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Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170428

Of americans approve of the job President Trump is doing as he approaches his 100th day in office. While the other 56 said its only been 100 days . [ laughter and applause ] that means ugh ugh [ light laughter ] according to a new report, german chancellor Angela Merkel was recently forced forced to explain to President Trump 11 times how trade works with european countries. She started to lose it around nine. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] customs officers at jfk airport recently arrested two passengers who tried to smuggle ten kilos of cocaine into the country by taping it to their legs. And they might have gotten away with it, if they hadnt worn shorts. [ laughter and applause ] no, man. No man, theyll be expecting pants. We wear shorts, trust me. Thats the way to go. [ light laughter ] yesterday was melania trumps 47th birthday, which means that her facebook wall was full of birthday wishes from friends and family. Lets check it out. Okay, here we go. Mark posted, happy birth

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Transcripts For WRC Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170428

Of americans approve of the job President Trump is doing as he approaches his 100th day in office. While the other 56 said its only been 100 days . [ laughter and applause ] that means ugh ugh [ light laughter ] according to a new report, german chancellor Angela Merkel was recently forced forced to explain to President Trump 11 times how trade works with european countries. She started to lose it around nine. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] customs officers at jfk airport recently arrested two passengers who tried to smuggle ten kilos of cocaine into the country by taping it to their legs. And they might have gotten away with it, if they hadwo [ laughter and applause ] no, man. No man, theyll be expecting pants. We wear shorts, trust me. Thats the way to go. [ light laughter ] yesterday was melania trumps 47th birthday, which means that her facebook wall was full of birthday wishes from friends and family. Lets check it out. Okay, here we go. Mark posted, happy birthday, melania.

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170513

According to a new cnn poll, 44 of americans approve of the job President Trump is doing as he approaches his 100th day in office. While the other 56 said its only been 100 days . [ laughter and applause ] that means ugh ugh [ light laughter ] according to a new report, german chancellor Angela Merkel was recently forced forced to explain to President Trump 11 times how trade works with european countries. She started to lose it around nine. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] customs officers at jfk airport recently arrested two passengers who tried to smuggle ten kilos of cocaine into the country by taping it to their legs. And they might have gotten away with it, if they hadnt worn shorts. [ laughter and applause ] no, man. No man, theyll be expecting pants. We wear shorts, trust me. Thats the way to go. [ light laughter ] yesterday was melania trumps 47th birthday, which means that her facebook wall was full of birthday wishes from friends and family. Lets check it out. Okay, here

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Transcripts For WRC Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170513

Of americans approve of the job President Trump is doing as he approaches his 100th day in office. While the other 56 said its only been 100 days . [ laughter and applause ] that means ugh ugh [ light laughter ] according to a new report, german chancellor Angela Merkel was recently forced forced to explain to President Trump 11 times how trade works with european countries. She started to lose it around nine. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] customs officers at jfk airport recently arrested two passengers who tried to smuggle ten kilos of cocaine into the country by taping it to their legs. And they might have gotten away with it, if they hadnt worn [ laughter and applause ] no, man. No man, theyll be expecting pants. We wear shorts, trust me. Thats the way to go. [ light laughter ] yesterday was melania trumps 47th birthday, which means that her facebook wall was full of birthday wishes from friends and family. Lets check it out. Okay, here we go. Mark posted, happy birthday, mel

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170610

Thank you, thank you. Welcome back to those of i do who joined us in primetime for our game night special earlier tonight. Game four of the nba finals between the warriors and the cavaliers from cleveland, ohio. Or maybe they should call it leaveland, ohio. Theres a rumor that lebron james is considering a move to los angeles to become a laker or a clipper the year after next. Which would be exciting for us. But another bummer for cleveland. Although i have thinking about this today, i have an idea to make it fair. I propose, and im not authorized to make this deal myself, but i know people. So heres how this will go. We get lebron. And in exchange, cleveland gets disneyland. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the whole thing. Haunted mansion, space mountain, mickey and minnie, all seven of the drawer offed, you get it all, we get lebron for three years. Is that a deal . I think that would be equitable. [ cheers and applause ] i think lebron should go to every team in the league to h

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