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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Totally, bro. This sanitizer puts new york to shame, just like we did in the 2004 a. L. C. S. Dave roberts was too fast for mariano, bro. Sorry, bro. Too fast. Our Hand Sanitizer aint made by no prisoners, is it, markey . No, its made by people who should be in prison but they got off because theyre wicked smart. You want sanitizer youre in luck try our product yankees suck its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight new york state of mind. Plus, stephen welcomes and Peter Sarsgaard featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey how are you . Hllo, friends its nice to have you here. There you go very nice. It just warms your heart to see these nice people here. How delightful. Welcome, welcome, one and all to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Coronavirus is all anyones talking about, and ill talk about it some more tonight in tonights edition of goin viral. To

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

laughter laughter its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight joe countryfor old men. Plus, stephen welcomes chris hayes and david chang featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen come on hey beautiful, beautiful thanks very much. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen there you go uhhuh. Yes, sir, whats going laughter i like it. I like it. cheers and applause thanks, everybody thats good. Thats good. Thanks, everybody. Thanks, one and all. Ladies and gentlemen, my friends, in here, out there, all around the world, welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It is the day after super tuesday also known as old man wednesday. Ill tell you all about it in tonights edition of i have a plan for that. I beat trump i lost them all. They dont call it super tuesday for nothing bing, bing, bong, bong. Fury road to the white house 2020. Stephen it was a big night last

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Understand that very well. Hoojerat anominus. Tim apple. laughter announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, what happened in vegas . Plus stephen welcomes mayor rahm emanuel and musical guest Hailee Steinfeld, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey nice to see you sch cheers and applause thats a good feeling beautiful, beautiful hello audience chanting stephen hello, jon happy monday. Hello, friends. Hello. cheers and applause hey how nice thank you, friends, down here back at you back at you thank you very much cheers and applause thank you please have a seat, everybody thank you so much piano riff welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause piano riff so good to b to be back. Ive missed these people. This weekend, democrats did something that once seemed unimaginable they counted the votes in a caucus. laught

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Oooh, it looks like someone passed out on the Steering Wheel again. Get the poking stick, connie. There you go. Give him a good jab. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight wednesday night fever. Plus, stephen welcomes hank azaria and Suzy Nakamura featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen wooo you cant catch me cheers and applause stephen ladies and gentlemen, friends, neighbors, countried men. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Is eerve you sound good. You people sound good. Is everybody okay tonight . Yeah stephen im glad to hear that, this coronavirus, jon, its making people anxious. People are really nervous. But at a time like this, we all need to laugh and to be together. From a distance of about 20 feet, Something Like that. Quick programming note, starting on monday and this is true out of an abundance of caution, the late show along wi

Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

Plus stephen welcomes keith urban and casey wilson featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause theme song playing stephen hey cheers and applause stephen good to see you there you go audience chanting stephen there you go. A busy night. A busy night here. Spring is in the air. Nice to see you, chris. Welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause another candidate has dropped out of the democratic race. And were getting a clearer picture of americas future and it looks a lot like americas past. laughter ill give you the latest in tonights edition of i have a plan for that. Beat trump. Corn pop was a bad dude aaahhh bing, bing, bong, bong. Fury road to the white house 2020 come on cheers and applause piano riff stephen folks, im afraid i have sad news for fs of competence, because friend of the show, Elizabeth Warren has dropped out of the president ial race. audience

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