Wait a second, all my results are child porn . I dont want this, undo, undo, i didnt ask for this. Oh no. Now i have to arrest myself and honestly i get where google is coming from, man. Like i tried using yahoo search the other day and even yahoo was like i dont know, hold on, let me google t that is a tough one. But to be fair, this is what monopolies do. They get rid of all their other petition competition and then say theyre the best which is technically true but also it is partly because of their action strks like if i guy named greg set up the dating app where the only option was greg. How about greg. No, i want to see some one else, swipe left. Okay k i interest you in greg. No. What about greg . Okay, i guess i will take greg . Fine choice m lady. Staying in the world of tech, last night alexandria ocasiocortez, new york congresswoman and supreme villain of your uncles facebook feed decided to pick up her controller to own the noobs and get out the gamer vote. Alexandria ocasio
President ial election is just one week away, one week, people and passions are running high. In florida martian went on a backhoe blitz stealing a bull dozer and adding his own curb appeal to homes of biden supporters. James blight drove around haines city digging out biden harris signs from front yards. According to authorities hed been drinking whiskey all day and stole the bull dozer from a nearby arbys construction site. Trevor this is truly such an amazing florida story. The only question now is whether this guy is going to end up in jail or the Governors Mansion but it also goes to show how everybody is too obsessed with politics right now. I mean, this dude stole a bull dozer, and his first astronaut was to drive over Campaign Signs . He could have done so much more he could have moved peoples cars to another parking spot. Or stolen an atm, or knocked over a fire hydrant to watch the water spray out. Guys, life is so much bigger than just politics. Also, did this guy think that
No wait. [dramatic music] maybe it was a mistake. Cnn just posted it by accident. Everythings fine, it was chris cuomo and his fat fingers, thats all. Everythings good. Everythings fine. Were good everythings good [breathing loudly] wait. Maybe this is a dream and im still naked. Oh, god roe v. Wade ugh. Everythings fine, everythings good. Gotta stay hydrated when everythings normal. [phone notifications dinging] [whimpers] [breathing loudly] [bleep] [bleep] [rock music] sorry, miss brittany. Rbg. [phone notification dings] [bleep] [applause] have you thought, how many women is enough . Nine. Oh. [laughter and applause] oh. [cheers and applause] were not there yet. [laughs] well, there have been nine men there for a long, long time, right . So why not nine women . Woo yeah. [sighs] its been 41 days since Justice Ginsburg died. And in that time, Amy Coney Barrett has been confirmed to the Supreme Court. And ive thrown and cracked 24 cell phone screens. Not all of them mine. Hey, babe .
With trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with google. The Search Engine that constantly is trying to finish your no no no, your sentences. Its dominance has raised concerns in the Justice Department for years. And now theyre finally doing something about it. Now to the blockbuster antitrust lawsuit against google tonight. The Justice Department accusing the tech giant of being a monopoly gatekeeper for the internet. They claim the tech giant has been engaging in anticompetitive tactics, paying phone manufacturers and Tech Companies billions to allow google to be their default Search Engine. Prosecutors alleging that ties were so deep a senior Apple Official wrote our vision is that we work as if we are one company. Today google responded saying the lawsuit is deeply flawed and would do nothing to help consumers. Google say this would only prop up lower quality Search Engines. Trevor yo google versus the u. S. Government, this is going to be huge, and honestly i dont know who is go
Trevor lets kick things off with early voting. Its for maverick voters whove already decided who they want as president , which si is insane theres still two weeks, people. What if trump becomes president ial . I still think he has a shot. As you know, election day is just two weeks from today, but with early voting in most to have the country, election day is really the last possible day to vote. Leaked is hallow queen ween and early voting is cvs. You can get the candy at anytime without trick or treating might anybody. The point is early voting is already underway and so far more popular than q anon at your aunts house. We are just two weeks away from the election, and nearly 30 million americans have already voted. More than five times in number, at this point, four years ago. Long lines and long waits seen in the key battleground state of florida. Some of those lines started at dawn. 94yearold Mildred Madison born when coolidge was president had her son drive her more than 600 600