it happened.
Sixteen weeks into my second pregnancy, while home alone, I had a miscarriage. Suddenly, and without warning, I saw myself and the overwhelming sense of loss I was feeling in my patients. Learning how to navigate that loss while simultaneously caring for my patients required a level of self-evaluation I was, admittedly, ill-prepared to endure. But as I transitioned back to work post-miscarriage, and learned how to hold space for both my patients and myself to grieve, I realized I was also inadvertently becoming a better mental health care provider.
I found myself able to relate to my patients in a way I never imagined, creating room for mourning to enter my work in a different, far more personal way. I’d always cared deeply about my patients, but I never envisioned I’d one day become them.
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Although miscarriage is very common, it can feel difficult to talk about. Up to 20% of known pregnancies end in loss, yet many who’ve been through it still describe a sense of shame and stigma around the experience.
It may feel even more uncomfortable to address miscarriage with children. If your child knows he or she is getting a new sibling and then that changes, you may be left wondering how to break the news or if you even should.
“Although very painful and difficult, it is important for parents to take the step of explaining pregnancy loss to their children because even at a very young age, children can pick up on others’ emotions,” said Becky Stuempfig, a licensed marriage and family therapist.