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Marlon Brando
President Orders Brando to Gain 250 Pounds
Star s Raw Sexuality Too Dangerous at Present Weight, Ike Says
Responding to what he termed an unacceptable and increasingly dangerous caliber of brooding, smoldering sexuality, President Eisenhower took executive action Thursday against Marlon Brando, directing him to gain 250 pounds. Mr. Brando, your talent as an actor is undeniable, Eisenhower wrote in a letter to the star of
On the Waterfront. But your overt masculinity and alluring dissatisfaction with the comforts of modern American life pose a clear threat to our domestic security.
The president called for an immediate fattening of the actor, asking Brando to gain no fewer than 250 pounds, and to let yourself go completely and without restraint.
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