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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20131112

laughter i cant figure it out. Lets begin tonight with an eye on the media in our new segment meh culpa. One of the most hallowed names in all of journalism is 60 minutes, a show that has for week after week for over 45 minutes brought us 58 minutes of hardhitting groundbreaking investigation into everything from corporate greed and corrupt governance, and two minutes of musings. Bought 1,000 honey due melons and only three of them were ripe over the years. laughter jon i think hed want to be remembered as somebody who was a great writer cheers and applause its almost as if the audience was trained behaviorably to react to something that we laughter exwaish the man clearly could not pick out good produce. My point is this last month, it looked like 60 minutes had done it again, scoring an exclusive interview with an eyewitness to the terrible events in benghazi. One guy saw me. He just shouted. I couldnt believe that hed seen me because it was so dark. He started walking towards me, ju

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20131112

The world. Lets begin tonight. Lets begin tonight laughter i cant figure it out. Lets begin tonight with an eye on the media in our new segment meh culpa. One of the most hallowed names in all of journalism is 60 minutes, a show that has for week after week for over 45 minutes brought us 58 minutes of hardhitting groundbreaking investigation into everything from corporate greed and corrupt governance, and two minutes of musings. Bought 1,000 honey due melons and only three of them were ripe over the years. laughter jon i think hed want to be remembered as somebody who was a great writer cheers and applause its almost as if the audience was trained behaviorably to react to something that we laughter exwaish the man clearly could not pick out good produce. My point is this last month, it looked like 60 minutes had done it again, scoring an exclusive interview with an eyewitness to the terrible events in benghazi. One guy saw me. He just shouted. I couldnt believe that hed seen me because

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20131112

The prince now attempting to remove one of the princess arms. As is, of course, the tradition. The princess screaming with pain. Everyone watching with anticipation. And the arm is off things are back to normal here in canada. The time honored traditions are once again yes, the prince is sticking the princess arm up his ass. There it goes. [cheers and applause] hes really making a good go of it. What a wonderful day for canada, and therefore, of course, the world. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause glk welcome to the daily show. Im name is jon stewart. We have a get one for you tonight. Author, honorary red sox, Doris Kearns Goodwin will be joining us. Lets begin tonight laughter i am the worst segue person in the world. Lets begin tonight. Lets begin tonight laughter i cant figure it out. Lets begin tonight with an eye on the media in our new segment meh culpa. On

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131113

And . He went down. Stephen folks, what more is there to say than benghazi, benghazi, benghazi cheers and applause and im not the only one Mainstream Media outrage over the benghazi terror attacks but its certainly not new for you out there, our viewers, because the wrenching report on 60 minutes last night was filled with information fox uncovered months ago. I think its great Mainstream Media is finally catching up. Cbs did this story on benghazi and i see criticism from the left where they go you guys are covering a phony scandal. 60 minutes doesnt cover phony scandals. Stephen yes, another network covered it. Thats how you foe fox news reporting is accurate. laughter its just like their motto we report, but you should really check with someone else. laughter and applause also, cbs should have checked with someone else because morgan jones story turned out to be totally fake. Including his name, which is not morgan jones but dylan davies, which actually sounds even more fake. laught

Transcripts For KGO ABC7 News 400PM 20140617

And this is a the fire started around 2 00 this afternoon. It took about 300 feet of crews to get down there. When they got down there, its full of poison oak. It took two drops to suck water out of merit lake. Four alarm fire, with 90 firefighters total. Lets take a look from sky 7 hd. You can see winds. That is what probably saved this thing from going as far as it did. Were only 3 to 5 Miles Per Hour. This is off of mark and lemur just south of highway 13. Turning live now to lisa baker with the oakland fire department. Youre calling these very suspicious . We have three fires burning in various steep terrain, then, a half hour ago, a fire at the top of the canyon approximately ten by ten. So two main fires 12 acres, other about three and a half. If they started what does that say to you . It says that our fire investigator is on the scene. Were calling them suspicious at this time. Were calling our citizens if they see sus spishus activity to call 911. At this time, do you have Law

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