Arent going to like me . Yeah. Yeah, i suppose i dont know. Im a complex yeah. Person, i guess. I get the feeling. But not to people who know me. Yeah. No, im very, very lovable. Now, let me tell you about my grandson, and then ill go . Or dont you want me you dont have to go. Well, no, youve got youve got some young kids backstage would you do one thing before you do that . Would you show them your suspenders . This has intrigued me. I havent seen you for a long time, and i walked in and you were wearing these what well i [ applause ] i thought maybe you were going directly from here to heehaw. Or something and i [ laughter ] thought you were dressing for the occasion. No, no. Were going to come back. We got a couple of charming pictures about you and your grandson and we got a little clip. Stay here. For adults with advanced nonsmall cell lung cancer previously treated with platinumbased chemotherapy, including those with an abnormal alk or egfr gene whove tried an fdaapproved targeted therapy, with Opdivo Nivolumab . Opdivo demonstrated longer life and is the most prescribed immunotherapy for these patients. Opdivo significantly increased the chance of living longer versus chemotherapy. Opdivo works with your immune system. Opdivo can cause your immune system to attack normal organs and tissues in your body and affect how they work. This may happen any time during or after treatment has ended, and may become serious and lead to death. If you experience new or worsening cough; chest pain; shortness of breath; diarrhea; severe stomach pain or tenderness; severe nausea or vomiting; extreme fatigue; constipation; excessive thirst or urine; swollen ankles; loss of appetite; rash; itching; headache; confusion; hallucinations; muscle or joint pain; flushing; or fever. As this may keep these problems from becoming more serious. These are not all the possible side effects of opdivo. Tell your doctor about all your medical conditions, including immune system problems, ance to live longer. Ask your doctor about opdivo. See opdivotv. Com for this and other indications. Bristolmyers squibb thanks the patients, nurses, and physicians involved in opdivo clinical trials. [ music ] [ applause ] we are back. Want me to show you this picture . Let me show this picture it will be on the monitor. This is one of the reasons this is the reason i did the special. I had no reason to come back into show business, but i began to buy films in the bath tub with your there it is i found some kinescopes of mine and i began to edit them for my grandson. I wanted to leave a legacy of what grandpa did. Youre on the monitor now. Where . Thats a pretty picture. See i felt we have a jacuzzi built in the floor and i every weekend, he comes and stays with me, and we bounce around in there, and i thought that was kind of a cute show theres another one, too, please. Want to show this one . [ laughter ] that one here. Or this one. Which one. Oh, either one. Okay, how about that one . Well, thats a good picture. Thats his isnt he adorable . Let me tell you about him. Hes a marvelous little kid, and when i have him in the jacuzzi, see, its built into the floor. Understand . And then i have to take him out and i dry him and im god, i cant bend anymore, either. I lift him out, see, at the floor level, to diaper him. I tried to take a diaper off over his head, and that is not the way to do that. [ laughter ] so, i had him down, and i give him the talcum powder and im about to diaper him, and he peed right in my eye. [ laughter ] its a good thing i wasnt talking at the time [ laughter ] but now, this poor little kid, he doesnt he doesnt talk much. Doesnt talk practically at all, and the first words that my grandson andy said first words year and a half doesnt say none of that nananeenoo none of that stuff. He was in his little diapers, and he was walking, and he wet his pants, and he looked at me, and his first words were, oh dear, oh dear. [ laughter ] [ applause ] oh dear, oh dear. You realize, if you wouldve told that story i couldnt of told it when you were on television thats right. Nbc censors wouldve cut it then, and you wouldve gone off to china again. Now, im going to tell you one of the best stories youve heard. Now, thats quite a promise, isnt it . Yes. All right. Its about a man that worked for you, and worked for bobby quinn, and worked for the im not going to mention his name, because his son might resent the story, because hes now 20 22 maybe. At that time, he was 3, and we were all concerned the mans name was johnny. The kids name was kier kier. And they were concerned no mamma, no daddy no nothing. And they thought he might be mute, or deaf, and it was quite a serious problem. We all would hear about this. They took him to doctors nothing is physically wrong with him. He just had nothing to say. He didnt want to talk. [ laughter ] hed sit in front of the television, and watch it all day, and occasionally, he would murmur some word from the television. Thats all. Sunday came, and john, our friend with kier, and the mother took the daughter, and they went to church. And john said to kier, kier, youre going to stop this bit. Youre going to talk. You are going to talk. Now, picture thats mama. You say that, kier. Say it, kier. Mam hed say, mam [ laughter ] sister. Sister, kier. Sist sister. And who am i, kier . Daddy well, john said, a miracle, wait until they come home. They came home from church and he said, darling, come in the room, here. You cant believe whats happened. Kier, who is this . Mama . Whos that . Sister . Who am i . And kier, who are you . And the kid said, my name is harry reasoner. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i never told that. Thats a wonderful story. Im going to go now. Thats a wonderful story. [ laughing ] hey, i cant tell you it was great having you here. I mean that. Johnny, it was so nice of you to ask me. To see my special, because, its one of the Better Things ive ever done. Yeah, you want to stick around whiheeoe come out, or do you want to run . Would you well, i i talk too much. No, you thank you, jack. Goodbye. [ music ] [ applause ] that was fun that was fascinating. Thats the longest conversation ive had with jack paar was right here. Well take a break. Well be right back. [ music ] [ applause ] all right, were back. Sure, sure thing. My next guest is a very talented actor. He received a dramadous a dramadous dramadous dramadery no. A drama desk nomination for his work in he also starred in a television version, and hes one of the stars of the Television Series crime story, which apparently has been on fridays ten its going to move to its going to move to fridays. It wasnt on fridays. Its moving what the hell am i talking about . [ laughter ] will move to fridays at 10 on nbc, beginning december the 5th. Would you welcome stephen lang . [ music ] how are you . Im good. Good to meet you. My name is steve allen. Steve [ making strange sound ] do you go back you dont go back that far no. To the early days of steve allen . No. You probably i was talking with jack paar before the show, and jack was very concerned. He says, you know, theres a jack always talks this way. He says, theres a lot of people out there who are not going to remember me at all. So, you dont go that far back, do you . No, but, its okay, nobody remembers me, anyway. Yeah. Im kind of new. Yeah. You broadway, you did death of a salesman. Sure did. Yeah. I and John Malkovich and yeah, and a tv version also . Fascinating play. How did it i saw it on television i didnt see the broadway play. Did it transpose as well to television, or is the theater its always its always tough sometimes to transpose something yeah. Well, we redid it completely. Right. I mean, we played it about 250 times on broadway right. And you know, you find out what works on stage doesnt necessarily work on film. Yeah. But particularly my character i played happy, and you know, comedy on stage is very, very different than comedy on film. Right. And dustin, who is i would characterize as the pete rose of acting hes a relentless actor was really after me the whole time to change my performance to gear it towards film. Right. That was difficult after having done it, you know, so many times on stage. Do you find doing Something Like that on broadway night after night, that the audience reaction will be different, even though youre essentially doing the same lines . Out why that is . Yeah, its different but with this play, it was always with salesman, which i think is the greatest American Play yeah. It was always it was a monumental reaction we had every night. They react differently to the nuances of the play. Right. But we had i never was involved in something that had such a special relationship with an audience because and and every night, we were reluctant to let that relationship go. Yeah. They would stand and somebody told me in relation to that, curtain speeches. Well, as i said, he was reluctant to let the audience relationship end, and so, he would go out after wed taken our bows and make a little speech. Talk about something that happened it first happened in chicago. Right. And it was a night that ethel merman had passed away, and he gave an impromptu eulogy to ethel merman that was kind of touching. Right. And he enjoyed it so much that he began making impromptu speeches, uh, at any time. About what . A birthday a cast member hed point it out to the audience, and wed get applause. If somebody had an aunt visiting from iowa, hed introduce her. Someone it was dentists son, had a bar mitzvah he would talk about hed point that out. He just like to just liked that relationship, yeah. Whats your background . Originally. Im from new york city. Yeah. From queens. [ applause ] yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Home of the championship new york mets. You were probably too young to remember the mets when they were the laughing stock of baseball. Not at all [ laughter ] no, really. Not at all 1962. I was there at the beginning, and Marv Throneberry . Marvelous marv, yeah, elio chacon, Pumpsie Green and now theyre the champions. I remember at one point, the mets carried four catchers and they had, uh, chris cannizzaro, who could throw. Right. And they had jesse gonder, who could hit, and they had norm sherry, who could catch the ball. And they had choochoo coleman, who couldnt do nothing, so he started. [ laughter ] what did you do, now ive always asked actors who do this what you do when youre between as they say, at liberty . What kind of jobs have you had . You know those like, poles, along the roads . Little guardrails . Yeah. Id paint them. Wow. [ laughter ] that was me. That was you . Yeah, i painted them, yup. And, uh. Oh god, what else did i do . I used to work at a moving company. Which is an interesting thing for an actor to do, because i think moving day is probably the most dramatic right. Experience in a persons year, probably. And so, id see an awful lot of drama and trauma. And i could always. I can tell ya two things about moving. One is that the husbands never home for it, ever. Thats interesting. I didnt know that. And the other thing is, you can always tell if its a company move, because if its a company move, they will take the dirt from the backyard. [ laughter ] cause that says well move you and your belongings to your new job. Everything. Ive moved dirt. Ive moved trees. Ive moved garbage. Everything there is. But i think prly the most the job i liked best is one i didnt continue on, was cabbing. I think every actor should drive a cab. Thats what they say because you probably can draw on more experiences later on in acting and meet all different kinds of people. I didnt get too far with it. What happened was, i was in philadelphia at the time, and you had to take a test phillys great too. I had to take a you had to take a test, and the test consisted of a day of classes you know, you take the schuylkill expressway if you want to get from and then at the end of the day, you go with the instructor, whos a cabbie emeritus right. I guess. And he give you a you take a written exam. And its a 25question exam and he gave us all pencils and paper, and it was 1 to 25, and he says, what im going to do is im going to read the question to you, and you will pick a,b,c, or d multiple choice, but to save time, im going to give you the answer to put in. So he would give us the question, and then hed give us the answer. And so, that was the test for being a cabbie. But the sad thing is, a couple of guys flunked. [ laughter ] even with all of that . But i got most of them right. Yeah. [ laughter ] i dont want to embarrass you, but there was a was it 60 minutes that did the profile of your father . Yeah. Eugene lang . Yeah, it sure is, yeah. He did a very interesting thing yeah. Your father, if i remember the story. He was a graduate of what was the school of new york . P. S. 121, and he graduated there about 50 years ago. And now hes a selfmade man, and about in 1981, he was asked to be the Commencement Speaker at the 6th grade graduation. Right. And he went up there and he realized as he was going to talk about these kids its primarily a black and Hispanic School now but he was about to say to them, which is basically, you know you are the future try, try, try right. Everything was going to be regarded as a lot of irrelevant crap by then. Right. So, inspiration took over, and began talking to them abth of dreaming, and out of that came, he said, you know, if you can make it if you make it through high school, i guarantee that every one of you will have an opportunity to go to college because ill put you through. The words just came out. And that was, uh. And you know, in new york, nationally, we have over a 50 dropout rate yeah. And in ghettos, its much, much higher than that. But this particular group of kids we have about a over 90 rate of kids who stayed in school to pay for their High School Education and if they finish that to go on to yeah, because somebody cared about them and theyre going to and he keeps in touch. [ applause ] not only does he do that, but he keeps in touch with them. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, we have to cut away. Well be right back. [ music ] [ applause ] oh, hello there. We are back. Anyway, your show is having big success. Crime story is going to move to ten on friday are you enjoying that . Yeah, very much. Weve been on a tough timeslot yeah. But weve got weve been getting a lot of mail some real dedicated viewers and theyre moving us. Nbc has the grace and the confidence to move us thank you for being here, stephen. Thank you. My apologies to, uh ellen degeneres, who was supposed to be with us tonight, and weve asked her to join us when she can, i would like to mention where shes going to be. Shell be appearing at the punchline in san francisco, the 3rd of december to the 6th, and at the improv in dallas december the 9th through the 14th. So, ellen, come back with us soon. [ music ] my thanks to jack paar, thank you. And well see you tomorrow night. [ applause ] [ music ] ah, cherie, you have arrived. Pour vous. You look stunning. Come into my chambers. Martini . Or would you prefer something more. Intimate . What is this . This is the next big breakthrough in home entertainment. Im offering myself as a video escort for lonely women everywhere. I figure itll retail for 19. 95. Come and sit next to me, darling. Your hair is perfection. Rumaki . Rumaki. Is that class or what . Ite like you. [chewing] so, what do you think . Of all your stupid getrichquick ideas, its the most creative. Face it. Im a dream date. Im personable. People warm to me. The camera loves me, and america will, too. Not everybody warms to you, vinnie. What does that mean . We should talk about this later. Hey. Hey, we have no secrets here. Vinnie, we have to face facts. My parents kind of hate you. Aw. Youre exaggerating. Vinnie, they offered to buy me a volkswagen if id break up with you. Are you serious . Yeah. They even gave me the brochure. Oh, a jetta. Uhhuh. I dont believe it. That is the most disgusting thing ive ever seen. You off with a car. Well, i trust you told them what for. Remember i love you, and nothings going to change that. Ugh it together. Ha ha. Weve been through tougher things than this. [doorbell rings] ready . [sighs] [doorbell rings] irene. David. Mom hello, sweetheart. Hello, baby girl. Doogie . Katherine, hes a man. Hi, grandma. Oh, hes got a mans voice and everything. Stop, irene. Youre embarrassing the boy. How are you . Hi, grandpa. Is that a whisker i see there . Hmm oh. Well, david. Hi, don. Huh slow down. No, don. David . Illill go get the bags. Yes, do. Dont strain yourself, david. Backs get tricky at our age. Dis . Thats not a word. Its slang, mom. Ill use it in a sentence. My girlfriend dissed me when she dumped me for a car. Just an example. Dis, dumped, jilted, and your triple word score screwed. What can i say . The letters just fell into place. [banging on door] is this door hung even . Well, either that or this house has slipped off its foundation. Oh, you know how don is, david. Contractors always criticize other peoples houses. Oh. Lets see here. Hey, whats this . Deflagrate . Were allowing medical words . I think youll find deflagrate is part of everyday language. You hear that, irene . Thats part of everyday language. Just your regular sevensyllable word for the man on the street. Well, it must be wonderful living with a walking dictionary. Heist. Good word, dad. Its no deflagrate. Well, thats 18 points. Your turn, vinnie. Is vixen a word or just a reindeer . Vinnie, youll have to shake this off. I cant help it. Im right, arent i . Janine is showing no backbone. A new cars a big prize to dangle in front of her. I dont think its fair of janines parents to make her choose. You have to set them straight. You have to let them go. Part of being a good parent is respecting their wishes. A girl of 20 doesnt know what she wants. Actually, shes 17, but lets not pick nits. Its a different ballgame when you have a daughter. Many people want to take advantage of them. Take advantage . By offering her a home and happy marriage . Marriage . Back up a minute. Dont raise your voice. Well, its not going to happen now, buster. Irene. Whoa. I cant believe your family got that upset about me and janine. Dad, what is going on between you and grandpa . You can tell me whats going on. [sighs] well, when dad and i started dating, your grandfather had a real hard time accepting it. He just felt your father was too old for me. Hes not that much older. When youre 20 and you bring home a 35yearold man, it seems like a whole lot older. So what happened . Well, a lot of arguments. Grandpa tried to stop me from seeing him, then he threatened not to come to the wedding. We ended up eloping. You said you had a small family wedding. Oh, we did. Just me and your father. Great. This is what our thanksgivings
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