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Transcripts For WTMJ Late Night With Seth Meyers 20161014

Event in florida today where he once again said Hillary Clinton should be locked up. Well, donald, if its any consolation, it looks like the election is locked up. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] five women have now come forward to accuse donald trump of inappropriately touching or kissing them as recently as 2005. Said trump, i would never do that and anyone who says i would is me on tape on a bus with [ laughter and applause ] experts are saying that if donald trump sues the New York Times for libel over reports that he behaved inappropriately with women, it could backfire by revealing trumps entire sexual history. Said trump, all of it . [ laughter and applause ] during a rally in florida yesterday donald trump boasted said he will quote, be their worst nightmare. Oh, wow, so hes also running for president of isis . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] oh, really . Both at the same time . President obama has only 100 days left in office. Said obama, i just cant wait to get home

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Transcripts For KSNV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20161019

Musical guest tove lo, and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 524 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon . . . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh thank you hi thank you so much. Welcome. Looking good. Looking hot. Hot crowd tonight right here. [ cheers and applause ] new york city hot crowd. Welcome to the tonight show everybody. This is it. You made it. Youre here. [ cheers and applause ] so happy youre here. Thank you. Going to be a fun one tonight. This is kind of crazy. Today, donald trump made a a surprise trip to mexico for a a meeting with the countrys president enrique pe . A nieto. Or as trump put it, nice to meet you, eric pi . Ata. [ laughter and applause ] eric pi . Ata . Of course, trumps meeting today is his big chance to convince mexico that they should pay for his proposed border wall. I think he might have a tough time. I mean, check out what president pe . A nieto had to say about the wall. There is no way that mexico can pay a wall like that. Jimmy doesnt

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Transcripts For KSNV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20161019

Donald trump won last nights debate. Its the worst debate performance for a republican since Clint Eastwood lost to that chair. [ laughter ] [ growling ] good rebuttal, chair. [ laughter ] donald trump told reporters today that he gives Hillary Clinton a c plus for her performance in last nights debate. A c plus . [ light laughter ] then what was your grade . An h . [ laughter ] donald trump blamed his poor performance on a defective mic that may have been planted at his podium on purpose. Apparently the mic had a defect that caused it to pick up everything he said. [ laughter ] wait, people are hearing this . [ applause ] well thats very bad for me. [ applause ] according to twitter of the five million tweets about last nights president ial debate 62 [ laughter ] hold on. During the debate Donald Trumps campaign was reportedly deleting old tweets that contradicted his onair claims. [ light laughter ] and i think we actually have a clip of that process. [ laughter and applause ] seth f

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Transcripts For KPNX Late Night With Seth Meyers 20161105

You stand next to trump, people think, i cant wait to vote for hillary. When you stand next to michelle, they think, youre blocking our view of michelle. [ laughter and applause ] thats right. [ applause ] Michelle Obama joined Hillary Clinton on the campaign trail today. Said michelle, fine, ill go, but im not wearing the necklace. [ laughter and applause ] russian president Vladimir Putin praised donald trump today and said that trump has done a good job of energizing American Voters tired of the elites. Whats more amazing is he said it at a trump rally. [ laughter and applause ] putin dismissed the notion that russias attempting to influence our election, saying, quote, is america some sort of Banana Republic . No, id say were more like a t. J. Maxx the day after black friday. [ laughter and applause ] id say thats where were at North Carolina yesterday where he laid out his new deal for black america. When asked what black america was, he said, havent decided, but probably off the

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Transcripts For WFLA The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20161108

World series champions, chicago cubs. Daveed diggs. Musical guest, muna. And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 566 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, please. Hey, welcome. Thank you very much. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. You made it. Youre here. This is it. Thank you so much for being here, you guys. Heres what people are talking about. Of course, the election is finally here, and tomorrow, people who cast their vote will receive one of those i voted stickers. Actually, with such a crazy election, theyre going with a a different sticker this year. So, that happened. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] but it seems like everyones trying to get out to vote. In fact, golds gym is giving anyone with an i voted tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. You can go from voting straight to the gym. If you can squeeze in a visit

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