Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20161222

For the show, right . Thats very nice. We all appreciate it. This is our last show before the new year. I have to say, it is weird that 2016 was only one year, i feel at least five years older than i did last year. So much arguing and fighting. People keep saying, i cant wait for 2016 to be over. But 2017, that isnt looking so great either. [ laughter ] like the movie alien. 2016 may have been the moment when the alien attached itself to our face, but 2017 is when it rips its way out of our stomachs and tears the ship apart. [ laughter ] and as if 2016 wasnt difficult enough, we get news today that [ laughter ] i know, just when you thought it couldnt get worse. America, apparently, theres a shortage of nitrous oxide. There was an explosion in august at a nitrous oxide factory in well, florida, of course. [ laughter ] where else do you think they make it . [ laughter ] and as a result, they dont have enough gas to put it in the cans. They have plenty of cream, theyre just low on whip. [ laughter ] and this is especially troubling, because in boston, they just legalized marijuana for recreational use. [ cheers and applause ] theyll have nothing to put on their cream pies. [ laughter ] so we are in a tailspin, folks. Theres no end in sight. I dont know if i want to live in a world if i cant stand in front of my refrigerator doing this. Dont tell my wife i do that. In front of the refrigerator. The good news is, we have a new star wars movie to look forward to, rogue one a star wars story. Late tonight. Its a huge budget movie, expected to make a lot of money. They say it might make millions. [ laughter ] but bob iger, the ceo of disney, the company who made rogue one, also our boss announced today, we had a great year, made a lot of money, so only go see it if you want to. Isnt that refreshing . [ laughter ] this is pretty good. Our local kcal news in l. A. Did a story about star wars related activities coming out in advance of the movie. They were refreshingly honest too. Battling with light sabres, bringing star wars to life. The weekend jedi are members of americas 12 sabre guilds, staging performances and training young padawans, all to benefit various Charities Across the country and pass on the force. Kcal 9 news. I think thats jedi shaming. [ laughter ] one of the exciting things about rogue one, darth vader is in it. But this is interesting. Apparently, the original darth vader costume went missing. They had to replace it with a piece of star wars brand merchandise, which i think looks just as good if not better. The world is coming undone. Imperial flags reign across the galaxy. Every day, they grow stronger. The empire will triumph. The rebellion will be toast. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you know what, toast does have a dark side. So anyway, rogue one is the new star wars movie and another one will come out next year and every year after that so long as the human race exists. Meanwhile in real life. You know how the cia came out and said they believe russia was specifically trying to get trump elected when they hacked the democrats and released all their private emails. Now senior u. S. Intelligence Officials Say the russian attempts to interfere with our election were personally directed by Vladimir Putin himself. Which i have to say its nice that putin would do that for trump. Those are the kind of things that best friends do for each other. [ laughter ] but putin has denied any involvement at all, and he seems like a pretty straight shooter, so i think we should trust him on that. [ laughter ] not only that, the russian government is strongly denying another report, this one from the fbi, that Vladimir Putin is Donald Trumps secret santa. [ laughter ] but it turns out, trump was right all along, the election was rigged. [ laughter ] last night on the show, we gave out an award for clip of the year. This was the best clip of 2016. What im about to show you, had it been released a little bit earlier, may have qualified for that final five. This is a video that was posted on facebook, happened at a gas station in mobile, alabama. You may have seen it already, it has like 10 million views on facebook. If you havent, just stick with it until the end, because theres a twist. Get on the ground get on the ground now get on the ground get on the ground who are you . Im his wife. Get his gun from him, get his gun from him. I will. Back up, i will get it. I will get it. Back up. Come here. I will get it from him. [ cheers and applause ] i guess youre not his wife just yet. Brian this is the bestworst Marriage Proposal possibly, probably ever. What do you think she said, yes or no . She said yes. Which is not what i would have said in that situation, but we tracked the couple in the video down, and joining us now on our big cisco screen, the wall of america, from mobile, alabama, please say hello to the Daiwon Mcpherson and shawna blackmon. Hi, guys. How you doing . Jimmy i want to say congratulations to you on your engagement. Thank you so much. Jimmy and i also would like to ask, shawna, why would you marry this crazy, crazy man . Well, for him to be as crazy as he is, i have to be just as crazy to be with him. Jimmy oh, okay. So this is something that did not upset you . You didnt afterwards go, what the hell is wrong with you . No. Jimmy and how did you come up with this insane idea . Well, she was all the inspiration i needed. [ laughter ] i wanted to get the ultimate reaction from her. Jimmy were there other ideas that you rejected . [ laughter ] yes. Jimmy worse than that one . No. [ laughter ] jimmy at the end of the video, were those tears of joy or terror, shawna . They were tears of joy. Like i could not like i was just so overwhelmed with the fact that he did all of this for me. Jimmy how did you get the police to go along with this prank . Well, i shot a pitch to them. I said, well, you know, we got a lot of tension in the black life and the police in our community. So lets try to break the tension by doing something positive. Jimmy yeah, well, you broke it all right. You definitely broke it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy maybe you havent set a date yet, but will the police be invited to the wedding . Yes. Jimmy very good. Well, we took the liberty of getting you a couple of engagement gifts. We got you a fondue set, which guillermo is working on, and we got you a couple of his and hers bulletproof vests. [ cheers and applause ] just in case. Well, that is an amazing story, and youre both very, very crazy, but congratulations to you and have a happy holiday. Thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats daiwon and shawna. I dont know, maybe for the honeymoon, hell take her to afghanistan or something. [ laughter ] you know, christmas, as i mentioned is coming. At this point many of the most popular toys are sold out. The nes mini classic, you cant find. Hatchimals are hard to find. But if youre looking for an adorable lastminute gift that isnt as popular as those, i think this might be the item for you. Bored of barbies . Cant find a hatchimal . Good news. Just in time for christmas, my little guillermo. My little guillermo can do all the things big guillermo can do. Like stand next to a door. And get drunk at work. Wow. Just like the real guillermo. Just make sure you give him water before bedtime, or hell wake up with a hangover, or worse oh, no, he has gout time to call in sick to work. Hello, jimmy, i have jury duty and my car is on fire. Yay i love you, my little guillermo. I love you too. Ha ha ha my little guillermo comes with everything you see here. Dream house sold separately. My little guillermo is not recommended for children. My little guillermo my little guillermo his mustache is made of rodent fur available at walgreens. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy congratulations, guillermo. All right, were going to take a break. When we come back, we have this not week in unsister censorship, this year in unnecessary censorship. So stick around, well be right back [ cheers and applause ] come on why doesnt verizon offer unlimited data like tmobile . Is it because their lte network was built six years ago . Six years ago . Thats like a hundred. In phone years. Their lte network is older, slower, and they limit you. Switch to tmobile. The newer, faster, and unlimited network. We cover 99 of the americans verizon covers. Get 4 lines, just 40 a month. Rrowl. When are they leaving . Grilled cheese and campbells tomato soup go together like grandchildren and chaos. Made for real, real life. Toys deal just arrived of this thursdays toys, can i get a picture . Hey siri, take a selfie hashtag squad goals get 20 off top toy brands thursday at target. That youre ready to makeouve gotnotsohiddenent if you have a thing but your friends dont know about your thing then take matters into your own hands by taking that phone in your hand and opening facebook. Press this. And go live. Now introduce yourself, tell them about the thing alright hit em with that talent [man belting in his house] youre doing great, and even if youre not your friends will probably still think youre awesome dear santa, ive been a very i would like a le. Lexus lexus g. Gsf. Let mommy help. With Mark Levinson sound. Well just put a little bit of glitter on here. Mommy, your wish came true. If youre going to wish, wish big at the lexus december to remember sales event. Get up to 2,500 customer cash on select 2016 and 2017 models for these terms. See your lexus dealer. Start your day with the number one choice of dentists. Philips sonicare removes significantly more plaque versus oralb 7000. Experience this amazing feel of clean. Innovation and you. Philips sonicare. Save now when you buy philips sonicare. Toys deal just arrived of this thursdays toys, can i get a picture . Hey siri, take a selfie hashtag squad goals get 20 off top toy brands thursday at target. Ive never known no one with quite your style im going crazy, thinking baby this may be my chance its going to be like this all night long what would you say to me give the gift of garth. Baby lets lay down and dance garth brooks the ultimate collection. 10 cds just 21. 25 when you use the target cartwheel app. Only at target. Baby lets lay down and dance jimmy hello there and welcome back. Blake shelton and Andrea Riseborough are on the way, but first, you know, this year, 2016, is a unique year, because this year, the first night of hanukkah falls on christmas eve, which hasnt happened since 1978, which means hanukkah and christmas are on the same day this year. Only difference is jewish kids get their presents over eight days, whereas most other kids get them all at once. Like the kid version of winning the powerball. You have too medication a decision, to make a decision. You want it as a lump sum, or you want it spread out over time . Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, dreidel. Jimmy what is that . Did somebody did you hear that . Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, dreidel. Jimmy oh, no, not this again. No hello happy hanukkah happy hanukkah im the han that chanucorn. A hanukkah unicorn. Here to spread special cheer jimmy no, i dont, i told you, gary, were not doing this again. Im sorry, this is one of our writers, gary. He came up with this stupid chanucorn costume. Hes trying to get on it the air to convince kids this character is real did you say israel . [ laughter ] the chanucorn is from israel he lives in an igloo made of hummus. Jimmy okay, no, he doesnt, because he isnt real. He is, in fact, fake. Would they give a fake character his own primetime, Network Holiday special . Jimmy no, they wouldnt. Because you dont have your own primetime Holiday Network special. Oh, yeah . Then whats this [ cheers and applause ] ho ho ho, its that time of year again. Yes, it is, its hanukkah time its the chanucorns eight stars of hanukkah, featuring ashley tisdale, dr. Oz, billy baldwin, Justice Ruth Bader ginsburg, and the chanucorn tries out for the harlem globetrotters. The chanucorn is here [ cheers and applause ] thank you for joining me this evening. Tonight were going to have some schmoozing, some kibbutzing, and if youre lucky, maybe even a little mishegos. Jimmy stop this, please. What is going on . Im hosting my own primetime hanukkah special. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy he is not. Youre stealing time away from my show right now. This is my show. Its not a primetime special. If you keep this up, im going to call security. And speaking of security, please welcome my security guard, shlomomo. [ cheers and applause ] shalom oi vey, mazza ball soups. [ laughter ] jimmy guillermo, what are you doing . Cant a person make i living . Okay, all right, there they go. Lets take a break. There they go no, no, jimmy. Can i at least bring out my eight special celebrity guests . Jimmy no, you cannot. How about five . Special celebrity guests . Jimmy no, none. One, one, one. Jimmy if i let you bring out one celebrity guest, will you promise never to do this again, next year . I swear on my bubbes tchotchkes. Jimmy okay, make it quick. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, you know him from n sync, please give a big chanucorn welcome to joey fatone. [ cheers and applause ] thats right yeah, thats right dreidel, dreidel, i made you out of clay when its dry and ready oh, dreidel, i shall play oh, dreidel, dreidel, dreidel please tell me what to do because dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, im not even a jew [ cheers and applause ] the one, the only, dreidel dog go dreidel dog, go dreidel dog yo yo yo, go dreidel dog, go dreidel dog yo yo yo, go dreidel dog, go dreidel dog happy hanukkah [ cheers and applause ] happy hanukkah. Jimmy the chanucorn, joey fatone. Thank you, joey. Dras dell dog. Somehow weve veered into mexican television, im not sure how. All right. One more thing as 2016 draws to a close. We went through the biggest tv moments of the year and selected our best bleeps and blurs and its time now for this year in unnecessary censorship. [ cheers and applause ] this morning, donald trump went on National Television and [ bleep ] my father. You pick a fight with america. You steal our security. You spit on our freedom. Well put a [ bleep ] in your ass. Its the american way. At that point, its not a robbery. At that point youre [ bleep ]ing a [ bleep ]. Weve learned a lot of things since i was a kid. I used to have adults blowing [ bleep ] in my face all the time. Were going to ride off into the sunset together. Brook has turned me on to what i like to call the diesel, which is just black [ bleep ]. All the day. Yeah, bill. We just won the world series. People came up and said, your mother, i [ bleep ] your mother. I [ bleep ] your mother. Just over and over again. It wont jump out or make your face dirty. Promise . I promise. Aaah did anybody [ bleep ] last night . [ cheers and applause ] i [ bleep ] my family, i [ bleep ] my business, i [ bleep ] my employees, and now im going to [ bleep ] you, the american people, like nobody has ever [ bleep ] before. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tonight on the show, Andrea Riseborough is here, and well be right back with Blake Shelton. [ cheers and applause ] come on, its the time of year go rabbis go rabbis go rabbis romeo wherefore art thou romeo. Call me but love, henceforth i never will be romeo my love is deep, the more i give to thee. A thousand times goodnight. Kohtake an extra 20 offurs. Already low sale prices when you spend 100 or more like fine jewelry already 5570 off toys already 1060 off and fragrance gift sets already 15 off. Plus earn kohls cash. Kohls. Inside the rack houses every barrel is aged four long years, for a fuller, smoother flavor. Our history is made from the inside. How will you make yours . And let roomba from irobot help with your everyday messes. Roomba navigates your entire home. Cleaning up pet hair and debris for up to 2 hours. Which means your floors are always clean. You and roomba, from irobot. Better. Together. Start your day with the number one choice of dentists. Philips sonicare removes significantly more plaque versus oralb 7000. Experience this amazing feel of clean. Innovation and you. Philips sonicare. Save now when you buy philips sonicare. Kohlso shop anytime forours the best gifts ever and earn kohls cash. Pick up a bb8 and get 20 kohls cash the fitbit blaze and get 30 kohls cash or a ps4 and get 50 kohls cash. Give a little more and get a little more this holiday. Kohls. How else do you think he gets around so fast . Take the reins this holiday and get the mercedesbenz youve always wanted during the winter event. Now lease the 2017 gla250 for 329 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Jimmy welcome back. Tonight, from the movie Nocturnal Animals, Andrea Riseborough is here. We got pedestrians in our room, and we will go outside for music from Blake Shelton. We had a santa come to the show today after rehearsal. Believe it or not, we rehearse the show. So a lot of the parents who work here brought their kids in to take pictures with santa. We brought my daughter in, guillermo brought his son benji. Benji just turned 5, right . Yeah, hes 5. Jimmy hes very cute. I chatted with him. What does he want for christmas . He wants the star wars toys. Jimmy did you get them for him . Yes. Jimmy which one did you get him . I dont know their names, but most all of them. Jimmy how does it work . You say santa brought them . Or do you take any credit at all for them . No, i tell them santa brought it and left it right there for you. Jimmy okay, very good. A little bit of insight into our personal lives. [ laughter ] our first guest tonight is a hugely Popular Television star with a very nice career in Country Music on the side. His latest album is called, if im honest. Please welcome Blake Shelton [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you doing . Two years. Jimmy i know, its been a long time. Two years since ive been here. Hello. Jimmy it has been two years. And i wish you would come more often. But i have been, fortunately, ive been able to spend a lot of time with your face, looking at this cd. I dont know if you can tell, but when you move the cd, and by the way, what a face you have. I mean, i asked [ cheers and applause ] oh, there we go. Look at that. Its like, anywhere you sit, youre looking at him. What the hell is wrong with you . [ laughter ] jimmy i dont know, lets go through the inside of it too. Stop what are you doing . Jimmy theres more. Oh, my god. Its pictures. Its a damn picture. What is your deal . Jimmy its just so funny, because this is so not you, i feel like. You never sit on the rocks and look at of course, i do. When im here, i drive out to malibu all the time. Sit there and i look at the whales and wonder how they must taste. [ laughter ] you know, thats what everybody around here does in los angeles. Jimmy it looks like a cholesterol medication commercial to me. [ laughter ] good to see you. Are you liking l. A. Better . Last time you were here, you were having a tough time adjusting to our lifestyle, whatever that is. Ill take that as a no. Well, my girlfriend lives here. So that makes it a lot more appealing. [ cheers and applause ] but the fact remains that, you know, the house is about, i dont know, two miles from here, and it took, i dont know, three hours to get here. Jimmy yeah, thats no good. So that sucks. Jimmy i heard you have a helicopter at your house in oklahoma. Is that correct . Is that true . I have a have you been talking to carson . Jimmy i have. Carson daly told me. Look, someday, when we all make it, well get a helicopter. Yes, i have a helicopter. Jimmy i would have a helicopter if i wasnt a vomiter. Where would you go . You would raise up and see your house from here and land. Jimmy thats why i dont have a helicopter, i guess. Do you take gwen on bachelor style helicopter dates . Around the oklahoma area . We use that thing a lot. It gets a lot more use than you would think. Jimmy it does, really. I dont fly it. I dont know how to fly, so we use somebody else. Jimmy are you going to learn . In order to fly, you need to be drinking. I think, in order to be able to settle in and really enjoy it, you got to have some drinks. And you shouldnt be flying. Jimmy thats great advice for kids from Blake Shelton. [ laughter ] do not fly your helicopter drunk, ever. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] happy holidays. Happy holidays. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy is a part of you listen to Christmas Music every day, is that the case . All year long, i listen to it. Jimmy even the fourth of july . I listen to michael buble, andy williams. All those people. Jimmy why . You love christmas that much . I do. I love Christmas Music. Dont you . Jimmy i do, but i only like it at christmas, and not before thanksgiving, and then the day after christmas is over, i do not want to hear it. Really . Jimmy no. See, i dont want to let go, the day after christmas its like, its still close enough, im sure theres people that havent celebrated yet, because they got to go to the other familys house, and lets all keep it going in honor of whoever those people may be. [ laughter ] jimmy i also heard you love the golden girls. The tv show. Is that true . Is that one of your favorite shows . [ cheers and applause ] you can be honest. Im just trying to figure out your segues. Lets say everything we can say to embarrass blake. Jimmy your friend carson told me something so unbelievably embarrassing and horrible that if i were to say it right now, you would literally have to go into hiding. Okay . Lets talk about the golden girls. I gotcha. Jimmy yeah. I hear you loud and clear. [ laughter ] what do you want to know about the golden girls . Jimmy who is your favorite golden girl . Dorothy, for sure. Jimmy why is dorothy your favorite . Which is bea arthur, right . Jimmy yeah, of course. I just think her sarcasm on that show is incredible. Dont you think . Jimmy well, shes very funny. I love sarcasm, and remember benson . Jimmy yeah. Thats why i love that show. That guy was such a smartass. Jimmy benson is another favorite. Benson is a good show. Or did we think it was a good show because we were young and we didnt know what good was . I dont know. I dont know. Jimmy benson and golden girls. Wow. So much to learn about you. You know, its really i cant imagine you sitting at home watching the golden girls. But you do. Well, get over it. [ laughter ] because i watch it. I mean, you need to accept it. Its a good show. Have you never watched the show before . Jimmy i have, but i feel like its i have watched it, but its not something im planning the day around. You dont have to, its on like 24 hours a day. Benson is not, its hard to find. Jimmy gwen is from orange county. She took you to her kind of home area, anaheim, to disneyland, which youd never been to before. She took me to she took me to disneyland and then she drove me down the street to the house that she grew up in, and then the house that they used where they created basically created no doubt and wrote a lot of the songs and rehearsed every day. Its on beacon street down there. I got to see all that stuff. Jimmy was that interesting for you . Or did you pretend it was interesting . No, it was so interesting. Heres why. The houses have been sold and bought or whatever. And so, if you look out your window and gwen stefani is standing in your lawn taking selfies, and this happened. I was down there just a couple of months ago. She was like, oh, my god, theres my house, jumps out of the car, standing in these random peoples lawn, that may not even know they live in the house she grew up in, and shes taking selfies in front of it. It was cool. Jimmy did they let her in . Did you go inside the house . They didnt even it was so weird, all you saw was curtains. Remember that movie, the burbs . It was like that. They were like looking, shut it. I dont know. Jimmy i want to ask you about the album. The title of the album is if im honest. Does that mean anything in particular . Do you normally hold back . [ laughter ] i mean, with eyes like these, i would imagine you dont hold anything back, really. You realize thats not [ cheers and applause ] jimmy can i get a big one of these for my house . You realize that is not new technology. They had that in the 80s. In the 80s, we had those pictures you could do that. Jimmy but never with this face, no, no. [ laughter ] well, its very good to have you here. What song are you going to do for us tonight . Well, because you were gracious enough to set up a big stage out there for me, were doing a bunch of songs. Jimmy oh, great. I think for television, well do guy with a girl and shes got a way with words. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Blake Shelton, everybody this is his cd, its called if im honest. Well be right back with more. [ cheers and applause ] and if you want to be free, be free cause theres a million things to be you know that there are and if you want to be me, be me and if you want to be you, be you cause theres a million things to do you know that there are but so we dont have tormin wad to get clean. Charmin ultra soft gets you clean without the wasteful wadding. It has comfort cushions you can see that are softer. And more absorbent, and you can use up to 4 times less. Enjoy the go with charmin. Oh my. What is it . Its samsung gear vr you put it in there. Push the play button. Oh. This is crazy oh my gosh whooooah wow youve gotta try this. 3,2,1. Lumiere, action our progressive direct rate. Great deals for reals . And our competitors rates sidebyside, so you know youre getting a great deal. Saving the moolah. [ chuckles ] as you can see, sometimes progressive isnt the lowest. Not always the lowest jamie. What are you doing . Im being your hype man. Not right now. You said i was gonna be the hype man. No, we said we wouldnt do it. Im sorry, we were talking about savings. I liked his way. Chaching talking about getting that moneeeey talking about getting that moneeeey savings worth the hype. Now thats progressive. Savings worth the hype. These as wamy. Its been years oh, you smell the same. Meet my wife and my kids. Oh you guys are so goodlooking. And impeccably dressed. Thanks. Its all old navy. You sending off some last minute gifts . I miss us. You know . You should go to old navy. The entire store is up to 75 off right now. Amazing idea. Okay, i think ill go there. Get out of here. I dont know what that is. Im just scratching my eyes. Jimmy welcome back, Andrea Riseborough and music from Blake Shelton is on the way, but first, the holidays are almost here. Next guest from the movie birdman, and the tv show bloodline. Thriller Nocturnal Animals, please welcome Andrea Riseborough [ cheers and applause ] hey, have you ever seen the golden girls . Yeah, i have seen it. Weve got it in britain. Jimmy thats a thing over there . Yeah, yeah. Jimmy where are you from in england . What part . Newcastle. Its like the armpit of the jimmy is it really . Its the cold, northeastern part. Jimmy its funny, because you hear newcastle, and you think its some shining city on a hill. It was jimmy is that where the ale is from . Yeah, and that stop rots your bladder. You have a pint of it. I took an exboyfriend to newcastle and the whole time im here im going to drink brown ale. We were in a theater, we were in a play and halfway through, he was like because it just sits in there and the yeast ferments and then youve got to pee, you have no choice, youve got to just pee immediately. Jimmy they should put that in the ads. [ laughter ] yeah, on behalf of my people, you are welcome. Jimmy will you go home for christmas . No, im going to venice for christmas. Jimmy oh, italy . Or california . Sounds quite fancy. Not the skate park, no. Jimmy oh, okay. Wow. Thats fun. I know, yeah. Jimmy have you been there before . Yeah, i went when i was 19 with no money and thought it would be fine and i could just live off art. Jimmy and . It didnt work. Jimmy it didnt work, yeah. Cut to next scene and i was like really i remember passing out in a Leonardo Da Vinci exhibition, just my head hitting the marble floor, being emaciated, and sleeping on trains, i got interrail pass and i had nowhere to stay, so me and a friend slept on trains. Yeah. Jimmy youve had a terrible life. [ laughter ] its been really hard. Jimmy do you ever look back on those days and long for them . No. Jimmy no . [ laughter ] where do you live now . I live here. Jimmy do you like it here in l. A. . Yeah. Jimmy you do . Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy because a lot of people dont like l. A. , but i find that almost everyone who comes here from england loves l. A. Yeah, i kinda hate when people are like, why do you live in l. A. . I really have such a love for california, and there are so many brilliant artists that have come from this place. Its an inspiring place. Joan didion. Jimmy californias the best state, theres no two ways about it. And ill fight anyone who says it isnt. [ cheers and applause ] it is. And we have the best flag here. Do you know the california flag . Yes. Jimmy its a bear. I thought that was a Mountain Lion. Jimmy no, its not a Mountain Lion. That was a joke. Jimmy oh. That was a joke, okay. [ laughter ] maybe too many of those newcastles. C3po, that Mountain Lion. Whats it called . Jimmy no, thats a oh, the robot from star wars. Its got a name. Jimmy oh, the one they tagged . Yeah. Jimmy am i supposed to know this . I was hoping you might. Jimmy does the Mountain Lion really have a name . Doesnt the Mountain Lion have to accept the name . You cant just force a name on a Mountain Lion. My friends had a pet communicator. Who was just talking about it in the green room. Jimmy they did . She said it went really well. Jimmy what kind of pet . A westie called ollie. Jimmy and she believes theres a person that can read the mind of a pet. Oh, they did it online, they werent even there. Jimmy even worse. [ laughter ] so online this is worse than, like, tinder. Online theres somebody how much did they pay this person to do that . I think the thing is, just to be openminded about it. [ laughter ] jimmy you know how much it costs . He was having trouble with food. And now hes eating food. So, you know, its worked out for everyone. Jimmy well, thats great. Im glad to hear that worked out. Thats ridiculous. Guillermo, go take all their money from them. All right. Jimmy go run out there. Thats his excuse to go start getting drunk before the holiday. [ laughter ] by the way, i really enjoyed this movie Nocturnal Animals. Its great. Jimmy your character is a socialite, married to michael sheens character. I was really obvious casting for a socialite. Jimmy did you base the character on an actual socialite . No, so the night i got there, tom was there at my trailer and was like, you look fabulous. In my own clothes, which i was like jimmy yeah, sure. I think i was wearing slippers and i had a fake tattoo on my arm. It was terrible, not the way you want to meet tom ford. And he said, you know, youre playing my best friend. And i said like tonight, like in 15 thats when youre telling me . In 15 in my own country, ive made almost my entire career on playing people who actually existed. Jimmy so the character is really based on his real best friend . His real best friend. I said, shes living . A living, breathing thing, like an entity on the planet earth . And he was like, yeah, shes fabulous. And i said, well, can you describe to me what shes like . And hes like, we have, like, ten minutes. [ laughter ] jimmy wow. Was she happy with your portrayal of her . I met her just the other week. It was weird. I think i hope that i i hope i did an all right job with it. I dont know. When i met her, because she is fabulous, and shes a socialite, but she has this real earthy, wonderful, centered, like, true authenticity about her. And i dont know whether thats my judgment, but i hope i captured that, as well as the fabulousness. Jimmy did she indicate you captured it . Because if shes so authentic, you should have known. Its weird when you meet someone youve played because they slowly back away from you. [ laughter ] you go oh and they go so, i dont know. I couldnt read. Jimmy its great to have you here. Have a Great Holiday in venice. [ cheers and applause ] im jealous. That sounds fantastic. Andrea riseborough. Watch Nocturnal Animals in theaters now. Well be right back with Blake Shelton. [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is brought to you by the Dicks Sporting Goods foundation. Go to sportsmatter. Org to help save youth sports. Just serve classy snacks and be a gracious host, no matter who shows up. [cricket sound] richard. Didnt think you were going to make it. Hey sorry about last weekend, i dont know what got into me. Well forgive and forget. Kind of. I dont think so do you like nuts . Toys deal just arrived of this thursdays toys, can i get a picture . Hey siri, take a selfie hashtag squad goals get 20 off top toy brands thursday at target. Start your day with the number one choice of dentists. Philips sonicare removes significantly more plaque versus oralb 7000. Experience this amazing feel of clean. Innovation and you. Philips sonicare. Save now when you buy philips sonicare. Enjoy your phone you too. All right, be cool. You got the amazing new iphone 7 on the house by switching to at t. What . . 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Jimmy thanks to joey fatone, Andrea Riseborough, and i do want to make an apology to matt damon. We ran out of time for him again. We will try to get matt on the show in 2017. Nightline is next, but first his album is called if im honest, here with the song, a guy with a girl, Blake Shelton [ cheers and applause ] sometimes im the guy with the boys kicking it back or the guy with the guitar singing on a country track i might be the guy with an ice cold can stirring up dust on some old farmland when i walk into the party with you, girl you change all that im just the guy with the girl everybody wants to know wishin you were there alone wonderin how i ever got your little hand in mine lookin over at ya like aint she beautiful im invisible but i stand right there and smile youre right beside me oh and i see the same thing theyre seein but i dont mind being the guy with the girl its funny watchin em do the way they do they come walkin up to me but they only wanna talk to you and i dont blame em that theyre hypnotized they keep staring at your heartbreak eyes its like their heart starts stoppin when you come walkin into the room and i turn into the guy with the girl everybody wants to know wishin you were there alone wonderin how i ever got your little hand in mine lookin over at ya like aint she beautiful im invisible but i stand right there and smile youre right beside me oh and i see the same thing theyre seein but i dont mind being the guy with the girl the guy that dont know how he got her but he aint never gonna let her never gonna let her go whoa oh yeah im just the guy with the girl everybody wants to know wishin you were there alone wonderin how i ever got your little hand in mine lookin over at ya like aint she beautiful im invisible but i stand right there and smile youre right beside me oh and i see the same thing theyre seein but i dont mind being the guy with the girl no, i dont mind being the guy with the girl yeah, im just the guy with the girl im always the guy with the girl i dont mind it, baby i dont mind it, baby im just the guy with the girl thats all i am im just the guy with the girl when you put two and two together i should have known that when i met her but she had to spell it out for me after all that secondguessing its been a long hard History Lesson hell thats a class i got an f in but now i understand perfectly she put the y in try she put the sob in sober she put the x in chex she put a big fu in my future shes got a way shes got a way with words shes got a way with words little words like i and do lie and cheat and screw the words i thought i knew got a brandnew meaning now she put the hurt in hurt she put the y in try she put the sob in sober she put the hang . Hangover she put the x in sex she put the low in blow she put a big fu in my future yeah shes got a way shes got a way with words yes shes got a way with words this is nightline. Tonight, divorce party. Happy divorce this couple knows the secret of a healthy divorce. A lot of work. Yeah. And humility and sacrifice. Cheering on their newfound single status with a blowout for friends and family. Could this be a new trend in our separation nation . Plus, cover girl. Celebrating michelle obama. Bringing new designers to the white house. Giving smaller names a big platform. I wouldnt be here talking with you had it not been for her. A look at her legacy of style and strength. Kendras kineness. What was Kendra Wilkinson doing at this california kmart . The answer had some