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Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20150122

Dont just sit there like john boehner. Stand up and clap. This is the nightly show. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause larry thank you very much. Please, please, thank you. Oh no, no. Thank you. Welcome okay. No i really appreciate it. Welcome. Welcome to the nightly show. I am your host larry wilmore. cheers and applause thank you. I appreciate it. Very nice. Now, that really means that really means a lot to me but i gotta quiet down to business here because last night our country gathered together to hear from one of the most important black voices in american history. Thanks for watching, everyone. applause laughter yeah i thought our show last night was baller are you just going to leave me hanging . Okay. So what else happened . Oh, yeah, the leadin to our show was the president s state of the union speech. But what i want to focus on tonight is the state of obama, okay. Now, before we get in too deep on this, i need to be clear about something. I voted for

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Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20150131

Okay, okay, okay. Here you go. Heres my super bowl prediction. Going out on a limb, going out on a limb. Heres my prediction eye will be drunk by the coin toss. cheers just saying. Wake me up for katy perry thats all im saying. laughter all right, now this has been a rough year for the nfl with all their offthefield scandal, so its got to be a relief for fans out there to finally have the scandal on the field. The socalled deflategate scandal. The nfl is investigating allegations that 11 of the 12 footballs that the patriots used in their a. F. C. Championship win over the Indianapolis Colts were underinflated. That would be an advantage since underfrom thed footballs are easieser to grip and catch. Larry okay, all right now i know you guys are expecting me to do a gratuitous ball joke here, and as tempting as it is, you know, frankly, thats all ive been hearing for the past week. I really dont want to traffic in that. So thats why i asked these guys to do it. You have 30 on the ball c

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Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20150127

Green lit mortdecai . Some people are angry that american sniper doesnt accurately criticize the iraq war. Here, ill do it for you its bad. Should war movies be accurate . I hope not, because those apes freak me the bleep out. Its 27 degrees outside, but were keeping it 100 in here. This is the nightly show. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central larry i cant believe it cant be true thank you very much calm down appreciate it thats right. Im your host larry wilmore. Welcome to the the nightly show. Before we start, theres a storm thats hit new york city. So god bless you guys for coming in. Unbelievable. cheers and applause i appreciate it. I dont know how youre going to get home. Look outside our studio right now. I saw this outside on the sudden river ten minutes ago. Not making this up. Thats my ride home. My ubear. Now, theres not only a storm here in new york city. This was another storm gathering at the box office this weekend. American sniper is really hittin

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20150128

Beyond that we have exciting stuff to get to. A lot of republicans will who will never be president met this weekend. And its the subject of tonights democalypse 2016 correspondent audition. 2016 hopefuls are gathering for the iowa Freedom Summit jon the freeh dom summit. A taste of freedom. All downhill from the summit freedomwise. Whoses running this show . Congressman steve kings Freedom Summit. Jon steve king, wait scary stephen king . No, no no no. Not the lovable author the scary stephen king. Congressman king says many undocumented children the vast majority, in fact are drugged mules. Maybe they are hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert. Jon yes you know let me that statement is naive and and ignorant. That statement is like ignorance, like if you just take all of the stupid and just cook it down just cook it, cook it down and then scrape, just the pure ignorance like crystal duh. Its like crystal duh. Now no one is going to show up to the cant hope camp retreat this

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Transcripts For FBC Lou Dobbs Tonight 20150121

Gasoline prices that have fueled optimism but which are unrelated to any white house policy. Mr. Obama is also tonight going big on tax hikes. Proposing more than 300 billion dollars in new taxes. Hes still pushing taxpayerpaid Community College for all and looking for fast track trade promotion and negotiating authority from congress. And the president has already threatened to veto seven prospective bills in the Republicanled Congress. The Republican Leadership dismissed tonights speech as another campaign event, a speech loaded with proposals they declare to be nonstarters. I think any president in this situation has a choice he can sort of act like hes still running for office or he can focus on the things that we have a chance to reach an agreement on. Obviously, thats what i hope well hear tonight is a speech that brings us together and doesnt push us apart. Lou also here tonight u. S. Diplomats in a motorcade on their way to the u. S. Embassy were shot at in yemen, despite the t

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