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It’s no secret Love Actually has aged like a cucumber you forgot about at the back of the fridge, and then when you finally find it again it’s just a sac of mouldy green mush, like some sort of horrific water snake toy. In short: It fucking sucks. Of all the storylines, the film’s only redeemable quality may have been the lesbian love story, but unfortunately those scenes were cut from Love Actually before the film ever screened. The film was released in 2003, and it’s fair to say the world has changed a lot since then. But between the Nokia bricks, the fat jokes and some just all-around dodgy plot points, it’s fair to say almost every Love Actually storyline wouldn’t be the same if it had been filmed today. But which Love Actually storylines still hold up now, and which is definitively the worst?

United statesRowan atkinsonHarry alan rickmanBillie eilishMartine mccutcheonBill nighySarah laura linneyAlan rickmanBilly mackHugh grantJamie colin firthMeryl streepPrime ministerNatalie martine mccutcheonKaren emma thompsonJoni mitchell