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SO here we are, this is July 2021 – extraordinary, isn’t it? Nigel Farage is still so desperate for attention that he’ll sail out into the Channel to call people on a blow-up dinghy cheapskates and speculate about whether a gust of wind might end their lives. I suppose we should be glad he didn’t take a wave machine with him, inspired by some of the ideas that have been floated by Priti Patel’s Home Office team. That would certainly have helped boost the GB News ratings. The Telegraph recently reported that Andrew Neil’s new broadcasting venture was attracting fewer viewers than the Horror Channel, which risks giving the team ideas. If you can’t beat them, join them. People want to watch horror? Oh, Farage and co can provide it. If they get any more desperate they’ll be buying up inflatables for some kind of psychopathic aquatic hybrid of Black Mirror, Gladiators and It’s A Knockout.

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