This over to a narcissist who will bankrupt us. I definitely dont want my mommy now. Be a big boy, jordan trevor stay strong, jordan. Lets go to desi lydic, everybody, on the street cheers and applause desi, do you share jordans concern over trump . Trevor, why would i worry donald trump is going to kill us in the future when im gonna die today . Trevor what are you talking about . Im in the middle of an angry political protest in an open carry state. You dont know, trevor, i just saw grandma open a cap of great lakes with an ar15. Youre not in this trevor i feel for you, desi. Minhaj is joining us on the Convention Floor hows it going . Im sorry, trevor, my name is chad smith. I dont know who this hasan is, but he sounds a little too muslim to be safe at a trump convention. Ha ha you know what i mean, trevor . I love nascar. Trevor hasan, seriously . You put on white face . You mean my naturally fair and lovely complex that i got from my reallife parents bryce and i wanna say leslie .
Ow, my balls, my balls, my balls 3000 xl . King schlong . Was it oohaahaah down with the thickness . Looky here, mama made a meatloaf . Wang finangler supreme . Wiener wiener bobiener . Could it have been people magazines boner of the year 2007 . Reeses penis . Was it jack jack, im flying . Mad max fury. Boner . Was it splat splat splat splat . Jacktacular shaft reactor . Was it master disasterbater . You know what it couldve been . Big man penishaver. Yes yes. Yeah . Incredible. It probably was that. [ cheers and applause ] from cleveland, the top city in ohio geographically, the 2016 Republican National convention. So mission accomplished. Night one, an unbelievably classy, tremendous and good and huge convention. cheers and applause trevor thank you so much, cleveland thank you so much, cleveland folks. Folks, were gonna win. applause were gonna do so much winning, folks. I mean, wow, folks, were gonna win. So much show tonight, folks bigley. I know some of you are saying i plagiari
I know some of you are saying i plagiarized that entrance, but i want you to know that entrance represented my personal feelings and experiences of being in cleveland. Welcome to night one of the daily shows Republican National convention, people im trevor noah, your host we made it in cleveland and hopefully well make it out alive. We thought this convention would be chaos and havent been disappointed. Where do we start . In the first few hours, hundreds of Convention Delegates tried to boycott. Wrong try better. The police came out and said they dont feel safe. Maybe because this is going on. I never understand the camouflage. If youre trying to blend, in maybe start by losing the enormous assault rifles, people applause last night the republicans put on a threehour prime time show called foreigners are coming to kill you. Other than that, everything is great in cleveland and im not the only one who feels this way because im joined by the best bleep news team in town covering the con
For more now we return to nbcs miguel almaguer. This horrific crime lasted more than three hours from the time the first gunshot was fired to the last. The initial 911 call came in just after 2 00 a. M. Police saying a man opened fire inside the pulse nightclub where more than 300 people were inside. A uniformed offduty Police Officer was working security at the club. He went inside, engaged that suspect in a gun battle. The suspect shot back. The officer withdrew, waited for backup, and with a team of officers went inside that nightclub and again opened fire on that suspect. The officers retreated when the suspect went into a back bathroom. I want to give you a diagram of what this relatively small club looks like. The gunman was inside one bathroom with four to five other hostages, inside an add jointing bathroom there were up to 15 other hostages. Investigators say they waited for some two 1 2 hours. As they continued to talk to the suspect who called 911. They then decided they had
Comedian, jeff dye, and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove ah yeah. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, guys. Thank you. Come on thats what im talking about [ cheers and applause ] now its a good show tonight. Oh, yeah. Welcome, everybody, welcome to the tonight show this is it. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, everybody. Well, heres what everyone is talking about. Of course its the olympics. We are now only two days from the start of the rio summer olympic games. [ cheers and applause ] which means in just two days people will go from knowing nothing about the olympics to saying, how the hell did he mess up a round off backhand spring . [ light laughter ] [ applause ] how do you know . I actually read that a north korean gymnast may be the first female gymnast ever to attempt an incredibly difficult move that involves a triple twisting vault. When asked if shes done it before she said, how do you think i escaped from north korea . [ lau