Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170126

Mr. Zalinkski, im a negro woman, im not going to entertain the impossible. And i am a polish jew, standing next to a fence that will be traveling to the stars hidden fences, based on a true story. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight stephen welcomes billy joel and Josh Holloway, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause stephen hey thank you so much thank you, sir hey, jon whats up . Good to see ya. Welcome to the late show. applause im so glad to be here. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Im so excited. Tonight weve got the great billy joel here tonight. cheers and applause weve got a special dome here tonight for billy joel, the piano man. cheers and applause weve got a special dome here look at that. Isnt that beautiful . Anybody watch the Golden Globes last night . cheers and applause i didnt because it wasnt on cbs and i was testing all of you. Failed. I hear it was pretty good. There were a lot of great movies this year, but there were two movies that got confused last night twice, Hidden Figures and fences, creating a fun new mashup. So youre nominated for hidden fences. For best supporting actress in a motion picture, here are the nominees. Octavia spencer, hidden fences. laughter jon oh oh stephen i think its obvious why these are the two nominated films that got mixed up. Both had their a. D. R. Mixing done by sound man chris navarro. laughter huge navarro heads. Jon yeah, yeah. Stephen plus, all the africanamerican presenters kept saying manchester by the lala land, so its fair. But the real star of the night and every night in my opinion was meryl streep cheers and applause who won a Lifetime Achievement award and stole the show with her acceptance speech. But there was one performance this year that stunned me. It was that moment when the person asking to sit in the most respected seat in our country imitated a disabled reporter, someone he outranked in privilege, power, and the capacity to fight back. Disrespect invites disrespect. Violence incites violence. When the powerful use their position to bully others, we all lose. Stephen yes, we all lose, except donald trump who won. laughter of course, president elect trump was too focused on defeating isis and creating jobs to pick a fight with a celebrity. laughter just kidding, trump tweeted meryl streep, one of the most overrated actresses in hollywood. Wait a second, im sorry, what . audience booing what . what did you just say . Meryl streep overrated . Have you seen sophies choice . Have you seen the french lieutenants woman . Have you seen that one with the dead people that shes even funny in that one . laughter look, mr. Trump. You can refuse to release your taxes, you can call to ban an entire religion, you can play footsie with a dictator, but calling meryl streep overrated . No applause no too far you know, i wasnt going to go to that million woman march, but now i am. laughter applause im going to go now. This is it. Its going to be a million meryl march. Ill be the one holding the blu ray of kramer vs. Kramer and weeping. laughter and in response to all this, this morning, trump spokeswoman and future awardwinning meryl streep role Kellyanne Conway weighed in on the reporter controversy by explaining we shouldnt get hung up on Little Things like what donald trump says and does. You cant give him the benefit of the doubt on, on this . And hes telling you what was in his heart . You always want to go by whats come out of his mouth rather than whats in his heart stephen yes, stop listening to his mouth and stop making fun of whats in his heart. That would be cruel because his heart is severely disabled. applause it is medically incapable of empathy. Come on of course, for months, weve been talking about how somebody hacked our election and donald trump had his theory of who that was. I mean, it could be russia, but it could also be china. It could also be lots of other people. It also could be somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds, okay . Stephen well it turns out trump was right to blame a 400 pound man sitting on a bed, assuming putin sleeps with his horse. laughter because, on friday, the director of National Intelligence released a report that found that putin ordered the effort to undermine faith in the election and help trump. Apparently, after russia was embarrassed by the olympic doping scandal, putin wanted to discredit the image of the United States and cast it as hypocritical. Hey, putin, we dont need any help looking hypocritical. Okay . Were the country that invented both chili cheese fries and open heart surgery. We got this one. laughter well, after months of denying it, trump now accepts that the russians hacked our election. And he knows exactly who to blame gross negligence by the Democratic National committee allowed hacking to take place. He went on to say that all Bank Robberies are the banks fault, and if people didnt want to get stabbed, why does their ribcage make such a sturdy knife holder . laughter applause now this russian hack is disturbing, you know its a little upsetting, but trumps chief of staff reince priebus, says theres a thing that Everyone Needs to understand. Heres the thing that i think Everyone Needs to understand when, when this whole thing started, it started from the russians, 50 years ago. In other words, this is something thats been going on in our elections for many, many years. It happens, every election period. Stephen yes, dont worry. It happens. The russians have always picked our president s. Who can forget the famous headline putin defeats truman. And, besides, according to trump adviser Kellyanne Conway, this hacking is not a bad thing. All of this amounts to a very simple fact, which is that alleged attacks, alleged and aspirations to interfere with our democracy failed and they failed and we know that because donald trump won. Stephen yes, donald trump one. America, zero. cheers and applause speaking of trump and his family, did you hear the breaking news today about Jared Kushner . Kushner, of course, is trumps soninlaw, dont know if you guys heard about this, hes also americas worstselling brand of marijuana. laughter do not smoke the Jared Kushner. And according to people close to trump, kushner will be named a Senior Advisor to the president. The pick makes sense trump and his soninlaw see eye to eye on a lot of issues. For instance, they both think ivanka is hot. laughter but based on a true story, that joke. laughter but trump hiring his soninlaw is raising a lot of questions, like is this legal . And does trump know anyone whos not in his family . laughter speaking of sources of shame for new york city, any giants fans here . No . Ashamed to admit it . It was a brutal game last night. The giants lost to the Green Bay Packers 38 to 13. Eli manning could not get anything going, Odell Beckham jr. Kept dropping passes, and the defense even let Aaron Rodgers throw a hail mary. Luckily, new york fans are used to being embarrassed, since we also have the jets. laughter some angry giants fans are now pointing to this photo of several players on a boat in miami last week, saying they should have been focused on the game. Instead, yesterday, the players on that boat had a combined three dropped passes, and two of them would have been for touchdowns, just think, if they had caught those touchdowns, the giants would have lost by only 11 points. Way better. And it doesnt help when you zoom in to that photo you can see eli manning water skiing behind the boat on top of two dolphins wearing a shirt that says i dont care about football laughter weve got a great show for you tonight, billy joel is here stick around cheers and applause people spend less time lying awake with aches and pains with advil pm than with tylenol pm. Advil pm combines the number one pain reliever with the number one sleep aid. Gentle, nonhabit forming advil pm. For a healing nights sleep. Like paperless, multicar, and safe driver, that help them save on their car insurance. Any questions . Yeah. How do you go to the bathroom . Great. Any insurancerelated questions . Mmhmm. Do you have a girlfriend . Uh, im actually focusing on my career right now, saving people nearly 600 when they switch, so. Wheres your belly button . [ sighs ] ive got to start booking better gigs. [ sighs ] then shielding lubrication. And cooling. Brrr. With lubrication before and after the blades. Shields and cools while you shave. Proshield chill from gillette. I love the smell of napalm in the morning. No, this is double espresso. Hodor hodor ehhh, hodor. You guys watch game of thrones, right . Inconceivable surely, you cant be serious. I am serious. And dont call me shirley . Thats the unlimited effect. Stream your entertainment and more with unlimited data when you switch to at t wireless and have directv. Plus, get the amazing new iphone 7 on us. ,, cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. Give it up for jon batiste and stay human cheers and applause you look like youre riding a tilted pony. Thats very nice. Jon yeah stephen well folks, my first guest tonight has sold over 150 million records, has six grammy awards, a tony award, a Kennedy Center honor and is in both the rock and roll songwriters halls of fame. Please welcome the one, the great, billy joel cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome. I saw that. Very good. cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen welcome to the show. Thanks. Stephen nice to have you on. Wow. Billy joel. I dont know how to explain to you what an important thing this is for me to have you on the show. I mean, you name any one of your songs, i can sing every single one of your hits from beginning to end without pause. Okay. Stephen piano man. Sing us a song, youre the piano man im in a new york state of mind i love you just the way you are im moving out only the good die young always a woman to me you get to be a big shot you may be right still rock and roll to me dont ask me why living here in allentown tell her about it uptown girl for the longest im the entertainer shes got a way im going to wait for you she cuts you once, cuts you twice rosalindas eyes 52nd street. Sometimes the fantasy. Sleeping with the television on all go down together in the middle of the night we didnt start the fire cheers and applause pretty good. Stephen just think what a great song what a great song it would be just to put all the titles of your songs together. Thats pretty good. You should come to the garden and do that one night. cheers and applause stephen im there. Now, we think of you starting off your career as the piano man, a little smoky bar, but you play just huge stadiums now. For the whole last 20 years of your career, youre the only guy to play wrigley, fenway and citizens park in philly, four years in a row selling all those stadiums out. You Just Announced shows 86 and 87 of having performed at Madison Square garden. Youre like artist in residence at Madison Square garden, you sell it out in three minutes. Whats it like . applause i will eventually let you talk in this interview, i promise you, but what is it like to play for 20,000 people on a piano . Its a hoot, man. Its a lot of fun. Its a good job. I picked a great job. Stephen do you have to change the way you perform for a stadium as opposed to, you know, a room this size . You have to throw it a little more in a stadium. We played in wembley in london and 62,000 people there and thats three times Madison Square garden so you have to kind of project more and give it a little more english because its england. Stephen of course. Well, this is the stage, this was the stage of the ed sullivan show, the ed sullivan theater. Do you remember seeing the beatles on here . I know they were a big influence on you. Oh, yeah. cheers and applause stephen were you sitting at home with your family, watching tv . I didnt have a tv at home. The tv broke in my house when i was about two years old, so i went to somebody elses house to watch tv, and the beatles were on. 1964, february, i remember that. Also, it was three months after john f. Kennedy has been assassinated, so the country had the blues, everybody was kind of down in the dumps, he was, like, our guy and they took him away. And then these four guys came from england with weird hair, wrote their own songs, arranged their own music, played their own instruments, and the country went crazy, we all went nuts, okay, those are the guys, those are ours. It was a really exciting time. Stephen how old were you when that happened . 14. Stephen and were you already playing piano at the time . Yeah, i had been taking lessons since i was like four. But i didnt want to be a classical pianist. That wasnt in my cards. Stephen but youve composed Classical Music before. I heard you often start with a classical motif when youre writing one of your songs and then you rock it up. I love Classical Music. But i fell in love with rock and roll when i was a teenager. The beatles kind of kicked me into doing that. I saw them and i said, that could be done. They didnt look like they were manufactured in hollywood. They werent movie star looking guys, they were from liverpool which sounds even worse than where im from, hicksville. laughter stephen youre hicksvillian. Now, you also, youve become friends with mccartney. Yes. Stephen and you closed shea stadium with him. Yeah. Stephen they played shea back in 64, right . They kicked the door open. They played that stadium first. Stephen well, what was that like . You closed out shea stadium with him. Yeah, they were going to close down the shea stadium and i called paul and asked him if he wanted to come because you guys opened it up. Ive known him since the 80s i guess, when my first daughter alexa was a little girl, paul used to see us at a party or something out in the hamptons and hed say, oh, alexa, its your uncle pauley, come here, come here, uncle pauley. Hes, like, a real dad and she would scream, didnt know who he was. And im going, its Paul Mccartney come here, its your uncle pauley. So ive known him for a long time and i called and asked him if he could come to the shea show and he had visitation with his own daughter. I said, i understand visitation, i get it, i have been married four times, i understand visitation. Stephen four times . Yeah, may the fourth be with me. cheers and applause so he said he had a visitation and i said i understand, he wasnt going to make it. And then as we were playing shea and were coming to the end of the show, the second show we did, all of a sudden my road crew guys come over to me and said, hes on his way. I said, whos on his way . The eagle has landed. And we were getting to where were going to do piano man, and all of a sudden i look over on the side of the stage and there is Paul Mccartney walking on the stage tuning his hofner bass with a butter knife. I said, this is bizarre, this is insane. And he came on, we played a couple of songs and ended the show by doing let it be which is poetic justice, i think. applause stephen well, well take a little break here and be right back with more billy joel. Stick around. cheers and applause [ping] [ping] [glass breaking] [statue breaking] hello, mr. Ortiz. Do you have a tax question . Yeah, im teaching tennis on the side now. Thats nice. But im going through a lot of balls. Can i deduct them . In your case, yes. You can enter your expenses right here. Oh, cool. Hey, david. 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And for just 15. 99big festival of shrimp you can pick 2 of 6 new and classic creations on one plate new flavors like sweet bourbonbrown sugar grilled shrimp and bold firecracker red shrimp are too big to last so hurry in. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody were back here with our friend billy joel. You have not put out a pop album since 1993. Correct. Stephen billy joel, you were really good at writing songs. Why not give us more billy joel songs . Because youre selling out the stadiums. How about some fresh meat . laughter i thought id had my say. Stephen really . Yeah. I just said, yeah, okay, just shut up now. I put out 12 albums. How many albums did the beatles put out, 12 albums . Stephen yeah. Thats a nice round number, ill stop. Stephen elton john said you should put out more albums. I told him he should put out less albums. applause stephen whats a big show when you were a kid, do you remember big shows, big concerts that were formative for you . Yeah, i snuck in to see jimi hendrix play at the old worlds fairgrounds. It was called the singer bowl back then. I think now its a tennis stadium. Arthur ashe tennis stadium. It was called the singer bowl. We didnt have tickets. It was with another guy who was in my band, and we snuck in by putting cables, holding cables and, you know, talk with english accents, jimis got to get his cables, he will be really pissed off. I got to the stage and i kind of bulked my way up to the stage and i was talking with an english accent to all the different security, and we got to the stage and jimis roadie, road manager, was a guy named keith robinson, famous english roadie, hes been the roadie for every big english band and he looked at me and said, come here, you, youre pretty good. And i said, well, thank you. Youre going to help load up jimis amp. So there we are carrying stacks of marshall amps onto the stage. Pretty cool. And i got to watch hendrix. Stephen he knew you were faking. I was faking. Stephen but he was like fine with it. It was a good fake. He appreciated it. Stephen i heard a story. I know you and bruce have become friends. I dont know if you can do that anymore. Stephen i snuck into paul simons graceland concert that way. Really . Stephen yeah, back in the 80s i said i was a tshirt salesman and watched the show from the fly gallery. I dont know if you can do that anymore. The 80s were different. Yeah, it was. Stephen can you explain to me what this is . I understand that this is something to do with Bruce Springsteen. Can i get a shot of this . What is this and why does it have anything to do with Bruce Springsteen . This is the voltage regulator that came off the bike that springsteen broke down on on veterans day. Stephen this veterans day . This past veterans day, yes, november. I built bruce a couple of bikes. I built him a 650 and i built him a touring bike, a moto guzzi, and this was the voltage regulator from the moto guzzi and it pooped out. So bruce got stuck by the side of the road and these guys picked him up and took him where he needed to go. I called up bruce and said, i read you broke down on a bike. Was it the bike we built for you . He said, yeah. I said, im sorry, man. But its all fixed up and fine now. Stephen good. You do a good mccartney, a good bruce. Do you ever do their numbers . Yeah, all the time. Stephen in their voices . Yeah, try to. I do tony bennett. Stephen you do tony . Yeah, i used to do joe cocker a lot. Stephen what tony song do you do . What tony song do i do . mimicking tony stephen you are beautiful youre beautiful i love the young people, they got the energy. So much energy, the young people. We would sometimes do a new york state of mind at Madison Square garden and at shea stadium with tony bennett. We would rehearse the ending. Okay, heres how it ends. Im in a new york state of drum roll mind got it. Got it rehearsed. Then we would get to the live show and be, im in a im in a tony would say, new york, new york, greatest city in the world youre the best town the best people we were looking at each other, where is he going . Follow tony i just love the Energy Energy is great but tony does what he wants to do. Stephen tony bennett. I know, so you just follow tony and we got out of it okay. laughter but you never know. Stephen we had bruce on here. I asked him to rank the top five Bruce Springsteen songs. Would you do us the honor of ranking the top five billy joel songs . Because people always shout out what they think the best songs are. If you were at a billy joel concert and you were yelling out to you, what are the five songs you think. Five, four, three, two, one. I actually think of it on stage what i want to see me do but i tend to like the album tracks, not the ones that are the hit singles. Stephen okay, what have you got . Id say vienna. Stephen great song. I think thats my Favorite Song of yours. You give the audience a choice, do you want vienna or just the way you are, they pick vienna. Stephen thats five. Four. Four, and so it goes. Stephen and so it goes. Got it. You may be right. Stephen mmhmm. Number two. There is an obscure song called shes right on time. Stephen shes right on time. And can i have a drum roll, please. drum roll number one billy joel song is. Scenes from an Italian Restaurant. cheers and applause stephen you know, i would love to hear some of the stories behind, you know, some of these songs because people think songs mean one thing but in fact we find out the songs mean something totally different to the artist who created them. Youve got so many great stories. Youre a story teller with your songs. Is there any chance we can go to the true stories behind the hits . Yeah, sure. Stephen great. Because this is true stories behind the hits cheers and applause welcome to the dark cave that is my studio now. This is true stories behind the hits. Billy, whats the first hit that there is a true story behind tonight . Only the good die young was the second title actually. The original was the evil shall live forever. laughter stephen fascinating, billy, fascinating. Not many people know this, but billys doowop song the longest time was inspired by how long it took his toaster strudel to cool from the microwave. laughter in just the way you are, when i wrote the line dont go changing, i was referring to the incredible hulk. Stephen most people know that captain jack is about a drug dealer billy knew growing up. But his full name was captain jack crunch and the drug he was dealing was crunchberries. And heroin. laughter in tell her about it, the it i want him to tell her about is his third nipple. laughter stephen only fair. Its only fair. In scenes from an Italian Restaurant, the bottle of red was ketchup, and the bottle of white was horsey sauce. And the Italian Restaurant was an arbys. laughter applause piano man was originally about a super hero character, pianoman i wanted to make a movie where he teamed up with elton johns rocket man to fight bob dylans tambourineman. laughter applause stephen id watch that. I would see that movie. I would see that movie. The lyrics to river of dreams in the middle of the night, i go walking in my sleep. To a river dreams is about an adult bed wetter. laughter okay. A lot of people laughter applause a lot of people think we didnt start the fire was about cold war anxiety, but i actually wrote it because back then we didnt have wikipedia. So i just wrote one song that included everything that happened in history. laughter stephen thank you for that. Youre welcome. Stephen miami 2017 was written in 1975 but turned out to be prophetic. It is actually about a bunch of Football Players partying on a boat instead of practicing. applause and that was true stories behind the hits. cheers and applause billy, i love the song miami 2017. Is there any chance that we could get you to do that song for us tonight . cheers and applause okay. Stephen really . Yeah. Stephen all right. Well be right back with billy joel. Stick around. cheers and applause do you always put cheezit grooves in your sandwich . Of course theyre chips. Chips. Plus sandwich equals the perfect lunch. Ooooh. Dont forget to add the pickle. Its kind of a big dill. Cheezit grooves. Dang right its a chip. [crunch ] as a dancer, i love being able to pass on everything i know. One thing ive learned is that when all eyes are on me, i cant have any doubts. Especially when it comes to what im wearing. It needs to fit my body just right. Looking good on stage is one thing. But real confidence comes from feeling good out there. Try the improved fit of new depend silhouette briefs. Get a free sample at depend. Com. A girl with golden locks broke into a house owned by three bears. She ate some porridge, broke the baby bears chair, and stole some jewelry, a flatscreen tv, and a laptop. Luckily the Geico Insurance agency had helped the bears with homeowners insurance. They were able to replace all their items. Including a new chair from crate and barrel. Call geico and see how easy it is to switch and save on homeowners insurance. So tasty. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody you know, folks, billy joel has upcoming tour dates in philadelphia, boston, chicago, cleveland, los angeles, atlanta and of course at Madison Square garden here in new york city. Ladies and gentlemen, billy joel. cheers and applause seen the lights go out broadway i saw the empire state laid low and life went on beyond the palisades they all bought cadillacs and left there long ago they held a concert out in brooklyn to watch the island bridges blow they turned our power down and drove us underground but we went right on with the show ive seen the lights go out on broadway i saw the ruins at my feet you know we almost didnt notice it wed seen it all the time on forty Second Street they burned the churches up in harlem like in that spanish civil war the flames were everywhere but no one really cared it always burned up there before ive seen the lights go out on broadway i watched the mighty skyline fall the boats were waiting at the battery the union went on strike they never sailed at all they sent a carrier out from norfolk and picked the yankees up for free they said that queens could stay and blew the bronx away and sank manhattan out at sea you know those lights were bright on broadway that was so many years ago before we all lived here in florida before the mafia took over mexico there are not many who remember they say a handful still survive to tell the world about the way the lights went out and keep the memory alive thank you cheers and applause Stephen Billy joel, everybody well be right back with Josh Holloway stick around first theres sharp blades. 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The cma certification. Youve got to earn it. cheers and applause meta appetite control. It helps put some distance between you and temptation. Clinically proven to help reduce hunger between meals. From metamucil, the 1 doctor recommended brand. Oh the fishes will laugh as they swim out of the path when the ship comes in by the hollies and the seagulls theyll be smilin and the rocks on the sand its so peaceful out here. Yeah. Introducing the new turbocharged volkswagen alltrack with 4motion® allwheel drive. Soon to be everywhere. Its crispety. Its crunchety. Its a oneofakind experience. Butterfinger. Theres nothing like it. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody welcome back, folks. You know my next guest tonight as sawyer in lost. He now stars in the usa network drama, colony. Please welcome Josh Holloway cheers and applause stephen wow. Billy joel was just sitting here, you know. Stephen do you feel the greatness . Do you feel the greatness in the seat . I should probably sit over there, because its too great for me. Stephen thats all right. No, fantastic. Who gets to come on and have billy joel open for you . Come on laughter stephen this job doesnt suck is what i learn every so often. Its kind of good. Stephen i have one bone to pick with you. You have a tan. Its january. Where have you been . I have been in hawaii, my friend. I just got back. Stephen you went to visit the smoke monster . There they call it paca. Stephen they do . Im kidding. Stephen im not sure i would want to go to the beach after eating over christmas. It was a note to self do not schedule your Beach Vacation at the end of the Holiday Season because you are sporting the dad bod like theres no business, you know. Stephen i could go dad bod to dad bod for you. Dude, ready. Stephen buddy, no. I would beat you today, so im not going to sport it because i could really get there. So i was sporting the dad bod on the beach before my kids wake up. Stephen how old are your kids . I have a 3yearold this month, hunter, and java is 7. So im building a sand castle, hot. Sun comes up and my daughter is, like, dad, put a shirt on. Its, like, why, baby . Were at the beach. Youre fat. Im, like stephen is your 7yearold calling you fat . Yes. She saw my expression. She goes just a little, daddy. Just a little. Like shes trying to save me from it. At the same time im looking down like this and my boy yells at some girl that walks by in a g string, and im, like, where did you learn that word . Stephen kids are humbling. Yes stephen im from south carolina. Youre from georgia, i understand. Yes. Stephen are you from real georgia or are you from, like, atlanta . I would be more dirt road and dogs. Stephen what part of the state are you from . North georgia. Stephen up near tennessee, south carolina. Where we would get our fireworks because they werent legal. Stephen south carolina, we have a death wish, all fireworks are legal in south carolina. Legal . Stephen totally. Theyre fantastic. They have warehouses up there in your part of the woods that you can blow up america. They have, like not that we need stephen im sorry. What was that . laughter what was that gesture you were just doing . Because we cant show that on cbs. Im going to say thats a rocket. That was a rocket, yes. Stephen now, the new show youve got on u. S. A. Is called colony about aliens who have landed in los angeles and theyve taken over part of the government, right . Yes. Stephen yes . Yes. Stephen are the aliens more vicious than most people in los angeles . People in hollywood . Can we say equal . Stephen sure, okay. So my guy is an f. B. I. Agent, and when the walls went up, we had the idea first, bozo. laughter you know who im talking about. Nobody. So the walls go up, our family is separated, and my guy is trying to get them back together and survive. So its centered around a family, but its a microcosm for the entire planet. Stephen do you believe in aliens . I do. There must be aliens. Look at me. laughter stephen what about you . Only an alien would consider that a dad bod. laughter there has to be aliens, right . Stephen i would like t0 think there are aliens but why havent they contacted us yet . Theyre putting in the proxy government now, if you havent figured that out. Stephen possible. Thank you for being here. Season two of colony starts thursday on u. S. A. Network. Josh holloway, everybody aliens are real cheers and applause vo maybe it was here, when you hit 300,000 miles. Or here, when you walked away without a scratch. Maybe it was the day your baby came home. Or maybe the day you realized your baby was not a baby anymore. Every subaru is built to earn your trust. Because we know what youre trusting us with. Subaru. Kelley blue books most trusted brand. And best overall brand. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Hush my darling. Dont fear my darling. The lion sleeps tonight. [snoring. ] hush my darling. [snoring. ] dont fear my darling. The lion sleeps tonight. [snoring. ] take the roar out of snore. cheers and applause goodnight captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry about your pants smoothie it will be all right its the late, late show. Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from atlantis, minnesota, give it up for your host, the one, the only james corden