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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240712

[ cheers and applause steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon tonight, join jimmy and his guests Chelsea Handler, senator Bernie Sanders musical guest the war on drugs and featuring the legendary roots crew and now, heres your host, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy thats your fault, yeah oh my goodness oh, hey. Thank you very much, everyone. Thank you. On a friday thats some friday love right there. Thank you. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Lets get to the news and jokes. Well, guys, everyone is still talking about last nights president ial debate. But based on the early ratings, it had about 7 million fewer viewers than the first one its not that 7 Million People chose not to watch, its that after the first debate they left the country [ laughter ] but based on some snap polls, trump won the debate by 98 to 2 thats according to the fair polling site guntotingeagle. Com. [ laughter ] but this is interestin

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Tonight, Charity Begins at court. And the cast of star wars answers just one question. Plus, stephen welcomes mark harmon and comedian Caitlin Weierhauser featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey happy friday nice to see you beautiful you audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen good to see you. Happy friday hello, my friends thank you so much. Wooo wooo got that friday feeling. Got that friday feeling in this room. Welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It is friday, and everybody is ready for the weekend. Trumps had another rough week on the impeachment front, but hes got something to look forward to this weekend. On saturday, hes going to the annual armynavy football game. Now, this is one sporting event where trumps got a pretty good chance of not getting booed. laughter and even if he is, the booing will be highly regimented sir

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Es wprenid p um wtras there a quid pro quo . Yeah announcer its the late show, live, with Stephen Colbert tonight not debatable and, stephen plays rugby with the new zealand all blacks. Plus, stephen welcomes live John Heilemann and alex wagner. Featuring live jon batiste and stay human. And now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen woooo thanks for joining us band playing cheers and applause oh, yeah. Theres nothing like it. There is no feeling like it, everybody. Hello, jon you ready . Jon were ready. Lets get it lets go. Audience Stephen Stephen stephen. Stephen were piping it, were piping it right out of the pipehole, right here. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen beautiful beautiful. A ap rocky. Jon yeah, i like that. Stephen hi, everybody, please, have a seat. Thank you, friends down here, up there, all across america oh, welcome, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. An

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Tonight, Charity Begins at court. And the cast of star wars answers just one question. Plus, stephen welcomes mark harmon and comedian Caitlin Weierhauser featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey happy friday nice to see you beautiful you audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen good to see you. Happy friday hello, my friends thank you so much. Wooo wooo got that friday feeling. Got that friday feeling in this room. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It is tristate. Trumps had another rough week on the impeachment front, but hes got something to look forward to this weekend. On saturday, hes going to the annual armynavy football game. Now, this is one sporting event where trumps got a pretty good chance of not getting booed. laughter and even if he is, the booing will be highly regimented sir, boo, sir permission to tell you that you suck,

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Spoke by phone with President Trump. Was there a quid pro quo . Its the late show live. Tonight not debatable and stephen plays rugly with new zealands allblacks. Plus, stephen welcomes John Heilemann and alex wagner featuring live jon batiste and stay human. And now, live from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen woooo thanks for joining us stephen oh, yeah. Theres nothing like it. There is no feeling like teverybody. Hello, jon you ready . Jon were ready. Lets get it lets go. Audience Stephen Stephen stephen. Stephen were piping it right here. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen beautiful beautiful . A ap rocky. Jon yeah, i like that. Stephen hi, everybody, please, have a seat. Thank you, friends down here, up there, all across america welcome, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. And we cheers are live, live, right there after the democratic debate. It is the fifth debate, right . Th

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