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When it comes to fire departments, I have street cred. I am junior fire chief emeritus for Elmhurst Elementary School. My yearlong reign, won by virtue of writing an essay on how to survive house fires, stretched from 1973 to 1974. For a solid week, a fire engine, siren blaring, picked me up at home and delivered me to school each day. Before that, I was a victim, having stuck my leg down a drainpipe at a demolished laundromat after wandering from the mobile home where I spent formative years. It took the better part of an afternoon, and a jackhammer, to extricate me. Firefighters were there the whole time – while I bawled, they gave me candy and let me wear one of their hats, but it was way too big.