i thought that johnny carson came witith the tv s set. w what the hehell were yoyou thinking? dave was the new johnny, for me. i m not exactly a computer, slow down. it felt edgy before i was probably old enough h to appreciaiate what ededgy was. you betetter be as s good as letterman! i ll give it a shot. my heart dropped through my butt, exited my butt. holy [ [ bleep ]ining [ bleep p. this isis madness.. absolute madness. it makes every hair on my bodydy stand up.p. we rere on! but n nobody s a a late-nigh host u until they y are one. fires, looting, and violence, tomorrow we ll drown out the negative voices that have health us back too long. fires leading to violence, five people are dead the end of an era. after ruling late night television for 30 years, johnny carson steps down tonight. the buildup to the last tonight s show was l like a t that was going to be derailed, and all you can do is stand by and watch. here s bette midler.
fleabag: i m not obsessed with sex. i just can t stop thinking about it. dan levy: sexuality has come a long way in sitcom history. larry: can you donate a peninis to a p person who o s transitit? > i m not obsessssed with s. i justst can t stotop thinkingnt itit. sexuauality has c come a lony inin sitcom history.y. c can you dononate a peninis person w who s transnsitioning? laughter is a a great way to deal with a very tricky world. daddy horny, my god. > sitcoms t talk about t sex my underwear. my god. and about relationships. i i m breakining up with h h tonight.t. thehese shows c changed the that we ththink about t sexuali foror god s sakake, ellen, , him you u re gay. > you re tatalking abouout g rirights. you re talalking about women s rightsts. g gender diveversity. > dismantliling the patatria youou know, sexexual revolul so i m m officiallyly out of to [ b bleep ]. i i have to geget married d or but i if you can n make them laugugh,
- you know what i like? i like sichuan. man, i l love the fofood here. you u know what t else i li? tortrturing my f friend éric c ripert. i don n t know whyhy. maybybe it s bececause he s so dadamn nice. [exhaleses] you u high, man?n? you look k . - i am.. but i likeke it. - yeyeah? - you coululd pretty m much tetear his toeoenails outt anand he d stitill find sosometg nice to say about you. he s s so politete, yet t if you looook closel, and i i do, his didiscomfot can bebe exquisitete. [blowingng nose] - he s t the devil.. look a at him. [u[upbeat rockck music] both: i took k a walk through ththis beautifulul world felt the e cool rainn on my y shoulder found somomething gooood inin this beaututiful worldld i felt t the rain getting g colder - l la, la - sha l la, la, la,a, la sha l la, la, la,a, la - sha l la, la, laa - sha la,a, la, la, l la sha l la, la, la,a, la, la - it s t the spicy,, sensnsualist heaeartland of a all the thihings i l
i llll be honestst with you. it s begeginning to o look like not going g to get ththe tonig show. when institutions move from one caretaker to another, there is upheaval in people s lives. hey, trevor. whwhat s happepening? could you give me like 20 more minutes? the internet has changed everything. we didn t know what we were doing. we e could haveve had it alal and then late night is hit with the biggest challenge it has ever faced. time for social distancing, pack your things and go they were always in your home, but now you get to be in theirs. my first guest tonight, as you can see, is mr. bubble. people were just like, everything in the world sucks right now. i needed this so much. just swing for the fences and see how many lives you can ruin. something has changed. you can t ignore it. stop saying this is not who we are and start asking what can i do to change it. cutting the cord to the cable company or the satellite company is a
Pivot pivot chandler shut up shut up p shut upup Lisa Kududrow i feeeel like wet to k know these e sitcom chahar; theyre e your frienends. Ross i dont ththink its going to p pivot anymomore. Chchandler andnd rachel you thinink . Jason Alexander they were purely selfish anand purely i immature. Jerry a are you Stitill Mastster of Yourur Domain . Elelaine im queen of the casastle. Alalyson hanninigan youou he that youlll have Thohose Kinds s of relatioionships in your rereal life. Barney tonight isis about Cecelebrating Ouour Enduring B Bonds as friends,s, nay, famimily max gooood to see y you too girl, whwhere you going . Carnival . Ha kim fields your friends. Sometimes thats more family than the people thatat youre rerelated to. Toototie someththings bothering g you natalie ive never been happier. Ted danson trying to make your way in the world and having a safe harbour. You knowow, where eveverybody knows yourur name. Nonorm afternoon everybody. Y. Babar norm kramerer im out t elelain