Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140219

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140219

And did a spittake but it wasnt like a funny spittake it was just kind of a sad one. It was not like oh, my god it was just you couldnt swallow milk in a world where people can just shoot people in a fight that they themselves instigated. Well, guess what . You probably shouldnt take a sip of milk right now. The verdict in the michael dunn case. The jury did not convict him for killing teenager jordan davis. Jon that may sound like your run of mill florida bat bleep in which the killer was not convicted for the killing. Dunn says he and his fiancee pulled into a jacksonville gas station park next to a red Dodge Durango playing music so loud his own car was vibrating. Jon oh, my god that sounds terribly like every gas station and Convenience Store parking lot in america. [ laughter ] perhaps there was an extenuating circumstance. Do you have any type of ear damage . I do. Can you explain to the jury what damage you have and how you got that . Um, growing up in the keys scuba dive saying big part of is a big part of life and i have damage to my right ear. Jon and did this loud thumping create you any discomfort . Did it in my left ear, my sensitive ear. Jon those hooligans thoughtlessly playing loud music knowing it would attract moth like someone with one sensitive ear. [ laughter ] now you might think to yourself why didnt old pinder drums park somewhere else . [laughter] because former scuba diving vigilantes dont play that bleep . You dont recall saying i hate that thug music . If i would have said anything i would have called it rap crap. [ laughter ] jon because believe you me i know my racially continuinged terms for music. The music were klezmer, i would have called it jewsic. [laughter] if the music were chinese, i would call it wok and woll. [ laughter ] and of course, we all know the ennuits play eskimotown. I have 50 of these. [laughter] all right by the way im not saying dunn is racist. In fact he is a keen observer of everyone elses racism as evidenced by this letter he wrote while awaiting trial. Its spooky how racist everyone is and how biased towards blacks the courts are. The jail is full of blacks and they act like thugs. Jon see that the courts are so biased towards blacks that they are letting all of them go to jail. [ laughter ] picking up three squares a day and free gym membership. They even get to sleep in bunk beds. Better than camp but whack to the back to the event. Dunn hes he politely spoke to the teens. I said can you turn that down, please. Jon oh, my god he said please and they were like thugs with the rap cap and they took out if the gat strks and they said you want music i got music like this and they held it like this boom boom, not like a normal person holds a gun. Like this they held the gun. They turned it off. [laughter] jon they turned their music off when they were asked to. I guess were done here. Something else must have happened. Dunn said davis got out threatening him with a gun. Jon oh, mother bleep back up. Back up bleep because ill shoot you bam bam. No one else saw davis with a gun or even saw jordan davis get out of the car. [ laughter ] jon oh, well, somebody had a gun. Dunn says he retrieved his gun from the glove bomb and fired box and fired nine shots into the s. U. V. Even steppinging out of his own car toll continue shooting as the s. U. V. Drove off. Jon o oh, that poor man i couldnt imagine how loud the nine shots must have been on his boo boo ear. Wait. The car was fleeing and he shot on it. How was dunn standing his ground . It sounds like he was actually gaining ground. He killed someone. Apparently thats not what he is going to jail for. Michael dunn was found guilty that three counts after tempted murder for shooting at the other three young men in the car, the ones who survived. The message in florida is pretty clear. If you fire a gun you better bleep hit somebody. [ laughter ] if theres one thing floridians wont tolerate its survivors. For more were joined by jessica williams. Thank you so much. [cheers and applause] this jury on the murder charge, the hung jury in the murder charge, its that be hard to take. Yeah, jon, the dunn verdict is really the cherry on top of bleep sundae that is black history myfoxdc first we got assigned february the month nobody wants. The only month that contains the letters f and u and then, in case we didnt get the message they round out the month but letting another white guy off for gunning down a black kid. You do know its not like deer season or turkey season, snriet its not the month when you are allowed to shoot black people. Jon thats okay. Why do you think the jury believed his self defense claim . The kids were unarmed. Sure, they looked unarmed to us and the police and other eye witnesses but thats because were not wearing fear goggles. Jon fear golgs . Thats the lens through which chronically terrified white people look at black kids. Like, say, a guy who carries a gun ins a glove compartment and thinks juries favor black people. Fear goggles turn Something Like this into this. Once you put on fear golgs youll hit anything with a bullet. Anything. Jon its like what can young black people do then in the face of this automatic fear. Im glad you asked. I come up with a new curriculum for black history month. Forget that George Washington carver peanut crap. They need life lessons they can use. Jon like what . Stay in school, kids. Jon good advice for anybody. By which i mean if you are at school, stay in the build. If you are at home, stay at hoax dont go wandering into the street where you might scare a white person. [ laughter ] whatever you need, order it in, amazon prime, those are your friends now. Which brings us to lesson two, dont hang out with your friends anymore. [ laughter ] jon stay inside isnt there safety in numbers . Not for black teenagers. The only thing scarier than one black kid say whole pack of them. Four black guys could be taking a calculus test together and to jumpy white folks it would still like a scene from the wire. Turn the music off. Jon what if its not rap. Cant they listen to classical . Like what yo yo ma because that sounds ghetto to me, jon. Jon what if the black kids said they felt threatened because dunn actually had a gun and he came after them. Couldnt they have shot dunn and claimed stand your ground . No, no, no, no, have you seen the statistics that works for black people about 1 of the time. The stand your Ground Defense is like bleach. It works miracles for whites but it will ruin your colors. [ laughter ] jon jessica williams, ladies and gentlemen. Jon jessica williams, ladies and gentlemen. Here in philadelphia you can access a philly cheesesteak anytime, day or night. Just like you can access geico anytime, day or night. 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That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be . [cheers and applause] jon you know, weve had a proud tradition weve got a proud tradition in america of defengd the union labels defending the union labels especially against foreign products or foreign. What if fern foreigners want to make products in america. Volkswagen employees in chattanooga, tennessee voted against joining the uaw last week. It would have been the first in the south to be organized by the union. Jon first in the south run by humans obviously. We remember how violent that struggle got for the keebler elves when they unionized. That elf is ten times bigger than i would have thought. Its not surprising. Im sure vaiks volkswagen pulled out every trick in the book. What tactic did they go with the dead fish . The goons . The dead fish goons . [laughter] which was it . Vaiks wagen was neutral to pos volkswagen was neutral to positive because theyve had good relations with unions. They wants a work council slash union at this facility in chattanooga. Jon the old reverse psychology trick. Go ahead be in the union. Well be best friends forever lets us enjoy a rave together. [laughter] sthump. [ laughter ] apparently we store these in the carpet. [ laughter ] so the germans like the union or as they would say, they felt ubergubenvagen [laughter] vokes waken was volkswagen was okay with it who was against it . Politicians worked hard on this once. They came out strongly against the union. They said it was because they thought it would hurt Economic Development in the region. Jon politicians that has to be pesky democrats because they stick their noses where they dont believe. I believe the germans call that [making up a word] beautiful language german. Which was of the democrats was it . There was powerful pressure from Tennessee Republican governor bill haslam. The senator said he learned vw will bring the new s. U. V. To chattanooga if the employees at the current plant decide not to unionize. Jon if only that were true and volkswagen itself hadnt said the opposite of that. I wish before they employed the heavy hand government driven interventions in the free market process woe list tn other republicans. I believe our government shouldnt be in the business of picking winners and losers in the marketplace. This government is fond of picking winners and losers. We want to get government out of way of economic growth. [ laughter ] free market stuff. It would be something if we had senator bob corker touting how government should not interfere in the free market. What are the chance . I think that message, that free market message, that messth of message of look, were a great country. We dont want the government to be involved. Im pretty sure the germans have a word for someone who he espouses strict principal but only whit suits their narrow purpose and that word is bleep . Its exactly weird. Well about it guy 2 i told you you could build your own skillet. Guy 1 im glad i got it while its still around. With 30 ingredients to choose from, you cant go wrong. Guy 2 yeah, ive never had a combo like this. Guy 1 like i always say, youve got to try something new. Guy 2 try something new . Youve had the same haircut since seventh grade. Waitress hey, welcome to dennys. Perfectly bitesized drops of rich and creamy chocolate happiness. When the chocolate is hersheys, life is delicious. The rich dark chocolate. York peppermint pattie. Get the sensation. [ male announcer ] cant take a sick day tomorrow. [ coughs ] [ male announcer ] so he cant let a cold keep him up tonight. Vicks nyquil. Powerful nighttime 6 symptom cold and flu relief. [cheers and applause] jon welcome back. My guest tonight Academy Award winning actor. His Netflix Series showing its Second Season is called house of cards. Have you ever considered serving in the leadership . I figure that might be possible eight, ten years from now. What if i suggested you could serve in leadership this term to replace me as whip . You are being tapped for vp . Lets assume that is true. That makes sense but me as whip . Yes. A thirdterm congresswoman. A universally admired incumbent who happens to be a war veteran. Webb is next in line or buckwalter. So just consider that for a moment. Jon we will dom become to the program kevin spacey. [cheers and applause] welcome back to the program kevin s spacey. [cheers and applause] kevin spacey [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] what are you going to do . Beefcake what are you going to do . You machiavellian piece of bleep uconn you conniving its so good. Perhaps you have your white man fear goggles on. Jon you dont scare me spacey. How did they get you Everybody Knows netflix now is delivering these incredible shows. At the time when the house of cards first came out they are the company that sends you dvds in the mail. When they come to you and say this do you go what are you talking about . You are not even a network . Ive been talking about this happening for about eight years. One of these companies, it was either netflix or hulu or google who somebody who made ga zillions of dollars was going to want to get into the original content business. They were going to want to compete. It made sense to me when we went out to house of cards. We went to the networks, everybody. And netflix said we believe in you. We like the original british series and we dont need you to do a pilot. How many do you want to do . And we were like really . You would [laughter] we how many do you want to do . [laughter] 26. [ laughter ] and they said yes. For us, it was a fantastic partnership. Theyve been great to work with and ive had the time of my life. Jon its amazing. Amazing character. The only issue real is so it comes out on val 2009s day. Isnt that valentines day. Isnt that romantic. Jon it really s. How do you put those it really s. How do you put those relationships back together again where someone else in the house might say yeah, yeah, its great. House of cards is on. Its better than going to dinner and having nothing to say to each other. Jon are you asking me to dinner . [laughter] do you have to spend time in washington with are you did you follow a whip . Yeah, i did. I followed Kevin Mccarthy and steny hoyer. Kevin mcdarthy. He carthy he even invited me to a whip meeting which was really interesting. [cheers and applause] jon giuliani shut most of those places down. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] the so when you are that close to the power center of the country, do you feel the darkness . Does it or like as an observer of it, it looks utterly corrupt and core rosive. When what zit feel like . It feels like you are watching Performance Art. I dont believe them. I dont believe what they say. I dont think they are being absolutely sincere. I think its Performance Art and most of them are bad actors. Jon they are bad actors that is what is so weird. [cheers and applause] did you ever see. Would they ever drop the facade. Do you think it was a performance for your benefit or are they lying to themselves and each other . Mmm, mmm. [laughter] jon well be right back with more. What do you think . I think the often the delusion is very deep. It runs very deep. Jon they believe in their heart what they are saying. Except for the ones that know they are full of bleep . Jon give me a ballpark percentage. [ laughter ] actually mccarthy said a very funny thing. He said this publicly he said it to me privately and later he said it publicly he said if you could kill just one member of congress i wouldnt have to worry about another vote and seven congressmen called him to say. A the one you would kill . Is it me . I thought it was a low number actually. Jon that is a low number. Do you think after being there that they are capable of that . Because the one area you would like to think house of cards takes some Artistic License is the murdering part. [ laughter ] if the first season. Not the second did i ruin everything. In the first run. bleep spoiler. [laughter] jon what i meant in the first one thats the one that did it. Weve certainly had politicians accused of such a thing in history. Theres no doubt about it and they certainly back in the day, in the roman days they were bleep killing everybody. [ laughter ] jon right. Was there anyone there with like a soul trying to get out . Was there if you look behind somebodys eyes was there maybe like a little girl behind them going please help me . Yeah shes back. Jon wild, man. Its awesome. House of cards season 2 is now available on netflix and lord knows what is going to happen this season. The great kevin spacey, ladies and gentlemen. [ male announcer ] a car that is able to see, to calculate, to think and can respond to what it encounters. Even if that means completely stopping itself. Its the stuff of science fiction. Minus the fiction. The 2014 eclass. See your authorized dealer for exceptional offers through mercedesbenz financial services. Youd like to have a product oh that eliminates odors and doesnt just mask them. Were looking for the smelliest area. I have not cleaned the cat box. It smells really clean. [ male announcer ] dont just mask odors, eliminate them with febreze air effects. To help pay for her kids ice time, before earning 1 cash back. Guys everywhere, every time. Close the front door and 2 back at the grocery store, even before she got 3 back on gas with no hoops to jump through, katie used her bankamericard cash rewards credit card to stay warm and toasty during the heat of competition. Thats the comfort of rewarding connections. Apply online or at a bank of america near you. What is focus . Its a wondrous sensation of clarity and alertness. Its owning your opponent. Its knowing beyond a doubt you got this. Its keeping your head down, your eye on the ball, and knocking it out of the park. Its getting in the zone. Its keeping on your toes. On target. On top. Focus is staring the world in the face and saying bring it. Focus is power. Focus is life. And 5hour energy is focus. You guys ever try one of these bars made

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