i was going to be able to do it, and i did it. cheers and applause stephen you also do you do soul cycle. I hear about that a lot. I do. Stephen is it a cult . It sounds leak a cult. People who get into it get really into it. They have to have it. It is an allornothing kind of thing. Yeah, it is kulti. Stephen what happens in there . Is it dark . Its dark. There are candles. Theres sweat and a lot of tears sometimes. Stephen that sounds like an orgy. Candles, sweat and tears. laughter hmmm. Yeah. Stephen i understand, you know, you directed an episode of superstore. I did scwhr. Stephen this season . The third is going . The third season is going. So well be back. applause . Stephen what was it like . So youre in it. Youre directing yourself. Yeah. Stephen what would actor you say to director you. What does actor you think to director you . Actor america says to director america like, calm down. Take a breath. Youre telling me too many things at once. And let me do my job. Thats what actor america says. And director america says actor america is a diva and she doesnt listen. Stephen you know, one of the things i i love about superstores myself, real super stores, is i love the announcements, kind of random announcements happening any time. When youre in there to buy your fraeptpack of paper towels. You hear a random announcement and you go, maybe ill bay buythat thing. Maybe ill go to aisle five. I didnt realize i needed that thing they talked about. And i love the old mics they use. They still use these to talk with them. And i would love right now with you, because youre an expert at this and you directed this sort of thing, if we could actually do some random announcements. Okay. Stephen that would appear in a giant box store, okay . Yeah. Stephen ill start. And well just say them into these. Okay. Stephen and these are random announcements that you might hear at a box store. Stephen colbert and mferreira. Here you go. Attention, please. We have lost a sixyearold at the desk, and a 20yearold who cant decide on a major. Attention shoppers can Randall Jenkins please make his way to the Principals Office . Also, can the manager please stop making me call him the principal . Stephen attention, customers. Please stop calling our pharmacist dr. Pills. He has a name. Its derek. Derek pills. applause attention shoppers we have rollback prices all the way back to 1621. So anyone buying electronics will be burned for witchcraft. laughter applause stephen attention customers we have combined the following aisles into one megaaisle liquor, hardware, live pets, and fireworks. Go nuts. cheers and applause attention Shoppers Free samples of teriyaki chicken are available in aisle two. And remember everything is a free sample if youre willing to shoplift. cheers and applause america ferrera, everybody. Superstore on nbc. Well be right back with Thomas Middleditch. One of many pieces in my life. So when my asthma symptoms kept coming back on my longterm control medicine. I talked to my doctor and found a missing piece in my asthma treatment with breo. Oncedaily breo prevents asthma symptoms. Breo is for adults with asthma not well controlled on a longterm asthma control medicine, like an inhaled corticosteroid. Breo wont replace a rescue inhaler for sudden breathing problems. Breo is specifically designed to open up airways to improve breathing for a full 24 hours. Breo contains a type of medicine that increases the risk of death from asthma problems and may increase the risk of hospitalization in children and adolescents. Breo is not for people whose asthma is well controlled on a longterm asthma control medicine, like an inhaled corticosteroid. 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Larry krasner will reform the criminal justice system, ending a war on drugs and the era of mass incarceration that targets poor and minority communities. Because justice makes us safer. Not just talking the talk, walking the walk. Larry krasner, democrat for district attorney. band playing cheers and applause stephen ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. You know my next guest as the founder of tech startup pied piper on silicon valley. Please welcome Thomas Middleditch. applause stephen wow wow somebody can do dips. Nice. Dude, i love doing dips stephen you got monster tries. Dude, my tries are on point. Thank you for noticing. I got the sickest tries in the biz. Stephen last time you were here you had a cane. Did you need that cane . God no. That was a fashion cane. Stephen are canes out of fashion now . Canes are in fashion thanks to me. Cane sales are up 200 , baby stephen somebody is getting their beak wet. So many business, so many jobs. Stephen wow, congratulations. Yeah, yeah. Stephen youre canadian, right . Yes. By by applause stephen canadian by birth. By birth. Stephen by grace of god. Do you guys have a god up there . Sometimes. Stephen he comes around this time of year, im guessing. Our god is the bear from the referinant. Hes pretty brutal. Stephen when are you going to become an american citizen . You have be here 10 years. Something like that. I dont know. Stephen whats the deal . Are we not good enough for you . Youre good enough to work here, tom. Im good enough to take your damn jobs stephen that is exactly right. That is an uncanny that is an uncanny los angeles accents you just did. Youre putting the wall on the wrong side of the country, boys. Stephen where have you lived in the United States gilived in chicago. I lived in new york city. And i lived in los angeles, california. Stephen well, what what where did you live in chicago . Because i lived in chicago for 11 years. Where did you live . I lived in a neighborhood called boys town. Stephen oh, yeah. I know that well. Im a boy. And im a town. Stephen okay. What were you doing there . What were you doing in chicago . I was doing improv. Second city improv olympics. Boys town is great, because my gay friends who have experienced that are like, boys town is gayer than san francisco. Its so gay. There are bars that are moist and tough and stuff like that. Stephen and, of course, the man hole. The man hole. But whats great about i mean, the walk because i would walk to improv olympic, or i. O. , i guess now its called. You go through boys town where, honestly, there will be guys in assless leather chaps. Theyll be like, hey, join us and im like, i cant i have to do a show. And you cross the street and guys in backwards cubbies hats playing corn hole. And theyre like, what are you doing here how do you guys get along together . Youre so close. Stephen its a big tent. And there are hard neighborhood divisions in chicago. Stephen you are, as i said, youre on silicon valley. You personally have been involved in tech. If i could throw some terms around. Do all terms have to have these . Stephen they all do. For me, when i dont know what the bleep im talking about, i have to say this. You threw lan lan parties. Lan is local area network. Yes stephen i know that from setting up a router. Exactly. What is a lan party . How is that a party . Its mainly through video games. And the lan parties i know, back in the 90s, we would have to have them this was before, like, cable internet, highspeed internet, so in order to get that super lowalatencey gaming you had to bring your pentium machine over 500,000 and you would bring it over. These are big machines, big cases, all the monitors and bring them over to your friends houses and physically connect them. Probably those lan parties were probably where a lot of influences from richard came from. My lan parties, there was always one guy for lack of a better term was maybe on the spectrum, slightly weird. Stephen totally different from you. Totally different from me. Im 100 inspector, pretty much your average joe. He was always around to make sure all the network stuff worked. And i remember he came to one of the parties which are loosely termed. laughter with his computer, his tower, and the case was off, but on top of it was an open bucket of water, and hoses that ran down from the top and clamped on to his c. P. U. And were like, dave, whats this . Ive liquid cooled my c. P. U. The cold air runs down and the warm runs up. And were like of all people here he should not have an open bucket of water over his computer. Needless to say, he was excitable. Sure enough during a rousing r game of delta force. We heard him upstairs yelling, because he had been killed and freaked out and spilled this whole bucket of water all over his computer. This is hilarious material laughter applause stephen it is its a good story its a really good story now, we have a clip here from the new season of silicon valley. Can you set up whats happening here . Youre mad at someone for some reason. Yes, i believe this is when i just found out that the patent i needed to create this new, big internet is owned by my greatest rival, sir gavin belson. Richard, are you okay . Yes, just putting something away. laughter laughter cheers and applause . Stephen so youre a stunt man, too. Please come back. With another fashion accessory next time. Yeah. Silicon valley airs sundays on hbo. Thomas middleditch, everybody. Well be right back with dave grohl and his mom, virginia. Ima wade, ima wave through the waters tell the tide, dont move Freedom Freedom i cant move freedom, cut me loose Freedom Freedom where are you . Cause i need freedom too Freedom Freedom Freedom Freedom what you want from me . Is it truth you seek . Oh father can you hear meee. 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The better the fit, the better it protects. Always. New pantene doesnt just wash i wiyour hair, it fuels it. Gain. Making every strand stronger. So tangles dont stand a chance. Because strong is beautiful. applause stephen welcome back, everybody wow hey, everybody, my next guests are the 13 grammy awardwinning rock star from the foo fighters and nirvana band playing and even better, his mom, please welcome dave and virginia grohl. applause cheers and applause stephen nice to see you again. Thank you. Stephen we met briefly at the Kennedy Center honors. Yes. Stephen at the awards. You actually bring your mom to a lot of fun places. Oh, man, shes been on tour more than most rock moms i know. Shes perfectly comfortable on the road, though. You know, i give her a laminate, and play a gig, and come back to the dressing room and shes having a beer with green day. laughter . Stephen in this case, you brought him. Because you have a new book called from cradle to stage stories from the mothers who rocked and raised rock stars. Okay. So its your story of raising this man over here. And talking to other mothers who raised rock stars. Yes. Stephen now, like any good mother, you brought an embarrassing photograph to start off here. There is okay. At what point did it occur to you. laughter that he might be a rock star . This was going to be his life . Well, i department know he was going to be a rock star. I knew he was going to be a musician. I knew really early he was going to be an entertainer. I had the feeling that some of you have it in your blood somewhere that you just start out being goofy. laughter . Stephen beats hard work. laughter and silly and making people laugh. Stephen uhhuh. And thats the way he was. Stephen it seemed like that might have been your focus, dave, because your mother also brought along one of your report cards id like to share. There is an actual report card from sixth grade, i believe, 08y81. That was a tough one. A tough year. Stephen it was a tough year here. Lets see. Hmm. Respects authority. Needs improvement. laughter is courteous. Needs improvement. Accepts responsibility unsatisfactory. Exercises selfcontrol needs improvement. Exerts effort unsatisfactory. Begins and completes work on time, unfactly. Works neatly, works accurately how long is this statement. Stephen we have to talk about this. I have to be honest. I was kicking ass up to first grade and it was all downhill from there. Stephen and at 17 you tell your mom, what . I started playing music when i was maybe nine or 10 years old, and i just kind of took to it. Once i started playing it i couldnt think of much else. I was just focused on playing music, and i got the bug. So all of my focus an and energy went to just playing. And so kind of Everything Else went out the window. And, you know, my mother, having been a Public School teacher for 35 years, i think she understood that some kids dont necessarily thrive in that fluorescentlit Public School system. They might be able to work outside of it a little more. So i had the opportunity to go start traveling europe and the world when i was 17 or 18 plying music. And my mother, because she had seen generations of kids who might have been really bright kids struggle within that system, she sort of looked at me and said, okay. Of. Its a great yet idea. Stephen really . Absolutely. Stephen you said go . Yes. Stephen you werent worried at all . Heres a 17yearold kid. Hes going off to europe with his hand band what was the band . At that time it was a band called scream. Stephen hes going off to with scream to europe,. Didnt worry you at all . I did. Stephen sex, drugs, rock n roll. A little of that. But he was going to be playing music. He was going to be playing music in paris. And in amsterdam, and i was staying behind in Fairfax County in the classroom. I almost wanted to go with him. Stephen so nothing . No worries at all . Uhm, heres the thing the other guys in the band were older. They were about 10 years older, maybe . And i knew them very well. And i knew theyd take care of him. And they did. Were all still good friends. Stephen now, have you told your mom everything that has happened . laughter have you told your mom everything that happened on the road . Because moms dont need to know everything. Y dont know if this is the appropriate place stephen i think it is. To air their dirty laundry. Stephen i think it might be appropriate. Is there anything is there anything you havent told your mother . Dave grohl, is there anything you have not told your mother that happened on the road that you would like to share with us . And ill turn off the cameras. I felt safe on the road. It was at home where i got in all the trouble, you know. There was once when i used to sneak her car out at night by waiting until she was asleep and go and find her key chain which was this broadway ticket you got from evita and the thing was like a cow bell so in order for me to get it out of the house without making noise id get a towel, wrap it in a towel, go out to the ford fiesta, back it downtown driveway, start it up the street this one night i was bringing it back up to the house up the driveway, but i had to cut the engine before i got up the driveway, and i get up the driveway and pull up the emergency break and get out of car and close the door and am walking through the kitchen, and we have a picture window, and im tiptoeing through the living room and i look out and the car is rolling down the street. laughter but she never knew i got away with it yeah. Stephen well, you say in here that the first rock mom you knew was kurt cobains mom, wendy. Thats right. Stephen and did kurts death change your relationship at all, and what it meant to be a rock mom . I think it did. Yeah. It was such a dark, sad time. And david came home after that, so we all sort of had to regroup. And, yes, we talked a lot. Weve always talked. Weve always been able to say everything to each other. But that was a particularly sort of incredible time. Its hard to express how yeah. But whenever i felt overwhelmed anything, i would just go back to virginia, where i grew up, and my mom id just go back to the bedroom that i grew up in. So whenever i felt overwhelmed with everything, id just go back home, hang out with my mom, and see my friends that i went to Elementary School with, and have barbecues all my dropout friends. It was great. Stephen do you ever want to go back to your teacher and show them your 13 grammys . I made the mistake of showing my kids my report card once because i thought it would be funny and that backfired on me. laughter . Stephen the book is tremendous. You also interviewed a dozen or more other rock moms. Its an incredible book. Its called from cradle to stage. Its available now. Virginia and dave grohl, everybody. Well be right back. Thank you so much. Nice to see you again. Thanks. Stephen good to see you, dave. Thanks for being here. This clean was like pow everything well . My teeth are glowing. They are so white. Step 1 cleans. Step 2 whitens. Crest [hd]. 6x cleaning , 6x whitening a i would switch to crest [hd] over what i was using before. Theseare heading back home. Y oil thanks to dawn, rescue workers only trust dawn, because its tough on grease yet gentle. I am home, i am home, i am home late show. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be ll cool j, phillipa soo, and musical guest, gorillaz. Now stick around for james corden. Hes got ludacris. Captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where you come from its gonna be all right its the late, late show ladies and gentlemen, all the