[laughter]. i kid the popping fresh king. i m going to miss him. how much? well, this much. and the press was so quiet on cnn you could hear his stomach growling. i can t control myself. just like bri stelter. anyone thinks boobs are more common in women than men have never seen brian jogging. cut brian slack. he s got a lot on his plate right now. what the hell am i going to do now? first chris cuomo. then jeffrey to be in. now stelter. i m running out of material. if cnn fires don lemon i might have to work for a living. what is stelter going to do next? he could work here. our on camera chemistry was undeniable. i want to play a game where i stay in my apartment and i don t pick up the phone and see if anybody will check on me. and no one pays the rent. the landlord game after 7 years to one victim. that really victim. you guys saw that. i wasn t just dreepg that. wow. moving on to the monologue. as we watch the news chase every trump related story like joy behar
[bleep] when he accused border patrol agents out of whipping illegal immigrants. those were the actual words. total [bleep]. the head of the border patrol announcing the results of their absurd months long investigation into an incident that both the dems and the media use to demonize innocent agents. after an extensive review, the u.s. attorney issued their decision not to prosecute the case. opr found no evidence border patrol agents involved in this incident struck any person with their rings intentionally or otherwise. greg: thank you for the heads up, chris. but we could have told you that on day one. those claims were already debunked by everyone including the guy who took the damn pictures. what a waste of taxpayer money, and all to cover their asses. i got two words for you, instant replay. they use it in sports to clear up a questionable call and this one isn t are wasn t even questionable. even the migrants say don t you dopes know how horses work? but a second
[bleep] when he accused border patrol agents out of whipping illegal immigrants. those were the actual words. total [bleep]. the head of the border patrol announcing the results of their absurd months long investigation into an incident that both the dems and the media use to demonize innocent agents. after an extensive review, the u.s. attorney issued their decision not to prosecute the case. opr found no evidence border patrol agents involved in this incident struck any person with their rings intentionally or otherwise. greg: thank you for the heads up, chris. but we could have told you that on day one. those claims were already debunked by everyone including the guy who took the damn pictures. what a waste of taxpayer money, and all to cover their asses. i got two words for you, instant replay. they use it in sports to clear up a questionable call and this one isn t are wasn t even questionable. even the migrants say don t you dopes know how horses work? but a second
finger, like my childhood friend we had to call mittens. yeah. in case you scoff at the idea that the media works from the same script, the same playbook, same oxygen deprived brain, you need to see thursday s l.a. times piece on how late-night selected comedians covered the hearings. the same unison response. or should i say unisom. since they were dull enough to put a method into a coma. we are coming to just hours after the january 6, and he shocked with a hearing i can only be described as cuckoo. ah-oog-ah. i was shocked that trump threw any of his food away. this guy has taken more selfies with food then he has with some of his kids. who the hell elect him out of his car seat. he probably finished his big mac first. who had catch up at lunch? greg: those shows should come with a warning, do not operate heavy machinery afterward. or expect amusement while viewing. they aren t even trying to think outside the box. maybe because it s malakoff and where, and t
d-bags? i mean stupid lying d-bags. can you believe, like, joe rogan? he s eating dewormers. he says he s taking several medications including a drug meant for deworming livestock. in case you missed it, rogan said the word ivermectin, the deworming medicine made to kill parasites and deworm animals. this medication causes some people in this crazed environment we re in to want to try it. that s the upside-down world we re in with figures like joe rogan. greg: [bleep]. sorry! horse pills? more like horse [bleep]! of course, ivermectin s been approved for human use for decades. these are the people who get everything wrong. they could diagnose what rogan nuts his mouth and miss everything that comes out of chris cuomo s. it s ironic delta would be critical of anyone about covid given he s a walking risk factor for every medical condition on earth. he s a petri dish wearing extra large sweat pants. he needs to mask up to limit his exposure to cinnabon. whose advice wo