Transcripts For WRC Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170504

Oh, you should have told me. Ships in the night. [ light laughter ] fbi director james comey testified before congress today, and said that it makes him mildly nauseous to think that his actions might have affected the election. Of course, that might just be from all that time he spent looking at Anthony Weiners laptop. [ laughter ] President Trump said yesterday that fbi director james comey is the best thing that ever happened to Hillary Clinton. Thats ridiculous. Everybody knows the best thing that ever happened to Hillary Clinton is balloons. [ laughter and applause ] according according to a new politico poll, 48 of voters approve of the job President Trump is doing. Of course, a lot of them think that job is plus sized golf shirt model. [ laughter ] announced that they plan on cutting leg room in economy class, while United Airlines announced theyll be cutting legs. [ laughter and applause ] we are coming down with the beverage cart [ laughter ] get your legs out of the aisle Vice President mike pence will host a Cinco De Mayo celebration tomorrow, where guests can play festive games like pin the crime on the immigrant. [ audience oohs ] [ light laughter ] yeah, how do you think they feel . [ laughter ] thats right, mike pence will host a Cinco De Mayo celebration. Hes even bringing along the white house pinata. [ laughter and applause ] thank you. Our good friend spicey. According n will not release a new iphone this year, but unfortunately theyre also not going to release the children who build them. [ audience oohs ] [ light laughter ] i dont know how i thought it was gonna go. [ laughter ] scientists have published a video of the first recorded evidence of wild cuddle fish fighting each other over a mate. Catch it all this season on real housewives of atlantis. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, according to a new report baby boomers drink more alcohol than any other agegroup. They drink to drown out the sound of the millennials living in their basement. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. From guardians of the galaxy vol. 2 chris pratt is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] girls and her new health and wellness book the total metox is out now, beth behrs is back, with us. [ cheers and applause ] im very excited about this, we have the founder and ceo of vice media and host of the emmy winning news magazine series vice on hbo, shane smith is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] before we get to all of that, we didnt have enough time to cover all of the recent news, so here with a recap is one of our writers amber ruffin in a segment we call amber says what. [ cheers and applause ] horray hey, seth. A lot has been going on. Okay first of all, the new faceapp had everybody like what . So, i used it and made myself an old lady and i was like what [ laughter ] then i made myself a boy and i was like, what are you doing later . [ light laughter ] has the lowest Approval Ratings of any president at 100 days. I was like, what . Then Serena Williams won the Australian Open pregnant. And everyone was like, what . [ light laughter ] but i was like, what . [ light laughter ] she could have beat that woman during labor. [ laughter ] then beyonce won a peabody award for lemonade and i was like, what . But then my friend said, no, adele actually won it. And i was like what . Then she was like, just kidding. And i was like what in the hell, amanda . [ laughter ] dont do that to me. I am still very upset about the grammys. Then a bunch of people a bunch of women came forward accusing bill oreilly of sexual harassment, and i was like then, a bunch more came forward, and i was like [ light laughter ] then bill oreilly got fired and the women got a total of 13 million. [ cheers and applause ] what, what . Then bill oreilly got 25 million and i was like, what, what . [ light laughter ] oh, i almost forgot. I put seths face in the faceapp and i was like, what . This has been amber says what. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] seth thank you, amber, for showing us all what a beautiful woman i would make. [ light laughter ] moving on, fbi director james comey reemerged today to publicly defend his Decision Making in the run up to the 2016 election. Meanwhile, republicans in Congress Move closer to passing their disastrous Health Care Bill. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth while, republicans were scrambling behind the scenes today to get their Health Care Bill through the house, comey was testifying in the senate defending his decision to announce 11 days before the elec t reopening the investigation into Hillary Clintons emails. First, he took us through the discovery of those emails, mentioning a name you might be familiar with. October 27th, the Investigative Team that had finished the investigation in july, focused on secretary clintons emails asked to meet with me. And they laid out for me what they could see from the metadata on this fella, Anthony Weiners laptop. Seth this fella, Anthony Weiner . [ light laughter ] you know who he is. Also, that sounds like the beginning of a vaudeville routine. You see, there was this fella, Anthony Weiner. And he liked to take pictures of his ding dong. [ laughter ] now comey violated a long standing policy by interfering in the election, and today he tried to defend that decision. Although, im not sure his explanation was all that convincing. I faced a choice. And ive lived my entire career by the tradition that if you can possibly avoid it, you avoid any action in the run up to an election that might have an impact. Whether its a dog catcher election or president of the united states. But i sat there that morning and i could not see a door labeled no action here. I could see two doors, and they were both actions. One was labeled speak and the other was labeled conceal. Seth and donald trump said dont open conceal. Thats where i keep my tax returns. [ laughter ] and where i try to keep eric, but he keeps getting out. [ laughter and applause ] now, as we all know by now, comey chose speak over conceal, and today, he argued that anyone who disagreed with that with that decision, should put themselves in his shoes, and think about what they would have done in that moment 11 days before the election. Everybody who disagrees with me has to come back to october 28th with me. Seth wait you know how to get back to october 28th . [ laughter ] well then, fire up the delorean bro, because i need to buy someone a ticket to wisconsin and michigan. [ laughter and applause ] so that that was what was going on in the senate. Meanwhile, over in the house, republicans were frantically votes, for their latest attempt to repeal and replace obamacare. And apparently, trump was getting involved in the effort as well. Right now its down to the wire on capitol hill. Where republicans are scrambling to get votes for their revamped health care plan. This morning, theyre considering making additional changes to the bill, hoping to win over enough holdouts to finally, push this over the finish line. President trump said of health care quote, that he is doing the best i can. Seth at least trump is finally saying something i actually believe. I do believe that this is the best he can do. [ light laughter ] seems like part of whats motivating trump to push for this Health Care Bill again, is his frustration with the fact that so far he hasnt been able to get any of his major legislative priorities through a congress controlled by his own party. At a White House Photo op with members of the air force Academy Football team tuesday, trump went off on a rant about obamacare, and suggested he missed the days when he didnt have to deal with the realities of governing. There is no long term bailout for the Insurance Companies that to subsidize, donors, the badly failing obamacare. Do you know what a donor is, fellows . [ light laughter ] youll learn when you get a little older. Youll learn about donors. Seth hey man, they know what donors are. [ light laughter ] theyre air force cadets, not space cadets. [ laughter and applause ] in fact trump trump seems to be discovering every day that the deals he promised to make as a candidate arent quite as easy as he thought theyd be. And it isnt just trump whos been flailing. Paul ryan and the Republican Congress have had seven years to come up with a plan to replace obamacare, and they had nothing. The whole thing is like the suitcase of a kid who says hes running away from home. It looks like he has a plan, but if you open that suitcase up, all youre going to find is some loose legos and a sleeve of ritz crackers. [ laughter ] so now, in a scramble to come up with something, anything, that will pass, trump and the gop have worse to appeal to hardline conservatives. This new bill would allow states to waive out of obamacares ban on preexisting conditions. In a recent study found that premiums would rise for people with asthma by 4,000, diabetes by more than 5,000, and pregnancy by 17,000. So basically, in order to afford having a baby, that baby would have to immediately get a job. [ laughter ] and i dont have to tell you this, babies have no skill sets. [ light laughter ] the only job my 1yearold would be qualified for is guy who drops bananas on the floor. [ light laughter ] now, trump has claimed, falsely, that the bill guarantees coverage for preexisting conditions, which it does not. And yet, he also said that he doesnt want the federal government dealing with health care at all and wants to leave it to the states instead. We ultimately want to get it back down to the is it a guarantee . Look cause if you hurt your knee, honestly, id rather have the federal government focused on north korea, focused on other things than your knee. Okay . Ha as your back is. Seth why does he think the federal government was focused on peoples backs . [ light laughter ] is it because he saw joe biden giving out all those shoulder rubs . [ laughter ] now if this Health Care Bill seems like a mess to you, youre not alone. Which may be why the Trump White House is trying to assure voters they have everything under control. In fact, yesterday, trump budget director mick mulvaney, took questions about the budget deal republicans and democrats hammered out. And when asked what the message of the budget deal was, mulvaney said this i think the message that were sending, is that we are competent. We know what were doing. And the country is safe in our hands. Seth its not reassuring when the government has to tell you, we know what were doing. [ light laughter ] thats like a doctor telling his patient, relax. I went to medical school. [ laughter ] now nurse, hand me the sharp knifey thingy. [ light laughter ] now one thing this budget did accomplish, thankfully, was extending a Health Care Program for coal miners. Mulvaney championed that as a victory for trump, but also admitted that they had used the program as leverage, to get favorites the democrats walked out of the room and said they protected the Miners Health, okay . So did the president. The president is asking me, since the day i got here, for a way to fix the Miners Health health issue problems that they have in appalachia. And we were simply waiting for the opportunity to give it, as part of a bipartisan discussion, so that we could get something in return. Seth so he just admitted they used the health of americas coal miners as a bargaining chip. Mulvaney sounds like a bond villain who explains his plan while bond escapes. [ light laughter ] you see, the coal miners were merely a pawn, mr. Bond. And now it is time for you to where did he go . [ light laughter ] oh, no now if that all sounds bad to you, i have a feeling the white house agreed, because mulvaneys appearance, White House Press secretary sean spicer, was supposed to take questions, but instead he just walked out leaving the press corps to shout his name. Where that wall is from exactly, so we can identify location . Appreciate it. Thank you so much. [ talking over each other ] sean . Hey, Sean Sean Sean come on, sean no sean. Seth come on, sean [ laughter ] sean, come on dont take the basketball home, Sean Sean Spicer must hear that sound in his nightmares. Hey, sean no, Sean Sean Sean come on, sean seth remember 5. 1 Million People at the inauguration [ light laughter ] so if youre a trump supporter, how do you make sense of these constant contradictions on things Like Health Care policy . Well, let former Republican Congressman and trump supporting radio host joe walsh explain his technique. As a trump supporter, i do my best not to Pay Attention to what he says. Seth there you go. [ laughter and applause ] there you go. He just he just doesnt listen to what the president says. Trump supporters are basically in an open marriage with him. He does his thing. I do my thing. We dont talk about it. And once a month we get together for a rally and it works. [ light laughter ] but as muddled as the gop message is on health care, i do think there is actually one theme that is starting to come through clearly. You see, part of the problem for republicans is that theyre trying to hide a core truth about their bill, as well as a core truth about republican ideology, which is that they simply dont think its governments job to ensure that people get Affordable Health care. Normally, they dont admit that openly, but on monday alabama congressman mo brooks, a hardline conservative, admitted in a moment of honesty, that he has no problem with people with preexisting conditions paying more for their health insurance. My understanding is that it will allow Insurance Companies to require people who have Higher Health care costs to contribute more to the insurance pool that helps offset all these costs, thereby reducing the cost to those people who lead good lives, theyre healtyo know, theyve done the things to keep their bodies healthy. And right now, those are the people who have done things the right way that are seeing their costs skyrocketing. Seth people who lead good lives . So what does that mean . People who are sick lead bad lives . If that were really how it worked, donald trump would have died three years before he was born. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] so thats thats why the Gop Health Care message is so muddled. In reality, they just dont believe the government should make sure people get health care. But they cant come out and admit that, because its not a very popular opinion. So they lie, which raises the question, how can Trump Supporters believe him . I do my best not to Pay Attention to what he says. [ light laughter ] seth good idea. This has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with more late night everybody. [ cheers and applause ] the average familys hectic home and an entrepreneur named sharon. Its witnessed 31 crashes, 4 food fights, and the flood of 09. Its your paradise perfected with behr premium plus low odor paint. The best you can buy starting under 25. Unbelievable quality. 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Shsale this weekend family for mom like diamond earrings for only 39. 99 take an extra 20 off a ninja coffee bar and new sandals are just 11. 99. Youll get kohls cash too kohls. Ahyou the law . Weve had some complaints of. Is that a fire . Theres your payoff, deputy. Git velveeta shells cheese. Theres gold in them thar shells. [ cheers and applause ] seth you know our first guest tonight from his work on the nbc hit Parks Recreation and the films Jurassic World and guardians of the galaxy. He returns as peter quill, aka star lord, in the highlyanticipated guardians of the galaxy vol. 2, which is in theaters and imax 3d friday. Lets take a look. Sorry if it seemed like i was flirting with the high priestess. I wasnt. I dont care if you were. Well, i feel like you do care so sorry gamora is not the one for you, quill. There are two types of beings in the universe. Those who dance, and those who do not. Mmhmm. Mmhmm. I first met my beloved at a war rally. Oh, god. Everyone in the village flailed about dancing except one woman. My hovat. I knew immediately she was the one for me. The most melodic song in the world could be playing. She wouldnt even tap her foot. [ light laughter ] wouldnt move a muscle. One might assume she was dead. [ laughter ] does sound pretty hot. Seth please welcome back to the show our friend chris pratt, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth nobody that fast. Yeah. [ cheers ] im sorry, guys. Well do it again next time. Seth welcome back, buddy. Thank you, thank you. Seth congrats. Im so excited for another chapter in this film. Yeah. Seth and really exciting kurt russell plays your dad. Kurt russell plays my dad seth i mean, thats the best. It is the best. Seth you got to play catch with him in the film. Yeah seth you played it was not its like an energy ball, its not right, its not its not a baseball, which would be fitting because he played professional baseball. Seth he did. He was like a Minor League Baseball player. Hes the hes yeah. Hes the ultimate mans man. I asked him to be my real dad, and, uh [ laughter ] its pretty cool. Seth howd it go . Did he answer . Did he give you an answer . He got it was a little weird. Little weird. [ light laughter ] waiting to hear back. Not super hopeful. Seth gotcha. Now, what were you playing with in this did you actually ever because i would be intimidated to throw a baseball to somebody who actually is good at it. Yeah, right. Well, we were using this prop softball. And we essentially played catch seth gotcha. All day long. Seth and how was your throwing game . Is it okay . You know, its not as good as his, but it was but, uh, i held i did okay. Seth okay, thats good. I did all right, i feel like. Yeah, it was i played a little bit of baseball growing up. I was certainly no, you know, major League Baseball player, Minor League Baseball player. I played in the Minor Leagues in little league. Seth okay, there you go. [ laughter ] but yeah. I dont know if that counts. Seth thats when its lil, apostrophe. Thats the Minor Leagues. Yeah, yeah. Lil league. [ light laughter ] seth so, and you did some not just throwing, you did some other stunts in the film, right . Yeah oh, yeah. Its a really stuntheavy movie. Through the course of the whole film, everyone i mean, we were suspended from wires, we did a whole, a whole bunch of stunts. And seth all go good . Not necessarily. [ laughter ] yeah, no. [ laughter ] i i got my bell rung pretty good one time. Seth all right. Got essentially knocked out. Seth to the point that you would not do your own stunts again, or oh, no. No, no, no. Seth you just ket you know, actually, to be honest with you, i am getting to that point now in my my wife is actually credit for this, where its like, you gotta you gotta stop doing that. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] because stunt people are way better than me at it. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. I cant im getting bumps and bruises and theyre lasting much longer. Like, you know, maybe for the rest of my life. Those kinds of things. [ laughter ] and i gotta be careful of these things. Seth also, i didnt even think of that. The stunt guys must not be psyched when you show up and want to do their job for the day. No, i dont think so. I think that, you know, i you always want to let them do a version of it, cause its my understanding they get, like, bumps for doing stunts. So if you go in there and try to do it yourself, youre kind of taking away their job. And usually when you do it, its for your own ego, and they let you do that. And then the stunt person comes in and does it and thats what theyre gonna use in the movie. Seth right, yeah. [ laughter ] so its just another way for us actors to feed our ego. [ laughter ] seth there you go. Because there arent enough. Seth not only kurt russell, stallone. Sylvester stallone is in the film. Stallone tango and cash. Seth tango and cash. In the same movie seth that m if thats not enough reason to make you go to this movie seth yeah. Then you are not my friend. Seth there you go. [ laughter ] that is that was my childhood growing up. And coincidentally, you know, the childhood of peter quill. Its really his whole ideology is based on these pop icons from that 80s era, and sly stallone and kurt russell . I mean, those guys had such, such an influence on my childhood. Seth yeah. They for me, they just every time i think of those two guys, especially tango and cash, i just think of a blockbuster video. And just like that yeah. Seth everything they did was a trip to the video store and being so excited to have it and be able to go home and watch it. Oh, completely. Yeah. Stallone . I mean, stallone. From, you know, tango and cash and lock up and movies like that. Seth yeah. And you know, of course rocky, but rambo. That was, for me, rambo . Seth rambo is the big film . Rambo was my yeah. That was that made me who i am today i think. Seth really . Yes [ laughter ] seth how did [ cheers and applause ] dude. Any rambo fans out there . [ cheers and applause ] oh. I had a survival knife. Seth really . Yeah. Seth thats interesting you said that, because when you said you were into rambo, the kids i knew who were into rambo were the kind of guys who would also have a knife. [ light laughter ] yeah, we did. It was like, the survival knife. And you unscrew the top compass. Seth oh, thats right. To get you so you can navigate your way to safety. Seth uhhuh. [ light laughter ] and waterproof matches. Little fish hook and some line. Just in case you were stuck out in the woods for a long time. Youre gonna catch diner. Seth oh, wow. Yeah. A sewing kit, should you fall off a cliff and cut your arm the way he did in first blood. Youre gonna sew that back together. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and that wont get infected. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] sitting next to the fish hook and your rusty knife. [ laughter ] super cool. Seth yeah, the original draft of rambo was all about the infection he got. Yeah, yeah. He died. Seth he died right away. Yeah, it didnt test well. Seth no, it didnt. Nobody liked it. Yeah. Seth i want to talk you know, obviously youre in this situation where you meet people that you looked up to. You were a huge tim mcgraw fan. Yeah. Seth fantastic country singer, country songwriter. Yeah. Seth one of the nicest with. And you got a chance to meet him. Yeah, i did. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] theres a tim mcgraw fan. Yeah. Tim mcgraw, tim and faith, theyre awesome. Yeah, im a Big Country Music fan and a huge fan of tim mcgraw. I did meet him i have his cologne. Seth okay, see, i didnt even know he had a cologne. Yeah. Southern blend, its really good if you get a chance. Get some. Its nice. Ana loves it. She always knows if i put a little southern blend on, shes gonna have to endure some lovemaking later. [ laughter ] seth okay. And we went to the oscars. And and it was such an amazing night. Starstudded night, and theres tim mcgraw. And im just starstruck, you know . Theres tim and faith, and i keep glancing at them. And we stayed through the whole show, and at the end, everyones filing out and, similar to you guys here tonight, at the oscars, theres audience members, and then there are people who were invited in to present or because theyre getting awards, or theyre nominated for an award. So maybe 95 of the people are fans. Theyre just people excited to be there. Now thats you know, im were filing out, were getting closer and closer. Im like, this is my chance to talk to tim mcgraw. [ laughter ] and he catches me staring at him a few times, and i say he had performed a song that night. I said, hey, tim. Thats a great song tonight. Hes like, thank you. And he kind of, like, im going to avoid you. You might be a weirdo. [ laughter ] and i said, and just a huge fan. Huge fan of both you guys. Thank you, thank you. I said, im wearing your cologne. [ laughter and applause ] and uh im not sure if he was just like, being polite. But he was like, aw, thank you. [ laughter ] and then there was that moment, i was like, oh no im wearing your cologne . Oh, no really gutwrenching embarrassing. So seth i want to finish up by talking about your rock star son jack. Yeah. Seth and this is a photo of jack. This you guys went to tokyo . Yes, we went to tokyo. [ audience aws ] thats a real live snake. Seth where did he come across a snake in tokyo . They have the most amazing cafes in tokyo. They have reptile cafes, owl cafes, kitty cat cafes, bunny cafes. You go and eat food at the cafe, and you pet animals the whole time. Seth wow. Because apparently you cant sue if you get salmonella. [ laughter ] i dont know. But yeah, he went and he was holding this snake in one hand and just eating a sandwich in the other hand. Seth wow. And did he have any hesitation or was he fully brave the whole time . So brave. The whole time. And he told me, he said, dad, i cant believe i got to hold a poisonous snake. I was like, you thought that was poisonous . [ laughter ] he was so brave about it. Its amazing. You thought there was a chance it was poisonous . [ laughter ] awesome, kid. Seth yeah. Yeah. I need to warn him, because there are rattlesnakes in southern california. Seth yeah. Like, you just cant pick up a snake when you grab a sandwhich. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. Beware. Seth now i feel like hes like, thats the only way i can eat. Sorry, dad. You shouldnt have taken me there. [ laughter ] i have to have a snake when i have my sandwich. Congrats on everything. Thanks, seth. Seth always good to see you, chris. Always good. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] seth chris pratt, everybody. Guardians of the galaxy vol. 2 is in theaters and imax 3d everywhere friday. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] percent of recurrent could be prevented with the right steps. And take it from me, every step counts. A bayer aspirin regimen is one of those steps in helping prevent another stroke. Be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. Its a very simple procedure, mr. Diaz. Were just going to make one small incision here, then were gonna go in and remove your 67 corvette. My vette . Its just a gall bladder you dont have. Aflac paying you cash, so you might have to sell that sweet little muscle machine just to cover your rent. More funny juice. But my papa gave me. That. Car. What do you wish you had . Aflac. Ohh, i love doing that. Health can change, but the life you love doesnt have to. Keep your lifestyle healthy with aflac its like nothing the power of nexium 24hr protection from frequent heartburn. All day, and all night. Now packed into a pill so small, we call it mini. New clearminis from nexium 24hr. See heartburn differently. Lets[ whimpers ] dog. Find pingpong. Find your awesome with the xfinity x1 voice remote. Thats amazing [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Please give it up for the 8g band, right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also with us tonight and all week, he is the highly regarded drummer from the brooklyn based band, paris monster, whose latest single aint no moving me can be found on itunes, and bandcamp. Com, josh dion, everybody. Thank you so much. Thank you. Seth our next guest is a very funny and talented actress you know from the hit show, two broke girls. Her health and wellness book, the total metox, is available in stores now. Please welcome back to the show, beth behrs, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] hello there im so happy to be back with you. Last time you were just an actress and now youre an author. Oh my gosh, just hearing you say that that makes me have a panic attack. Seth do you feel like an author now that you finished a book . No, i still feel like a actresscomedian. [ light laughter ] but i did love writing the book. I mean i wanted it to be funny and approachable. And i mean, i was, you know, a nanny sharing a one bedroom when i got too broke and two broke girls too broke, thats the slang. Seth is that i guess we find out what you guys call it behind the scenes. Yes, and you know, i was eating like a 10yearold boy, two sugar donuts a day, funnel cakes for lunch. Like no joke, anything across service doritos. Whatever i could get my hands on. And i got, no joke, like a game of thrones greyscale rash all over my body. It was very attractive in that waitress uniform. Seth you just got like a rash from eating bad . Well, it was from deeprooted stress. My whole world changed. I went from, you know, nanny to then full time, as you know when you get a big tv job, your whole stress level changes. Seth its so funny, i will say, i hope the parents that you were a nanny of ar stress to take care of my kids . I never thought of that, but i love you guys. Seth it was like, i was just taking care of the wellbeing of children, but now it was a t. V. Show. They were actually awesome. And one of the girls just went to prom, and i like cried seeing her instagram, cause like i knew them when they were kids. Anyways. I, yeah, and so my doctor basically said like you have to stop eating two sugar donuts a day and you need to exercise. And then i learned transcendental meditation and i sort of changed my life slowly. And im still a work in progress. And so this is sort of my journey. Seth and this is sort of healthy eating, and healthy lifestyle, but not very serious. Healthy but also right. Its like still like, you know, i didnt know where kale was in the Grocery Store until i was 25. I didnt try it until 27. Seth where did you think it was . [ laughter ] because i didnt eat a lot of kale, but i think i knew where to find it. [ laughter ] if i tried, i thought about it. But i also like thought serrano peppers were shishito peppers and ate like seven of them one night, thinking, oh i just got another hot one. And then my lovely fiance was seth oh wow. So theres lots more stories like that. Im not martha yet. Im trying to be. Seth one of the things you mentioned, you in college, this is fantastic, you spent a ton of time with joan rivers. I did. Seth who strikes me as a person that would be excellent to spend a lot of time with. She, first of all, i miss her so much. I mean, i love her. Seth yeah. They hired me. I worked at the geffen playhouse, which is the theater, a great theater in los angeles all throughout college. And they hired me. She liked to run her lines. She was like such a hard worker. She like to run lines every single day before the show. And so i would go over to her house and she would have like no makeup on and shed be like a grandma and be like what do you want for breakfast . And then she would make me eggs. And she was so sweet. Like she would, you know, have if someone was giving her a pedicure manicure, she would say bring another one to do beth too. And go pick out some jewelry. I mean she literally was the kindest person ever, and this was before i was on two broke girls. So she also had like lots of funny advice that i have not taken yet. Seth what is a good piece of joan rivers advice . She told me, the main thing that i actually think about doing all the time but i havent done yet is she told me to trip on the red carpet full on in front of [ laughter ] seth uhhuh. In front of anyone that is more famous than me which is mostly everybody. [ light laughter ] and i i thought to myself this is like she said thats how you get in the media the next day. Your picture is everywhere. You tripped in front of beyonce. Seth oh, my goodness. Youre the girl who tripped in front of beyonce. Do you think Jennifer Lawrence talked to joan rivers . [ laughter ] oh, my god. And shes Jennifer Lawrence. I could have been in the hunger games. Seth thats who was running lines before you got that job. [ light laughter ] she was so not she was the kindest person. Seth yeah, its one of those real delights where you see somebody whos, you know, very the persona, yeah. Seth on stange and then theyre just so loving and kind. The best. Seth that is really cool you got to spend time with her. The last time you were here you were doing a show in new york. I was. Subway and i said that means you dont live here. Exactly. [ light laughter ] seth now youre back. I am. Seth how have you are you still having a love affair with our subway system . I do not like the subway. Recently, this new york trip i was on the subway, and it was just me and another lovely man. He looked lovely. And i dont know how we were in the train alone, the car alone. But we were. And i dont know if he just decided i looked like a nice person and wouldnt say anything because i didnt, but he covered one side of his nostril and he released the other side on the subway. I had a sweater on. I literally, i wanted a surgical mask. I like went home and showered and didnt go to dinner. Didnt go to my dinner plans. Like i, yeah. As a hypochondriac, i dont like the subway. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] and as a human cause like seth you must have been so excited last time, to be in love with it as a hypocondriac. I just it didnt bother me because i was like. New york subway and dream. And now im like, ahh subway seth and the amount of new york dreams that have been shot down by snot rockets. [ laughter ] i cannot tell you. Snot rocket . I was like, how do i delicately say what he did . Expended his and youre like, snot rocket. Seth yeah, no, please. Its 12 30 at night, nobody cares. Nobody cares, yeah. Hey, thank you so much for being here. Congrats on the book. Thank you. Thanks so much. Seth good to see you again. You too. [ cheers and applause ] seth beth behrs, everybody. The total metox is available in stores now. Well be back with shane smith. [ cheers and applause ] you never know whatll inspire you. The rhythm of the waves. The language, the laughter. Or the noise in the night. It all back. Experience moe as a member. The marriott portfolo has 30 brands in over 110 countries so no matter where you go, you are here. Atyou dont have to choose just one thing. Choose your trio with any 3 of 9 selections for 15. 99. Like new creamy lobster pasta toasted parmesan shrimp and southernstyle crab cakes. Come create your trio before it ends. A 10speed directshift 5. 0transmission. Ine. A meticulously crafted interior. 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Our next guest is the founder and ceo of vice media. He hosts the emmy winning news magazine series, vice, which airs friday nights on hbo. Please welcome to the show shane smith, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth im very happy to you have here, shane. Im very happy to be here. Seth you live one of the more exciting globe trotting lives of anyone i know. You recently posted this photo of you falconing. Yes. Seth where are you falconing here . In the desert. Seth in the desert in . Abudabi. Seth in abudabi. So how there we go, some abudabi in the house. Where, how does a what sort of happens to lead you into the middle of the desert to falconing . Well were launching vice in the middle east. Our launch party and said would you like to go falconing . Seth your life rules. [ laughter ] so i said sure. And so i went out and we went out to the desert. And it was actually the royal familys falconing area. Seth uhhuh, sure. And so they give you a falcon. And you know, it goes off and it catches things and comes back. Seth does it bring you the thing it catches . Yeah. Theyre trained. Theyre like dogs. They, you know, they train them. Its true. [ light laughter ] the one guy, the one falcon that i fell in love with, sat next, like in the car like a dog. [ laughter ] and so theres just this falcon. And they literally can just they go and they open up the thing and they go and it shoots out the top of the car. And then it flies off and it gets the bird or rabbit or whatever and then it comes back and comes back. Seth thats fantastic. Yeah, yeah. Seth do you think youre gonna get in to it full time . Yeah, i want one. Seth yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] what was your falcons name . Did it have a name . They had long names, but there in arabic so im not seth right. There you go. You just call them like jack. [ light laughter ] yeah. Cutie pie or. Seth cutie pie, thats a good one. Lovie lovie. Seth right. You know that lovie lovie is a really mean name for whatever bird its killing and bringing back something for you. Yeah. Seth oh no, here comes lovie lovey. [ light laughter ] youve been to north korea twice, correct . Yeah. Seth youve recorded from inside north korea . Yeah. Seth what is it like to be there . Are you familiar with acid . Seth well, yeah, a little. [ light laughter ] its like being on acid. Its a combination of going back in time to sort of stalinist russia or maoist china. Sort of cult of personality, you know, utopian society and just bull goose lunacy. Like just sheer craziness. Seth and how do i mean are you sort of how low a profile do you have to keep when youre there . The first time i was there we were shooting on cyber shots like on a point and shoot little cameras. To shoot, so we were like, im just going to take a picture. And when we left, they open the camera and said why do you have a 5 gig card instead of a 38 meg card which is the standard issue. And were like, oh, god, were caught. But before we left, we had met these generals in the only hotel which actually had a casino and we got drunk on blueberry wine and they said and they said, you can come back. And because they invited us back, we got to shoot the arirang games, which are the 150,000 people in the largest stadium in the world. And theyre like, i dont know if anyones seen it, but its like human pixels. You know they have and they do the whole history of korea. Seth oh right. So theyre holding up signs, yeah. So there is 150,000 people doing it. And theres just you. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] just pouring down blueberry wine and watching the show. And you were instrumental in bringing Dennis Rodman to north korea. Yes, so they have the hall of and they have all the treasures that were given to kim ilsung over his lifetime. So they have a train like 20 stories down in the mountain that stalin gave him. And a car that mao gave him and stuff. And prominently placed is a basketball signed by Michael Jordan. And basketball is the biggest sport in north korea. You wouldnt have thought that but it is. And they love the bulls. [ light laughter ] so we because of the magic basketball. In the hall of treasures. And so, we so i was like okay. Well just call the bulls and well go over. Seth yeah. And so surprisingly enough, Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen didnt want to go. [ laughter ] seth they didnt want to go to north korea, yeah. You said are you familiar with acid and they hung up. [ laughter ] yeah, and so but Dennis Rodman said sure. Seth he strikes me as the bull that would say yes. [ light laughter ] hes up for anything. Seth yeah, sure. And so he said yes and we g and they went over and they played a game. And kim jongun showed up and then we stayed and shot a documentary for the next week. And then we actually shot a documentary showing a side of north korea that nobody sees. And we were actually just there. We were just there on two weeks ago when they were sort of announcing the new rockets. Seth wow. So you now have enough of a relationship that you can get over there and yeah. Seth you bring Dennis Rodman to a party and all of a sudden, the door is open. [ light laughter youre in. Seth so i want to ask you about this, cause you have a couple shows. You have a weekly vice show and you have a daily vice show. Yeah. Seth and i feel like theres this idea about millennial audiences that they like things in very small pieces and they have a very short attention span. But you have found with your program that is very popular with that demographic that thats not the case. They actually do have the time if youre telling a story thats interesting enough. Yeah, we actually started vice news on youtube. And they told us, look, young people dont care about news. It has to be short and it has to be snackable. And so we said great. And so we made long documentaries about north korea and sort of west africa and we had the highest engagement time on all of youtube. So people were watching it for like, you know, 24 minutes at a time. And generally, they were doing 2 minutes. So then when we ported it over to hbo, everyone said, look, young people dont care about news and they especially dont care about international news, and they really, you know, has to be short for them. So we do long form documentary and its doing great. Seth yeah, and not just here, is it 80 countries now . Is that where youre setting up . Vice is now in 80 countries. Seth thats amazing. Yeah, thats too many. Seth yeah, well theres more to go. You get to go falconing, you get to lots of funs stuff. Seth yeah you get to falconing. Again, like i said, your life is a lot cooler than mine. Ive never been in a party where north korean generals have said, you want blueberry wine . , and the next thing i know im in a stadium. [ light laughter ] so yeah, im pretty jealous. But thank you for making time for us. I appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] shane smith, everybody. Vice airs friday nights on hbo. Well be right back. The new galaxy s8 has the worlds first infinity screen, which makes your world infinitely bigger. A camera fast enough to catch this, and intelligent enough to understand what it sees. It connects you to home, and takes you anywhere you can imagine, which makes it infinitely amazing. Shsale this weekend family and take an extra 20 off sale prices on a great gift for mom like diamond earrings for only 39. 99 take an extra 20 off a ninja coffee bar and new sandals are just 11. 99. Youll get kohls cash too kohls. New degree ultraclearnt saving black white. Othes. No yellow stains on white clothes. No white marks on black clothes. New degree ultraclear black white. It wont let you down. Classic hersheys outside. With a new creamy, crunchy inside. New hersheys cookie layer crunch. Classic reimagined. Where did we find the inspiration for our new flavors . It walked right in the door. Introducing new signature crafted recipes. Pico guacamole. Sweet barbecue bacon. Maple bacon dijon. You bring your flavor to the world. We bring ours to you. I aibeat or cheat or compemistreat you simplify you, classify you deny, defy or crucify you all i really wanna do is, baby, be friends with you if yits usually because you were driving too fast or you didnt look before you turned or you didnt stop for someone in the crosswalk. Always be alert. Pedestrians dont come with airbags. For more late night go to latenightseth. Com. Follow us on instagram and twitter latenightseth. And be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook. Head over to itunes to subscribe to the late night with seth meyers podcast. Youll get a closer look and more downloaded right to your phone everyday. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to chris pratt, beth behrs, shane smith everybody. Josh dion, and of course, the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] carson whats happening, folks . My names carson daly. This fine program here is last call. Youve tuned in. Thank you very much. The rundown for tonight is superstore star, lauren ash,