You. And youre in good company. Does the president still have complete confidence in fbi director comey . Theres no reason to believe he doesnt. General flynn does enjoy the full confidence of the president. Seth there you go, rex. [ light laughter ] trump has full confidence in you. Youre gonna be fine. [ light laughter ] during his visit to puerto rico yesterday, President Trump asked a service man how he feels to be representing the coast guard before the representative corrected trump and said he was a member of the air force. Even more embarrassing, trump tried to order an Ice Cream Sandwich from this guy. [ laughter ] theyre out of ice cream. [ light laughter ] former First Lady Michelle Obama yesterday criticized the lack of diversity in congress. Said congress, not true we have white men from 50 different states [ laughter ] according to reports, facebook will testify before congress in connection with the russia investigation. Though i think i already know what theyre going to say. [ laughter ] according to propublica, ivanka and donald trump jr. Were on the verge of being indicted for felony fraud in 2012. But im too pretty to go to jail, said the one who isnt. [ laughter ] the nobel prize in chemistry was awarded today to three scientists who have developed a new way to capture 3d images of biological molecules. Also awarded, the nobel prize for lack of chemistry. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i think they might get it next year too. Theyre going to be a dynasty. [ light laughter ] according to a recent report, the price of Legal Marijuana has dropped by almost 19 this year. Said marijuana users, 19 of what . [ laughter ] [ applause ] a man in tennessee was arrested for burglary while dressed like a pirate. Police located the suspect by following his footprints. [ light laughter ] thats exactly what we deserved and no more. [ light laughter ] for that joke about a peg leg. [ light laughter ] the Louvre Museum in france has decided to remove an Outdoor Sculpture [ light laughter ] depicting two buildings having sex [ light laughter ] after it was deemed to be offensive. And nobody was more scarred by the exhibit than the buildings son. [ laughter ] [ french accent ] mom, dad, i have a piece of art at the louvre. Oh, im so excited to come. Is it a painting . No, it is two buildings [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] a city in georgia has voted to change its name to amazon if the Company Selects it as the location for its next headquarters. And it would certainly be a major improvement. [ laughter ] and finally, nicolas cages picture will be featured on special packaging for a popular japanese snack to promote his latest movie. Incidentally, japanese snack is his latest movie. [ laughter ] give me back my snacks [ cheers and applause ] weve got a great show for you tonight from nbcs great news and mean girls the musical its really happening. Tina fey is here, everybody. How about that . [ cheers and applause ] one of our favorites. We have a couple more friends of our show are back. Theyre here to chat about the baseball postseason. Mlb Network Analysts kevin millar and sean casey, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] and standup comedy from a very funny man. Matt goldich is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so, youre here on a good night. Before we get to all that, President Trump is coming off a disastrous visit to puerto rico yesterday, as he and Congress Deal with the renewed debate over gun laws. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth even before he arrived yesterday, trump seemed obsessed with one thing getting high marks for his responses to the hurricanes in texas, florida, and puerto rico. I think its now acknowledged what a great job weve done and people are looking at that. And in texas and in florida we get an aplus. And ill tell you what, i think weve done just as good in puerto rico. Seth hes so desperate for an aplus. I wouldnt be surprised if trump has someone write out fake report cards just so he can stick them on the white house fridge. [ laughter ] his dream his dream is for air force one to have this bumper sticker. [ laughter and applause ] but if trump really wants an aplus for puerto rico, the very least he can do is stop blaming the victims of the hurricane for their own situation, as he did repeatedly over the weekend when he attacked the mayor of san juan. And yet, right after he gave himself an aplus, trump said this about the recovery effort in puerto rico. Now the roads are cleared. Communication starting to come back. We need their truck drivers. Their drivers have to start driving trucks. We have to do that. So at a local level, they have to give us more help. Seth no thats not how this works. Only donald trump could fly into a disaster zone and tell the victims to help him. [ light laughter ] how are you so bad at this . Youre like a surgeon who asks his patient, before we get started, can you take a look at this mole on my back . [ light laughter ] its freaking me out. Of course, this is all before trump arrived in puerto rico. Im sure once he got there and witnessed the devastation firsthand he changed his tune. Here he is meeting puerto rican officials yesterday and introducing his budget director, mick mulvaney. Mick mulvaney is here right there. And mick is a judge of a thing called budget. Now i hate to tell you, puerto rico, but youve thrown our budget a little out of whack. [ audience groans ] seth of course, a little out of whack is what trumps report card would actually say. [ laughter ] trump somehow finds a way to screw up situations where all you have to do as a president , or even as a human being, is express compassion, show some grace and offer aid. For example, trump met yesterday with hurricane victims and surveyed the damage to their home. And these are the sage words our president parted to them before he left. We have a good house, thank god. And in the meantime, here you are, right . Exactly, exactly. Were going to help you out. Thank you. Have a good time. Seth have a good time . [ laughter ] theyre hurricane victims and you sound like youre hosting a barbecue. [ laughter ] have a good time. Try the potato salad. Everyone says its an aplus. [ laughter ] and by the way, this isnt even the first time he said that exact thing to hurricane victims. Remember texas . Have a good time, everybody. Im going to be doing a little help over here. Hey, can you handle this . Its a lot of yes, sir. Have a good time. [ light laughter ] seth have a good time with what . The bucket you put in his lap . [ light laughter ] youre going to love this bucket. You can sit on it, store things in it, put it on your head. Its a lot of fun. Have a good time. [ light laughter ] but if anyone seemed to be having a good time yesterday, it was trump himself. Just watch him greet a crowd of hurricane victims in desperate need of supplies. After handing out a few items, he literally started throwing paper towels into the crowd via jump shot. Seth they were hit with a category five hurricane and youre handing out paper towels . [ light laughter ] how absorbent do you think they are . [ laughter ] these are one million ply. [ light laughter ] he looks like a drunk grandfather playing popashot at dave busters. Grandpa, we have to go. Im close to getting enough tickets for a giant pencil [ light laughter ] trump is clearly much more comfortable tossing paper towels into a crowd than he is dealing with a crisis, because he has no idea what to do. He says things like have a good time. Because his life would be so much easier if everyone would just have a good time. Hes like a stressed out mom trying to keep a thanksgiving dinner from going off the rails. Cant everybody just have a good time . [ light laughter ] when he doesnt tell people to have a good time, he just sort of rambles. Like yesterday when he called on a representative from the air force to give an update on the runways in puerto rico, which somehow led to him discussing new fighter jets that he apparently thinks are invisible. Were ordering hundreds of millions of dollars worth of new airplanes for the air force. , especially the f35. Do you like the f35 . I said how does it do it in fights and how do they do in fights with the f35 . Said, we do very well. You cant see it. You literally you cant see it. So its hard to fight a plane that you cant see, right . Seth because thats what people without Drinking Water want to hear. You just spent a ton of money on invisible planes. [ light laughter ] sir, you look thirsty. Would you like to see an invisible plane . [ light laughter ] trust me, its up there. And its a beauty. Oh, it landed on my hand. [ laughter ] thats a delicious invisible plane. So whats going on in puerto rico . The governments botched response to the crisis in puerto rico raised the basic question, can you count on your government for help when you need it . Obviously if youre wealthy you can. As we speak, trump and republicans in congress are working on a plan to spend 2 trillion on tax cuts for the richest americans. But what about the victims of Hurricane Maria . Or the victims of the horrific shooting in las vegas . We shouldnt have to plead with our government to do something after a tragedy, and yet here we are. If fact, the only gun bills the republicans have taken up recently would actually loosen gun laws. Republican leaders in congress were pushing bills to ease rules on gun silencers and concealed carry permits across state lines. This bill that is go making its way through the house which calls for loosening gun restrictions and also, making it easier to purchase silencers for guns. Seth so what could possibly be the explanation for a bill like this . Supporters argue that silencers, also known as suppressors, are actually necessary to reduce hearing loss for gun owners. These things reduce the noise of a gunshot. They bring the noise down to safer levels from a hearing conservation perspective. Gun control advocates say the bill is about militarizing weapons, not about hearing. Its a complete misunderstanding of the noise levels that unsuppressed firearms have. The risk that both recreational shooters and hunters have to things like tinnitus, which is ringing in your ears, and noiseinduced hearing loss as a result to exposure to loud noises. Seth oh, all this time i thought congress and the gun lobby were ignoring our pleas for reasonable gun safety regulations. But it turns out they just cant hear us. So, in that case we need reasonable gun safety regulations. [ cheers and applause ] one of the cosponsors of the bill, South Carolina congressman jeff duncan, said he hoped the house would vote on the bill soon and defended it by saying it was polite to use a silencer. This bill isnt on the schedule that i know of. It has passed out of full committee and leadership has talked about bringing it up this fall. I hope by this week or next week, but well see. Actually in europe its considered to be neighborly to shoot a suppressed weapon, to dampen that sound. Seth oh, suddenly republicans care about what europe does . Because in europe, its also considered neighborly to give Everyone Health care, make college free, and take naps in the middle of the day for no reason at all. [ cheers and applause ] also europe has, like, five guns total, and three of them are held by guys who literally arent allowed to move. [ light laughter ] now of course anytime the conversation turns to gun control, there are those who claim gun control wouldnt stop tragedies like this from happening. An argument we heard most recently on the fox business network. If that psychopath had god forbid, driven a truck into that crowd and killed a hundred people, would we be talking about truck control . Seth hmm. Would we be talking about truck control . Thats a good question. Heres a good answer. No. I mean, forget for a minute that theres more truck control than gun control and that you need a license to drive one. Theres always this slippery slope argument of if theres gun control, where does it stop. Guns. It will stop with guns. One reasonable thing doesnt always lead to something crazy. You can have gay marriage without people marrying their pets. Health care for all . Whats next . Mammograms for sandwiches . [ light laughter ] mammiches . [ light laughter ] gun violence is an epidemic and we need our government to do something about it. And yet, when you ask republicans in congress what they plan to do, their answer is basically have a good time. [ laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with tina fey. [ cheers and applause ] announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. sigh dad molly trash whoo mom hey, molly . Its time to go bell ringing class, lets turn to page 136, recessive traits skip generations. Who would like to read . molly i reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection. Its running much faster now. See . Its amazing, molly. Thank you. thank you. Hey, leggo my eggo. I dont see your name on it. Really . Ba bam know the rules. Keep your eggo. Leggo my eggo. Okay. Tmobiles unlimited now includes netflix on us. Thats right. Netflix on us. Get 4 unlimited lines for just 40 bucks each. Taxes and fees included. And now netflix included. So go ahead. Binge on us. Another reason why tmobile is americas best unlimited network. When i walked through for a cigarette, thats when i knew i had to quit. For real this time. Thats why im using nicorette. Only nicorette gum has patented dualcoated technology for great taste, plus intense craving relief. Every great why needs a great how. Fortyeight hours of protection. I dont have to reapply this, not once. Its really soft and almost velvety as you put it on. Thats like really soft. Try dove advanced care for softer, smoother underarms. Oh, you yeah ht butch. butch growls at man hes looking at me right now, isnt he . Yup. butch barks at man butch is like an old soul that just hates my guts. laughs vo you can never have too many faithful companions. Introducing the allnew crosstrek. Love is out there. Find it in a subaru crosstrek. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. And please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also sitting in with us tonight, hes a pioneering legend in the world of metal drumming. Playing with some of the top bands in the genre, such as testament, and dethklok. You can check him out on the new album from Brendon Smalls galaktikon, entitled, ii become the storm. Gene hoglan is here, everybody. Thank you so much for being here gene. [ cheers and applause ] good to be here man, appreciate it. Seth our first guest tonight is a nine time emmy winner. You know her from her work on saturday night live and 30 rock. And such films as mean girls, baby mama, and sisters. She executive produces and guest stars in the comedy series, great news which airs thursday nights at 9 30 here on nbc. Lets take a look. My name is diana st. Tropez. I am the only female fortune 500 ceo from a non shapewear related company. I sleep two hours a night. Im never, not doing kegels. [ light laughter ] and my forte is rebranding struggling companies. And now, i diana st. Tropez, am here to bring the breakdown into the 21st century. Seth please welcome back to the show, our very good friend, tina fey, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth hi hello. Seth its so wonderful to see you. Its nice to see you seth it was wonderful to see you in great news. Thank you. Seth youre going to be the first three episodes. Yes, im in the first three episodes. Its a show that Robert Carlock and i produce, its a really funny show. I hope you check it out. And, were super lucky. cause they give us a time slot behind will and grace. Seth yes which is great. Seth is a big yeah. Seth like, when you have a tv show thats where you want to be. Thats whats called a lead in. Seth yes. [ light laughter ] and so i think the network, you know, asked if i would do a few episodes. And i think their hope is just that people will see me with their glasses off and think its Megan Mullally and just leave it on. [ light laughter ] seth oh, right. Yeah. Seth thats a really good way of going about it. Start every episode with like, honey, leave it on [ laughter ] use that. Seth very nice in that clip. Your our old friend horatio sanz is in it. Yes seth and then comedy legend Andrea Martin. Yeah. Seth who was on this show, and is just a dynamo. Yeah, Andrea Martin is someone that ive always wanted to just be friends with let alone, you know, get to work with. And on this show yeah, if you havent seen it its got Andrea Martin, its got horatio sanz, its got john michael higgins, whos one of the seth fantastic. Funniest guys in the world. Briga heelan, nicole richie, theyre all adorable and hilarious. And yeah, and andrea, of all of us, has the most energy. Seth yeah. Right . Andreas, you know, the oldest member of the cast of 31. [ light laughter ] but she comes in, shes like nothing but energy. I was, like, i hadnt done a show in a while, and so, you know, they pick you up at like 5 00 in the morning. Youre like, oh okay, whatever. Andrea rides her bike to the lot. In the dark. Shes like oh, i got here, i just got up, and rode my bike. And i was like, its a little are you scared . Shes like, no the only scary part is when i go past the entrance of the freeway in the dark. I was like, you might be a muppet. [ laughter ] like you you travel from place to place like fozzie bear. But, god bless her. Seth shes an inspiration. She is an inspiration. Seth this, i have to say, im not alone in being excited for this. Mean girls the musical. Yes, sir. Seth and you just went [ cheers and applause ] and you started ticket sales. Yes. Mean girls the musical is finally after years of me just yammering about it, were so close to people actually seeing it with their eyeballs. October 3rd was yesterday, which some people kindly refer to as mean girls day. Seth yes. Because of a joke in the movie. And so, it was the day that tickets for the new york stuff went on sale. You can buy them online. Meangirlsonbroadway. Com. And so we went and we got a big food truck and we gave out cheese fries. Seth and there you are, you showed up. And i seth so you actually showed up. I showed up. We had a big line of people. It was really exciting. Fans came out to to get free cheese fries. I mean, they were either fans of the show or cheese fries. Seth or cheese fries. Yeah. [ laughter ] its hard to know. And the greek part of me was super comfortable in the food truck. Seth oh, great. I was like, okay. We need more fries leave them longer, theyre not crispy seth and this just must be, because, like you mentioned, youve been working on this for a long time. Yeah it takes seth you have a cast, a very talented group of young people. We have such an incredibly talented cast of young people. I cant wait for people to see them. You can another way to buy tickets is you can buy tickets to see the out of town run of it, in washington d. C. At the national theater. Those tickets are on sale at like, thenational. Org . You know what, later on well put a thing here seth yeah, well put a thing there. And it will be correct. [ light laughter ] seth yeah, and if youre wrong about it, the lower third will be passive aggressive about how you didnt know what it was. Okay, good. Seth also it seems like the group of people that are working on this show are pretty impressive people. Because they actually started a go fund me page as well. Oh yeah, the thing well we so we were out yesterday being clowns, giving away cheese fries. And then the cast the cast of the movie, actually. Seth oh, wow. On october 3rd, because theyre probably tired of people tweeting at at them about october 3rd, they, like Jonathan Bennett and Lacey Chabert and Daniel Franzese in the movie. They started yesterday, for october 3rd, they started a go fund me page in support of people who were victims of violence in las vegas. So we, the cast of the broadway show are supporting that too. I think its that one i think is gofundme october3, or Something Like that. Seth were gonna throw that up there too, were gonna get them all up. I think that ones right. Seth there we go. So, yeah. Changing changing lives. One cold thing of cheese fries at a time. [ light laughter ] seth your daughters, 12 and 6 . Yes. Seth alice is the 12yearold . Yes. Seth does she getting a comedy education living with two very funny parents . She is i think she its funny because at 12, they used such they used to be my only source of stories for programs like this, but now i cant do it anymore, because they catch me. Seth oh they dont like, alice came home one day and was, like, hey, a friend of mines sister showed me like a long Youtube Video of you telling stories about me on different talk shows. I was like, i dont know what youre talking about. [ laughter ] fakenews. [ laughter ] but yeah, its cool. Youll see like, you know, ash, like when he gets bigger, you get so excited. That you get really like, im gonna theyre bigger, im going to show you back to the future. Seth yeah. And you get to show them movies and stuff that you love. And shes, you know, getting a really great comedy education on her own. She, over one summer she binge watched all of the Andy Griffith show twice. Seth wow. Thats a real deep cut. Thats a deep cut. All of the Dick Van Dyke show. I mean, these are fundamental principles. Seth i mean, just to go a kid in todays age yeah. Seth to say i will watch black and white comedy. Yes. [ light laughter ] black and white gentle black and white comedy. Seth gentle black and white comedy, yeah. She watched all of the American Office this summer. Seth great. And i was like, those little seasons were like 26 episodes. Seth yeah. She watched it in like a week. [ light laughter ] and she came to me and she was like, what should i watch now . And i was like, well, youre 12 now. A lot of people like 30 rock. [ laughter ] so shes going to watch 30 rock and she watched a couple and she came back out to me and she was like, its too weird for me. And i was like oh, is it, make you feel weird cause mommy had to i dont know, like pretend to be in love with somebody that wasnt daddy . And she was just like, no, its just too weird for me. And i was like, oh, i thought you mean like, tonally. [ laughter ] and so i was like, okay. So, i had to take that hit. Like, that was a hard motherly hit. Seth yeah. To take. And shes like, so what should i watch . And, i was like, well, you know, what about parks and recreation . You might really like that. And she was like oh, i watched all of it already. [ laughter ] and then its so hard for me not to be, like, get in your room and watch 30 rock. [ laughter ] i was gonna spank her. I felt like that woman in Big Little Lies when she found out that like, zoe kravitz gave her kid the pill, birth control. And i was like, you come to me for that you dont go to aunt amy, and mike schur. [ laughter ] seth i just like my ensemble comedy from aunt amy. I like a gentle mike schur sensibility. 30 rock is overstuffed. Okay, fine. Seth did you have they seen previews of the early work of mean girls . Yeah. Theyve been coming to rehearsals every now and then, for the musical. Seth good. That is exciting. Because, that is the first thing that jeff and i have done that they are truly excited about. Seth thats great. And the little one came and watched, you know, a full run through last spring and at six at five then, just all the wrong takeaways. She was just like she was going back to her preschool being lets play mean girls. Im regina. I yell at you. Like, it was just like [ laughter ] shes like, im a sassy teenager. I was like, no, you gotta its very positive at its core. [ laughter ] a very positive message. Nope. I get it. Seth well this is i think of the takeaways, is be careful about the work you create over the years. Yes. Seth because your children will, one day, take the wrong messages from it. Yes, yeah. Seth yeah, well, i will do the same. Thank you so much for being here. And congrats. Thank you. I cant wait to see it. Seth i cant wait to see it. Tina fey, everybody great news airs thursday nights at 9 30 here on nbc. Mean girls opens on broadway april 8th at the August Wilson theater. Tickets are on sale now, well be right back with kevin millar and sean casey. [ cheers and applause ] the autumn carved turkey is back for a limited time at subway. So much turkey. Sarah every year we take a remember nashville . Both kimchi bbq amazing honkytonk i cant believe you got us tickets i did. I didnt pay for anything. sigh you never do. Send me what i owe. Ive got it. I mean, you did find money to buy those boots. alert beep are you serious . Is that why you dont like them . Those boots could make a unicorn cry. Yeah tears of joy. groan pay back a friend day is october 17th. Get the bank of america mobile banking app today. Nice man cave nacho . [ train whistle blows ] what . stop it mmhmm. Weve been saving a lot of money ever since we switched to progressive. This bar is legit. And now we get an even bigger discount from bundling home and auto. I can get used to this. It might take a minute. Swing and a miss slam dunk touchdown together sports [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Our next guest, are former Major League Baseball stars. One is the cohosts of intentional talk and a 2004 world series champion. And the other is an analyst for mlb tonight and a member of the Cincinnati Reds hall of fame. Please welcome back to the show, two of our favorites, kevin millar and sean casey, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back guys. Thank you. Arent they fantastic . Theyre amazing. Seth fifth time fifth time on the show. Yeah. Seth great. Heard tina this was her sixth time. Seth this was her sixth time. I dont want you to take dont be judged by that. Yeah. Martha stewart seven . Seth Martha Stewart seven. So were going to come back next week. Seth so you are [ light laughter ] im going to schedule us next next week. Seth you want to take down Martha Stewart . Yes. How great would that be . Seth yeah. [ talking over each other ] by the way, you would already be here more than Martha Stewart, if you guys could cook a little bit. I make a mean scramble. You come over my house, casey and i will make you up a nice scramble. Seth okay, good. You cook . Oh yeah, i cook. Seth cook by the way, a scramble is not a cook. What does that mean . By the way [ laughter ] is this pittsburgh lingo . Whats that mean . Scramble . Its a pittsburgh its a pittsburgh thing. You know, a couple eggs. Scramble em up. Yeah, you guys are like, yeah, okay. Seth thats not a pittsburgh thing. Everybody knows what a scramble is. [ laughter ] hey, raise your hand if you know what a scramble is. See, no one raised their hand. [ light laughter ] seth i think i would jump from scramble to probably scrambled eggs. Plus, look at, its sean. What else could he make . [ laughter ] i dont know, like fried cheese or something, you know what im saying . [ light laughter ] seth but kevin, i was this made me so happy this summer. You went back, and this was an actual baseball game. St. Paul saints, which was an independent league team, that you came up with. Yes. Seth you came and you played in a Minor League Game this summer. This was not an exhibition, right . No. This was real stuff. 25 years ago i played the st. Paul saints. Bill murray owns the club. Hes part owner. [ applause ] so im thinking okay, were going to have a bobble head doll, right . And im like, okay, yeah, ill come back there, only if i get one at bat. Now i said that as a joke. Seth yeah. Okay. Im an overweight dad. Im like a dads body, right . I havent done a pushup in seven years. Havent seen live pitching in seven years. Seth yeah. Okay . I took batting practice with my son in the garage. My son flip em, dad . cause i didnt want to blow out an oblique. Seth sure. [ light laughter ] god, it took 20 swings. Thats it. Seth 20 swings. You have to be careful. And then seth and then lets just go to the tape. This is real. Drilled high into your left field. Are you kidding me . Gone no way [ cheers and applause ] i feel like im a natural. Seth it was the best. It truly was i didnt hit a home run in batting practice. The players, of course, you know, they all think you played in the big leagues. Right, youre gonna hit the home run. Guys, im trying to just touch the ball. Seth yeah. And i hit a home run. It was a 10 pitch. I think i blacked out. [ laughter ] i didnt know what happened. I get over, that was the greatest thing ever im like, i just blacked out. What happened . I didnt know what happened. [ light laughter ] seth did you hear did the pitcher say anything . No, but that night i took all the boys out. Were out there having a drink and stuff. And all of a sudden, the pitcher was there. Then our team was at the bar. Im like theyre like, he wants to meet you. Im like, get him over here. I want to give him a hug. Hes like, i thought you were a dad, i just figure ill throw a fastball. It was a 10 pitch. And im like, thank you so much. [ light laughter ] seth well it was great to watch. And you mentioned bill murray was a owner of the team. He was a First Base Coach a few times when you played. He was our First Base Coach. One day, i think i told the story, but he came to the field. He was in the same clothes. Im like, bill, what happened . You cant change . And he got kicked out of his hotel room for playing ball with his kids. The broke a window and they kicked bill murray out, he slept in the parking lot at st. Paul. Seth wow. Yeah. So now, this is bill. This is his little bill. Yeah, this is what you get. And now hes rich again. [ light laughter ] seth you, you at the allstar game last year, real quick. My kids were there, were sitting down. And you know, a guy hasnt come. And my kids were like, who is this, there . I dont know, here comes bill murray. Its like, hey, its bill murray. My son andrew is sitting there. So, were watching the game. All of a sudden, i see bull murray just reaching over just crushing my sons fries. Boom. [ laughter ] and hes like, and my son leans in, and hes like, dad, bull murray keeps eating my fries. I go, let him eat em all. Let him eat em. Let him eat em, hes bull murray. [ laughter ] seth you gotta let bill murray eat your fries. Yes. Seth obviously, last year, a historic year in baseball. The cubs win the world series. And it was great because everybody was rooting for the cubs. There was a time where anyone was behind the idea of the cubs winning. But you, early in your career, you oh, yeah. Seth your reds eliminated the cubs from the playoffs. Yup. Seth and a lot of people feel sympathy for cubs fans. You do not choose the path of sympathy. I did not. And the reason was, cause when youre in cincinnati, obviously the cubs fans travel well. Theyre all there all the time. And everyone every time we went to chicago, they would kill us, right. All the time. And when you come out, seht, after the games, you roll up to the bus and theres always there was a bar right there and the fans would be like, hey. You know, saying some things i cant say on tv. But, yo, you guys stink. Basically. Their number one all these yeah. All these years of that. So then, 2003 with the reds, we knock em out of the playoffs in that in the last couple games of the year. So theyre out of the playoffs. We come to the bus. The fans arent saying anything. And were all like, oh, what are you gonna say now . We finally knocked you out. So sure enough, at like 5 00, youre rolling out of wrigleys on a thursday. Its packed. Traffic, you know. Bumper to bumper. Seth yeah, all bars. All bars. All bars. Bars everywhere. So were like four blocks away. Were bumper to bumper. You see this packed cubs bar. Just overflowing. I go up to the bus driver and i go, let me out. Hes like, what . And hes like, were in traffic. I go, you got to let me out. And barry larkin. Im like, larkin, tell him to let me out. He was like, let him out. So, next thing you know, im full suit. I walk out. Walk right into this bar. And im like, hey. And like, everyone kind looks at me like, whos this idiot . Im like, hey, all you chicago cub fans, the Cincinnati Reds just kicked your butt. Like they say in chicago, better luck next season right . And i think its really funny, until like 20 guys dont think its funny. They start coming after me, and chasing me. And im like, open the door to the bus driver. [ laughter ] oh, my gosh, just like this was such a bad idea. I like dive on the bus dukes of hazard style. Boom, im in there. Slide in through the thing. And then i get on the bus. Everyones pounding on the bus. And like fans are now on our bus. Barry larkin said 19 years in the big leagues, greatest thing hes ever seen. [ laughter ] seth this is im new to fatherhood. This is one of the greatest things ive ever seen. You were recently traveling with your son. I was. Seth you have how many kids . You have three or four . I have four, seth. Seth you both have four, right . Its lonely in beaumont, texas. [ laughter ] seth yeah, and you traveled with your son, which is really sweet. A father son trip. Great dad. [ laughter ] great dad, great dad. Seth you sent a photo. It seems like kevin, i want to say, it seems like youre in a first class seat, and it seems like your son is not. That is [ laughter and applause ] ive just got to ive got to be honest with you, though. Thats the year. Hes ten. Ive won ive won dad of the year for six straight years. Seth yeah. I didnt want the seventh year, but i figured like, im not buying him a first class ticket. The kids ten. So, i put him back there in coach and hes like, hey dad maybe, maybe youre ten, bro. What are you talking about . [ light laughter ] seth you youve been married 20 years . Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Seth and i heard this story, which was fantastic. You went out of your way for your groomsman at your wedding, to give them a piece of baseball memorabilia. Yes, memorabilia. Yeah, so it was my rookie year. Im hitting like 250. Im like, im gonna be out of here soon. Like, if i dont start hitting, you know, theyre gonna send me down. But im like, my weddings coming up, so i was thinking ive got ten groomsmen for some reason, you know what i mean . And im like, ive gotta ive gotta find a way to get these guys something cool. Like some memorabilia. So im like, ill start collecting bats, right . So i play first base. Hold runners all. Like, i remember my first bat was tony gwynn. Comes to first, knock to left. Im like, hey, tony, i know you dont know who i am. Ive only been out three weeks and im not a good player. But, anyway [ laughter ] is there any chance you could send over a signed bat for my groomsman. Tony gwynns like, all right, thats all right. So i get him, mark mcgwire, sammy sossa, larry walker. Seth and they just so after the game, they would send a bat over . Oh yeah, send a bat over. Seth thats so nice. It was so nice. So the last guy, im at nine bats. I need one more groomsman, right . Rickey hendersons out. I was like, oh, man its Rickey Henderson . He comes to first, like hey, rickey, how you doing . Says nothing. You know, he was one of the guys who didnt talk to you at first. So, but he talked in the third person. Like if rickey swung and missed, hed be like, rickey dont swing at that pitch, rickey dont swing at that pitch, man. [ laughter ] right . So im holding him on, im like, hey, rickey. Im so nervous, but im like, i gotta do it for my groomsman. Im like, any chance you could send over a signed bat . I need one more bat for my wedding, for my groomsman. He looks at me, hes like, rickey dont sign bats. Rickey steals bases. Bam he stole second. [ laughter ] all right, looks like i aint getting that tenth bat. What i did was i signed another bat from the kid my groomsmen had eight good bats, and two from me. [ laughter ] seth oh, well, thats still really good. And one of them said, in your handwriting, Rickey Henderson. Rickey henderson, exactly. [ laughter ] seth uh, thank you guys for being here, man. Its always such a pleasure to see you. [ cheers and applause ] kevin millar, sean casey. Mlb network. Exclusively televise the red sox at Houston Astros on thursday and yankees at cleveland on friday. Well be right back with more late night. 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Lifestyle. Thats why sweeney spent over a hundred grand of his Campaign Funds on highpriced meals and other gifts. Were talking fine cigars, fancy watches, pricey restaurants, and expensive wines all to charm the type of folks who helped him raise your taxes 145 times. Too many in south jersey are struggling. But steve sweeneys looking out for himself, not for us. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. So we here at late night we have a lot of expenses and to cover the cost of the show we take on sponsors. Sometimes, sadly we have to take on some pretty terrible sponsors, sponsors im not proud of, sponsors im ashamed we took money from. But, because we took their money we now have to mention them on the air. So, id like to apologize in advance. Late night is brought to you by rental floss. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] tired of paying exorbitant prices for new floss after every meal . Save some cash with rental floss. 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I dont see your name on it. Really . Ba bam know the rules. Keep your eggo. Leggo my eggo. Okay. I look back on my life and i know what it was for. What if i struggled. What if i sacrificed. And what if i swore id succeed. So you could wake up one day with the choice to be anything you wanted. Well then, my great granddaughter. It would all be worth it. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest tonight is a very funny writer and comedian. His album, the matt goldich guarantee, is available friday, october 6th. Please welcome our very good friend, matt goldich, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. I like facebook. [ light laughter ] thats a weird thing to say. I know. But i wish more websites were like facebook. Like, how awesome would it be if you could go to a porn website and there was a category called people you may know. I think that would be very exciting. [ laughter ] id be like forget about these amateurs. Im going to see if my friend jeff is on here. Thatd be pretty cool. [ laughter ] i went to a restaurant, not too long ago, that was not yet open to the public, because im a cool guy. And it was this thing. It was just for friends and family of the people who worked at the restaurant. It was called a soft opening. Have you guys heard that expression . A soft open . Yeah. That is the most disgusting phrase i have ever heard in my life. [ laughter ] a soft opening. I i dont want to go anywhere near a soft opening. Let alone eat inside one. Im sorry. [ laughter ] i was watching a ryan gosling movie on cable every night and [ laughter ] there was this scene in the movie i saw where ryan gosling is watching his son be baptized from the back of a church and he just starts crying. And its very emotional. Very moving. And i was, like, how does ryan gosling start crying like that when hes acting in a movie. So i ready an interview with him and it turns out, what hell do when he wants to start crying is hell think to himself, what if i wasnt ryan gosling. [ laughter ] and then the tears just start to flow. [ light laughter ] i have a two and a half year old son. And i did not want to become one of those comedians who was always talking about fatherhood, but then i thought to myself, whos the most famous comedian who always talked about fatherhood . Bill cosby. And yeah. Thats when i realized, you know, theres an opening at the top. [ laughter ] right . [ applause ] so, yeah. Thank you. Thats a grated bill cosby joke in 2017. Thats very hard. [ laughter ] there you go. My son is starting to say really funny things. The other day he asked my wife, can i touch your boobs . And she was like, no, you cant touch my boobs. And his response was, can i do it quietly . [ laughter ] naw, dude. Thats way creepier. Thats a [ laughter ] trust me, its not a volume issue. Thats not the problem. [ laughter ] im worried about him growing up, because i think kids grow up a lot faster than they used to. Like i was talking to my nephew whos eight. And he was just mentioning some girl in his class. And i said oh, is that your girlfriend . And he said no, girls have cooties. And i was like, oh, well, you know, some day youll like girls. And he said stop being so heteronormative. I was like, whoa. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] where did that come from . I dont think ill be good giving my son the sex talk. Like i know ill say things that will confuse him. You know, ill be like, all right, listen up, you should always practice safe sex and never have sex without a condom, because trust me, once you do youre never going to want to go back to using a condom again. So. [ laughter ] its just a lot less fun. [ light laughter ] boy i think we can all agree that the country is crazy right now politically. Heres how fd up things are right now. I actually know who my congressperson is. [ laughter ] yeah. [ applause ] that is not normal. Lets not normalize that. I dont want to know that guys name. But were a very divided nation. But personally, i choose not to focus on the things that divide us. As people i choose to focus on the things that unite us. And the one thing we all have in common, whether youre a republican or democrat or black or white, gay or straight, each and every one of us, we all have a podcast. And i think thats [ light laughter ] whats going to take us into the next decade. Well i have to go in a minute, but before i do, i just wanted to make a quick announcement to you guys as a public service, that october is National Awareness month. So yeah. Just just be on the lookout in general. [ laughter ] thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] seth matt goldich, everybody. That was great. Nice to finally meet you. Seth nice to meet you too. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] eightyfive hundred dollars . . Vanstone auctions . Sold for eight thousand five hundred unicorn in rouge. Congratulations, sir. When you need help fast, call us with td asap on the td bank app and skip to the front of the line. Hi alex, i have your account pulled up. How can i help . Oh, uh. Great. Are you seeing this charge from an auction house . That doesnt look right. Ill take care of that. Oh good. Thank you. Because when you need help, you need it asap. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to tina fey, kevin millar and sean casey, matt goldich, everybody [ cheers and applause ] gene hoglan, 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. See you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ]
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