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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20131214

Beer cans is going to go on display at the florida capital. Not kidding. Jon who gives a bleep . Cant you just pretend its a place for the wisemen to tie up the camels. How about that . You are turned about that pole. Its florida. You are lucky theres not a stripper named christmas swinging on it. Have you been to florida . I apologize you are upset ynch do i have to drive around with my kids to look for nativity scenes and be like oh, yeah kids theres baby jesus behind the festivus poll made out of pole made out of beer cans. Its nuts. [ laughter ] jon yes, that sounds relatively nuts. [laughter] why are you driving around [laughter] looking for nativity scenes in the car when you could just bring your kids to where you work where you put a giant nativity scene out on the plaza. [ laughter ] but as much as im used to gretchens yearly manger danger warnings a little surprised to see megyn kelly going full christmas nothing. On slate. Com they have a piece about santa claus should not b

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20140414

Weve a beautiful show tonight. Tonights guest matt taibbi, a journalist, author of the divide american injustice in the age of the wealth gap. Its a lf story. Its lovely. I added that last part. Our top story tonight begins in congress. Last week the Senate Intelligence committee voted to declassify a comprehensive report on our countrys use of um i guess what the c. I. A. What would called super aggressive terrorist suspect spa treatments during the Bush Administration. [laughter] anyway i assume that the declassified report is excull pa tory and reaffirmed the commitment to the american values. The exposed brutality that stands in stark contrast to our value as a nation. It chronicles a stain on the history that must never be allowed to happen again. This is not what americans do. Yes, this is not what americans except we did. We dont we dont do but we like with your internment coomps what did you call it there slavery america has a history of doing a tremendous amount of stuff that

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20131213

Christmas to keep the spirit of the season when christmas its very essence is under constant siege by someone, something. [laughter] its the subject of the new segment war on christmas bleep getting weird edition. First up. [ laughter ] the general patton of the war on christmas. Theres a crazier topic out there. Remember this classic seinfeld moment. Out of that a new holiday was born a festivus for the rest of us. Thats a classic ep said. The ep said was funny but not festivus. Jon yes, that episode was funny but not festivus the central comedic part of the episode. Not funny. Why is it not a holiday for the rest of us. A nearly six foot tall festivua Festivus Pole made of beer cans is going to go on display at the florida capital. Not kidding. Jon who gives a bleep . Cant you just pretend its a place for the wisemen to tie up the camels. How about that . You are turned about that pole. Its florida. You are lucky theres not a stripper named christmas swinging on it. Have you been to

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20131213

Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. Weve got a good one for you tonight. My guest evangeline lilly. But first i dont know what that was. [laughter] we all know christmas is everyones favorite holiday, everyones. Earchs. [ laughter ] everyones. [ laughter ] but its difficult for even the state your namest defenders of christmas to keep the spirit of the season when christmas its very essence is under constant siege by someone, something. [laughter] its the subject of the new segment war on christmas bleep getting weird edition. First up. [ laughter ] the general patton of the war on christmas. Theres a crazier topic out there. Remember this classic seinfeld moment. Out of that a new holiday was born a festivus for the rest of us. Thats a classic ep said. The ep said was funny but not festivus. Jon yes, that episode was funny but

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Transcripts For MSNBCW Morning Joe 20170329

Fridays crushing defeat. But a new report says that steve bannon is leading the way to resuscitate the bill. That will work. This morning senator Bernie Sanders is going to be our guesting. My daughter is so excited. She waited in line for three hours at Johns Hopkins to see him speak. Hell be on at 8 30. Welcome to morning joe. Its march 29. With us veteran columnist and msnbc contributor mike barnicle, former Campaign Director for ted cruzs campaign, rick tyler, msnbc anchor and Political Correspondent Steve Kornacki is with us. New york times reporter Jeremy Peters and senior political analyst for nbc news and msnbc Mark Halperin. The Trump Administration and the whole sort of trump era is shining a light on people. You look at everybody a little differently to see how do they respond. The one that is shining the brightest light on and i think has certainly changed the opinion, Mitch Mcconnell. I love yesterday trump and bannon came out, were going to do this, do this. Mitch mcconne

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