There going to Kickstart Program now with a video. You better sit down if you want to catch it. There is a lot to celebrate, because journalism is such an important part of the freedoms we continue to enjoy in this country, and many other countries wish they had the benefits we had because our Founding Fathers were so brilliant with the First Amendment. Thomas jefferson famously said he would have a press without a government than a government without the press. When the press conference the confronts the government, that means the system is working. When you dont acknowledge at fundamental role that the press plays and protect it that is the role of the press secretary, to protect the role against those that are fuming at whatever has been reported. If you do not treasure and protect that relationship, we are losing something fundamental to our democracy. I think one of the things this past election has taught us journalists, if they follow the stories and facts, and dont worry about all the other stuff, i think that journalism will be resurgent. That is a good thing for all of us. Any president thinks that they want the American People to hear the truth about what a great job they are doing. In theory, the press wants to report accurately and truthfully about what the president is up to. In theory, both sides are aligned in this adversarial relationship. But we know how things get off track. They would like to talk to you. I answer their questions just about every night that they come in with and i answer them. Nixon hated a lot of things. One thing he really hated was the white house Correspondents Dinner. He would have to sit a lot of journalists were given big prizes for stories that were really tough on nixon. Nixon was go back to the white house and dictate a memo, i am never going to this dinner ever again. But he did. In october 1973, Richard Nixon had a showdown with the press in the white house. A cbs correspondent said what is it about the Television Coverage of you in these past weeks and months that has so aroused your anger . Dont get the impression that you arouse my anger. [laughter] i have that impression. One can only be angry with those he respects. That was the relationship between the president and the press. Tension between the president and the press is normal. Tension is vital in healthy to democracy. We make no secret about our freedom. It is something of a national pastime. We have 1000 local television stations, 8500 Radio Station and 1700 daily newspapers, each one an independent enterprise fiercely independent of the government, report on the indidates, grill them interviews, and bring them together for debates. Pres. W. Bush the relationship between the president and the press is unique and a necessary relationship. I enjoy it. I hope you do. As i say, sometimes you dont like the decisions i make, and i sometimes dont like the way you write about the decisions. It is a very important part of our process. Pres. Obama i have enjoyed working with all of you. That does not mean that i have enjoyed every story that you have filed. That is the part of this relationship. You are not supposed to be sycophants, you are supposed to be skeptics. You are supposed to ask me to of questions. Youre not supposed to be complementary but cast a critical eye on folks who hold enormous power, and make sure that we are accountable to the people who sent us here. And you have done that. So America Needs you and democracy needs you. The White House Correspondents Association does not just wrangle with president s and aides, we provide scholarships to young journalists who represent the next generation of our profession. I am a 2016 graduate from the college of communications. The tuition is very high. My mother said, this is a great school, but i do not know if we can afford it. We received a scholarship, and i was in shock. That was actually a big portion of my tuition. I ended up being awarded the scholarship. I was completely humbled by the experience. Wow, you chose me . 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. That gave me the drive to keep pushing to find a job in the field that i wanted. Im just thankful, because i was hired as a production assistant. I do a lot of writing, graphics, floor directing. It is the first step into my career. I am just going to go up from here. We will see what happens. The whaca fights hard for journalists to ask questions, witness the president in action and report robustly on what they see. We will continue to do that regardless of which Party Controls the white house. That is our job. Yes, there can be spin. There can be a little giveandtake in the briefing room, but, at the end of the day, it is about the American People who need to hear what is going on. Anytime someone complains about conflict between the white press, we should say that is democracy and be grateful. There are changes that are coming that we dont even know about. Here is one thing that doesnt change facts, the First Amendment, truth, respect, and civility. All of those things are constants we should be able to agree on. That is a keeper. [laughter] [applause] jeff thank you to whca teams members at nbc for putting together that video. [applause] jeff the tradition of the white house Correspondents Dinner is a long one. Journalists, president s, cabinet members, lawmakers, and diplomats have shown up for decades and demonstrated that , even though we have vastly different roles, government officials and reporters can come together for one night. Tonight looks a little different. But the values that underpin this dinner have not changed. In fact, i think they have been reinforced. We are here to celebrate good journalism. We are here to celebrate the press, not the presidency. I am happy to report for anyone who is interested that this dinner is sold out. [applause] jeff what we celebrate tonight is bigger than a dinner. This may get a lot of attention every year, but the work journalists do every day is what is important. As people in this room know, but perhaps some in the American Public do not the White House Correspondents Association works every day to stand up for press freedom and advocate for ability to do their job. We do that with every white house regardless of who is president and regardless of whether he is a democrat or republican. [applause] jeff president Trumps White House is no different. We have worked very hard to build a constructive relationship with his press team. There are clear dividends from those efforts. The press is still in the White House Briefing room, and we are still on air force one. [applause] jeff in fact, press access under President Trump has been very good. With all of the tension in the relationship, that aspect is often overlooked. We have had several press conferences, repeated opportunities to see and report on the president s meetings, and with at least one notable and lamentable exception, good access to briefings with press staff and Senior Administration officials. Never the less, we cannot ignore the rhetoric that has been employed by the president about who we are and what we do. Freedom of the press is a Building Block of our democracy. Undermining that by seeking to delegitimize journalists is dangerous to a healthy republic. [applause] jeff it is our job to report on facts and to hold leaders accountable. That is who we are. We are not fake news. [applause] jeff we are not failing news organizations. And we are not the enemy of the American People. [cheering] [applause] jeff the whca is proud to stand up for all of our members. An attack on any of us is an attack on all of us. At previous dinners, we have rightly talked about the threats to press freedoms abroad. Tonight, we must recognize there are threats to press freedoms here in the United States. We must remain vigilant. The world is watching. [applause] jeff thankfully, we are not alone. The outpouring of support for the whca has been heartwarming. Having journalists bob woodward and Carl Bernstein tonight is an outstanding symbol of that support. [applause] jeff thank you bob, carl, elsa, and christine for joining us. [applause] jeff Justice Woodward and bernstein inspired generations of journalists, we hope the work that the press corps is doing will inspire our successors. We are working to support the next generation of journalists with our Scholarship Program tonight. As the video beautifully showed, scholarships matter. Having spent some time already with this group of this years scholars, the profession is in good hands. With that, i would like to invite our two scholarship chairs to the podium as we promote this years whca scholars. [applause] before we introduce you to our scholars this year, we would like to say, on behalf of the board, we are honored to serve alongside jeff mason who has led our board with such dedication this year. [applause] this year the White House Correspondents Association is pleased to award scholarships to 23 students from eight universities. Thanks to the generous contributions of journalists in this room, each of these scholars will be working alongside a mentor from the White House Press corps for the following year. We are excited to introduce the scholars to you know and ask you to hold your applause until they have all been introduced. From howard university, Anthony Brown junior. Beryl kessio. Merdie nzanga. From columbia university, riham alkousaa. From northwestern university, ortez, who was unable to attend the dinner. Nia prater. From u. C. Berkeley, sawsan morrar. From the university of maryland, becca king. From the university of missouri, adam aton. Jinghong chen. Brittany crocker. Jasmine han. Kasia kovacs. Molly olmstead. Jill ornitz. Kouichi shirayanagi. Francisco varaorta. Xuejiao wang. From the George Washington university, teniola ayomide ayoola. From ohio university, megan henry. Catherine hopebacker. Please join us in congratulating all of this years scholarship winners. [applause] thank you and congratulations again to our 2017 winners. It is heartening to know that such a terrific class of journalists is coming through the ranks. They are not the only young journalists in the room tonight making an impact. We are delighted that there are so many students here including those hosted by cnn and yahoo news. [applause] jeff but i would like to highlight a special group of students hosted by the huffington post. Earlier this year at Pittsburgh High School in kansas, this group of students was doing research on the schools newly principal when they uncovered some red flags about her educational and professional background. Their tenacious work for a Student Newspaper led to the resignation of that school official. Congratulations. Please stand so we can recognize you. [applause] jeff journalists like those students witness and sometimes impact history with the work that they do. The same is true of us at the White House Press corps. One way we record that history is through reports written by dedicated print journalists. Tonight, we are excited to give an update on the whcas work too create an archive on those reports. I would like to give it to those who have spearheaded these project to tell us more. [applause] subject white house travel pool report number one, joint base andrews, april 29, 2017. President trump sets off on a saturday night seven night visit to harrisburg pennsylvania to celebrate 100 days in office. One day, maybe five years from now, maybe 50 years, when somebody wants to go back and figure out what President Trump was doing on his first 100 days in office, and what they served for the meal on air force one, and who was with him on the plane, they will go back and read the New York Times report at 5 20 p. M. As they were rolling on the tarmac. When we were covering president obama, we realized there was no way to figure out, what was that womans name in that diner that told him that thing one time . That sort of thing. The pool reports run from what president bush was doing during the hours after the 9 11 attack to obamas Election Night and everything in between. The board and i hope very soon to be able to announce the University Partner in the next and thersity partner next steps on this project. In the meantime, we want everyone to know we are undertaking an effort to create a searchable permanent ongoing future database that will record this bit of history, which is not part of the archives on a rolling basis, so that scholars and journalists can, with a couple of keystrokes, commanded that attention that has been such a special part of what happens in the white house every day. With your support and patience, we look forward to having an update for you soon. This is a project that will be a available to everyone in the country who wants to glean information from this part of history. Thank you for your support. We will have an update soon. [applause] jeff thank you, margaret. She will succeed me as president in july. She is going to do a terrific job. [applause] jeff we have spoken a lot about the First Amendment tonight. I would like to take just a second to read its text. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and petition the government for redress of grievances. That great amendment protects so many things that are part of u. S. Democracy. It protects our ability to write and report, and it protects others abilities to criticize, praise, or make fun. I am thinking of satire. We now have a special message of support from someone who engages in satire, and wants to share it with the journalists in this room. Live from new york, it is saturday night. [cheering] alec keep up the good work. [applause] jeff thank you alec baldwin for those quick but meaningful words of encouragement. [laughter] jeff the next portion of our program is a bit of a surprise, too. Not for those of us sitting on the dais, but for the person helping to make the program run flawlessly backstage. Julia whiston, our executive director, has supported this association with heart and soul and guts for more than 20 years. She has made planning a dinner for president s, journalists, and thousands of guests in washington look effortless. She has supported the principles of the First Amendment by keeping the trains of our Association Running on time. This will be the last dinner that she will oversee as our executive director before she retires next month. I would like to invite her on stage as we salute her now with this video. [applause] this dinner will not happen without julie, period. We would not get the work we need to get done without julie, period. And we would not have as much fun. Julie got us all together. Julie is truly irreplaceable. We want to thank not only her, but every president. Kind, generous, and capable beyond belief. Smart, tough, and indispensable. No matter how hot things get, i never see her break out in a sweat. Julie brought this organization into a modern era. She is one classy lady. Julie is family. In her quartercentury with us, we rejoiced in her marriage, we mourned when she mourned, and every year we got to celebrate watching her daughters grow into great women. Julie has been the heart and soul of this organization. She bailed me out quietly more times than i can count. Fiercely committed to journalism. To me, julie is an unsung hero of the First Amendment. Julie is the kind of person who knows what you need before you even know what you need. She is a friend now and forever. It is julies dinner. The rest of us are just her guests. She is an incredibly hard act to follow. When i say white house Correspondents Dinner, who does it remind you of . Julie. There are not a lot of people in this business that you honestly look at and say, im going to miss that customer, or the individual. She is someone i will truly miss. Congratulations julie. We are so grateful. Congratulations julie. Congratulations julie. [applause] jeff congratulations julie. [applause] thats so sweet of you. Thank you so much. Can i go now . Jeff nope. [applause] jeff julie did not know about that video. And keeping that a secret may rank up as one of our proudest accompaniments tonight. I would like to welcome julies great family, her husband, who has been a great supporter of the whca, to join us here. Julie, on behalf of all the journalists you have supported over the years, thank you. Happy birthday. And we will miss you. [applause] thank you so much. I feel like miss america now. Thank you. It has been a privilege to work with so many wonderful people. I will miss you all. Thank you. [applause] jeff we are lucky to have people like julie and so many strong supporters that make the work of the whca possible, starting with the Board Members on this stage. These are the elected representatives of the White House Press corps. They work day in and day out to make sure reporters can get into briefings, photographers have space to take pictures, videographers can run video on news events, and getting the sound we need for airtime. Thank you Board Members. [applause] jeff i would like to give a special shout out to olivia, who helped me in choosing a new director. We are happy that steve, who just handed out the flowers to julie, will be filling that role. Next i would like to thank george, our terrific attorney who donates his and his firms time to the cause of protecting journalism. I will never forget a day early in the president ial transition last year when we had push back about having journalists in the lobby of trump tower in new york. I called george, who immediately mobilized colleagues to go to the scene to advocate for our right to be there. It was real advocacy in motion, and it made a difference. Thank you george. Thank you too to the journalism groups that have been part of the fight for press freedom and in support of the whca tonight, including reporters from reporters without borders, the National Press club, and Washington Press foundation. [applause] jeff i would like to offer a personal thank you to those in this room who have been so supportive of me this year, especially my family and dear friends for joining me tonight. Lastly i would like to thank the members of the White House Press corps. It is a privilege to work with each and every one of you every day. Thank you for having my back and the backs of the whca board. This is your dinner. This is our dinner. Will all of the white house reporters in the room please stand and be recognized . [applause] [cheering] [applause] jeff and that brings me to the toast. Tonight we salute white house reporters. Please raise a glass to them, to freedom of the press, and to journalists here and around the world. Here here. Jeff the next speakers really need no introduction. Bob woodward and Carl Bernstein changed the course of history with their reporting on watergate. Their work led scores of journalists to enter our profession. And it continues to serve as a shining example of the importance of strong reporting and holding leaders at the highest levels of government accountable. It is a true honor to have them here. I would like to invite them to the podium now to speak and present our journalism awards. [applause] thank you. Shortly after Richard Nixon resigned the presidency, bob and i were asked a long question about reporting. We answered with a short phrase we have used many times since to describe our reporting on watergate and its purpose and methodology. We called it the best obtainable version of the truth. The best obtainable version of the truth. It is a simple concept, yet something very difficult to get right because of the enormous amount of effort, thinking, persistence, push back, removal of ideological baggage, and the sure luck that is required, not to mention some unnatural humility. Underlying everything that reporters do in pursuit of the best obtainable version of the truth, whatever our beat or assignment, the question is, what is news . What is it that we believe is important, relevant, hidden perhaps, or even in plain sight and ignored by conventional journalistic wisdom or governmental wisdom . I would say this question of what news is becomes more relevant and essential if we are covering the president of the United States. Richard nixon tried to make the conduct of the press the issue in watergate instead of the conduct of the president and his men. We tried to avoid the noise, and let the reporting speak. During our coverage of watergate and since, bob and i have learned a lot from one another about the business of being reporters. Let me list a few of the primary elements of bernsteins reportorial education. One, almost inevitably, unreasonable government secrecy is the enemy. Unusually the giveaway about what the real story might be. [applause] carl and when lying is combined with secrecy, there is usually a pretty good roadmap in front of us. Yes, follow the money, but follow also the lies. [applause] carl two, sources are human beings whom we need to listen to and empathize with, not use objectively as a means to get a story. We have to go back to our sources time and again. The best obtainable version of the truth is about context and nuance, even more than it is about simple existential facts. The development and help of deep throat as a source was a deeply human enterprise. When we were working on our second book, the final days, woodward did 17 interviews with Richard Nixons white house lawyer. Sustained inquiry is essential. You never know what the real story is until you have done reporting, as woodward says, exhaustively, gone over and over to our sources, ask ourselves what is missing, what is the further explanation, what are the details . What do they think it means . Our assumption of the big isnt enough. Our preconceived notions of where the story might go are almost always different then where the story comes out when we have done the reporting. I know of no import story that i have worked on in more than half a century of reporting that ended up where i thought it would go when i started on it. The people with the information we want should not be pigeonholed or prejudged by their ideology or their politics. Almost all of our sources in watergate were people who had at one time or another been committed to Richard Nixon and his presidency. Incremental reporting is essential. We wrote more than 200 stories on watergate. Whenever i would say, lets go for the big picture, bob would say, here is what we know now and are ready to put in the paper. Then inevitably one story led to another and another, and the larger tale extended because of this reportorial dynamic. The best obtainable version of the truth became repeatedly clearer, more developed, and understandable. We are reporters, not judges, not legislators. But the government what the government and citizens do with the information we develop is not our part of the process nor our objective. Our job is to put the best obtainable version of the truth out there, period. Especially now. [applause] thank you. I am honored to be standing here with carl, who has, over the decades, taught me so much about journalism. As he says, journalism is about connections, finding the people that know what is hidden, and establishing relationships of trust. That was the first lesson from carl in 1972. He obtained a list of people who worked at nixons campaign committee, not surprisingly from a former girlfriend. [laughter] bob he is finally embarrassed. [laughter] bob no one would talk. Carl said, here is what we have to do. Launching a system, knocking on doors when we did not have an appointment. We later wrote, the nighttime visits were frankly fishing expeditions. The trip was getting inside someones apartment or house. Bits and pieces came. We saw fear at times. We heard about document destruction, a massive housecleaning at the nixon reelection committee. A money trail, an organized wellfunded cover up. Clark mcgregor, then the Nixon Campaign manager, called the editor of the Washington Post to complain. Mcgregor reported, they knocked on doors late at night and telephoned from the lobby. They hounded 5 women. Bradleys response that is the nicest thing i have heard about them in years. [laughter] bob and maybe ever. In 1973, i recall standing on pennsylvania avenue with carl after a court hearing. We watched 3 of the watergate burglars filling a cab, front and back seat. Carl was desperate, desperate that he would lose them in this opportunity. He was short on cash and didnt know where he might be going. I gave carl 20. There was no room in the cab, but carl, uninvited, got in any way, piling in on top of these people as the door slammed. He ended up flying with the lawyer to new york city and came back with another piece of the puzzle. I never got my 20. [laughter] bob the point very aggressive reporting is often necessary. Bradley and the editors of the Washington Post gave us the precious luxury of time to pursue all leads, all people who might know something, even something small. Now in 2017, the inpatient and speed of the internet and our own rush can disable and undermine the most important tool of journalism. That luxury of time to inquire, to pursue, to find the real agents of genuine news, witnesses, participants, documents, to dive into the cab. Any president and his administration in washington is clearly entitled to the most serious reporting efforts possible. We need to understand, to listen, to dig. Obviously our reporting needs to get both facts and tone right. The press, especially in the socalled mainstream media, comes under attack, particularly during president ial campaigns like this one and its aftermath. Like politicians and president s, sometimes, perhaps too frequently, we make mistakes and go too far. When that happens, we should own up to it. The effort today to get this best obtainable version of the truth is largely made in good faith. Mr. President , the media is not fake news. [applause] bob lets take that off the table as we proceed. As the executive editor of the post said in recent speeches, reporters should display modesty and humility, bending over backwards and sincerely, not only to be fair, but to demonstrate to people that we intend and will be fair. In other words, that we have an obligation to listen. At the same time, marty said when we have done our job thoroughly, we have a duty to tell people what we have learned, and to tell it to them forthrightly without masking our findings or or muddling them. Journalists should not have a dog in the fight unless to obtain a best obtainable version of the truth. The centrality of factbased reporting is careful, scrupulous, listening, and an open mind. President nixon once said, the problem with journalists is that they look in the mirror when they should be looking out the window. That is certainly one thing nixon said that carl and i agree with. Whatever the climate, whether the media is revered or reviled, we should and must persist. And i believe we will. We also need to face the reality that polling numbers show that most americans disapprove of and distrust the media. This is no time for selfsatisfaction or smugness. As ben bradley said in 1997, 20 years ago, the more aggressive our search for truth, the more some people are offended by the press. So be it. [applause] bob ben continued, i take great strength knowing that in my experience, the truth does emerge. It takes forever sometimes, but does emerge. And any relaxation by the press will be extremely costly to democracy. Carl and i are grandfathers, perhaps greatgrandfathers in american journalism. But we can see that the three journalists that we are recognizing tonight are some of the finest examples of that craft of persistence. Thank you. [applause] bob we are going to give out these awards. They are cash awards. I believe the cash is redeemable through shares in amazon. [laughter] bob which may be a better investment. Where are the winners . They are ready, okay. Thank you. The aldo beckman memorial award goes to greg jaffe of the Washington Post. [applause] bob it is for his coverage of the last days of the obama presidency. The contrast which he demonstrated between the realities of 2016, and the hopes of 2008. He examined quite brilliantly the political divisions in the obama years. The Merriman Smith memorial award goes to edwardisaac dovere of politico. [applause] bob this is the award for his deadline coverage of the meeting between president obama and cuban president raul castro. It demonstrated i think he did the story 90 minutes after this happened, and it showed the importance of having reporters on the ground who actually knew what was going on. [applause] carl finally, the edgar a. Poe award goes to David Fahrenthold of the Washington Post. [applause] carl and as many in this room know, david is being honored for his comprehensive investigation of candidate Donald Trumps Charitable Giving and the real numbers. [applause] carl congratulations. Jeff thank you bob and carl, and congratulations award winners. A special thank you to our judges. [applause] jeff it is now time to get to the entertainment portion of our program. And i couldnt be more pleased to introduce hasan minhaj. I am psyched to say that he is keenly interested in what we do and the causes we fight for. Hasan is a correspondent on the daily show, and his oneman show homecoming king will debut on netflix. Ladies and gentlemen, hasan minhaj. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Series Finale of the white house Correspondents Dinner. Oh man. [laughter] my name is hasan minaj, or as i will be known in a few weeks number 830. Who would have thought . With everything going on in the country, that a muslim would be standing on this stage for the ninth year in a row baby. [applause] we had eight years of barack,i see you barry. That is cool. [laughter] for those of you who do not know me, i am a correspondent on the daily show. I see some of you whispering to each other, what is Comedy Central . It is basically an internship for netflix. [laughter] i would like to thank jeff mason in the white house, i would say it is an honor to be here but that would be an alternative fact, it is not. No one wanted to do this. So of course it lands in the hand of an immigrant, that is how it plays out. [applause] don rickles died so you would not ask him to do this. The only man with thick enough skin to take a joke like that. That is my only trump joke. I was told not to go after the administration, that is my only trump joke. Believe me. [laughter] it is amazing to be among the greatest journalists in the world and yet when we all checked into the hilton we all got a usa today. [laughter] every time a usa today flies at me, i say hey you are not that smart, right . Usa today is what happens when the groupon section takes over the newspaper. [laughter] is this an article about Global Warming or . 50 off tires, either way the pictures are so pretty. [laughter] tonight is about defending the First Amendment and the free press. I am honored to be here even though all of hollywood hold out, it is going to be like the red wedding in here. For the record the w hca are not King Joffreys goons, i am glad you are here to honor a american tradition because we all know this administration likes to alter history like anthony weiner. [laughter] ok, listen. I get it. We have to introduce the elephant that is not in the room. [laughter] the leader of our country is not here. That is because he lives in moscow, it is a long flight. Why cant we make it on a saturday for him . As for the other guy, he is in pennsylvania because he cant take a joke. For the nine people watching on cspan, there was another elephant in the room, donald trump junior shot it and cut off its tail. [laughter] a lot of people told me, hansa if youn go after the administration it will be petty. , here we go. I get why he did not want to be roasted, he has been roasted for the past seven years. Historically he usually performs at the dinner, i speak for all of us when he cannot suffer much for bombing this month. A lot of people in the media say that donald trump goes golfing too much. Which raises a very important question, why do you care . Do you want to know what he is doing when he is not golfing, being president. Let the man puttputt, teach them how to play badminton, keep and distracted. The longer he is distracted, the longer we are not at war with north korea. Every time he goes golfing, the headline should read trump golfing apocalypse delayed takes the w. This is great. I love this. I have already hired Kellyanne Conway to tell everybody that i killed. I like that everybody is drinking and having a good time. He does not touch of the hall which is oddly respectable. Think about that. That means [laughter] every statement [laughter] every interview [laughter] every tweet completely sober. [laughter] how is that possible . We have all had that excuse, havent we . I was hammered, that is not who i really am. Listen, that bus on billy bush that is exactly who i am. [laughter] [applause] he tweets at 3 00 a. M. Sober. [laughter] who is tweeting at 3 00 a. M. Sober . Donald trump because that is passed 10 00 a. M. In russia those are business hours. Now that a professional wrestler is our president. Anything is possible. You know how that used to have a positive connotation, now we are like anything is possible. [laughter] anything. The white house is so stressful, i have been watching house of cards just to relax. [laughter] a congressman pushed a journalist in front of a train, that is quaint. [laughter] it is not just the president who decided not to show up, his entire administration is not here. That is because Michele Bachmann is showing children her collection of tears. A lot of people think betsy devos hates education, every morning she is up at 5 00 a. M. Putting children on their bike to school, dont you tell me she is out of touch. Has anyone seen rick perry the Energy Secretary . I have a feeling he is sitting in a room of plutonium hoping to become spiderman. [laughter] now a lot of people think that steve bannon is the reason donald trump is a racist, that is not true. Is he here . I do not see steve bannon. I do not see steve bannon. Not see. Nazi steve bannon. Nazi steve bannon. [laughter] Frederick Douglass is not here, that is because he is dead. Somebody please help the president. [applause] mike pence wanted to be here, his wife would not let him take as of you ladies is populating red good job, ladies, because of you we cannot hang out with mike pence. [laughter] ivanka trump is not here either, i wish she was. If she was here, i would ask her a question we are all thinking, why . Why do you support this man . I get it, we all love our parents. But we would not endorse them for president. Should your dad be president of the United States . I would say, my dad [laughter] the guy who tried to return used underwear at cosco . No. Jeff sessions could not be here tonight, he is doing a precivil war enactment. [laughter] on his are as vp he wrote no, that happens to be his second favorite nword. Even Hillary Clinton could not be here tonight, i think someone told her they are that was in wisconsin and michigan. What . Nate silver told me that joke would kill. He said there was a 74 chance of that happening. I trusted you. Did you hear that grown . Enough about slithering, we are here to talk about the truth. It is 2017 and we are living in the golden age of lying. Now is the time to be a liar, donald trump is liar in chief. Remember you guys are public enemy number one, you are his biggest enemy. Journalists, isis, normal length ties. [laughter] somehow you guys are the bad ones. That is what you have to keep your foot on the gas. Especially with sean spicer because i think he is trying to google how to fake his own death. [laughter] i love sean spicers press briefings, he is like going through his browser history while he watches. Stop it. Stop it. Stop shaking your head. It is the best. You guys are laughing but he has been in pr since 1999. He has been doing this job for 18 years. Somehow after 18 years his go to move when you ask a tough question is to deny the holocaust. [laughter] that is insane. How many people do you know that have a press briefing and meltdown. Only the spice man. Do notice crazy . Every day we do these jokes all of the time. The administration lies, he flipped lots, it does not matter. His supporters still trust him. It has not stop the momentum at all. It is is almost like the daily show should be on cspan. It has no impact. Its true. I realized something maybe it is because we are living in this time where trust is more important than truth. Supporters of trump support him, i know you guys are definitely trying to do good work. I think a lot of people dont trust you right now, can you blame them . Other than anderson coopers bone structured you guys are far from perfect. [laughter] remember Election Night, that was your steve harvey moment. It was like walking into a pinero bread and finding out your teacher has a parttime job, i was like what . [laughter] i guess you do not have all of the answers. It was all fun and games with obama, you are covering adults now you have President Trump, it is like cops have to solve a reallife murder. [laughter] fox news is here, i am amazed you guys showed up, how are you here in public . It is hard to trust you guys when you bill oreilly for years, it finally happened he has been fired but then [applause] you gave him a 25 million severance package being the only package she wont force a woman to touch. In his defense he was told i a close friend that when you are a star you can do it, you can do anything. You guys are having a hard time with Jesse Watters right now. He is on a break. Just like my childhood dog is on a farm upstate. I know that move. I know some of you are wondering, hasan, how do you know so much about fox news . I like to as a muslim watch fox news and turn my brain off and watch strangers insult my heritage. [laughter] msnbc is here tonight, i am glad, if there is a bombing you can describe it as stunning. It is hard to trust you guys when you are sending so many mixed messages. You say a prison complex is a bad thing but then you air five straight hours of lockup. You cannot be mad at corporations profiting off of minorities in prison, but then show programming about that. We need to chill about the tax returns, i do not know what you will find and their. There will be a line item just like bribe from russia. It does not work like that. You are the liberal news outlet. I would like a melon and version of chris hayes, i want to root for you that you are turning into conspiracy theorists. The russians attacked our elections. Everyone in the middle east is like a Foreign Government tampered with your election, what is that like . Do tell. [laughter] just pump the brakes. We are only on day 100, by the end of the election youll will have jars of urine and tinfoil hats. [laughter] [applause] now i have a lot more msnbc jokes, i dont want to ramble on or i may get a show there. [laughter] [applause] last but not least, my favorite intergenic channel is on the docket tonight, cnn is here. You guys have some very weird trust issues, i am not going to call you fake news but everything is not breaking news. [laughter] you cant go to devcon one because we found something new. Every time a story breaks you have nine boxes on the screen, i am trying to watch the news not play street fighter created it gives me anxiety. If you have nine experts on a panel, what is your barrier of entry . [laughter] here to talk about transportation, when you got . It just says gary. Lets go to the next countdown clock. [laughter] oh you guys is stoke conflict, it feels like i am watching a reality tv show. Cnn should be called wait a second, stop yelling at each other with don lemon. [applause] you know you are news right . Every time i watch cnn it seems like you are assigning me homework. I dont know, you tell me, tweet us. No you tell me. [laughter] i am watching the news. It feels like i am watching cnn watch the news. [laughter] [applause] just take one hour and figure out what you want to say. Then go on the air. [laughter] [applause] every time i turn you guys on, it seems like a chicken just walked into a room and is trying to tell a story. [kid noises] breathe, drink some milk. I know i am busting balls, i do not have a solution for this. In the age of trump, i know that you guys have to be more perfect now more than ever. Because you are how he is getting his news. [laughter] not from advisers, not experts, not from intelligence agencies, but you guys. That is why you have to be on your agame, you cannot make mistakes. Once you mess up, he will plan your entire group. Now you know what it feels like to be a minority. [laughter] [applause] and i see some of you guys complaining, remember you are a minority. [laughter] you guys have a lot more experience than me, i have three decades of being brown, you have to think like a minority, as a minority everyone is going to expect you to be a mouthpiece for the entire group. I hate to say it but somewhere right now all of you are being represented by geraldo rivera. [laughter] see now that you are a minority, there is an express, taco bell for journalism. Then when you actually manage to do great work you get the most condescending line. Hey, you are actually one of the good ones. Then you have to smile and say thank you. That kind of sucks, doesnt it . You guys are really minorities, you are super white. But your work is invaluable, i mean that as a fake journalist. We are 100 days in, to go. You guys are at the halfmile and i am wishing you nothing but the best. [laughter] you chafe . It is a long way to go. This has been one of the strangest events i have ever done in my life. [laughter] let me be honest with you, i feel like i am a tribute at the hunger games. If this goes south, steve bannon will get to beat me. [laughter] i was asked to not roast the president and the administration, i can understand that. We are in a strange situation where there is a very combative relationship between the press, the president , but now that you guys are minorities just for this moment, you may understand the position i was in. It is the same position a lot of minorities feel like they are in. Do i come up here and try to fit in . Not ruffle any feathers . Or do i say how i really feel . Because this event is about celebrating the First Amendment and free speech [applause] free speech is the foundation of open and liberal democracy. From College Campuses to the white house. Only in america can a firstgeneration muslim kid get on the stage and make fun of the president. [applause] the orange man behind the muslim ban. It is a sign to the rest of the world that this tradition that even the president is not be on the reach of the First Amendment. [applause] but the president did not show up. Because donald trump does not care about free speech. The man who tweets that everything that enters his head, refuses to a knowledge the amendment that allows him to do it. Think about it. It is 11 00 p. M. In four hours donald trump will be tweeting about how bad nicki minaj bombed at this dinner. He will be doing that completely sober. [laughter] that is his right. I am proud that all of us are here tonight to defend that right, even if the man in the white house never would. I would like to thank the White House Correspondents Association for having me here. I want to thank all of you. I want to thank would word and bernstein for inspiring a generation of journalists. I would like to thank donald trump for inspiring the next. [applause] it has been an honor, good night, i love you. [applause] thank you, i really appreciate it. [applause] that concludes our evening, we hope you enjoyed the program and the food. Thank you to hasan, bob, carl, and the hilton staff. Thank you all for coming and have a great evening. [applause] next, live, your calls and comments on washington journal. Robthen newsmakers with bishop. After that, saturdays Climate Change rally on the national mall. Q a, we talk with author brad snyder about his group about his book on a group of intellectuals. Including Louis Brandeis and Herbert Hoover who met regularly in the 1900s to debate politics in the future of the country. I think everyone associated race was not a civilian issue for them. They cared about the rights of workers. Took Oliver Wendell holmes junior in some of his opinions including a 1923 case known as more of id. See, which found for the first time that the trials of southern blacks violated the due process structures. This was the first time that a. Tate struck down and linking the idea of fair criminal trials with race. Tonight, at 8 00 on cspans opened you q a. This morning, former health and Human Services deputy secretary torry discusses President Trumps first 100 days in office. And then the host of the young turks and founder and ceo of the thank you t Network Advances Progressive Opposition to the trump presidency. Later, Illinois High School teachers andrew kane and Daniel Larson discusses the upcoming advanced placement u. S. Government exam and what students can expect on the test. We will be taking calls from High School Students only. As always, we can take your calls and you can join the conversation on facebook and twitter. Washington journal is next. President trump a large Group F Hollywood actors and washington media are consoling each other in a Hotel Ballroom in our Nations Capital right now. 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