It started with larry larry i am la larry wilmore. Before we get started, id like to take a moment to say a Little Something about beards. Reporter andrew jones never made anything less than an a his entire four years at amite high school. Jones and a group of students were told they had to shave before they could march across the stage. Jones shaved the sides but chose not to shave the goatee and he wasnt allowed to participate in his own graduation. Larry you know, thats the same reason why chuck todd couldnt walk at his kindergarten graduation. Little known fact. laughter the more you know. And andrew jones wasnt just a straighta student, he was the valedictorian. audience reacts yes, i know. Why are educators cracking down on beards . Some of the greatest men in h history wore beards. What if they were forced to shave . Hey, einstein, that law of relativity looks interesting, but you cant publish it until you give steve harvey his mustache back. laughter right . Hey, jesus, walking
Oriental from federal law. Larry oriental . That term is still used in federal law . I can see why that was a unanimous decision trumpet playing taps oh, hey. Guys. Whats up . Bobby we lost another one. Were here to pay our respects. Benari damn p. C. Police, we cant have any fun anymore. Jack so, larry, if you dont mind, we would like to retire this word by hoisting it up into the rafters. Bobby it served us well for a long time. taps playing so long, oriental cheers and applause jack by the way, lar, thanks for bringing the nword back for us to use. Larry i did no such thing get out of here, you guys applause i didnt bring that back. cheers and applause i had no idea we cant use toots anymore. I had no idea. Ill have to stop using it. All right. Moving on to our top story societal malignant tumor George Zimmerman. George zimmerman is selling the gun he used to kill unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin, placing it up for auction online today. Larry yup, this is america, everybody. Im just
[cheers and applause] larry please, please. Welcome to the nightly show. I am larry wilmore. Thank you very much. Please have a seat. Thank you. So kind. Youre so kind. Last night we just did that the whole show. [laughter] i didnt even get the. It was good but i think we did all the work. I dont know. June has always been a proud month for the Lgbt Community. This week alone, Marriage Equality turned a year old. Obama named the Stonewall Inn a national monument, and at new york pride, Hillary Clinton marched among rainbow flags, which if you think about it, hold as many different colors as hillary has held different positions on gay rights. So with this outpowering of love for the Lgbt Community, i was surprised to see this on social media. Yes, hashtag heterosexual pride day was trending on twitter. Seriously . I mean ive heard of other offensive attempts to co opt a minority experience, like mens rights or all lives matter or panda express. But look, let me just say this to anybody
cheers and applause . Larry thank you very much. Thank you, such a good crowd. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the nightly show. Im larry wilmore. Thank you, maam, thank you very much. So we begin tonight with america. Well, just in time for the fourth of july the makers of budweiser are looking to replace budweiser with america on its labels this summer. Larry yeah, thats right. And now that its called america, they of course had to change the shape of the can. laughter applause yeah, hmmmm, hmmmm, thats got to have a little fat in it, man, thats how i like it. Also in unfortunate news due to copyright infringe. America ferrera was forced to change her name to budweiser ferrera. I know, thats just unfair. Its so sad for her. Okay, moving on. So you remember our old friend ted cruz, president ial candidate, zodiac killer, all around creepy guy, right, right . Okay. Just when we thought we had heard the last of grandpa munster and heidi, his wife, his wife addressed some of their suppor
Larry whoo yes cheers and applause yes thank you very much thank you man what a crowd show time, the thank you audience chanting larry larry thank you welcome to the nightly show. You are correct. I am larry, larry, larry, larry. You know what time it is lets see whats happening wh the unblackening. Oh, sorry. By the way. On saturday, the New York Times published something that really disturbed me. The Presumptive Republican nominee coming under fire amid new allegations of inappropriate behavior with women, dozens of women revealing to the New York Times accounts of unwelcomed romantic advances, unending commentary on the female form and unsettling workplace conduct. Larry really . Trumps commenting on womens physiques . Ever see this guy . Hes shaped like a dishwasher. Hes got a lot of nerve trump was quick to speak out against the paper. Reporter a defensive trump lashing out on twitter, slamming the report as a lame hit piece, dishonest and a witch hunt. laughter larry a witch hunt