Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20171013

Its been three weeks [ light laughter ] 5 thats like saying you worked with scaramucci forever. [ laughter ] whats your hurry . We still have troops in germany what are they doing, checking hitlers pulse . Look, we can afford to keep troops in puerto rico until long after youve left the white house. Maybe even until christmas. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] white house chief of staff john kelly gave the Daily Press Briefing today, and said his job is not to control President Trump its to find President Trump. [ light laughter ] donald, where are you . Time to run the country, big guy. Donald . [ applause ] during the press briefing today, john kelly said that President Trumps tweets dont make his job more difficult. Really . Because theyre making mine impossible. [ laughter ] do you have any idea what i would give to be making a Hillary Clinton pantsuit joke right now . [ cheers and applause ] oh, are you the president or in the Galactic Senate . Oh, come back [ light laughter ] golf magazine is calling senator Lindsey Grahams claim that President Trump shot a 73 during a recent game together patently unbelievable. [ light laughter ] golf magazine is calling the president a liar. [ laughter ] so thats it thats all the magazines. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] today is Spanish Language day, and i took spanish [ cheers ] yeah. I took spanish in high school. So id just like to say, [ speaking in spanish ] [ laughter ] it comes from the heart. [ cheers and applause ] a Los Angeles Times report indicates that President Trump will often call sean hannity after his fox news show airs. We here at late night actually received a transcript of the end of their most recent call. See for yourself. [ laughter ] according to a new poll, arabic is now the most common language among new immigrants to the u. S. The second most common is whispering. What the hell is going on here . [ laughter and applause ] and finally, a woman in wisconsin reportedly traded a single packet of mcdonalds limited edition szechuan sauce for a car, so now shes the proud owner of a definitely stolen car. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight [ cheers and applause ] from the new film, geostorm, Gerard Butler is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] hes got a new standup special on netflix. Hes one of my favorite comedians. Annihilation is the special. Patton oswalt is the comedian. [ cheers and applause ] before we move on, a couple weeks ago i was talking about football, how much i love football, how i want my son to like football. My son and i are both in a football pool this year. Hes only 18 months old. [ light laughter ] so its a threestrike pool. You pick one team a week, if your team loses, thats strike one, so on and so forth. So ive been picking the way ive been picking is ive been using a lifetime of being a football fan. Ive been using analysis, i read about games, i keep up on players. The way my son ash has been picking his teams is i put plastic football helmets in a bag and he just takes one out. We are five weeks into the season. I am out of the pool. [ light laughter ] ash only has one strike. So this is heartbreaking. Heartbreaking to me. [ applause ] so wednesday mornings we make our picks, i put the helmets in the bag, very exciting for me. We film it every week. And this week he usually only takes out he doesnt take out one at a time. Hell take out multiple ones and then he has to hand me one. And it was very dramatic this week because he it was down to the two he took out were the patriots and the chiefs. The chiefs are playing the steelers, who i love. And so i desperately wanted him, when i saw those two, to give me the patriots, not the chiefs. Very dramatic. Take a look. Hey, ash. Will you pick one . Will you give me a ball . Just one. Just one. [ gasp ] the patriots. Thank you for not giving me the chiefs versus the steelers. [ light laughter ] good job. [ audience aws ] seth hes getting there. Hes making progress. [ applause ] but if you love money, take the patriots. Hes very good. Hes very good at gambling. Moving on. This week, weve seen examples of powerful men at the highest levels of entertainment and politics, from Harvey Weinstein to donald trump, abusing their power to silence, bully or coerce. And its a reminder that our toxic culture of male entitlement is still very much intact. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth of course, we have a president who built his political career almost entirely on bullying. His campaign and now his presidency have been, in many ways, a performance of dominance, a performance that has in many cases been explicitly misogynist. We saw that just recently when he viciously attacked the mayor of san juan, carmen yulin cruz, for having the audacity to criticize him and speak up for her constituents. We have a mayor of san juan, puerto rico, who didnt attend meetings, who didnt work with fema, who really did not do a very good job. In fact, did a very poor job. But shes not a capable person. Seth im sorry. Shes not a capable person . What did you do after the hurricane . You took a week to even send fema, you reminded them about their debts, and then you showed up two weeks after that and chucked paper towels like a teenager in the break room at costco. [ light laughter ] this is what male entitlement looks like a woman of color literally wading through floodwaters to help her constituents being attacked by a powerful man so incompetent, he probably floods his own bathroom because he forgets to turn the faucet off. [ laughter ] melania it happened again [ applause ] i made a hurricane. [ laughter ] trump is so unqualified for his job, that in the last week, a republican senator has described the white house as adult daycare, and people close to the president have called him unstable and unraveling. One adviser said aides were relieved when trump declined to appear on 60 minutes last month because hes lost a step. Hes lost a step . [ light laughter ] he didnt have that many steps to begin with. If he had a fitbit, it would die of boredom. [ laughter ] he literally started his president ial campaign by refusing to take any steps. [ laughter and applause ] his main form of transportation is cart. Trump is apparently so clueless that when one of his closest associates warned him that he was in danger of being removed from office, trump had no idea what he was talking about. Several months ago, former chief strategist steve bannon told trump that the risk to his presidency wasnt impeachment, but the 25th amendment, the provision by which a majority of the cabinet can vote to remove the president. When bannon mentioned the 25th amendment, trump said, whats that . [ audience ohs ] in fairness, most of us probably didnt know the 25th amendment until recently. But we werent applying for the job [ light laughter ] i cant make a macchiato either, but if i was applying to starbucks, i would definitely google it. [ laughter ] these are trying times for the president. Trump has apparently been so depressed and angry at the state of his administration, and what he sees as disloyalty from his staff that he reportedly told a close associate, i hate everyone in the white house. There are a few exceptions, but i hate them. [ laughter ] his staff talked about him like hes a toddler, but trump is really a moody teenager whose parents wont let him go to kevins lake house for the weekend. I hate everyone in this house [ laughter ] im turning the faucets on seriously [ laughter and applause ] based on that, were like a week away from goth trump. [ laughter ] and when trump isnt trying to excuse his own failures by lashing out as his own staff, hes lashing out as reporters, as he did yesterday when he said it was disgusting that the press is allowed to write whatever they want to write, and threatened to revoke the licenses of news outlets he doesnt like. He tweeted, network news has become so partisan, distorted, and fake, that licenses must be challenged and if appropriate, revoked. Not fair to public. Wow. He wants to revoke the broadcast licenses of networks he doesnt like. Thats really going to shrink down the channel guide. [ laughter and applause ] how do i get it on one . Of course, it should not surprise us that donald trump is now trying to silence and bully journalists. Its worth remembering that almost a year ago exactly, trump tried to silence and bully the 12 women who accused him of Sexual Harassment by viciously attacking them and even threatening to sue them. When you looked at that horrible woman last night, you said, i dont think so i dont think so. Whoever she is, wherever she comes from, the stories are total fiction. Every woman lied when they came forward to hurt my campaign. Total fabrication. All of these liars will be sued after the election is over. Seth and as we know, donald trump keeps all his promises, so those women were sued and found guilty at a trial held right next to the finished Mexican Border wall on the same day that obamacare was repealed. [ cheers and applause ] donald trump is perhaps the most famous example of this kind of abusive male power, but he is by no means the only one, as we learned yet again this week when arguably the most powerful man in hollywood, Harvey Weinstein, was accused by at least 25 women of Sexual Harassment, and in three cases, rape. I guess its no surprise that weinstein is apparently just as defiant as donal trump, and reportedly already plotting his comeback. We spoke to harvey last night. We have spoken to him a lot, actually. Hes been calling the newsroom, panicking. And his mood tends to change. You know, it started out being extremely cavalier about all of these allegations, never fully admitting to what people are claiming that hes done. But we spoke to him last night, and he was defiant. Said that he was going to fight these accusations and he also even said that he was planning a comeback, like he expects to continue working, and to come back next year. Seth next year . You think he can come back in a year . If weinstein had himself cryogenically frozen and woke up a thousand years from now, the headline would still be, too soon, creep. [ laughter ] but i suppose its not surprising that weinstein would defiantly plot his comeback just days after being accused of Sexual Assault, given the perverse ways he and his team tried to rationalize his behavior. Weinstein himself of course first insisted, i came of age in the 60s and 70s when all the rules about behavior in workplaces were different. That was the culture then. And one of his lawyers described weinstein as an old dinosaur learning new ways. Dinosaurs dont learn new ways. They go extinct they didnt survive because they learned to type. [ cheers and applause ] if youre a dinosaur, then this is your ice age, buddy. And unlike real dinosaurs, no one is ever going to try and bring back Harvey Weinstein. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] this entire ordeal is yet another window into the entitled mind of powerful, predatory men who are used to operating without consequence. Weinstein thought he could escape the fallout of the allegations against him, as he did for so many years, even though those accusations were horrifying. At least 25 women, including some of hollywoods most prominent actresses, have now come forward, accusing weinstein of acts ranging from harassment to rape. Gwyneth paltrow telling the New York Times that when she was 22, a meeting with weinstein, quote, ended with him placing his hands on her and suggesting they head to the bedroom for massages. Ashley judd alleges that two decades ago, weinstein had her sent up to his hotel room and then greeted her in a bath robe, asking if he could give her a massage or she could watch him shower. Seth the only reason anyone should ever watch Harvey Weinstein shower is to confirm that it actually happened. [ light laughter ] he always looks like he just got rescued from a desert island. There is no doubt this horrifying story reveals yet again a culture of systemic misogyny that exists at the highest levels of society. In the last year and a half, the most powerful man in news, the most powerful man in politics, and the most powerful man in hollywood have been accused of serial sexual predation. This should not be a partisan issue. It requires all of us to speak out and ask ourselves what we can do to address it. So naturally, some republicans and rightwing pundits rushed in to exploit the scandal for political gain. White house counselor Kellyanne Conway slammed Hillary Clintons response on twitter with this. It took hillary about five minutes to blame the nra for a mad mans rampage but five days to sorta kinda blame Harvey Weinstein for his Sexual Assault. Seth oh, my god, you work for donald trump, remember . You know, big dumb guy, about yay high, bragged about Sexual Assault on a bus, loves to throw paper towels at hurricane victims . [ light laughter ] and not only has the right jumped in to exploit the scandal, but the weinstein bombshells have also spawned some of the most perverse takes on what to do about serial Sexual Harassment. Like former Trump White House adviser, Sebastian Gorka who cited Vice President mike pences personal prohibition against eating alone with any woman who is not his wife. Gorka tweeted, think, if it weinstein had obeyed vp pences rules for meeting with the opposite sex, none of those poor women would ever have been abused. I cant believe i have to say this, but you should be able to be alone with a woman and not sexually assault her. [ cheers and applause ] in fact, if the only thing if the only Thing Holding you back is that there are other people in the room, thats a problem. Thats like saying, think, if Hannibal Lecter had kept kosher, those poor people would never have been eaten. [ laughter ] look, there are predators of all political persuasions and in both parties. This should not be partisan issue, and moreover, women should not be held accountable for the predatory behavior of men. This is a problem [ cheers and applause ] with systemic misogyny and male entitlement. And men need to speak up and address their complicity in the system that allows these things to happen. You want to argue that Harvey Weinstein is just as bad as donald trump, fine. Harvey weinstein was, after far too long, found out and fired. Donald trump has been found out for a year and were still waiting. Whats the hold up . Not only has he been accused of Sexual Assault, hes also not a capable person. Seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with Gerard Butler, everybody [ cheers and applause ] announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. But there will still be pain. It comes when your Insurance Company says theyll only pay threequarters of what it takes to replace it. What are you supposed to do . Drive threequarters of a car . Now if you had Liberty Mutual new car replacement™, youd get your whole car back. I guess they dont want you driving around on three wheels. Smart. With Liberty Mutual new car replacement™, well replace the full value of your car. Liberty stands with you™. Liberty mutual insurance. The autumn carved turkey is back for a limited time at subway. So much turkey. Get on up, mama. Get on up. Do what you want. Do you want, let the record hop. Degree motionsense. Ultimate freshness. With every move. The more you move, the more it works. Degree, it wont let you down. The amazing new iphone 8 is at at t. 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Be sure to check out an indepth article on his band joe russos almost dead on the cover of relix magazine. Joe russo, everybody [ cheers and applause ] thank you, seth. Seth thank you for a great week. Really wonderful having you here. You know our first guest tonight from films like 300 and olympus has fallen. He stars in geostorm which is in theaters and imax october 20th. Lets take a look. Lets take this thing apart and find out what happened in hong kong. Bring it down. Should have come down by now. What is that . I have no idea. All right, shut it down its not responding jesus, hernandez. Careful get down whoa okay, get out of here go go, go, go hernandez, go lets go somebody, open this door now watch out seth please welcome back to the show, Gerard Butler, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Im good. Im good. Seth good. I so i cant tell you how happy i am with your beard. [ laughter ] because it looks just exactly the way i want your beard to look. Yeah, it looks just exactly the way that i like it to look. Seth yeah. Its just like robust. Yeah. Exactly. Seth so this film we saw a satellite in that trailer. Yes. Seth or in the clip. This is about a Weather Satellite that you created as a scientist that then sort of goes haywire. Yeah. Its basically the film is set in the very near future. But it seems to be in the very, very near future, you know and seth no, almost present. When seth yeah. Yeah, pretty much present when Global Warming has caused this basically all the governments of the planet to unite and build this this kind of complicated system of satellites that can individually control the environment. And my characters the guy who built that. But now theres an issue with it. You know, we think, oh the worlds been saved, you know, this existential crisis is going to be cool. But, no, because we find a malfunction and you realize what happens if this thing is weaponized or gets out of control. Seth well then i will say not that im happy to hear that for the fictional role where that that happens, but if youve got Gerard Butler in your movie, you need something to go wrong so that you can go fix it. [ light laughter ] yeah. Seth like, its not i dont want to see. If its not going right seth i dont want to see ill make it go wrong. Thats for sure. Seth yeah. I dont want to see a movie where its like, oh, Gerard Butler creates a satellite and thats it. Yeah. Seth its over. [ laughter ] yeah, yeah, yeah. No. And, also, really, Gerard Butler create a satellite . Are you kidding me . [ laughter and applause ] seth yeah. No one no can i put this up here or do i have to hide it . Seth yeah, you can put it there if thats better. I feel like its been hidden down there. Seth no, just put it there, yeah. Well, just keep the vodka down there. [ laughter ] seth yeah, the vodka down there. Oh, good, its still there. You but you have been kind of a worldsaver in some movies. Olympus has fallen. This is another example. But yet, you are scottish. And, when you go back to scotland, do they consider you heroic now that youve been in these movies, playing these these sort of characters . No, not at all. Seth yeah. No. [ light laughter ] you cant get away with much in scotland. You know, its like, you know, oh, you think youre a big man, hey . We did that like seth yeah, yeah. I did my scottish impersonation [ laughter ] my scottish impersonation. Seth you have a great scottish impersonation. [ laughter and applause ] exactly, you know. Oh, you think youre a big man . Hey, youre saving the world i remember i was in this bar once and there was a girl looking over at me. I was with all my friends, i was having a great time. It was just when i was starting to get known. And i see her and shes kind of staring at me, like almost like, youre a dick, because i know who you are. [ light laughter ] seth really . [ laughter ] and i can see her like, eh . Like almost like that, eh . And then she finally walks over, and she goes, you know, i know your face through the tele but im not going to tell you that because it will give you a big [ bleep ] head. [ laughter ] im like well, why did you come here to tell me that then . Go back over there. But, hey seth scottish flirting. Thats exactly. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] exactly. So we dated for two years. Seth two years, right, yeah. [ light laughter ] and then she broke it off because she saw your face in a movie and shes like, thats too much. [ light laughter ] ill see it on a tele, but a movie is too much. Back to the you think youre a big man, hey . Think youre saving the world . Seth so you take these films very seriously, especially a film like this thats so active. You know theres a lot of stunts in this, moving around. Yeah. Seth and for your health, you tried something new on this film. In order to not get sick. Explain your relationship with bee venom. Yeah. [ light laughter ] yeah. Seth this is a real thing. Im a maniac. Yeah, i dont know what i was thinking. But i had this nutrition i i had a lot of inflammation. I was hanging a lot on wires in this 65 pound space suit. And thats fine for a few minutes, you know, a couple of hours maybe. But after five weeks, its kind of you know, youre hurting. So my nutritionist said, ive got this great guy. Oh, my god. Bee venom. Heres this thing. Seth uhhuh. And hes incredible. So i get on the phone with him and hes like, listen, you know, it has all these antiinflammatory compounds and i said, dude, it sounds amazing. But, you know, he made it sound so logical and im thinking seth yeah. If i can stay organic and do things in a healthier way rather than having to take anything else, you know seth yeah. Or you know, synthetic. So i go, okay, great. When can you get here . He says, well, when do you want me here . And, i say, tonight. He goes, itll cost you. And i go, great, fly in. So he flies in. The next minute, im topless in my place and he basic seth everyone else would think this is so shady. Its so shady. [ laughter ] seth and i love and were just getting started. Seth yeah, oh, gotcha. So he goes, okay, check this out. This is probably about 2. 3 bee stings. And gives me a shot in the arm. And he goes, weve just go got to check that youre not allergic. So i go, oof, that its getting sort of bad im okay. So he goes, okay. So he gives me another ten. Seth oh, wow 23 bee stings. And then, basically, 23 bee stings. And then i have the worst rea ive never had an allergic so, i actually, i get ants in my pant like crawling [ audience ohs ] and in my head. And suddenly my arm starts swelling up and i get all blotchy. And then my heart beating like im sure its going to explode. And im going seth this is like the origin of a superhero named beeman. Yeah. [ laughter and applause ] and i say so i said to him get the epipen he goes, i cant, youll have a heart attack. I says, then call an ambulance and he doesnt call an ambulance. He goes, lets just seth is this the point where he says, im not a doctor i am not a doctor yeah. [ laughter ] i dont know even know what this [ bleep ] is. So he then i get over it, and i as i go, okay, im going to be okay. He calls the guy who the guy who sells it to him, the guy who created this thing and he puts him on speaker. Just so that guy can tell him what an idiot hes been and i can hear it. The guy says, how much did you give him . And he says, i gave him, like,. 8 liters or milliliters. And he goes, are you crazy [ light laughter ] that is not protocol you could have killed him [ light laughter ] and hes like this [ laughter ] so anyway, he goes home, and this is where the maniac part comes in. I decide a few days later, maybe it wasnt an allergic reaction. Maybe i just took too much. So i get on the phone hes like [ light laughter ] so he talks me through. And my girlfriend was coming in to visit me at that point. We had just started dating and i didnt want her to know how crazy i was. And so i take a shot. Thinking its going to be okay. And i have an even worse reaction. And im im like, oh, my god. Then, im thinking my throat is closing over. And then i say to the driver, okay, youve got to take me to the hospital. And i say to my assistant, go get morgan, please dont tell her what happened. Tell her im just late at work. And hes like anyway, i end up in the hospital, and they say, what, so its a bee sting . And i went, yeah. They go, what happened . And i said, well, i injected myself. [ laughter ] and they said, oh, my god, thats terrible. So, and that was tonight . And i says, well, it was four days ago, as well. [ laughter ] anyway. So that you know. Seth thats great. It turns out, telling that to real doctors all of a sudden was like, that is not a good idea at any point. [ laughter ] oh, no. Seth yeah. Yeah, yeah. So it was like so you think youre a big man, hey . [ laughter and applause ] seth well, im glad youre okay. Thank you so much for being here. Gerard butler, everybody. Geostorm is in theaters and imax october 20th. Well be right back with Patton Oswalt. Man, thats a great story. [ cheers and applause ] you know who likes to be in control . This guy. Check it out selfappendectomy oh, thats really attached. Thats why i rent from national. Where i get the control to choose any car in the aisle i want, not some car they choose for me. Which makes me one smooth operator. Ah still a little tender. vo go national. Go like a pro. Posting hashtag yeehaw. Hashtag i have no signal and i still cant post out here. Woah look out, coming through. Hey thomas. Howdy there joy. See joys got the new iphone with verizon unlimited. You bet i do. Best phone, best network. Americas largest, most reliable 4g lte network. She can post out here like she does in the city. Hey twelve likes. What . 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May cause low sodium levels. The most common side effects were nausea, constipation and vomiting. Ask your healthcare professional if its time for a change to trintellix. Like paperless, multicar, and safe driver, that help them save on their car insurance. Any questions . Yeah. How do you go to the bathroom . Great. Any insurancerelated questions . Mmhmm. Do you have a girlfriend . Uh, im actually focusing on my career right now, saving people nearly 600 when they switch, so. Wheres your belly button . [ sighs ] ive got to start booking better gigs. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is a grammy and emmyaward winning comedian, actor, and bestselling author you know from the king of queens and justified, and such films as young adult and ratatouille. His new standup special Patton Oswalts annihilation begins streaming on netflix october 17th. Lets take a look. Im genuinely im genuinely surprised that youre in such a good mood, especially with what im sure you guys saw, what just went down on twitter like five minutes ago. You didnt see . No . Im kidding. Nothing happened. But thats [ laughter ] thats the world were living in right now, basically. Is every oh, [ bleep ], what did he do . What . Wait . What do you mean . [ laughter ] i almost feel like i could get out of a mugging using that for the next couple of years. Like if someone put a gun in my face. Give me your wallet. You know what, just take my keys, man, its over. Go check twitter. What . And i just bolt, like i could [ laughter ] make it. Seth please welcome back to the show, our friend, Patton Oswalt [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Good, good. Hi thanks, guys. Seth hi. Its always such a delight to see you. Yes. Seth we met in 2004. Yes, we did. Seth on the set of a film that not a lot of people have seen called see no. Seth see this movie. Ironically called see this movie. See this movie. Seth where we played film look at the look how young we are. A couple of young film students. Look at all the hope. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] look at all the hope. Seth this movie was so long ago, pictures were blurry. Yeah, they really were. [ laughter ] seth yeah. Thats before hd. And thats john cho right there. Seth thats and john cho right there. The great john cho in the middle. There he is right in the middle. Yeah. Seth i also were working on a show together youre doing the hard work. Yeah. Seth youre a cast member on a new show called a. P. Bio. Yeah. Seth this is gonna on nbc in february. Yeah. Seth and you were here yeah, give it up for a show you havent seen. Yes [ cheers and applause ] seth give it up for a show that has yet to be scheduled. We could have just made that up. But yeah, applaud. Seth yeah, we could have made that up. Seth that was a test. Yeah, why not . Seth but you came out theres a thing called up front where thats where we saw each other last. The last and id never done up fronts. Up fronts are where you come and you talk to affiliates and press about the show. And i did not know that it was a morn it was a dawn til dusk. Just nonstop gab fest where youre basically selling your product. So i didnt see you that day until the end of the night at that restaurant, where we all got together. And so when i and i was so happy to see you. But i had so been stuck in my head, in selling the show mode that our conversation i was so afraid afterward, im like he thinks im psychotic. Because you were it was like, hey, man, good to see you. Its great to see you, seth. And this restaurant is fantastic. The food here is [ laughter ] is so like, i dont even remember what i said. It was just in that weird nonhuman way of it was like i was trying to sell you on the wonder of hanging out with me. [ light laughter ] even though we were already hanging out. It was the saddest [ applause ] seth that was not my take on it. No. Seth no. Okay, good, good. My god. Seth you and your co star, Glenn Howerton were on the red carpet. Yeah. Seth i remember us talking about this at the dinner. Because e was talk they were interviewing people about the tenth anniversary of the kardashians. Yes they were. Seth and you guys have a new show on nbc. So new, youre new to the network. You did not realize that e and nbc are owned by the same company. No idea. And so were going down the carpet and talking and then e goes, hey, can we get your thoughts on the tenth Year Anniversary of keeping up with the kardashians . and glenn said, i would rather cut my scrotum off with a razor blade. [ laughter ] and this is on camera. Like theyre talking oh, well i mean, you know, its youre both on kind of on the same network. And you could see glenns face realizing what he had just done. And then he like you could hear the gears grinding. Of him going but ten years is impressive, whether or not i want to talk about [ laughter ] it was the and i am beside him, like, just trying it was the maybe the worst save ive ever seen. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. But it was beautiful. It was one of the best oh, i love this so much. Its so funny. Seth so congratulations on your special, annihilation. Thank you. Seth obviously we saw in the clip, its a little bit about, you know, the world were living in now. But you also had an incredibly difficult year. Yes. Seth your wife passed away. And you talk about that at length. Certainly my condolences. Our condolences. The title. Was that was it hard to pick the title . Or was it it was you know, i didnt really i didnt really come up with the title until i was a week away from doing the special. Because thats how it felt to me at that point in terms of the world. It felt like the world had been annihilated and then in talking about what i had gone through, i was taken back emotionally to april of 2016. And that was where i felt like i had been annihilated. There were months where i wasnt even sure if i was alive, basically. And then so as a almost as a joke on top of those two very dark concepts was, you know, the comedian speak of oh, i killed, i annihilated. So i was like, okay, ill put that in there almost as an ironic because i was so terrified of what if i go out and tape this special and it just bombs horribly, and im not able to make this stuff funny. And so i just i almost put that in there as a reverse good luck charm, maybe. Seth yeah. If that make sense . Seth did you obvious, you know, for people who dont know, when you do a special, youre working on material for so long, so many nights. Yes. Seth did not only were you obviously are you working towards having a product that youre proud to show people. Was it incredibly cathartic for you to go through that process of talking about this thing on stage . Yeah, once i actually got on stage it was horrible, the hours and minutes leading up to it. It got to the point where im like, just let me go out and tape this because the tension was killing me. And then once i got out there and it started going, and when you do a special, if youve really worked it, the special takes over and its almost like you ride the material itself. Not to that sounds very hippieesque im sorry about that. [ light laughter ] you know what you do man, you just you catch a laughter wave. And seth yeah, sure. [ laughter ] and you get on your you get on your get on your smile surfboard. [ laughter ] seth yeah. [ light laughter ] and you know what you do . You ride it into chuckle beach. Thats what im trying [ laughter and applause ] no, but like, you know but i didnt know, because i was so in my own head even doing it. But id be like, what if i dont what if the stuff doesnt take over . And i dont but it did. Its like this is what i do. And it was this very it was almost like the life force asserting itself, going, yes, youve gone through all of this hell, and but youre still a comedian and this is what you do. And it just that felt really amazing to me. [ cheers and applause ] seth its wonderful. Yeah, yeah. Seth its wonderful to watch. You your daughter, 8yearsold. 8yearsold now. Seth halloween coming up. Halloween coming up. Seth does she have plans . She has huge plans. She has picked a very elaborate costume that were going to were still trying to put together that she told me she goes, i know youre going on tv. Dont say my costume seth okay, great. Like, you guys will blog about it or something. Or, you know. [ light laughter ] but the thing about every year, her friend she has this friend who goes to this very progressive Hippie School in los feliz, where its the kind of school where thats like we dont have walls. And like, we dont instead of an a or an f, me give a sticker of a smiling pomegranate or a worried opossum. [ laughter ] like, wait, what . You know. But they do this really cool halloween carnival every year. And they and the kids these you know, grade school kids, put together a Haunted House. And its so charming. You go in, and they have they make hallways out of trash bags and you go down the hall and something jumps, boo, and the kids its just and ive ive taken my daughter since she was three, and she just jumps in my arms and hides her head, but i can hear her laughing. Shes like, thinks she its hilarious for her to be scared by this silly thing. But the last year we went, i dont know why this happened, the adults at the school decided we are going to help do the Haunted House. So i go in with alice, and theres a bunch of other kids, and the first thing that happens, we walked in, and this woman dressed like a witch pops out and says, ive killed harry potter [ laughter ] and all of the kids go, what and just, like, start crying. And then she has to start going, no, but what happened was, he used an amulet to save him youll see at the end. Like, she has to then tell the whole story of the haunted so instead of, like, a fun Haunted House with werewolves and ghosts, it was, we walked in the room and then adults just pitched bad movie sequels to us. [ laughter ] i guess [ applause ] and what really, really bummed me out was the first year i took alice through the Haunted House at this school, i saw the scariest thing ive ever seen by accident. Because, you know, again, you go down these halls and stuff pops out. So i turn the last corner, and, you know, thats where you go down the exit. This long hallway. And when i turn the corner, at the end of at the end of the hallway, as i turn, a kindergartner had gotten lost. And the kindergartner was wearing, like, an adult monster mask. And on its tilted on his head. So its this giant head and this little body and hes standing under a red light bulb. So i turned the corner, and theres just this little like thing. [ laughter ] like, at the end of this hall, like, i i [ bleep ] my pants off, like thats like boom it was so [ applause ] i have never gotten over that. It was so terrifying. Seth well, i hope you have a less terrifying halloween. Always great to see you, buddy. Yes. Seth congrats on the special. Thank you so much. Seth Patton Oswalt, everybody. Patton oswalt annihilation begins streaming october 17th on netflix. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] upbeat musi its here its here its here speaking hindi speaking spanish hraaerrr wookiee . Campbells new star wars soups. Made for real, real life. Campbells new star wars soups. But also actively steer. Not only to automatically brake. Were getting closer to our ultimate goal a World Without accidents. Experience driverfirst innovation. Experience amazing. Get on up, mama. Get on up. Do what you want. Do you want, let the record hop. Degree motionsense. Ultimate freshness. With every move. The more you move, the more it works. Degree, it wont let you down. [ cheers and applause ] i write them a poem instead. And one for each of you too. And one for each of you too. Helen cool. That actually yours. That one. Yeah. Regardless, were stuck with the bill. To many, words are the most valuable currency. Last i checked, stores dont take words. Man some do. Oh. alert beeps not everyone can be the poetic voice of a generation. I know, right . Such a burden. Pay back a friend day is october 17th. Get the bank of america mobile banking app today. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to the show its official. Apple has two new iphones, the iphone 8 and the iphone x. But what you may not know seth, look at me. Seth im sorry ben, this isnt the time. [ light laughter ] seth, i have something important to ask. Seth sorry, everyone, this is one of our writers, ben warheit. [ cheers and applause ] seth, will you sit in silence with me . Seth what . Seth. Will you sit here for one uninterrupted minute of silence and just be in the moment with me . Seth no. [ laughter ] its just one minute. Seth why would i ever want to do that . Because i think its important for you to understand that, you know, youre more than just the jokes and commentary you have to offer. Seth, youre not a circus clown. [ laughter ] youre a real person. You dont need to be on all the time. We dont have to fill every single second of our time with material. Were allowed to just be here. So, come on. Be with me in the silence. [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] seth and do what . Do nothing. It doesnt matter. You could look at me, you could look wherever you want. Seth i guarantee people will think this is stupid. [ light laughter ] okay. So maybe people think, well its stupid. Do you think youre stupid . I dont. I i dont. I think youre kind and creative. And a good boss. [ audiences aws } and a good dad and husband. And i think people in your life will still care about you. You know, even if youre not constantly trying to entertain them. [ laughter ] seth yeah, man. I can already tell this is making the audience super uncomfortable. [ laughter ] i know. I know its uncomfortable. Its its unfamiliar. And its like yeah, it may feel embarrassing and awkward. That doesnt mean its wrong. [ laughter ] be with me in the silence. You know, people could laugh or not. It doesnt matter. It doesnt have to be funny. You know, it could be boring. Its fine. Just like the people will always be there writing articles and commenting under youtube videos. Thats for tomorrow. Right now, i just ask, in this moment, be with me in the silence. Seth i dont know. All right. Ill tell you what. If you sit here with me [ laughter ] for one uninterrupted minute of silence, i promise you, not only will you feel a lot better, but when its all over, ill show everyone a video of larry birds best dunks but with all the dunk sounds replaced by fart sounds. [ laughter ] and because of, you know, the light and stupid nature of such a thing, we can all then take a collective breath knowing that the moment of sincerity is over and were all going back to doing exactly what everyone expects from us. Seth okay. Yeah . Seth when do we start . We start right now. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ laughter ] [ laughter ] thats about a minute. Seth alright. [ laughter and applause ] not so bad, right . Seth no, it wasnt so bad. Seth, thank you. Seth thank you, ben. All right, roll it, alex [ farting noises ] [ farting noises ] [ farting noises ] [ farting noises ] seth well be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]. Weve doubled our lte coverage. Were already the fastest 4g lte network, and we just keep getting faster. And now americas best unlimited gets even more powerful when you pair it with the new iphone everyone is excited about. Introducing the amazing iphone 8. Its the best iphone yet, now on americas best unlimited network. For a limited time, save up to three hundred dollars on iphone 8. And now, join tmobiles Iphone Upgrade Program for free. [ america by the 7seater volkswagen atlas. Lifes as big as you make it. Dad molly, can you please take out the trash . sigh dad molly trash whoo mom hey, molly . Its time to go bell ringing class, lets turn to page 136, recessive traits skip generations. Who would like to read . molly i reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection. Its running much faster now. See . Its amazing, molly. Thank you. thank you. saved money on motorcycle insurance with geico. Goin up the country. Later, gary i have a motorcycle wonderful. Im goin up the country, baby dont you wanna go . Im goin up the country, baby dont you wanna go . Geico motorcycle, great rates for great rides. Starbucks narino 70 cold brew coffee. In stores now. Only at starbucks. Announcer for more late night go to latenightseth. Com. Follow us on instagram and twitter latenightseth. And be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook. Head over to itunes and subscribe to the late night with seth meyers podcast. Youll get a closer look and more downloaded right to your phone. Fran grenier. New jersey born and raised. Like his father before him, he served our country with honor in the navy. Came home and worked his way up from floor technician to supervisor at the salem power plant. As a husband and father, grenier knows how families struggle to make ends meet. Thats why hell fight to cut our taxes, and stand up to career politicians like steve sweeney. If we want to change trenton, theres only one way. Fran grenier. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to Gerard Butler seth, seth. Seth no. Will you look at me . Seth Patton Oswalt, joe russo, and of course, the 8g band. It was easy. Seth stay tuned for carson daly. See you tomorrow. No, i dont want to do it again. [ cheers and applause ] im carson daly. Youv tuned into nbc late night, we appreciate it. Hi